Shattered
by hippiechick2112
Summary: Admiral James Kirk would have normally found a conference boring. However, with the arrival of his old flame, Alyssa Elma, and the secrets he left behind on a remote planet years before, he would have to fuse past and present to form a picture of the coming danger. Story two of the series "One Headlight".
1. The New Conference

**Shattered**

 **Note and Disclaimer: Like everyone else, I don't own anything from _Star Trek_. However, whatever characters I've made up (like Alyssa Elma) are mine and I am asking you use them with permission. This is story two of my series _One Headlight_. It will jump between the years 2270-2271 (in italics) and 2282 (regular print), placed between _The Motion Picture_ and _The Wrath of Khan_. I have changed a little _Star Trek_ canon and followed some of the books, which I hope you all will forgive. Enjoy!**

* * *

 _In a way, I need a change  
From this burnout scene.  
Another time, another town,  
Another everything…  
But it's always back to you._

 _Stumble out, in the night,  
From the pouring rain  
Made the block, sat and thought.  
There's more I need.  
It's always back to you._

 _But I'm good without you.  
Yeah, I'm good without you.  
Yeah, yeah, yeah…_

 _How many times can  
I break till I shatter?  
Over the line can't  
Define what I'm after.  
I always turn the car around._

 _Give me a break,  
Let me make my own pattern.  
All that it takes is some time,  
But I'm shattered  
I always turn the car around…_

Out of all of the able security officers available in the Fleet, it had to be _her_. After all of those years, when they decided that their relationship was going to endanger them both and the children and that they would be best apart, she had been selected as head of security to the peace conference they were having at the Federation's main headquarters in San Francisco. Now head of all Starfleet security, she was assigned the delicate task of delegates' safety in their quest to make peace with the planet of Thyria, an unknown planet seeking Federation protection.

Conflicting memories and emotions rolled over Admiral James T. Kirk in that room, but now was not the time to confront them when so much was at stake and he had to be on show. Even with his recent (albeit short) retirement just a distant memory and Antonia and the mountain cabin a bittersweet dream, he still remained stoic as the unusual alien race slid into sight and the welcoming ceremony began. Finally at attention, he stood tall amongst a long line of Starfleet officers as the humanoid shield encircled all of them. He soon was shaking the hands of their wary visitors and listening to their greetings.

Kirk had enough of the Thyrians in a short time. He was diplomatic enough to hide a yawn when the last in line had stated how lovely it was to see him and a great honor for him to be at the table. By then, security had moved to the rear when the room was declared menace free, guarding them fiercely as the door clicked closed like a tomb and they marched forward to their seats. Kirk had lost track of Alyssa and tuned out her nearby voice, thinking it prudent to keep his distance for now. Besides, Kevin Riley had caught up to him by then.

An assistant to the end (and still his Chief of Staff after his stint with Antonia), Riley was devoted to the admiral and forever ensured the finer details had been organized. If not, he was on top of them until everything went smoothly, using his own authority to throw some weight around. Ever since Lori had been killed in that transporter accident some years ago, the aide felt obligated to take her place in everything except inside his home. He checked in from time to time, using every excuse he could just to justify his coming to Kirk's apartment. He dared to even bombard his communications if there wasn't an answer too.

The admiral decided to play stupid with Riley to get some information. He had not checked on Alyssa in a few years. "Who's the woman in charge?" he asked in a hushed whisper. "She looks familiar."

"Oh, Captain Alyssa Elma?" Riley wrinkled his forehead, thinking hard. "I would have thought you'd known her, Admiral."

"Vaguely, I suppose. What's she doing here?"

"As the head of Starfleet's security now, she is entitled to be assigned to big places like this. It's said that she volunteered, thinking it dangerous to bring prestigious people in one spot and wanting to handle it herself. Other rumors place her being ordered to come here. I doubt the former theory. Besides, Starfleet Command would have wanted her expertise anyway."

"How so?" Kirk was quite amused by this gossip.

Riley warmed up to the theme. "There is some controversy over this peace treaty, Admiral, and when it came to wellbeing, they needed someone high up the chain to handle this matter. Starfleet wanted an officer who has proven their worth in salt."

"I see," Kirk replied. He retained his interest.

"After…well, after Admiral Uriah's crimes and the courageous way she conducted herself subsequently, she had remained at her position and ensured peace on Synprilox until the planet was destroyed. She narrowly escaped death and had been assigned to Earth last year, I believe."

"Ahh, I remember her now. I was on Synprilox and Keplar III for six months observing the hostile political situation. She had housed me. However, I don't recall seeing her fighting evil."

"She has the medals to prove it, Sir. Her actions speak louder than her words."

"Indeed. But a decoration does not prove anything."

Riley digested the point and nodded, changing the topic. "Her children will be together shortly. Her oldest, Ryder Elma, is currently in Starfleet Academy and graduating this week. He has top marks in all courses, has displayed intelligence and skill in the Kobayaski Maru through the failure and is on his way to a ship. He's graduating years before the expected time and will be slated for a junior officer. He would be the youngest that Starfleet has ever had."

Kirk scratched his chin. "You said that the captain has more children?"

"Just another, her youngest, a daughter named Alice." Riley smiled. "I think the kid's ten or eleven years old. Bright girl. I talked with her before the head of the daycare shut its doors."

"Since when do you have the time?"

"You do allow me free breaks… _Sir_."

Kirk chuckled lightly. "So I do. Is Miss Alice still in the building or has she been sent to another Federation daycare or school?"

"Still a few floors down, with the other children of those present. Apparently, Admiral, the captain isn't the only person who have kids that might get in the way. The Thyrians were liberal in bringing every family member they could, most of them younger than eighteen Earth years."

"You mentioned that her oldest was graduating from the Academy?"

"Yes, Sir. Cadet Elma is off for the summer and might join his mother and sister later this week and would take care of any babysitting. _That_ would give the daycare matron a scare."

"What's his reason for coming other than family and to cause chaos?"

Riley shrugged his shoulders and would have responded had he not been called elsewhere. He rushed ahead to the request of another high-ranking officer, frantically giving the admiral a prompt farewell. Kirk, deprived of his Chief of Staff for the moment, brooded in silence as he found his seat and digested the information. The arrival of an old flame meant a lot to him, more than the others he had and that included Antonia and Carol.

He did not know how much he meant to _her_ though. Scratching that immature thought, he sought the more rational. He reasoned that Alyssa had a list of attendees to this cocktail party. Perhaps she did and decided to come along anyway? To put the personal aside to make room for the professional? Did it even _matter_ to her?

Those questions always came back. _Maybe it does matter. Maybe she's trying to pick up where she left off._

It would not be like Alyssa though. After her husband's tragic death in the hands of Admiral Uriah and his conspirators, she had put a lot of her past aside and move on. She settled herself and Ryder (and eventually Alice) where Starfleet ordered her and continued working as she always did, as far as Kirk was aware. Even he was not unaware of how Synprilox crumbled under an unknown enemy attack and eventually was destroyed. Millions who did not escape to the refugee planet, Keplar III, were killed, the chancellor included.

Alyssa was a survivor. Her coming back from her Synprilox exile meant a few things, most of them complicated and annoying though. However, now did not seem the best time to explore those avenues. As everyone settled in their respective seats (indicated via digitalized screens at each place) and the chamber president in attendance called for order, Kirk found himself next to persons of importance (Admirals Cartwright and Nogura included) and thought that utterly convenient…and boring.

After the introductions, the session began in earnest. The admiral stated his name and purpose for the record and continued to listen to the others repeat the activity. In the background, as Alyssa quietly instructed her men to surround the outside of the room, its hallways and in and out of the rest of the building, she sent out a sense of calm Kirk had not felt in years. When her insecurities were to one side, Alyssa conveyed an aura of strength and peace. This also kept all parties from each other's throats.

Aside from the both factions, Alyssa didn't seem to notice Kirk sitting there, glancing at her here and there to study her in an attempt to remain subtle. Her job was much more imperative to her, especially when a race so remote such as the Thyrians were in attendance. If nobody had any information about a species, it is always the cautious person that takes as many reasonable security measures as they could.

Beside her suspicious manner, Kirk supposed that Alyssa had grown older, but she had been like that since her husband died. Her black hair was tied in a bun, streaked with larger stripes of white than that shocking night years in Maine before. Her hazel eyes were red-rimmed, tired from the sleepless nights and the worry, but they remained as alert as ever. Even her willowy figure was slow and elderly, her hands shaking once in a while. The joints visible with riddled with arthritis, rendering them swollen and almost unusable.

Kirk was hurt by the depth of these changes, although he should have expected it. He kept tabs on her if he dared to pull the bandage from the wound, but feigned indifference when someone inquired about his sudden attentiveness. There wasn't too much he knew in the years they kept apart anyway. Alyssa had been stationed on Synprilox and sometimes Keplar III and only arrived back at Earth the year before and had braved much worse than illness.

Caught in his daydreaming, Kirk's mind drifted back to the task at hand. Stifling yet another yawn, he pushed himself to finish the session before silencing his screams about unfairly being promoted. He reminded himself that there was cadet training after this diplomatic nightmare. The _Enterprise_ was slated for another refitting and will serve well for the newest generation.

It was some hours later before a break was called out. Nothing much had been accomplished other than overviews, planetary policies and rules and maybe an interjection here and there about personal gains and prisoners. It bored Kirk to no end. He sighed softly at its end, stretching his limbs in his chair as the others filed out and asked about lunch. Food was not on the admiral's mind. It focused on the woman who remained behind and presently eyed him with quiet inquisitiveness and surprise.

Riley was soon back with Kirk, lending him a hand to stand. "I believe that a meeting is in order, Sir," he said, directing him towards the frozen figure of the security officer. They met with Alyssa. "As you probably know, this is Captain Alyssa Elma, head of security for Starfleet."

"Captain." Kirk held out his hand for her to shake. She took it, her grip weak and weary, but still full of the same electric shock. He felt the deep scars too, full of years of deep experience and pain. "I have heard much about you supposedly."

"I hope it's all good, Admiral," Alyssa replied shyly. Her body language indicated that she wanted to be anywhere but her current position. "Rumors are a horrible thing. You find out more about yourself that way."

Kirk smiled despite himself. He hoped the familiarity wasn't too conspicuous. "Even so, I am glad you're here for this conference. Keep us safe, Captain."

"I would do everything in my power to. I will die if it meant saving someone."

"Says many an officer. Again, thank you for being here, Captain. We'll talk more later. I would love to see your children as well, especially your daughter."

Kirk released his hand from hers and departed with Riley. He didn't look back to see her reaction, pretending not to care, and followed his companion down a corridor into his private office, a place of many memories and all of them as fleeting as a living mirage. It seemed a fair trade for a man who spent his life in the service and had efficaciously navigated through galaxies and all sorts of alien races. Even with the images of the past rushing past him, it was the sort of quiet he craved.

Riley considered himself dismissed once the admiral waved him away. When the doors swished shut, Kirk sat back in his comfortable desk chair and thought. Suddenly, all of the reminiscences overwhelmed him without control. He tried chasing them away with some alcohol provided for him on a table behind him.

Two tall glasses of ale were not helping. Instead, it only allowed him to dream of that day over seventeen years ago, when he was assigned to survey the planet as a lowly captain attempting to make a difference in that center chair. Five years later, he was back, on Lori Ciana's command, and slowly realizing how corrupt the system was and how the Federation treated Synprilox so differently.

After those successful missions on Synprilox, he had been praised as an ambassador of sorts and the most sought-after officer in Starfleet. Dogged as an admiral, he had been named a savior of sorts, deemed to be a messiah efficaciously to the people of Synprilox, and a peacekeeper to the refugees of Keplar III. However, he could not share this glory with the woman who made him see the light. She was kept in the darkness, humbled by her position and the poverty she sought to reverse.

 _Oh, Alyssa, what have we done?_

Kirk only wished she knew. Alyssa could offer him nothing. He had none too.

~00~

 _Admiral Lori Ciana had insisted that he go. Originally, Kirk did not want to. When she told him in the conference room that Synprilox was his first solo mission as an admiral, Kirk balked. He waited until Admiral Nogura was out of earshot before he left with Lori._

 _Then, he argued with her all the way from the conference room to their mutual office at the Federation Headquarters, Riley behind them snickering (for what reason, Kirk could not fathom). He explained to her why he did not feel comfortable being transported back to Synprilox for a five-month inspection tour after his promotion since he wasn't qualified for this big of a position. It wasn't even a year since his five-year mission ended. Losing the_ Enterprise _was still a sore spot._

 _In addition, Lori had not held up her end of their bargain yet. He had not regained command of the ship he loved so much and had to watch as it was refitted. Captain William Decker held the reins currently, a man ready for his own command and envied, namely Kirk himself (and he admitted to Decker freely). It was not quite fair, he mused as he continued his argument to Lori. He missed being on the bridge, directing the people beneath him and exploring places nobody had ever imagined. Going back to Synprilox was hardly a balm and holding destiny in his hands._

 _Not to mention, teaching diplomacy to someone who had no tact and saw everything in black and white was frustrating, especially since they lived together and saw each other daily (and that did not consider Riley next door). That alone was Kirk's downfall. He was fascinated in many ways with his newest lady friend, but somehow could not make the chemistry work right. Lori had the ability to learn, except that she absolutely wanted everyone to see things her way without compromising to the advantage of both sides._

 _This instance was one of them. Love was another story and not on his end anyway. Lori was pretty pushy and Kirk played along._

Serves me right for accepting the position.

" _But it's not some desk assignment, Jim," Lori insisted after hearing his dispute. She ordered the office shut, leaving Riley outside in the corridor. "It's also a chance for you to use your power of persuasion. Jim,_ please _. The chancellor knows you personally and has requested your presence. She wouldn't accept any other person to examine Synprilox and how the treaty is standing. You stand between her and disaster."_

" _I am indisposed," Kirk announced, taking Lori's seat and twirling it in an immature manner. "You have me up to my damned neck in paperwork. This would push it back some weeks, maybe months."_

" _So you say." Lori pushed her black hair to one side. "I can catch you up."_

" _How would you know where my things are?"_

" _We share an office. I also have Riley. He has your desk memorized inside and out."_

 _And the housework?"_

" _I can employ someone else. You don't need to worry about it."_

 _Kirk snorted. That was a ridiculous notion, but he kept that opinion to himself. Lori was more than capable of handling their mutual home and not allowing the cares of Starfleet into their personal lives. She chose not to when her work took her to exciting places, sweet promotions and strange people. She wasn't a slob really, but she was ambitious. The little things in life did not take priority, cleaning being one of them._

" _Regardless,_ Admiral _, you've made my days pretty booked." Kirk smiled mischievously, crossing his arms as he ceased fidgeting. "Taking a ship out to the Gamma XVII quadrant is a little tricky, especially crossing past the Zulu. It took some effort to get there the initial round."_

" _This is why I have someone who is tagging along and making sure you don't get into trouble." Lori decided that two could play at this game. "I am pretty sure your old friend Doctor McCoy would love the trip, especially being beamed down."_

" _Why him? He's in retirement." Kirk was also sure the good doctor would stay that way if given the choice._

" _Civilian or in Starfleet, he's still a valuable player. The chancellor liked him enough."_

" _Not him, Lori. Nobody is going to be able to find him and I don't want him grouching all the way there and back. I couldn't stand it."_

" _Ok, what about Commander Scott?"_

" _I can take him. He's a good friend, the perfect engineer and can get anyone out of trouble, even on shore leave."_

" _Fine. Commander Scott it is. Now, back to McCoy…"_

" _Leave him alone, Lori." Kirk rubbed his tired eyes, sighing. He was exasperated about the sore topic of McCoy and did not want to think about their last meeting and the loss of Dr. Keridwen Llewellyn. "He's been waiting for a life free of regulations and rules. He only joined to get away from his ex-wife, Jocelyn. He didn't have custody of his daughter."_

" _We are not here to escape personal issues."_

" _Tell that to a judge then. McCoy had to prove to Starfleet that he was not the abusive lush Jocelyn claimed he was. That alone was difficult."_

" _I'm sure he had enough of seeing officials at court when his separation went through."_

 _Kirk felt he was at an impasse, stung by Lori's obvious professional callousness. He was sparring with her, going around and around until they were both tired of the dead horse they kicked. There was no true winner, only headaches that increased in intensity, and this was one of them. Lori was resentful of the people he used to serve with. She alone wanted his time and his life to be with her and McCoy was the one person she disliked. After calling her a witch and declaring her insane for helping to promote Kirk, Lori immediately put him in her doghouse._

" _When am I leaving?" Kirk accepted his fate, anxious to get a hold on his engineering friend and have a good drink. No doubt that Scotty would be excited about departing from Earth life, but never away from the_ Enterprise _. He would be lamenting about the beloved ship. "I need time to pack."_

" _How does the day after tomorrow sound?" Lori wrapped her arms from behind Kirk and leaned in for the final kill. "I mean, it's a long way to Synprilox and they'll be dinners on starbases on the way. You'll be the celebrated admiral. Furthermore, you'll have someone who will meet up with you upon arrival and she'll keep you pretty distracted. She'll also be housing you for the duration of your inspection."_

"She _? Who is it?"_

" _Lieutenant Commander Alyssa Elma, your former security officer."_

* * *

 **The lyrics above are from the OAR song "Shattered".**


	2. Initial Encounters

It was a tiresome position, now being the ultimate commander of Starfleet's security officers. One had to study tactics, try every which way to enter and exit buildings and anticipate every move from everyone (requiring a study of all alien races, criminals and escapees and more than basic psychology). It was mandatory to anticipate what your friend or foe would think, have a heightened sense of awareness, remain paranoid over nothing and constantly watching one's back. It also did not allow much in the way for sleep and selfishness because one's mind always went to every possibility, suspecting that anything could happen.

Alyssa tossed and turned in her bed. It was comfortable and firm (just the way she liked it), but it did not offer her the peace of mind she craved this night. Especially after today, she would find none, shocked to the core that her professional career was now colliding with her personal. She was shocked to the core and sought control above all other things. Her training, from her years with her husband and those in Starfleet, could not have foreseen this unexpected turn of events.

She actually did not know that Kirk was going to be a guest amongst the symposium. She was not given a list of attendees. She was only informed by Starfleet that important personnel were going to be there and that she better do a good job. The delicate matter concerning the Thyrians was a thin line that the Federation did not want to cross and any incidents with security were not to be tolerated. It would mean war.

Her job description was always pretty simple, even before she was assigned and promoted as the new head of Starfleet's security by Admiral Nogura. Before the new cadets arrived for training next week and while the conference was in session, she was ordered to protect all parties involved and to take out as many intruders as she can. Cartwright also told her that she was to protect all Starfleet and current Federation personnel above all. The Thyrians were rumored to be murderous, he added.

Kirk was her chief concern though. Alyssa chanced no glance at him and chose to avoid him at all costs, focusing on her work instead. Once she had shed that coat and calmed herself into a soothing meditation (with hopes of being left alone with her men and thoughts of training her cadets later), Kevin Riley had jumped on her and reintroduced her to the admiral. She wasn't quite off-guard and expected it from the aide. The meeting was cordial and didn't betray their former relationship. However, it was eyebrow-raising to hear the admiral say that he wanted to see the children, especially Alice.

Ali, as her daughter was more commonly called, was sleeping in the next room and exhausted by the day's events. She, unlike her mother, was excited about the new assignment, and refused to let her position prevent her from nosing around. Although originally homeschooled by the Synprilox nursemaid that Alyssa employed over a dozen years ago on the suggestion of the chancellor (the ever-faithful Magda), Ali always found opportunities to check out all of the places Alyssa had worked in and investigate every culture and people. This time, stuck as she was in the daycare and with Magda and some other tutors furthering her studies, she found other ways to entertain herself.

This time, Ali was studying who was present at the meetings with the Thyrians, what impact they had being in San Francisco and a logical sequence of events that would conclude it. Alyssa learned that her daughter did not like the new race (she did not like too many, the security officer found) and that was because little information about them was discovered. That alone was disconcerting to the young girl. All and all though, Ali was able to piece together the whole picture and give Alyssa the end result, albeit it was a little vague.

It was not pretty either. Earlier at suppertime, Ali predicted that there was going to be a force that interrupts the conference, but could not tell who, what and how. She informed Alyssa and Magda that she needed more material about all of the races that made up the Federation and their history and how they are connected to each other. She would be able to deduce a culprit in no time flat and before her brother showed up from his Academy graduation too.

"Why are you so confident it would be before Ryder shows up?" Alyssa smiled. Her daughter was no better than her son. The two were so cocky and would be competing with each other minutes after the older one's entry. "Ryder is coming in two days."

"I want to impress him and I always succeed at it," Ali replied confidentially, rolling her eyes at her mother. "Duh!"

"With knowledge comes power," Magda remind Ali. She, of all people, would remember this well. It was a prime lesson on Synprilox. "Power can corrupt absolutely."

"Corrupt myself or Ryder? I don't think so, Magda. We use it for the greater good."

"Ali, using knowledge against your brother is not the point. Sometimes, the less you know, the better off you'll be."

"I disagree, but I digress. Mom, what do you think?"

Alyssa had been drifting down memory lane at that point and was not paying attention to the last bit of the conversation. Her fork made inane circles on her plate and nothing had been eaten. She glanced at Ali in a moment of dumb silence before realizing that she was being spoken to. By then, Ali had forgotten that she directed the talk at her mother and began chatting with Magda once more. This allowed Alyssa a loophole to excuse herself and skip the meal. Magda would not be pleased (she was as protective of Alyssa as she was with the children), but that was of no consequence to the security officer. She scooped the leftovers back into the pot and disappeared into her room for the remainder of the evening.

The incident also left too much room for brooding, which lasted long after Ali and Magda went to sleep. Resigned, Alyssa decided that sleep was beyond her. She got up, dressing back into uniform and checking on the rest of her household. She found them both asleep. Deeming them free of all harm, she left her apartment, walking the long blocks to her destination.

The Federation Headquarters, situated near the ancient (and much rebuilt) bright red Golden Gate Bridge, loomed ahead fifteen minutes away from her off-base Starfleet residence. Alyssa verified her identity through the entranceway computer and clicked her heels through the echoing chambers that sounded more haunting than lonesome. Few lights were on, indicating busy workers (or officers keeping away from their spouses and other loved ones), but that was nothing unusual. She inanely met with a few people from her unit, heard their reports, and executed the usual salutes. Then, she followed a pathway to the dimmest office light and rang the bell for permission to come in. She knew there would be an inhabitant inside.

Immediately the door opened for her admission and then closed behind her. She stared at the man behind the desk, writing his reports on the tablet before him. He contemplated pulling out an old keyboard for typing purposes instead of using the stylus and declined that, instead greeting his visitor with eyes that were more sad than hurt.

"Can an old friend sit?" Alyssa asked quietly. She was not ready to cut to the heart of the matter, hoping that small talk would due. It would certainly be the best conversation starter.

Kirk waved his hand, putting the pen down and rubbing his sore hand. "Sit. Drink?"

"Not tonight," she said. She noticed that Kirk did not look at her yet. She sat down before his desk. "I am trying to remain sober."

"Ahh, well, I never knew you to be a heavy drinker."

"Well, I used to be. It was a long, long time, in a galaxy far, far away…"

"You know, I don't think I ever told you that your cultural references from the twentieth century were amusing. They never ceased to amaze me."

"You should study them sometime, Jim. You can learn something new about the age I came from."

"I think I learned enough, thank you."

Words choked in Alyssa's throat. When had their relationship come down to this kind of bitterness? When they no longer could laugh at the silliest things they remembered from their childhoods? They were older, much wiser and maybe a little rusty when it came to friendship. Their loneliness had been their downfall and their careers the focal point of their lives. Other than her children, Alyssa had spent her time protecting people she never liked and risking her own skin to ensure smooth diplomatic assemblies.

And Kirk? Other than regaining his starship time and again, he hadn't done much other than settle for desk duty and a brief retirement with a cabin and another woman and no children. That was a tough blow, even to one who had been promised much more than just signing documents, conducting inspections and sitting in boring circles. Lori Ciana had trapped Kirk into a duty he no longer appreciated and it aged him. Alyssa recalled him in the prime of his life in that captain's chair – alive, free and young – and saw the man before her now as the opposite of that _Enterprise_ captain.

 _What had happened? What have I done?_

Alyssa blamed herself partially for Kirk's spiral downward. She was not there when the promotion happened, far away as she was in Synprilox, but she complicated his life forever afterward. She would always be the thorn in his side, constantly reminding him that there was always something between them…and possibly still was. She could not tell yet. She was more guarded than anything else and did not want to make the wrong move. However, the spark inside of her remained fluttering.

"What brings you here, Alyssa?" Kirk folded his hands together like he was praying, although Alyssa never knew him to be religious.

"Curious, I suppose," she answered. She rubbed her sore hands. "I wanted to know how you were doing…how you were feeling…"

Kirk wanted to confess everything all at once to Alyssa. There had been a gap of over a decade they were apart and by their own choice and the time closed in on him. It wasn't that he hated her. Indeed, he was trying to keep his emotions reined in as logically as he could. He wanted to hold her in his arms, stroke her black and white hair and tell her that everything was fine and that he still cared. Instead, he remained a brick wall. He had to in order to survive the emotional wave.

"No, what brought you back to Earth?" Kirk meant it the other way, but he needed to change the topic. He kept his lips pursed tightly to keep from talking more than he should.

"After the planet's total destruction, I had to accept a new position." Alyssa's voice was small. She did not want to recount how Synprilox was attacked and its underwater world fractured beyond repair. "I had nowhere else to go and Nogura found my work exceptional and the position perfect. They kept me at arm's length from Earth for so long that I had forgotten what it was like to be…well, _home_. I suggested it since I did not want to go back to another ship. They welcomed the idea and stationed me in Louisiana until recent events brought me here as head of security. I managed to get a place of my own and am contemplating sending Ali to an actual school. Poor Magda is getting quite cross with her."

" _Ali_?"

"Alice. Ali what is she prefers to be called. Ryder nicknamed her because he couldn't pronounce her name. Don't you remember?"

"Vaguely. In any case, Alyssa, I don't think it's a good idea to send Ali off to another school when the Federation can suit her fine. Another school might prepare her for a Federation career she might not want. Here, she can at least pick and choose and understand what we're here for. It's not propaganda."

"Why do you say that? They will suit her just fine and might have more skills to handle her intellect. I don't want her going into the Federation or Starfleet unless she wants to."

Kirk wanted to spit out a million reasons. He loved the children more than he'll admit and wanted the best for them. He also didn't want to separate the family more and most certainly wanted Alyssa nearby. Her presence before him was slowly becoming a respite, even if their stiff demeanors prevented them from touching each other. The way things were now would always keep him from moving on to another assignment, to erase away the horrible partings and bitter words. He only had to recall Antonia and the way she cried over his decision to return to Starfleet that made him wish that Alyssa would stay with him.

He observed her without discrimination, his eyes drawn to movement. He noted that her hand twitched at her side. She ached to reach out and comfort him, but could not with so many people watching and the computers recording their every move. All the same, after eleven years, it would not have been the best choice to be so bold. Decorum demanded them to be professional, especially in the face of personal tragedy.

 _She misses me too. Dammit. Dammit!_

"I don't know." Kirk wasn't going to lie and decided that the most noncommittal answer was the best. He sighed, thinking that he didn't need the comfort after all because he had been without for so long. "She's your daughter. You should make the choice for her."

"I'm afraid she'll be a misfit anywhere she goes, although she has the mouth to get her in and out of trouble. You should listen to her, Jim. She's great." Alyssa grinned, wishing her anxious worries about Ali would drift away. Being the proud mother for a moment was the best mask. "She already has this conference mapped out. A scary prospect, I believe. I don't want to think it would end negatively. The Thyrians have been known to have their own agenda. It's suspicious that they suggested meeting here."

"They're a tough set with many difficulties," Kirk confirmed. "I wouldn't want the conference to end the way your daughter suggested either. I was hoping it would end on a positive note."

Alyssa felt that there was nothing more to contribute to their meeting. The interview was over. She stood up gently, brushing her skirt free of imaginary dirt, and smiled at Kirk wanly. He copied her, putting his hands behind his back and nodding his permission to leave. She did, but before the office could close shut behind her, the admiral called her back.

Their privacy was better protected when Alyssa faced him. "Yes?"

Kirk was in front of her in seconds, his hands resting on her shoulders. He leaned in and kissed her quickly on the lips, hoping that she would not mind. She didn't and returned it eagerly, wishing that more would pass between them. By the time they had mutually decided to part with sore lips, their bodies hungered for something else. It was a dimension that they dared not reach for and could not afford to. They separated completely, fingers lingering before hiding behind their intentions against the red fabric sides.

"I love you still," Kirk blurted out without deliberating.

Alyssa blinked once like she was struck hard and that it did not faze her. Again, words were hard to form, but when they did, she could only go back to her old movie references from the past. "I know, Jim. I know."

~00~

 _It wasn't usually a long journey from one planet to another, but this one cut the cake. While the_ USS Juniper _was a starship that would have beaten the_ Enterprise _in speed, it still would not have avoided the parties and other obstacles ahead. Instead of taking a few days to drift to the Gramma XVII sector and attach to a space station above Synprilox, it took two_ weeks _. In-between stopping at several docks to inspect, dealing with frivolous dinners and even running into some unexpected guests (just as Lori promised), it was quite the trip. Even Scotty, isolated as he was down in Engineering, commented loudly about it. He had to dress up and actually behave himself._

 _However, his worst complaint had been that they were trapped inside a "bucket o' bolts" that could hardly navigate the traps, but that was beside the point. Kirk believed that any ship that was not the_ Enterprise _would bear that name from Scotty. But that was not the engineer's only complaint. Being away from the_ Enterprise _was worse. The refitting was stagnant and Scotty loathed to work on a ship he was not overseeing._

 _On the other hand, the admiral could not complain, especially about his quarters. Apart from being away until late at night and not commanding the bridge (his other comfort since it brought back bitter memories), they were relaxing. It was very much needed after a long day. It brought solitude and sometimes companionship when Scotty was not busy._

 _Finally, Synprilox loomed below them, its grey waters murky even as life glowed underneath the waves in the protective sphere. It had been almost six years since Kirk stepped foot in the world where political suicide was the main game and the advisors controlled their chancellors and the propaganda easily. After the defeat of their adversaries, the return with Commander Elma and her son Ryder and adding Synprilox to the Federation, it was a quick and closed deal. In the aftermath of her decisions within Starfleet and the meetings with Admiral Nogura, the commander was reassigned as part of a security team heading the Federation presence in Synprilox and never seen again._

 _McCoy had kept in touch with Alyssa Elma often enough. He was closer to her and constantly making a call to her when the chance arose. He never talked about her much unless someone asked. He did let out tidbits here and there to Kirk during meals in the cafeteria though, to keep her memory alive. After grumbling about the restrictions on his food card (which McCoy would gloat openly about), Kirk would listen to the doctor recount stories about its local Starfleet resident and Synprilox's ever-changing social and political atmosphere._

 _It was nothing out of the ordinary, Kirk remembered as he packed his luggage when the announcement of arrival came. The brief mentions of his former security officer reminded him of the adventure they had undergone and the planet they left behind in her care. It also taught him to never underestimate a crew member again and to trust his initial instincts. It would be easy to forget a face as he did, but it was a lesson every starship captain should learn. Every person has a place on the ship and skills needed to keep it functional. The resourcefulness of each should be taken into consideration at all times._

 _After docking, Kirk was called to the Transporter Room. He took his bags and took off, passing the engineer near a turbolift. Scotty opted to stay behind on the_ Juniper _, muttering all the while about how the engines were overheated and smoking and that he had no time to waste. It amused the admiral to no end. He smiled at Scotty, saluting the proper farewell and preparing for the five-month voyage below. Upon his placement on the pad, the familiar sensation of beaming enveloped him and sent him down._

 _As soon as Kirk and his small landing party of two appeared in almost the same spot as he had on his initial mission, they were immediately escorted to the doors by the leader's guards, who had been ready for their arrival. The populace around them was cold and distant and kept to one side, mumbling incomprehensible words that worried the admiral. While apprehensive of this, Kirk appreciated the security efforts, taking it in stride as the group walked with them to the marble palace ahead and introduced them. Chancellor Amelia Synprilox, now on her second term and the first to survive her planet's typical political suicide, greeted them cordially at the top of the stairs and began a long speech about the Federation's wonderful friendship._

 _Bored (especially with the Freedom Riders chiming in here and there), Kirk did not pay attention to the words and nodded every once in a while, to indicate he was listening. He executed the perfect bow when the time was right, said his greeting, and allowed his hosts to escort him inside. All the while, his thoughts ran back to the people outside. They were not so happy to see him and he wondered why._

 _That would have to wait. Kirk shook his head free of the reception and focused on his mission. In the hallways his eyes soon landed on the beautiful woman who was giving orders to some tan-shirted Starfleet officers. She was so familiar and yet so different all at once, mature and fine-tuned. Her black hair had been cropped up to her shoulders in a boyish manner. Her hazel eyes demanded respect in her imposing position, but were also darting often to check for the diaphanous details around her. Her posture was stiff and unfeeling, her face chiseled into stone._

 _This woman, so much changed from the girl from Kirk's yesteryear, had no room for shenanigans. She was serious. Nothing was going to stand in the way of her duty._

 _Amelia Synprilox noted that Kirk was staring at her and nudged him discreetly, causing him to cease. He heeded this gesture. The way Alyssa worked was something that did not merit that his visit be transformed into a circus show. He was supposed to be on display too, but in a different way than this security officer. He would need to wait for her acknowledgement before moving onto the nitty gritty details of a more personal nature._

 _When Alyssa finished instructing her subordinates and ensured that nothing was amiss, she turned to them and saluted him, the chancellor and her advisors and the others in the party. "Admiral, Chancellor, gentlemen."_

 _The admiral nodded. "Commander."_

 _Amelia Synprilox grinned warmly as a lover would do. "Alyssa, so grave today?"_

 _While returning the glance at the admiral awkwardly, Alyssa uttered something softly about some disturbances and how they were handling it, excuses that did not seem relevant to the issue at hand. Her face turned red explaining. Her eyes checked with Kirk's every few seconds. She was surely nervous, but kept her composure._

 _Kirk paid no heed to the words. He was more interested in the way Alyssa ticked because of the stories McCoy told. She transformed from the mysterious woman and desperate mother to a tougher security officer and serious secret keeper. Granted, she was pretty stern stuff under his command. However, she had morphed into a developed, functioning officer of Starfleet that assimilated into the role assigned to her and had taken command without complaint and with ease._

 _Certainly, he made an impression on her too, then and now. In order to draw Admiral Uriah out, he had gone out to a bar with her. Even though it wasn't even a day after her husband was killed, Alyssa fell right into the role…and into Kirk's arms. Had the situation not been serious and the stakes so high, Kirk would have easily pulled her aside and asked her out for another drink and a good conversation._

 _When Kirk snapped out of his daydream, Alyssa had disappeared like she had not existed. His welcoming committee continued on and morphed into a newly-announced tour that the chancellor and the Freedom Riders insisted he endure. Kirk wanted to sigh, to scream out that he had enough of the formalities, but smiled anyway and accepted the kind formalities. He followed his numerous hosts, bickering amongst each other about the palace history and recent developments, and kept a diplomatic stance through it all._

 _It was going to be a long five months…and Lori was going to pay for it. Kirk did not appreciate being sent into a hotbed of nails scrapping against a chalkboard. His only solace already was a ghost._

 _However, first's things first – getting through the boring meetings and inspections. There was a light at the end of that tunnel. Soon enough, he'll be with Alyssa and reacquaint himself with her. Five months was long enough to get to know someone. Alyssa was surely an enigma waiting to be opened. Kirk was eager to resume the game._


	3. Mysteries

The next morning, Thyrian attitudes change, which did not bring much to the table. After some arguments, the Thyrians claimed that they needed time alone to reflect what was discussed and declared a two-day recess. This annoyed the Federation delegates, but they obliged the request to keep the peace, even though it gave way to rumors. With a grateful bow, the Thyrians filed out.

Some in the Federation and Starfleet parties whispered in the hallways that it gave them time to think of new strategies to have the upper hand. Other mentioned that they had to attend to their harems. Better yet, the Thyrians had a strategy to go behind the Federation's back and enact their battle plans. Nonetheless, the gossip grew juicier as the daylight brighten. Cartwright easily stomped down anything he heard and dismissed the scuttlebutt through memos.

This left Kirk happily alone with his thoughts and back in his office, breakfast eaten and the gossip behind him. It was almost a relief to have the day to himself, but it also gave him the opportunity to ponder many more opportunities. He sat at his desk and rubbed his tired eyes. He had not slept. Seeing Alyssa before dawn had unnerved him. He had never felt so helpless in his life, especially for the only woman he truly loved.

Needing to redirect his mind elsewhere, Kirk decided to put this unusual spell to good use. Not knowing much of the situation with the Thyrians other than they had resisted Federation membership for decades (and that was from initial research), he commanded his computer and started examining from another angle. While Riley worked around him and begged for some paperwork to be signed (and all of it about inspections next month or the month after), the admiral concentrated his efforts on his research and constantly waved him away as the screen decorated his eyes with information he hardly found useful.

There was little information. The planet Thyria, settled thousands of years ago by unknown colonists, had not been identified by any sources until about twenty years ago. Even then, nobody had wanted to extend a hand in friendship and neither did the Thyrians. Each time a ship passed by, they were firing at it and none of it was traceable. Much like Talos IV, it had been a Starfleet order to avoid the planet at all costs or to face the death penalty. However, unlike the illusionists, the Thyrians kept to themselves – culture, politics and all – and away from Federation eyes. There reasons were stated yet, but conspiracies were always rampant.

It wasn't until two years ago that the Thyrians communicated and offered an olive branch. The Federation was hesitant at first and took precautions. Because of this and the lack of seriousness, it took until now for everyone to agree where to meet, who was coming and what was supposed to be discussed. It was long drawn-out and very much a pain in the ass, Kirk found.

Otherwise, Kirk found no other information was provided except for their physical appearances and some sort of social class system. The alien race was characterized by their humanoid body and different colored skin (ranging from a light to dark blue or green) and greasy onyx black hair. Depending on the skin color is what career is offered, salaries and promotions and what kind of housing is given. Kirk found it practically racist.

Kirk followed as many links as he could before exhaustion settled. In the afternoon, his eyes started watering and his stomach was growling. He had not risen from his seat since early morning and was soon seeing two screens instead of one. As he rubbed them again and sighed, he heard the bell ring outside. He didn't bother answering, allowing the security device outside to scan the person. When McCoy's name popped up, Kirk had the door unlocked. He swore under his breath.

"Haven't you heard of stretching? Walking around? Getting away from that damned death contraption?" McCoy was visibly annoyed. "I've been trying to get in touch with you since last night. Where the hell have you been?"

"Kicking myself in the ass," Kirk replied. "Anything else?"

McCoy studied him for a moment. "You saw Alyssa, didn't you?"

"Twice yesterday. Once at the conference and the last here, late last night."

"She talk to you yet?"

"Last night, she came here. Earlier, Riley, well…he pushed me towards her after the initial meeting." Kirk smirked, remembering their last farewell kiss, and soon hid behind a stoic stance.

McCoy swore, finding a seat before the desk like a subordinate. "You _think_ someone higher up knows something you don't?"

"If they did, someone would have said something by now. I doubt anyone will care after so much time except for maybe Lance Cartwright. What difference does an incident from eleven and twelve years ago make? The relationship is over, Bones."

"Well, she's here now. And it should make a hell of a difference because she has value to more than just you. The relationship isn't over, Jim. But she has another she's dealing with. Alyssa is also the best at what she does, damn you. That's why Starfleet transferred her here."

"What are you talking about, Doctor? Starfleet is not a marriage."

"A career is a marriage and you damned well now it. Alyssa was originally stationed in Louisiana. It would have given her space between Starfleet and Synprilox. Promotion came through without her consent."

"Doctor, I'm jealous. Alyssa been communicating with you more than her former commanding officer?"

"No. I've been visiting her since last month. She moved to San Francisco to be near her son and work this new-fangled conference. Starfleet also threatened to drum her out dishonorably if she did not comply."

"What a deal."

"You're telling me! Alyssa is pretty distraught and not thinking clearly. That will endanger your sued peace. I offered to send her a referral for a vacation, but she declined. Told me I was too close to her and Starfleet will not accept it."

"She's doing her job, Bones. You can't blame her for following orders and rising through the chain."

"Jim, you don't understand. Now, how secure are we in this office?"

Kirk rolled his eyes. He wasn't getting anywhere with this conversation. "Usual security. Now, what do you mean? What am I supposed to understand?"

McCoy leaned forward, ready to reveal some secret. "Don't you remember your inspection tour, Admiral? Or does forgetting about Synprilox's problems hide your past? In the years you two decided to call it quits, Alyssa has been infected with so much radiation that it's slowly killing her. She's undergoing treatments, but that can go so far. She's slowing down, Jim."

" _That's_ your big mystery?" Kirk was annoyed that something as trivial as radiation poisoning was affecting Alyssa's work. He dimly recalled it, but had not realized it progressed so far. "And you suggest that she quit her job?"

"I suggested a desk job like you," McCoy replied carefully to continue his point. An undertone of pessimism remained. "Being an aide or some kind of so-called paper pusher would be ideal for her before her retirement. Even heading a ship and hardly lifting a finger would be ideal. Running around like a cadet? _Please_ , Jim. She isn't twenty-three years old anymore. She's forty. Another twenty years and she'll possibly enjoy years with her grandchildren if it's allowed to her. She keeps going the rate she is, she'll be dead in less than five years."

The admiral's blood turned cold. He had not realized how far the illness had developed and the events that led to its destruction. "What happened?"

"When Synprilox had been battling for independence back in the day, the Federation had to pull officers in and out faster than I put socks on," McCoy explained. He thought Kirk knew, but dismissed it since the admiral distanced himself from Alyssa and Synprilox. "Rebels who liked Mycoff decided to defend the family name and held all those advisors hostage while under attack. The chancellor was who-the-hell-knows where. I will let your imagination run on what the Federation ordered."

"Did Synprilox call for help? Did anybody answer?"

"Official accounts say yes. People like me have their suspicions."

It was the most neutral answer McCoy could give. Kirk nodded. "I take it Starfleet wanted Alyssa to stay?"

"She still fought to leave, Jim. No doubt about it. After six years, she got her way and moved to Earth. It was a long fight. She protected Starfleet party for far too long."

"I would assume it was the legitimate government and not the rebels."

"God, I can't believe I'm gossiping about a woman like a crone."

"You'll be one if you don't stop complaining. Now, continue. I'd like this briefing to be finished."

"Is that an order?"

"I can make it one if you wish."

" _Admirals_."

"Doctors can be just as difficult. Now, please, I'd like to hear the rest of the story."

McCoy never liked talking a lot about Alyssa. She was a special friend and always had his back when it was needed. Like few others, she also never hesitated in telling him the truth if he was an asshole (usually when he was drunk). But she was a secretive person. There were instances where she never revealed the whole story and that aggravated McCoy. It took a lot to get this last story from her.

On the other hand, Alyssa did not care about what Starfleet did to her. The wrongs of the past were righted and she was content being a security officer. Whether it was on a ship or on a planet, she was happy stalking her domain and reporting back to her superiors. However, when the Synprilox civil wars started, she had no choice but to remain behind and take control and to protect her children and her charges. That alone earned some merit from Starfleet, but it wasn't enough to give her power over her own destiny except a promotion to captain and a new position.

McCoy saw through the façade. Starfleet was once more trying to sweep their mistakes under a rug and put Alyssa in a position where they feel is convenient, although giving her so much responsibility that she almost could not shoulder it. After all, being the tool of their propaganda department was for the best anyway, he mused sarcastically. Alyssa Elma had been labeled a hero despite what happened to Synprilox.

"That planet that was shooting at them went into overtime," McCoy continued, trying to get off Alyssa's tail, "and they started throwing more than just radiation at Synprilox. It was a full-scale war. Because of how weak Synprilox was, there was no defense. Federation ships could not fight something they cannot see."

"I see." Kirk tapped his fingers against each other impatiently. He knew McCoy was protecting Alyssa and waited for the tale to end.

The doctor was oddly quiet. "Alyssa took control of the weapons console and directed ships if she couldn't. She remained at her post until she was flagged for help. That was after she took more hits. The other planet there…they used unorthodox methods to attack Synprilox."

"And that was what destroyed it?"

"I would assume so. I'm a doctor, Jim, not a strategist. I'll leave that to you."

The pieces of this puzzle were beginning to fit together. It did not make Kirk any better though. His mind raced. He was inspired to join Starfleet because of his father in order to find structure and adventure in his life. However, he was finding once more that the institution was literally trying to hide its misdeeds under any pretext and forgetting about it. It hurt him to think that what he stood for and everything that he had to represent was just a masquerade.

 _Corruption is everywhere._

"Do you have a report about Synprilox's wars?" he asked McCoy.

The doctor shrugged his shoulders. "I wouldn't know where to start since official reports are bullshit."

Kirk agreed, understanding that a sanctioned series of events would not give him the information he craved. "Any way you can get Alyssa to skip her duties today? I know she's supposed to be walking the perimeter today."

"Well, I have _some_ magic up my sleeve, but not a lot. If what I think is happening, then Starfleet might just drum _me_ out for interfering."

"I'll take care of that. You get her off of her feet. I think we have some other business to conduct, just the three of us."

McCoy grinned. "If this is what I think it is, you've got some cards even I'm not sure. Just don't tell me until the end, will you? I don't want that ace of spades."

~00~

 _Walking through the green-marbled palace, Kirk could not remember the pleasantries that followed his tour. He hardly paid attention anyway and only nodded here and there. Everyone seemed too fake and he did not care for them. He also found it politic to keep his mouth shut. He'll find out more about the people outside later._

 _Eventually, some hours later, they reached the dining hall. The chancellor seated him on her right-hand side as they sat for dinner. Within seconds, servers came out from a side door and began offering food from one end of the table to the other. The affair itself was unremarkable, Kirk found, and he stifled a yawn. However, the entry of a certain security officer was quite surprising and very much appreciated._

 _Alyssa gently glided to her chair two seats to the left of Kirk, making her on an honored guest on the chancellor's other side. Quietly, she waited for the servers to scoop food on her plate and did not move her utensils until Amelia Synprilox did. Once the meal commenced with an uneasy silence, she copied everyone's movements in a slower fashion, picking at her food and nibbling like a bird. She did not speak. Much like the start of the meal, it was customary to wait for the leader to initiate conversation._

 _Once the chancellor signaled for some music and motioned for a chat, the mood relaxed. Whispers went around the table, most of it gossip and all of it things Kirk could not understand since he did not keep track of Synprilox's development. He did catch that Mycoff's family had been eliminated after the grim executions he witnessed except for a few selected members and that some people were not pleased with it. His son and nephew shortly followed him to the grave, an event that Kirk could not forget. It was a scene that he wished he did not witness, so gruesome had it been._

 _The admiral needed a distraction and aimed his observations at the security officer instead. Alyssa ate sparingly, he noticed. Mostly, she whirled the food with her fork enough to make it seem like she took a few bites. Her eyes darted everywhere, noting each person's position, what they said and how they reacted to their neighbors and why. Certainly, they were a lot of people in attendance since Synprilox opened itself to other leaders and curious visitors. As a security officer, Alyssa most likely was evaluating and anticipating._

But to what purpose? What does she know?

 _Kirk always wondered why Alyssa remained here. It had been five years since Starfleet's decision to keep her. He understood that a Starfleet presence would ensure peace and that the agreement with the Federation would be reached amicably. But it had been too long since she was stationed on Synprilox. She should of her pick of any ship, starbase or desk job by now._

 _Kirk chided himself. He hardly knew the security officer and shouldn't have made assumptions and insinuations. Other than McCoy's stories and his brief encounters, he did not give a second thought to the petite woman who saved his life after that mission ended. Time had passed and their lives collided in such a way that interested Kirk. She was alluring, even in face of the tragedies she endured, and that shaped her into a figure he hardly recognized._

 _All those years ago, she asked him to trust her and to put faith in her, although she hardly had it in herself. Kirk had taken the plunge and did not regret it since she had done the same with him. At that dinner table, he asked himself to do the same with her once more. The older and mature woman before him was quite a catch. He longed to reach out and to caress her cares away, but stopped himself. He had better things to worry about._

 _As the crowds talked and the atmosphere became more casual and most of its members quite drunk, Kirk studied each of them as Alyssa did. She was right to be so cautious. All of them had an agenda and none of them wanted the other to know it. It was obvious the way some tongues slipped words about monetary gain or planetary losses or the trades commissioned and continuing. There was also the occasional threat here and there too, but that was nothing new in this game._

 _Kirk listened to a few new arguments. Once he began to understand a little of what was happening, he eagerly turned to his other neighbor and discussed their woes. Kirk didn't realize that he was talking with a Freedom Rider until the man talked about how the food production and distribution was running. The admiral nodded and smiled. But the more drunk his partner was, the worse the discussion went. Kirk ended it when his companion slipped to the floor, unconscious._

 _An hour later, the chancellor departed, finished with her meal and announcing her retirement. The remaining company stayed, asleep or swaying. It was an old Synprilox custom that everyone lingered in the dining hall and celebrated until dawn anyway. As she left, Amelia Synprilox even gave Kirk a smile and a wink. Her maids fluttered and fussed around her as they exited._

 _This left Kirk alone with Alyssa, the only other person in the room who was not horribly intoxicated. He leaned forward and flashed his own infamous grin to gain her attention. "So, how are things?" he asked her._

Corny, Jim, simply corny. What are you doing to yourself?

" _Busy, Admiral," Alyssa answered carefully. She saw the flirtatious tactic and ignored it. "I do not think you'd like to hear any boring details. My personal responsibility is for you and your party. You will be following me home tonight."_

 _Kirk chuckled nervously, thinking her too serious. "Commander, I hardly brought anyone with me. I'm sure they will take care of me."_

" _Has nobody told you that I am in charge? That I am ordering your party around?"_

" _No, they have not. Admiral Ciana informed me of the housing situation and nothing more."_

" _She also ordered me to see to all of your needs, Sir. Whenever are you ready, I will escort you and your men to my home."_

" _Oh? And where are those?"_

 _Alyssa was clearly embarrassed to be telling Kirk this since she thought Lori Ciana complete with her details. She managed to answer without stuttering. "We have a neighborhood for Starfleet officers a few miles away, Admiral. I usually walk to and from the palace from there. I hope that will suffice."_

 _Kirk saw the uneasiness and uncertainty in Alyssa's hazel eyes. He felt so sorry for bothering her and backed down immediately. He thought of what to say that would smooth the situation out, trying to recall McCoy's words a few years ago. Overbearing and charming were not ways to interest Alyssa. She needed honesty and respect. For the time being, he will have to back off and show that he was grateful for her efforts._

" _Whatever you feel is comfortable is perfect," Kirk finally replied. "I'm sure you did your best, Commander."_

 _The admiral was rewarded with a warm smile. Alyssa also blushed like a schoolgirl. She hid the redness by putting her napkin to her face. When one of her men called out of her, she immediately hid the discomfort behind a mask and answered. She excused herself and left the admiral, calling out that she will be back in a few minutes._

 _Kirk was amazed. That was a victory, he thought. It was also the first step towards a friendship that will last them these five months. He also saw a hint of interest and intrigue in those eyes. Alyssa was reaching out too. She just needed the time to figure it out._


	4. Long Broken Arm of Human Law

Kirk watched the action happen from his office window, leaning against the glass and fogging it with his breath as the shadows danced with the afternoon sun. He knew Alyssa's schedule by easily looking it up and found himself raptured of her presence. The repeated action of walking around the building was calming. While she was beautiful in the casual uniform she wore so confidentially, the wind from the bay whipping her hair across the sunburnt face, she eventually slowed down after a few laps. The mask fell off briefly and was put back on with a smile.

After three rounds, McCoy caught up with her and quickly inserted a syringe to her side. Hiding it, he greeted her warmly and chatted for a few minutes before parting with a jaunty wave. When Alyssa took a couple of steps forward and then collapsed, McCoy was there on the scene to call for help and to pull her inside. The scene was played out to precision.

 _Perfect._

Sickbay was a level down. Kirk exited his office, passing a bewildered Riley (who called out about signing something else), and taking the lift down. Reaching his destination and ignoring the usual salutes he gained as a high-ranking officer, he had to press through a crowd of people rubber-necking to see the commotion. He ordered them to stand down and to mind their own business. Once the pathway was cleared (the merits of being an admiral), Kirk rushed into the department and searched for McCoy.

He easily found the doctor sitting by Alyssa's bed chuckling quietly. He beelined right over, taking the opposite seat and speaking in hushed tones to McCoy about how she was doing and when she could be released. McCoy nodded here and there, pretending to be concerned and telling Kirk about her dire prognosis, and shut a curtain around them for privacy. They continued to converse in the same manner until the room was deserted and they could talk more freely.

By then, Alyssa had woken up and already deducted what had happened to her. "You sneaks," she croaked. "I knew something was afoot. Instigators, the both of you."

"I could knock you out again," McCoy warned.

"I don't find that necessary," Kirk said coolly. He looked at Alyssa severely. "I would also recommend that you keep quieter."

"Yes, _Sir_ ," she replied petulantly.

"See what I have to deal with?" McCoy was highly amused.

"I've understood for quite some time, Doctor." Kirk wanted to get down to business and did not appreciate the distractions. He turned to the security officer. "Alyssa, what brought you here? You told me little last night."

Alyssa grabbed the proffered glass of water from McCoy and swallowed some to clear her throat. She handed it back to him, her hands shaking. "To San Francisco itself or to head his super secured silliness?"

Kirk bristled, not liking the conference called inappropriate names. "Both."

"I was ordered to."

"By who?"

"Starfleet. Who else?"

"Yes, I understand that. Who specifically?"

"That is unknown. The message came from Admiral Nogura though."

"Why him? He's not in charge of you anymore."

"You can ask him. He was under orders to have me moved here. Someone had a brainy idea to promote me to head of all security in Starfleet."

"You didn't question him?"

"Me, question an admiral like Nogura? _Please_ , Jim. I did. I begged him to give me space. He wanted me right into the action as soon as I stepped back onto Earth." The way Alyssa frowned reminded Kirk of the night before. "I was initially granted leave and told to report to San Francisco when I was cleared for duty. Less than three days later, the Old Man himself visited. He was aware of my state of affairs and admitted that he had to disregard it by higher powers than he."

McCoy exchanged a worried look with Kirk. "I don't like this already," the doctor muttered.

"How long were you given to move?" Kirk asked her.

"Less than a week," Alyssa confirmed. She rubbed her sore head. "I had just started getting used to a domestic life again. Ali, Magda and I settled into a routine. Originally, after my leave, I was going to be part of a security team at one of the construction bases for the new series of starships Starfleet was building."

"Have you ever dealt with the Thyrians before?"

"I've vaguely recalled them being mentioned over the years. They're familiar though."

"What was that shipyard building? Was it linked to the Thyrians?"

Alyssa snorted. "You're kidding me, right? Jim, you would know more than I do about the new class of starships."

"They don't just construct ships there. There's more action on those bases than at Starfleet Command at the beginning of the work week. The motion seems too close to the final arrangements here."

"I see your point. I never connected the two. What I saw there did not seem likely to be linked to the Thyrians though."

"It all begs the questions of how and why you're here."

McCoy butted into the interrogation. "You're telling me."

Alyssa took the glass from McCoy and chanced another sip of water. She shook her head. "If I had the answer, you two, I'd tell you. I am as much in the dark as you are."

Kirk tried another angle. "Do have any information about the Thyrians?"

"Nothing… _unusual_ …if that's what you're asking," she answered cautiously. Taking a deep breath, she added quickly, "I have a feeling. Maybe this is nothing, but I think they're up to something."

"Aren't we all?" McCoy pointed out. "Somehow, someone or something is always causing trouble."

"Doctor." Kirk shot McCoy a warning glance before turning back to Alyssa. "How so?"

"The two-day break is an indicator." She moved her right hand and scratched her upper left arm, which was covered in an alarming number of blisters and spots of varying colors, from pink to black. The sleeve dropped to cover them. "I've done some snooping myself. They are secluding themselves in their quarters and are refusing all services that the Federation offered. Instead, they send their own people outside for necessitates and to explore the area. Nothing from the kitchens or the supply rooms suffice. Some of these so-called servants have been caught in restricted areas."

"It's a tad suspicious on all sides." Kirk did not like it either. "Keep an eye out on them. Report back to me if you find anything."

The monitor above their heads beeped in a troublingly manner. "She isn't going anywhere tonight," McCoy confirmed, thankful for the good timing. "Seems like we didn't take any medication, did we, Alyssa?"

"What medication?" The security officer feigned innocence.

Kirk laughed spontaneously. "You rest, Alyssa. I'll see you tomorrow."

Slipping through an opening in the curtain, Kirk made his exit. Behind him, he heard McCoy lecture Alyssa about how dangerous it was for her not to take her pills. Putting on a mask of his own, Kirk took the lift upstairs to his office. On the way, he was bombarded with questions about Alyssa from several people. He dismissed them all, stating that she is well and will be back to her duties the next day. As soon as he managed to pass them and enter his office, he barricaded himself inside. Riley was behind him.

"Admiral, ready for those reports?" he asked casually. He had some devices in hand that held documents.

Kirk waved his away. "Later, Riley. You can send them to my apartment. I have a little research to do."

"Yes, Sir. Do you need me to bring anything from the Federation library?"

"I actually will appreciate any tapes an discs you bring me, Commander."

"What are you interested in, Sir?"

"Anything on the Thyrians. Speeches from professors, reports from other ships, a random manuscript…anything you can grab. I would like to be enlightened about our guests."

"Sir, that material might be restricted."

"If it is, some back and let me know. I'll handle it with the librarians."

Riley acknowledged and left, allowing Kirk room to ponder. He sat at his desk, unsure if he should continue studying this matter. The situation left a foul taste in his mouth though, especially when he added Starfleet into the equation. Would they be sabotaging this meeting? What about the construction in Louisiana? Are they using Alyssa? And if so, for what means? If not them, what are the Thyrians up to? Why are they here?

It made him wonder a lot of things, most of all involving the woman he loved. How long does she have? How truly ill is she? Was Nogura so heartless as to not fight for the man beaten to the bottom? And how they Starfleet get her involved in such a responsible position that could not be handled?

~00~

 _It was awkward to be walking like an anonymous person. When Kirk became a captain and then an admiral, he was always escorted everywhere and had no privacy until he entered his quarters. To be used to that and then have only three others (Alyssa and his personal guards) stand beside him was disconcerting. He kept expecting a small mob coming up to him and begging for some help or maybe point out their troubles. He half-expected McCoy to be nagging at him about the changes in Sickbay too._

 _Sighing, the admiral continued his trek. His surroundings in the darkness had been mysterious and quite exotic. It was a huge difference from the last visit. He recalled Synprilox as it used to be – unpredictable, wild and even chaotic – and found it quite hushed. It was best to keep on his toes, especially with so small of a party. With so much ahead of him, it wasn't possible to relax._

 _It was only for five months, Lori promised. Kirk reevaluated and tried the idea of being on vacation. Indeed, it was nothing compared to the endless piles of documents for him to sign or the inability to regain on a ship and leave terra firma. He was actually on another world and talking with people. Granted, vigorous meetings and inspections might be the only activity he had, but he would not stationary all the time, cushioned in a climate-controlled office with officers who lied better than lived._

 _As far as Kirk was aware, he will actually be crawling through the mines, walking through the factories and spending time with people other than the chancellor. Usually, his free time was spent listening to petitions, doing someone a favor or entertaining Lori with his exploits and experiences in diplomacy while being a captain. It was a break from the boredom on Earth and still another aspect of his promotion that he disliked. He hoped that Alyssa would provide some sort of entertainment when he was not pretending to agree with politicians and ordinary citizens._

 _His legs ached deeply when they reached Alyssa's home, situated in the Starfleet section. She lived in a nice house, which was unusual even for a Starfleet officer. A small, gated front yard sprouted a variety of flowers that camouflaged most of the building. There was also a backyard, where a tree sprouted high with red and gold leaves. On the left, there was a vehicle with wheels. On the right, there was a higher fence line and some security cameras and whirled in every direction._

 _Alyssa unlocked the initial gate and then the door via a series of punched-in numbers. The first room was dimmed. Their company was a single woman sleeping in a chair. Kirk found her vaguely familiar and dismissed it. He followed the security officer instead. As he did, the corridors lit up as they passed through. She led Kirk and his two bodyguards upstairs and showed them to their quarters._

 _On the way up, she pointed out to the men where they could some necessitates on the second floor and where to find the kitchen. She promised in the morning to continue the tour. Then, she guided Kirk's tagalongs to their shared room and discussed shifts with them. A whispered conversation ensued, most of it Kirk could not hear. He picked up bits and pieces, most of it concerning the structure of the house and where they could secure weapons and passageways and transports. He waited until Alyssa dismissed them before she got his attention._

 _Down the end of the hallway, Alyssa opened a separate bedroom for Kirk. "I am down a few doors," she concluded. "If you need anything, please don't hesitate to call me."_

 _Kirk nodded his thanks and entered. His entry inside his sanctuary for five months brightened into a gentle illumination. It was unusually comfortable and homey. There was a bed and nightstand. Against one of the walls was a dresser. Another stood a table with a visual communicator for all sorts of calls. A chair before it was cushioned with some padding._

 _He decided it call it a night. As he sat on the bed, he flexed his muscles, relaxing. Outside his window, multicolored flames from a million fires reflected around the life support bubble, creating a new sun before sinking into oblivion and enveloping them in darkness. That alone might have deterred the notion of sleep, but not for the admiral. He was utterly spent from his travels. He was still unused to be so celebrated that his very presence was toasted. He longed for the days where he could simply sit in a Recreational Room and play a simple game of chess with Spock._

 _Shaking away that longing, Kirk undressed himself. He changed into civilian clothing and curling under the crisp blankets. He called for the overhead lights to turn off. But when he closed his eyes, all he could see were the scenes from five years ago. He thought he forgot them, but these memories suddenly came back to him in clarity. He recalled being ushered into the Grace Guardian and finding himself on the side of some highway in the middle of Maine. Then, the days were calculated carefully. Their pretense had to be kept. When Kurt Hemmingway was killed, they had to do everything to survive and get back._

 _After maybe an hour of dreaming this, Kirk got up. He rubbed his eyes and stood up, bumbling in the shadows until he managed to reach the door and call for luminosities. He figured that maybe sitting outside would help get him back on track, unpresentable clothing forgivable. It seemed peaceful out in those gardens. There might be some of it left for him to absorb._

 _He retraced his steps back to the bottom floor. Just as he reached the landing, he heard some noise. Inching closer to the source as he rounded a few corners, he peeked and found the kitchen. There, Alyssa sat on one of the bar stools that circled an island. She was in a nightgown and bare feet. With tears running down her face, she stared intently out the window while listening to music._

I see the sun comin' up at the funeral at dawn,  
The long, broken arm of human law.  
Now it always seemed such a waste,  
She always had a pretty face.  
So, I wondered how she hung around this place.

Hey, come on try a little, nothing is forever.  
There's got to be something better than in the middle.  
But me and Cinderella, we put it all together,  
We can drive it home with one headlight…

 _Kirk slipped away before Alyssa noticed him. It was best to leave her alone, he mused. It was a long day and she was surely tired. However, the stern, strict officer in Kirk criticized her. The way she easily allowed herself the luxury of laziness and listening to some unknown music was disturbing. She was a security officer for Starfleet, for God's sake. She should be alert at all times, especially with an important officer staying in her home._

 _It would have been within his rights to reprimand her and accept no explanation. It took every bit of strength in him not to turn back and startle her. Kirk thought it futile in the very least. The woman was obviously in distress and hiding it very well. He felt ashamed of himself. He knew her circumstances. Alyssa had been shattered and the shards of her life hardly put back together._

 _This seemed to be the beginning, when the admiral realized that he was slowing transforming into a man he despised. Kirk chided himself, hoping that there was something sensible reasoning left in him. As he headed towards the front door, he thought too. There was a sense of chivalry within him for the young woman and her problems, more so than when he first met her at the palace. He was determined to find out how and why she was so troubled and resolve it._

* * *

 **Lyrics are from the Wallflowers' song "One Headlight".**


	5. A Flower Opening Up

Riley had not been able to come up with a lot of material from the library about the Thyrians. There were a few older tapes that Kirk listened to and some papers read with little interest. It was all the same information and by different people. He had Riley return all but one tape. It was a speech from thirty years ago, made by a professor born and raised on Earth. The admiral began listening to it and decided to stop after the speaker began describing Thyria as warlike and manipulative.

The admiral found this a clue and absconded the tape, hiding it in his back pocket. To Riley, he pretended that there was nothing new and instructed him to leave him alone for the rest of the afternoon. The aide, his hands full of tapes and old papers from the libraries, rolled his eyes. He wasn't one for disrespect, but Kirk could see that the younger man was annoyed about the lack of attention to the paperwork. He resolved to acquiesce Riley at a later point. He had more important business to attend to.

When his office was deserted, Kirk snuck out as casually as he could. His destination had been the Federation daycare center. While it was utilized as a place where officers, visitors and other delegates left their children, it also was a sort of school. The matron was in charge of any instruction her charges had, designated by another teacher or a parent, and a team split the various children up. He knew that Alyssa left Magda in charge of Ali there.

Kirk was determined to make one trip there, if only to satisfy his curiosity and to tell the young girl about her mother. But the problem was that he did not know where the so-called daycare was. He nonchalantly flipped the question here and there concerning its whereabouts and followed vague instructions from his conversations. Soon, the admiral found himself near a hallway where the noise echoed loudly. He covered his ears and approached.

A million voices bounced around Kirk, growing louder the closer he came. When he entered the designated entranceway without an announcement, he was surrounded by children of all aliens, races, colors and creeds, yelling for his name and lording over him like mini tyrants. All of them tried taking him down, pulling at his uniform and dragging his hands away from his face.

The admiral managed to escape with his life (as he saw it) and soon came face-to-face with the head of the department. She was flabbergasted that Kirk would stoop so low as to visit. After her shock, they exchanged the usual pleasantries. He explained his reasoning for being there, excusing himself profoundly that he did not send somebody ahead to warn of his call. However, he felt he was personally responsible for bringing news of a parent to a child.

"I understand, Admiral," the headmistress said nervously. She twisted her red uniform in-between her fingers in a gesture that indicated she was trying not to scream irrationally. "Do you think it's wise though? Alice is quite…well, she's _wiser_ than her years merit and might take your kindness the wrong way. She also has a nursemaid that is constantly in attendance. She can take care of bringing the news to Alice."

"I think I can handle an eleven-year-old child," Kirk replied confidently. He did not believe that one child could cause so much trouble. "Is her nursemaid with her now?"

"Nearby," she confirmed. "Magda Mycoff is highly protective of Alice too, Admiral. Be careful."

Kirk wanted to laugh. He had dealt with Magda before. He thought back to when his relationship with Alyssa began. That dominating woman was behind them constantly, worrying about her and what he would do to destroy her. Kirk had the reputation of being a ladies' man already and that preceded him. What that nursemaid could not understand was that heartbreak was something that was always in the stars for him, either for him or for the women he loved. He could not help it.

The older woman allowed him to pass and search for Ali. Kirk easily found her and Magda in a few minutes at a table with some Vulcans and Ferengi. Ali was silently reading in a stillness that startled Kirk. He studied her for a minute, stunned by her appearance. She was very petite and thin like her mother. Her ash blonde hair took him aback. When she turned to him, averting her sight from an old paper tome she was reading, he saw the haunted hazel eyes of Alyssa behind the face of freckles dotted across her youthful cheeks.

She was very astute in realizing his importance, putting the book to one side and standing in attention. When Magda noticed the change, she copied her charge and whispered something in Ali's ear. The girl disregarded it and waved her watcher away. Then, Ali put her hands behind her back in a gesture similar to Kirk's own when he was thinking or facing anyone with a problem. She did not pace. She observed him on her own, her face stoic and unreadable as the hazel eyes raked him up and down.

Although admiring Ali, Kirk found a worthy opponent in this child and saw immediately that the warning he was given was not because she was a stereotypically difficult girl. She was extremely intelligent, an adult in the mind and body of an eleven-year-old. She would use any tools she had in order to defeat him. Any weakness she sought and found would be used against him without discrimination.

"Admiral," Ali greeted cordially. She approached him without fear. "What brings you here? How is my mother?"

"Better than she was," Kirk replied carefully. "She is currently in Sickbay with Doctor McCoy."

Ali did not betray any worry. If she did, she hid it well. "Oh?"

"She fainted while on duty," Kirk explained slowly. He did not feel it necessary to add that it was partially his fault. "She is resting now. You'll see her tonight when you go home."

"I see. Do you know when the cadets will be released from the Academy?"

Kirk found it strange that Ali was flippant about her mother and changed the topic so quickly. "Possibly no later than the end of this week. Some of them are being transferred to ships or here until they are called to more permanent stations. Some might be on leave until their permanent duty station. Why are you asking?"

"I was hoping to see my brother soon. He would also want to see Mom too."

"I understand."

"If I may be so bold, Admiral, I believe you understand more than you're leading on. Do you have any information about Ryder specifically?"

"Honestly, I have nothing more than what I told you. I would advise that you use the usual channels to communicate with Ryder."

"As the daughter of a security officer, especially the head of the whole department, surely you are aware that I am restricted in my movements?"

"Any family member would be if someone was so high-ranking."

"My mother isn't a normal person. I assume that she has done several things for Starfleet and it has trickled down to me."

Kirk found that he had no words for Ali. His admiration turned to amazement. She was very forward, he had to admit to himself, and very much aware of what was going on and why. She was leading him somewhere, a trap as he saw it. He had to continue to keep on his toes though. He reminded himself that Ali did not need to be privy to every sordid facet, although she was keen in finding details best kept secret, no matter what they are. He also had to tell himself that this trip was supposed to appear explanatory, not out of inquisitiveness.

 _But Ali isn't going to allow me to finish. Why?_

"Do we have someplace we can talk alone?" Kirk suggested. "Surely, you don't want the other kids to know your family's business?"

Ali tilted her head to one side in a calm interest like Kirk said something outlandish and she was shocked by the revelation. She nodded her agreement eventually, motioning with her hand a side room. He followed her lead (Magda shot him daggers from her eyes seeing the action) and they ended up in a small cafeteria. Nobody was around except for a janitor cleaning up a mess left by toddlers. They would not be heard above the din.

"No, I do not like people talking about us," Ali began as she and Kirk sat down. She folded her hands together meticulously. "Mom, Ryder, Magda and I are a unique family. I do not know many who live as we do."

"What do you mean?" Kirk decided to play stupid for the moment.

"Something is different about Mom's career with Starfleet," Ali insisted. "I've lived in Synprilox my whole life. Sometimes, we stayed on Keplar III, maybe for a few months. But I picked up on some things. For example, most career officers are transferred many times, usually within five years or so. My mother was ordered to remain on Synprilox. Why? It was very dangerous."

Kirk tried justifying the issue to brush the issue under the rug with the little information he had. "Starfleet was trying to stabilize Synprilox and wanted prevent war above all." He was appalled that Ali knew so much. "Your mother knew the planet well. They depended on her expertise."

"Even at the risk of our lives?"

"If it was to ensure peace, then I am certain that Starfleet would have made an escape route for you and your family. Your mother also knows her duty. She would have sacrificed her life, especially to save you. If Starfleet did not provide a way out, she would have ensured your safety."

"Ryder was already gone. He went to the Academy a couple of year ago. Me, Magda and Mom? There was nothing planned. We had been abandoned, Admiral. We were lucky that someone heard Mom's distress signal two days before the planet exploded. When we were picked up, we had seconds left before we would have drowned. How can you be so sure that Starfleet would have saved us? That there was some escape plan?"

"Did you not get rescued? Are you not sitting before me, having a chat?"

Ali eyed Kirk suspiciously. "You knew about this."

"I actually did not." Kirk chuckled. He was having some fun now. "I learned about this recently and most of it by your own admittance."

"But you know my mother."

"As a matter of fact, I did acquaint myself with her a long time ago."

"How?"

"She was assigned to my ship almost twenty years ago. I was captain of the _Enterprise_."

" _You_ were a captain?"

"Then, yes. Your mother was one of my many security officers."

"What happened? How did she get reassigned from the _Enterprise_ to Synprilox?"

"It's a long story, Alice."

" _Ali_." The girl's face was stubborn. "And I don't come from Wonderland either."

Kirk tried not to laugh again. A smile betrayed his amusement. "I'm sorry, Ali. As I've said, it's a long story. Many things happened between then and now."

"Can you tell me anything?"

"I would not think it wise."

"Why?"

"This is something for your mother to tell you. I would be disrespecting her otherwise."

Ali blew out some frustrated air. "Then, you must have known my father."

Kirk did not expect this comment to hit him so hard. The shock was obvious on his face as he looked at Ali with eyes that displayed his surprise and dismay. He controlled himself though. He was the adult between the two of them, not her.

"I do," he admitted slowly. "He was an officer on the same ship."

"Can you tell me who he is?" For the first time, Ali was acting her age. She was also desperate for facts she did not need.

"No," Kirk responded gently. "What I can tell you is that he and your mother loved each other very much. For reasons of their own, they had to separate and continue their respective careers. It was better that you stayed with your mother, they decided."

Ali was confused and close to tears. "Why? Why wouldn't he stay with Mom if they both loved each other?"

"Because in Starfleet, there is always a sense of duty and obligation and the urge to save who is close to you at the risk of your own soul," Kirk explained sternly. "Your parents understood that. They did not want anyone to have knowledge of their relationship. To have that would mean leverage and the two of them could not afford to lose each other…and you and Ryder as well."

~00~

 _Kirk had spent his first night on Synprilox outdoors. He woke up a few hours later with the rising green sun. The flames warmed his face as it reflected through the glass bubble. Opening his eyes, he watched the dawn break and stretched his limbs. He was so stiff from sitting in a chair all night and could not get up. He continued his exercises, enjoying the unique view._

 _Alyssa came out a few minutes later with two mugs and handed one to Kirk. It was filled with black coffee. "Good morning, Admiral."_

" _Morning." He groaned when his neck creaked in protest. "Have any advice for the newcomer, Commander?"_

" _Don't sleep outside in a lawn chair?" Alyssa sipped from her cup as she seated herself next to him. "Enjoy the caffeine while we have it?"_

 _Kirk sniffed the liquid before partaking, grateful for simple graces. "How did you obtain this?"_

" _Trade ships stop in once in a while. Some of them carry goodies from Earth. I bartered for a few pounds of coffee beans. I don't drink it often, but I do save it for special occasions."_

" _Is this one of them?"_

" _I would not venture to guess, Sir. I must say that I am appreciative of any company that passes through."_

" _Have you had many visitors?"_

" _Doctor McCoy comes by once in a while. Since his so-called retirement some months ago, I have not heard from him. Uhura came here a couple of years ago with Chekov and Sulu. Chekov came by himself a few times afterward. There were a few embassies that have been established here. Sometimes, random Starfleet brass come in."_

 _Kirk was highly surprised, he found. "That's it?" He was incredulous that so few made Synprilox a pit stop._

" _Yes, Sir." Alyssa put her cup down on the ground next to her feet. "I have hardly interacted with anyone past my men, some of the inhabitants of Synprilox and Keplar III and my own family."_

" _Other than your son, who do you have?" The admiral was curious. He ignored the mention of another planet for the moment._

" _I have a live-in nursemaid and companion," she replied casually. "Her name is Magda. She came highly recommended and has proven herself trustworthy and kind."_

" _You never remarried? No boyfriend on the side?"_

" _No! I have no time for that nonsense. Why should I?"_

 _Kirk was tickled by the answer. It took all of his power not to laugh at Alyssa. However, once she saw her mistaken outburst, she immediately repeatedly apologized to him, stating that it was not her intention to be so disrespectful._

 _He waved her words away. He did not want her to say how sorry she was. He wanted to get deeper into her heart and try to be a friend. Gods know that his own people from the_ Enterprise _were far away and the new company he courted dove deep into desk work. Alyssa was different and seemed true to herself._

" _Commander, I am not just here on inspection," Kirk interrupted. "I am hoping to get to know you better. I remember you from so long ago and how you saved us. We are in hopefully better circumstances. There should be no friction."_

" _What do you mean?" Alyssa's heart was in her throat. She did not expect Kirk to be this kind._

" _We don't need to be formal. And it's Alyssa, right?"_

" _Yes, Sir."_

"Jim _. You can still call me Jim."_

 _Alyssa had been uncomfortable calling the admiral by his first name, even on the_ Enterprise _. She also felt flattered that someone would reach so far as to make a friend out of her. She never asked for them. McCoy had been the first. Chekov was next, younger and always true, no matter how distant he became. Now, Admiral Kirk, when he had forgotten about her? What did he want?_

 _It was a surprise, albeit she was hesitant. She showed her pleasure through her smile, picking up her coffee and taking another sip._ _Kirk was pleased to see Alyssa so amendable to the suggestion. It was like a flower opening up. A layer was peeling away. It led to that hurt from the night before. He was getting closer._

" _All right, Jim," Alyssa finally said. "I think I can still manage that."_


	6. Facing Ghosts and Demons

Kirk was exhausted at the end of the day, crossing into his home doorway with more work he cared to look at. Riley had cornered him before his afternoon departure and he agreed to take his aide's load of Starfleet nonsense. With such a heavy heart, he felt it was would be no distraction. To find that, he called McCoy and asked him to meet him at his apartment. The doctor hesitated before agreement.

And so it was that McCoy found Kirk sitting by his fireplace drinking an hour after the admiral settled down. The door closed behind the doctor and he immediately drew himself towards his friend, knowing that this was more than a typical house call. He sat in the opposite chair and waited until Kirk spoke. McCoy did not expect him to talk much. The expressions on Kirk's face told more than how his day went. The admiral appeared as if he had seen a ghost.

Finally, after some minutes had passed, Kirk sat up, placing his drink on a side table. "How's Alyssa?"

"I thought you'd never ask." McCoy was smug in his reply. He adjusted his attitude and tried to be serious. "Doctor and patient privilege extended to you with her permission. Currently, she is under overnight observation pending release in the morning. I did not like her vital signs."

"What do you mean? What's happening to her?"

"Jim, you know that she has that damned radiation poisoning from Synprilox. It's a slow kill. Because she did not take her medication and was bouncing from one station to another, she got tired."

"What about today? Did we make it worse?"

"No. It's the disease. I'm glad we caught it. She slipped in and out of consciousness for a few hours. After she woke up, she protested that she needed to go home to her family. I had to make sure that dragon of hers was aware and watching her daughter before she was satisfied with the arrangement and stayed in bed."

Kirk nodded. "I see."

"Magda mentioned you visited Ali earlier," McCoy ventured. This might have been Kirk's problem and he wanted to explore it head-on. "What made you feel so obligated?"

"Somebody had to tell the girl that her mother was in Sickbay," Kirk said. "I didn't want a stranger telling her."

"Jim, you're also curious."

"I can't deny that accusation. How can you tell, Bones?"

"Wouldn't a man who had not seen his daughter since she was a month old be curious to see her grown?"

Kirk glanced at McCoy with his mouth agape, for the second time that day shaken. He wasn't going to tell himself that the truth was a lie. McCoy wasn't one to sugarcoat anything either. On the other hand, he had told himself for so many years that Ali was not his child and that she was safer with her mother, to make that separation easier to cope with for both of them. After hearing about their misadventures in Synprilox and how they nearly died, he was unable to control his emotions any longer. He had to take the helm somewhere and home was the best place for control.

"A man who does not have a heart." Kirk did not want to chart his feelings yet, trying to change the topic and finding that he could not stray too far from the center matter. "A man who could not bear to see the woman he loves shattered and their family battered down by a weight they should not have."

"Jim, you and Alyssa stood by this decision to ensure both of your surviving. She took the blame." McCoy was tired of explaining this to Kirk. This had been through this conversation before eleven years ago and the repeat was annoying. "You both said so. I heard Alyssa. She knew it would ruin you, her and the children. She saw Ryder and Ali used as bait if someone knew."

"People suspected anyway. Starfleet inquired into it when they cared. Lori knew from the beginning."

"Your beloved admiral also did not care."

Kirk was wounded to be reminded of the wife he took for a short time. He was still traumatized by her death only a handful of years previous, watching her die in a transporter accident. "She did and let it go because she wanted me to be happy. It was a game, Bones. She wanted me to do her bidding and place me under her thumb, but it turned into a position and a marriage I could not stand after a year. I completed the arrangement with no hard feelings. After she…"

"Yes, after she was killed, you were free of her and her magic. But from what, Admiral? From your desk duties? Or forever securing yourself? You could have gone back to Alyssa if you two weren't so damned stubborn or if the Synprilox situation was better handled. She would have welcomed you back."

"And still risk the children? No. I could not do it. Ryder and Ali were safer in her hands, I thought. Now that I know more about Synprilox, the possibilities remained."

"See? You still care. Ryder was not your blood son, but you sure as hell treated him like one."

"I did." He paused. "Ali…she was like a reflection in the mirror. She looks and acts like Alyssa mostly."

"The features are too subtle to notice," McCoy reassured him. "Hair color maybe. But you're right. Mostly, Ali does look like Alyssa. Intellect comes from both of you."

"What do you mean? It'd be more her than me."

"I beg to disagree, Jim. Alyssa has the smarts and sees the whole picture, but she's also part instigator, which makes it worse. You have a duel personality that causes you to work from both sides, negative and positive, without trying to cause trouble if you don't need to. Ali has the same commanding presence you possess."

Kirk ignored the assessment. "She asked me who her father was."

"Did you tell her?" McCoy leaned in.

"I only informed her that her father was an officer on the _Enterprise_ and served with her mother."

"You indirectly told her the truth then."

"In a manner, yes. I did not name myself." Kirk paused, trying to collect himself. He felt something akin to pride and pushed it one side. "Dammit, Bones, you cannot lie to this girl. Just talking with her made me feel like I was stripped naked in front of her. She could see through my words and read into my thoughts."

McCoy hooted in merriment, relaxing back into his chair. "Ali has always been like that. Don't give it any mind. Get past it. There's a scared child underneath that layer."

"How did you do it?" Kirk reached for his glass again and gulped a large amount before placing it next to him once more. He offered McCoy his own from the bottle on the floor, but the doctor declined. "She runs you over and plays enough games to make your head spin."

"Give Ali some time, Jim. She just moved to a new planet, met some hobgoblins she never thought existed, and had to continue to be on her toes. It's natural for the kid not to trust someone she just met and spin a few heads. After a childhood like hers, I can't blame her."

"If I could have changed it…if I had gone back to Alyssa maybe…been more involved with Synprilox…"

"You wouldn't. The great admiral moving mountains for a family not acknowledged before? No. You and Alyssa have a lot of enemies, most of them willing to take out anyone related to you. She alone had the strength and position. You made the right decision then and you still are now."

Kirk sighed. "But at what cost? Now, someone meshed us together. She is supposed to be protecting me and she brings along the family. Me? What could I possibly have except this bitterness? To be near her and not talk to her?"

McCoy understood. He could not count the years he spent apart from his ex-wife and their daughter. That alone was the most hurtful part of being divorced and away from someone you love. He did have feelings for the woman who he married and bore him a child. At the same time, he felt being away was the best decision for everyone. _She_ had custody of their daughter Joanna and made it clear that he was not welcome after betraying him.

He always visited when he could, especially when he had no assignment or was on shore leave, but to be so close and not to have contact was sometimes unbearable. His relationship with Joanna was distant at best and that had been his greatest regret. His visits to her had been fraught with arguments, most of them about her career. Since her mother hardly paid any attention, it was difficult to manage a child and then a teenager with impulsive manners. Since joining Starfleet though, Joanna had calmed down and established a better ties with her father, although the past remained taboo.

Even with the similarities, McCoy could not tell Kirk how to handle his own daughter. His circumstances had been different from the admiral's ever were. McCoy's solution had been diving into his work and avoiding fights with his ex-wife. Kirk? Well, his benefit to Starfleet had been sitting in a center chair commanding a flying computer console. He was not meant to be some hotshot know-it-all sitting on his laurels and listening to peace conferences while the woman he loved was close by and dying and his daughter needed him.

"I can't dictate to you the terms and conditions of relationships, Jim," McCoy concluded, feeling like a failure as a friend. Even his conscience had no answers. "But I know this much is true. I can't describe to you how painful it is to watch the ones you love get on with their lives without you. The best you can do for yourself is to keep a careful distance. Be a parent if you can. Talk to Alyssa and tell her how you feel. Maybe this is the chance to admit to Ali that you're her father. You need to face this sometime. You can't let it continue to haunt you."

"A laidback feat for you." Kirk felt this was easier said than done. "Your ex-wife is still alive and hates you. For all I know, Alyssa could be dying soon. There's nothing I can do about it, whether she loves me or not."

~00~

 _It had been a tough first week. Inspections, dinner parties and even meet-and-greets wore Kirk down and his patience was thin. He was bored and lacked the necessary stimulation that would have made this more bearable. While present company was always charming and quite polite (even the chancellor had her moments of drunken fun at night), the undertone was quite the opposite. The admiral missed relaxing and longed for people he was comfortable with._

 _The only person Kirk mostly thought about in his waking hours was never with him. He had not seen Alyssa much since arriving and spending an hour with her drinking coffee the first morning. She had been busy herself and he could not blame her. Honestly, he never asked her what her exact duties were. He only assumed that she was running ragged for Starfleet with the huge responsibility on her shoulders and did not have time to entertain him constantly._

 _He didn't mind since it meant order and a well-oiled machine. There was always something to do in a quiet house at night, usually quiet contemplation and perhaps perusing Alyssa's literary section in her office (with permission from her to enter when he pleased for physical reading material). During those times, the admiral most dealt with Magda, the nursemaid that Alyssa previously mentioned beforehand. She was strict, he had to admit to himself, and very proper too, like life was always a series of perfect steps and the wrong one would spell out horrible consequences._

 _She handled Ryder in a way that demonstrated those qualities too. While the boy was hardly seen except in shadows or the occasional yelling, Magda usually kept him out of sight and out of mind. Kirk assumed that daytime hours were spent studying since it was said Ryder was extremely intelligent and imaginative. However, even at night, the admiral did not see him or hear a peek. If Alyssa was not home (which had characterized his first week), Magda brought dinner to Kirk in his room and catered to his needs. Anything downstairs was as quiet as an old Christian church._

 _Towards the beginning of his second week, Kirk felt a little lonesome and resolved to keep the blues away. That day, he endured the next series of assignments with grace before settling in for the night in his room. Having privacy at last, he sat down the table and switched on the communications com. He requested on screen to the_ USS Juniper _orbiting above him to patch him through to Admiral Ciana on Earth. His request was obliged. After some minutes of patiently waiting, he reached her._

 _Lori was sitting at her desk, signing something on her tablet when she accepted the communication. "Jim!" she exclaimed, surprised. "How are things?"_

 _"As fine as they can be under the circumstances," he replied. He found that he was irritated with her for acting so normally when he was away, an irrational feeling he knew was illogical. "So far, so good. Relations seems a little off, but I am still investigating. What else do you need to know about the first seven days?"_

 _Lori set aside the tablet, ticking off a list on her slim fingers. She already had an agenda. "Any unusual plans? People? Other visitors to the planet other than traders? Starfleet security team off?"_

 _"None of the above." Kirk was a little nervous about revealing this sort of information before returning with his report. He referred to his antics, not business, and being interrogated and on the spot about the latter was unnerving. "All is quiet here."_

 _"Good, good. Anything on Commander Elma?"_

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _"There isn't anything she said or did that would question her loyalty? Is there anything suspicious about her?"_

 _"I have hardly seen her. In the times I did, nothing indicated she was conducting treason, if that is what you're referring to."_

 _This got Lori thinking, but she hid her exact calculations from Kirk. She drew back on her smiling mask. "I'm sure Starfleet is keeping her busy. We'll talk about that later. Anything else?"_

 _"Nothing else. I achieved what I aimed for – a smiling face."_

 _Lori was stunned by the flattered remark and returned to the topic. "Report to me on Synprilox's politics later. It's too late to figure out that mess. Call me in the morning if you can. Ciana out."_

 _Oddly enough, this did not make Kirk feel any better. He was uneasy, unsure of how to deal with the possibility that he was under the roof of a traitor. Lori made it clear that there was a chance that Alyssa was betraying Starfleet and her oath as an officer. It was a preposterous notion. Kirk could not imagine a worse person to commit treachery. Alyssa was honest. She would only keep certain things to herself in order to save people._

 _Dimly, he recalled that time Alyssa almost faced that possibility and escaped it as an unwilling victim of circumstance. Admiral Uriah had kidnapped her after killing her husband and brought her to the future, where he used her as a love slave and eventual companion until transferring her was his last choice. Starfleet allowed her to stay with them because of the extraordinary way she managed to become that officer and faced adversary in danger. She had nothing left in her old life in old Earth year 2012 anyway._

 _Downstairs, he heard some noise. He decided to investigate it, quietly sneaking past his guards and seeing the door open just in time for Alyssa to come in. As he stood on the bottom stair, she entered, ordering the lights on. Initially, her back was to him. When she weakly turned around, what he saw shocked him._

 _Kirk rushed forward. "Commander, are you all right?" The admiral was alarmed, grabbing Alyssa before she fell._

 _Alyssa had been beaten. Her tan uniform was ripped and dirtied. Her hair had been pulled apart and ripped in some spots. One eye had been swollen shut and her lower lip split open in an ugly pout. As she collapsed into Kirk's arms, she clenched her left side, gasping for breath. When she saw the admiral though, she smiled grotesquely and said nothing. It was like it was a normal day at the office and that being so seriously hurt was common._

 _She accepted the help without protest, allowing Kirk to lead her to the nearest chair. While the silence was somewhat awkward, she listened to the admiral ask all sorts of questions about what happened and how much danger they were in. He was obviously concerned about security and why Starfleet officers were now conducting local skirmishes. Alyssa was not as worried, choosing to keep silent about the matter._

 _It had been a tough seven days calming a populace that disliked Kirk, Alyssa had to admit to herself, but the excursions were normal. She had been ordered to remain behind and ensure a Starfleet presence on the planet since their joining the Federation. That always created animosity and defensiveness, especially when most had believed the evil aide Mycoff had been innocent of all charges and did not deserve his beheading, an execution shared by his son and nephew some days later. A reminder of the events from five years ago stirred a pot that the security officer did not like sticking her hands into. Orders were orders and there was nothing she could do to change them._

 _Closing her eyes to sleep, she listened to Kirk call for help, frantic to find it as it echoed into her dreams. The crying caused Magda to come out from her bedroom in her robe, rushing downstairs to check the commotion. She chided Kirk on his concern and looked Alyssa over at the same time. She straightened out the security officer's hair and practically dragged her to her feet in an effort to move her. Magda then half-carried her to her room, staying in the security officer's bedroom._

 _Kirk was nervous, shamed into silence by a woman who seemed so used to the violence inflicted upon Starfleet officers. He had not anticipated this. While he was upset about Alyssa, his mind also flew to conspiracy. Lori had been pricy to Synprilox's problems, he dimly recalled. Was she aware of any riff-raff or what kind of reception Starfleet has in Synprilox? Did she notice the changing political and social tide? Or was she ignorant of the circumstances, thinking Kirk the best man for a job with unknown factors?_

 _Before the admiral knew it, he was outside once more, sitting on a chair in the front yard. The garden seemed tranquil and quiet, a sharp contrast to what he had seen and heard this night. Sitting with his head in his hands, his thoughts whirled back and forth. Doubt ate at him, firing up the worst accusations against Lori, Synprilox, Alyssa, Magda and many others. In a moment when he should have been confident, decisive and strong, he was insecure and vulnerable. In an hour, his whole world changed. His original mission seemed more momentous than anticipated and the people involved not what they seemed._

 _Lori was mostly the brunt of Kirk's aggravation. She had been his rock since he was free of his captain's chair, his latest partner and a great part of his new life. There was no doubt in his mind that she knew of Synprilox's problems. That she would dare to send him into a precarious situation was nefarious and quite apprehensive. There was some gain since he was personally requested and had a reputation to keep the peace. However, even Lori should have realized that Kirk alone could not hold it together._

 _After dawn, Magda found Kirk. She sat in the opposite chair, shaking his shoulder gently. He had fallen asleep, groggily listening to her recount what she had done to restore Alyssa. His main concern was the woman herself, not a play-by-play action of what a nursemaid had done to heal her. None of it made sense and it was quite a cold bedside manner compared to what he was used to._

 _Eventually, Kirk had enough. "Is Alyssa all right?" he demanded when there was a pause. He did not want to hear any more gory details._

 _Magda blinked, unsure of how to proceed. Taking a deep breath, she continued. "If your inquiry is if she is alive, then yes, Alyssa is still drawing air. She has lived through worse though."_

 _"What are you talking about?" The dread inside of Kirk grew, more so than believing that Lori had perhaps lied to him. "There has been worse?"_

 _"Synprilox has experienced so much in the centuries we existed," Magda explained. "After the…unfortunate events that led many to believe in the good of their leader, there still remains a hint of insurrection and a feeling of injustice. While everything has improved in some ways, there is always the undercurrent of discontent…and all of them aimed at Starfleet, now more than ever before. Many blame the military for the woes they faced when Mycoff was beheaded."_

 _"So, they attack anyone associated with Starfleet?" Kirk's heart sank. He knew the answer before Magda responded._

 _The nursemaid nodded. "It is not a welcoming prospect. Anyone could be targeted. For all I know, Admiral Kirk, you could be next. Watch your step. Synprilox does not tolerate anyone it feels is poison. An assassin might stab you in the back later."_


	7. Be Careful with Our Secrets

Kirk was determined to meet Alyssa before she was (hopefully) released from Sickbay. He woke up early, hastening over and pretending to be on a silent inspection on his way to his destination. It wasn't much of a lie either, since he was constantly loitering and reviewing without notice. It was all part of being a rear admiral, he supposed, but all and all a good cover.

He achieved his goal in any case, greeting the wane security officer with warmth and offering to walk with her. Alyssa accepted. She saw the scheme behind his eyes and didn't argue, chatting inanely about numerous neutral topics, mostly circling around how she was feeling and why. When they reached Kirk's office, they entered quietly and pretended to be professionally talking of the same things still. When the public world closed behind them, they both breathed a sigh of relief and took their respective seats, him behind the desk and her before it.

Kirk started. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you… _what_?" Alyssa was confused.

"How ill you are. I knew you had that radiation poisoning…"

"Jesus Christ, Jim, what was that going to accomplish? Getting you worked up for nothing? You're not in a position to do anything. Even if I reached out, you would have stuck with our agreement."

"I see your point. Now, you taking a rest day?"

"If you're asking me out for a date, I accept. I didn't have a plan for today anyway. Nobody issued me specific discharge instruction other than to sit. I am not allowed to play with the bullies until tomorrow, when the Thyrians resume discussion."

"Good. You want to listen to a tape with me?"

"What kind of tape?" Alyssa's interest increased instantly.

Kirk took the incriminating item out of his pocket. He had kept it close to his heart since the day before in case something happened to it, trusting no one except the woman in front of him, peculiarly enough. "Do you want to hear about the Thyrians?"

She laughed. "It would be a nice change compared to watching some cadets being beaten up. The Thyrians are back at the table tomorrow. Who knows what kind of ammo they'll bring?"

He ignored the anomalous twenty-first century jargon and pulled out his portable player with a video screen. Inserting the lecture, they waited until an image appeared. While Kirk absentmindedly listened to some of it the day before, he did not study it as intently as he was now. Now, he noticed an elderly humanoid was their host, middle-aged and maybe in the sixties. His skin color matched an Earthling with some streaks of green along it, but his other features were quite alien and similar to the Thyrians, all of which stood out loudly.

The lecturer was also was nervous. The way the sweat poured down his face was an indication that something was wrong and that his upcoming recording was a mistake. Alyssa and Kirk exchanged looks as he began. She scooted closer to the admiral to get a better look.

" _Hello. My name is Professor Hugh Lattimer, Doctor of Universal and Planetary History at the University of Cambridge in England, Earth. Today, I am recording the first part of a series, explaining what my mother's home planet of Thyria is…its culture, background and maybe an understanding of how warlike these people are and the threat they possess to anyone around them, the Federation included. I hope that they would be more than educational, achieving a warning to all as well._

" _Thyria has a history that is as complicated as any other planet. Thousands of years ago, its first people are recorded. They may have evolved as Earth humans did from another animal or maybe some other godly form, but that remains unknown. No historian has explained these options or examined the evidence. Regardless, the people flowered and prospered in this barren world. However, their explosive rate of success retained a dark history that has remained to this day._

" _From the beginning, it was decided that an elite group would rule the planet. They were called the Honored. This sort of council, consisting of ten members, met daily to pass laws, control the municipal forces and granted and denied petitions. They informed the populace of any changes and would do so publically, to the point where unity was automatic and in unison. Every mind was one, every voice to their part of the Honored._

" _The Honored positions were hereditary and always passed to the most talented child or next of kin, no matter the birth order, allowing generations to pass and the same names to rule. Each person selected is set on a grueling training course from the age of five onward until the death of their trainer. If their lessons were not completed, then it is the responsibility of the others within the Honored to finish it. Usually one to two members would be elected for the task. No more than five at one point have been allowed this position. If there was more children that needed schooling, then it is to the advantage of the other family members to step up._

" _With the sense of obedience instilled in the people, another is that of prerogative and secrecy. Thyria has been a society where none are trusted except those on the planet, entitled only to themselves and their achievements. Situated in a faraway and remote area millions of lightyears outside of the Milky Way Galaxy, the Zulu LXVI quadrant, they are used to their isolation. Anybody who is different, any visitors or even messages of friendship and peace…they have been disregarded, my visit included. As a result, the Federation has banned anybody from crossing anywhere near the quadrant._

" _And who could blame them? The planet has large military installations located in prime locations of the planet. Their advanced sensors can detect everything – a probe, a ship, anything – and destroy it with their weapons, made from minerals and radiation from their trade partner, the planet named Synprilox. Even without their weapons, they have developed a deadly ray that would slowly poison a victim, a disease that Starfleet doctors have named Prohm's Radiation. These alone has deterred the Federation as well, especially when extending their hand for enrollment."_

"Freeze," Kirk ordered sharply. He then turned to Alyssa next to him when the frame obeyed. "What do you think?"

"Mysterious," she answered. She was connecting some dots, especially after the mention of Synprilox. "As Spock would say, it is highly illogical for them to act in such a manner without beneficial gain to the many."

The admiral waved his hand, hiding behind a mask of amusement. "I agree. It puts them in a position of distrust."

"By placing us on recess and their odd behavior alone, their actions breed suspicion of conquest."

"It could be that they're tired and nosy?"

"Conspiring?"

"Readying themselves?"

"Yes, but for what, Jim? And to what purpose?"

"That remains to be seen. Want to continue?"

When Alyssa nodded consent, Kirk ordered the video to resume. It picked up where it left off, changing to a different subject. When their guest speaker talked more of the military, his voice turned dark. No longer was he lecturing as if he were an unbiased source. He spoke from his heart, where deep emotions churned and bubbled to the surface. Kirk noticed this especially when the details became more specific.

" _The military is split into several branches. The first is by land and sea. Then, it goes by climates and then microclimates and even atmospheres. Each unit is manned specifically for each type, whether it is rainforests, tundra, deserts…anything all planets are able to sustain. Because the Thyrians are so secretive and resourceful, they quietly have studied all of the worlds they know of and created their forces to counter and conquer them. For if the enemy knows more than the inhabitant, then they would have the upper hand._

" _Only males are allowed service in the military. It is not uncommon for a father to die and have his eldest son take his place, no matter the age. Wives are present for show only and are housed on the installments until the death of the last male. They are ordered to keep house, as it were. If a son is elected to the position of the father, then it is their responsibility to prepare them for the role. Otherwise, women have no place and no voice._

" _Outside of that vocation, the genders are equal and anybody is able to work. Typically, children take on their parents' trade, although younger ones have made their own way since inheritance is always to the oldest. Building from these close units, the Honored have taken advantage of these loyal feelings, preaching integrity and obedience to the elders, even if one is an adult themselves. In short, the oldest is the head of the family and the one who makes the ultimate decisions, between who to marry, when to have children and even as small as how something is cleaned in the house._

" _Mostly, this elder has an underling, their oldest child or grandchild perhaps, learning from them and handling the household problems if they are not present. They are leaned on more heavily than most. They are considered the future of Thyria, the glue that holds her society together. Without elders making decisions and brokering deals between other families, then their way of life would come undone."_

After so much vague information, the speaker's tone changed from a harsh to a soft one. His features lightened, remembering something special in his life that he longed to touch. From Alyssa's standpoint, he appeared in every way to take comfort in his memories and not those he held for others. Secrets did not brood well for Professor Lattimer.

" _My mother was from Thyria. As an only surviving child, she was abused by the system. Her older brother had died as a result of an accident on the base they were living on and she was blamed for the incident ever since, although it was through no fault of her own. When her father died not even a year later from guilt and shame, my grandmother was thrown off the premises and left homeless. The two petitioned to the Honored to have compensation and were denied. There was no reason for charity, they stated._

" _Afterward, it took determination and cunning to sneak off of the planet, most of it planned by my mother, who wanted to the base and knew the base inside and out. While my grandmother was captured before their shuttle took off near what was their old home, my mother managed to escape and navigate the craft to the nearest starbase she could find, far enough away that nobody would catch her. She never looked back._

" _While the Starfleet officers of the day were kind, they decided to keep her a state secret. Isolating her on their base, they built enough records to hide her true identity and created a position for her that would keep her out of the public eye. This she did not mind. In the meantime, she created several recordings of her life on the planet, hoping that they would someday be found and considered. Unfortunately, these tapes have long since disappeared._

" _When she settled on Earth, she married and had a family, myself included. However, one by one, my siblings and their families have fallen to mysterious causes. I am the last survivor of my family as far as I am aware. My mother passed away from natural causes ten years ago. My father's body was trapped at the bottom of an ocean during an unexpected and sudden storm. My brothers and sisters…and their…their families have been shattered and broken apart, caged by a death that is coming. I highly doubt that it is the Federation though. It is the Thyrians, who seek to destroy the only person who dared to leave."_

The screen went blank white for a minute. Both Alyssa and Kirk though the visual to be over. It did not seem to be an ordinary record anyway and both were not surprised it ended so early. The admiral went to turn his player off, but stilled his hand when the professor reappeared. His face was slightly red, indicating that he was upset by the events he informed his audience of, and he wiped away his tears.

" _This concluded session one. The next will be stored with Starfleet's libraries as soon as possible. I hope this brief introduction was enlightening. Thank you."_

It ended abruptly there. The two exchanged glances, thinking the same things. Yes, it was a short oration, but it was supposed to be a series and no others had been found by Riley. If there was supposed to be more, what happened to those tapes? Did anyone hide them or want someone not to know about Thyria? And if there weren't more made, what happened to the Professor Lattimer?

"Computer, search all databases for Professor Hugh Lattimer, University of Cambridge, England, Earth," Kirk commanded. He and Alyssa waited a moment before the results came in on the opposite machine. Before the voice could recite anything, he directed it to input the information on the console on his desk.

"Affirmative," the computer stated.

The admiral ejected the tape, pushing the player away to make more room for the larger computer that sat on his desk. Alyssa inched closer to see the screen, reading over Kirk's shoulders. She shook her head as she scanned the small paragraph. The information on this person was as short as his talk was. She could recite more from her Starfleet records and that said volumes to her career.

Professor Hugh Lattimer was the third child of ten to Pertaria of Thyria and Raymond Lattimer of London, England, Earth. He had several nieces and nephews, but he never married or had children himself. He was incorrect in saying that nobody in his immediate family survived. Alyssa and Kirk did not believe that all relations had been eliminated. A few inquisitive discoveries made on their end revealed a nephew living in San Diego.

"Under an assumed name." Kirk repeated the words on the screen incredulously. "Classified."

"Can we find out more?" Alyssa knew that they had limited time. There was a way to get to San Diego and come back, but it would cut it close. "Who has clearance?"

"Neither one of us," he admitted. The red warning that denied him access tipped him off. "Somebody else does and they're hiding something. But who? And what?"

"Thyria has become the next Pandora's Box," Alyssa said. She too saw the lack of authorization and sighed. "It's misery and woe that will befall those who discover what is underneath the lid. Only I think this'll be the first of many."

~00~

 _Even though she was supposed to be a hostess, Alyssa did not have time for resting, relaxing or talking when the time permitted. She attempted going back to her unit the next morning after the attack, but found herself too weak to leave the house. Instead, she contacted her men and outlined their day's duties from her bed. Her subordinates took their orders through a communicator and promised to their tasks finished without her._

 _In the meantime, she sat in her bedroom, staring out the nearby window as life went on without her. Before long, she became bored and called for Magda to help her bring her downstairs for breakfast. The nursemaid cornered Ryder in his room before coming to her aid, resting her in the living room near the sunshine. Her son then kept her company, munching on his meal and chatting with his mother about the things he planned on doing that day. Alyssa listened intently, adding a word here or there, and ignored the admiral as he too took his food and departed._

 _It was an uneventful day for both sides. Kirk came back from the palace in the evening after meeting with the chancellor and her Freedom Riders and listening to their council meeting about the farmers. He found the security officer in the same spot he left her in. As his guards rotated their shifts for the night, the admiral watched the waning green flames of the sun sink, reflecting off of her face from the glass bubble. He found a chair nearby and dragged it over._

" _Penny for your thoughts," Kirk said, although currency was an almost obsolete item. He also recalled it as an old phrase that was meant to catch someone's attention._

 _Alyssa turned her head with a weak smile. She was slightly healed from the night before and did not seem so much like a monster. "Thinking."_

" _About what, might I ask?"_

" _Many, many things, Admiral, most of it not involving you. Don't worry about it."_

" _Is there anything I can do?"_

" _Not today. Thank you for the offer though, Sir."_

 _Kirk did not like the formality and the stiff way Alyssa talked. He saw it as a way to keep distance and to lock away the key to her heart. He felt unease, inching away and deciding that perhaps bed was the best option. It was late anyway. Although darkness lasted for a far less time on Synprilox, the hours still hung on him like a scarecrow – long, baggy and even frightening. Last night and today's problems weighed him down more. Sleep might be the answer._

 _Passing through the kitchen as he bid Alyssa a good night, the admiral noticed some shadows rushing back and forth. He rubbed his eyes to make sure that he wasn't seeing things. The adjustment revealed a young boy, maybe five or six years old. He was chasing a toy across the floor. When it stayed, he would wind it up and chase after it, giggling hysterically._

 _It was an enchanting scene. He watched the child for a while, marveling at his innocence and simplicity. When the boy noticed him though, he stopped and stood at attention like a soldier, scared that he was caught playing with something unauthorized. When Kirk reached out a hand in friendship and to let him know that it was ok, the boy nervously backed away and ran. Magda was soon yelling at him to go to bed, entering the kitchen and only catching the admiral._

 _She was snarky, even though Kirk was a guest. "Have you seen Ryder?"_

" _That was Alyssa's son?" He was amazed, ignoring the rude manner Magda spoke. He recalled the small baby that Alyssa fought to keep alive, not this dark-haired child with feelings and reason._

" _Yes." Magda's features softened and she sighed. It was then that she realized that she missed the child by seconds. "He's an instigator as big as his mother, I'll admit, and very intelligent. I won't be able to school him much longer."_

" _Shy?"_

" _Very much so. He's not too trusting of others like Alyssa. While he was comfortable with me as a baby, he grew to be scared of me by the time he was eighteen Earth months old. He would hide under the bed until his mother came home every night. One morning, he stopped. He came out and asked me for breakfast."_

" _Food would get them running."_

" _Usually." Magda eyed Kirk questionably now. "How did the proceedings go?"_

 _This put Kirk on edge. The tone had changed and the atmosphere seemed hostile between them. "What are you talking about?"_

 _The nursemaid waved a dismissive hand. "I know why you're here, Admiral Kirk, and I do not envy you this assignment. The agreement with Synprilox is precarious at the very least. We have stood down and have handed over weapons of total mass destruction in order to have protection. We have executed our dearest enemies and have made even more. Now, with the Federation so keen on keeping us in line, I am not so sure that we can stand firm as a planet."_

" _You're doing as well as you can," he offered. This assessment came from what he had experienced so far and it seemed so empty. "All circumstances aside, the economy has never been better. The bartering system has continued and prospered. Your chancellor has been kind and wise, the first who has not been killed after her first term. She has been amendable to every proposal everyone have put forward and it has benefited her and your people."_

" _For Federation membership, yes, we have flowered. You're not here just to talk about them, Admiral. They sent you here to make sure we're not overly militant."_

" _As part of the original agreement, would that be wrong?"_

" _No, but it leaves us painted as untrustworthy and without independence."_

" _You resent my presence here?"_

" _I told you, it is a dangerous one." Magda pursed her lips together. "Starfleet officers are not very well liked here."_

" _I can see that. Alyssa is a prime example, it seems."_

" _Do not be so bitter, Admiral. Think of this as a learning experience. We would have to do the same."_

" _How so?"_

 _Magda smiled this time. "Like a child, we do grow and throw off the cloak of that innocent period. However, all the same, we also tire of the parental influence over us and will seek to destroy it. Be careful with our secrets, Admiral Kirk. Last time, you did not like them as much. This time is not much different. Once you realize the power that we must face, you will see that Synprilox is as vulnerable as the day you landed all those years ago."_


	8. Electric Shock

There was some time left for decent visiting hours. Kirk and Alyssa decided to head to San Diego together, choosing a public shuttlecraft that traveled up and down the coast for tourists. Taking off any sign that they were officers before their pick-up, they rode like common civilians and exited their transport with a friendly wave to the driver much like the other passengers. Deposited on what used to be a dirty city, they melted into the busy crowds without direction, linking their arms together like a couple.

"Where did the computer say we were supposed to go?" Alyssa was curious. She had not anticipated leaving San Francisco so quickly and regretted not telling Magda her new whereabouts. "I didn't catch the directions."

"There wasn't any specific directions," Kirk replied, stopping at a digitalized city map nearby. He peered over a few heads to try to get their bearings. He waited patiently until he and Alyssa could push through to the front. "We'll figure things out somehow. I'm very confident."

"How?" The security guard narrowly avoided some children who passed quickly underfoot. She almost tripped, balancing on Kirk's shoulder in the most unmilitary-like fashion, something he did not mind. They separated to study the diagram. "The only other clue we have is that he's part Thyrian."

"And that's our ticket." Kirk tried concentrating on the screen before him, squinting painfully. "Sometimes, isolated or unique races stick to themselves and would welcome others who have no community."

"And since this nephew of the professor's was part Thyrian, you're saying it's possible that someone took him in? That he is anonymous?"

"Yes. Can you read this for me please? I think it states that MP-250 aliens live in the next district?"

"No, that's NQ-559, Jim. You really need to get some glasses."

Kirk sighed audibly. McCoy had nagged at him for a while and he avoided that prospect for a couple of years. Disregarding Alyssa's jab, he scanned hard through the changing scenes until he found a few interesting neighborhoods that he wanted to explore. With their scant knowledge of the Thyrians, it might get them through depending on how well they played their cards. Entering as Starfleet officers would put everyone on a higher alert. Dressed as civilians, they had a chance.

He pulled Alyssa closed to him when the crowds allowed them to close the gap. "Are you ready for a long walk?"

"Do you need me to keep a checklist and check it twice?" Alyssa asked, nodding.

Kirk shook his head negatively. He was sure he had an idea of where they were going and who they were seeing. It was challenging, but he was always up to those. He again took Alyssa's arm and guided her along the teeming sidewalks. Once more pretending to be tourists much as their fellow travelers coming from San Francisco, they paraded with the loudest groups to avoid detection. While some snapped pictures, Alyssa and Kirk marveled at the sites. While close to what was Mexico, San Diego hosted more than just historical locations and seaside attractions. It was the largest city on Earth with the most diverse aliens and competed with San Francisco for that title.

For a few minutes at least, it was nice to pretend they were a loving twosome without the children tagging along. Alyssa leaned heavily on Kirk, tired from the excursion, and dreamily closed her eyes, allowing him to take control. The admiral almost felt uncomfortable with so heavy of a weight on him. However, he had to think of it another way. This was the first time in years that he and Alyssa were so close together and in public too.

It was the best cover they had, but it also made him wary. _So much for those discharge directions. She's not sitting anytime soon._

For four hours until their returning shuttlecraft arrived for a pickup, they roamed through several sections of the city, pretending to be looking for a supposed lost friend or sightseeing. They inquired about the former more than the latter. Many heads shook when they were asked if a Thyrian lived amongst them. Others wondered what one was. A couple shut their door in their faces. Alyssa was apprehensive and wanted to investigate, but when it was found out by the neighbors that they were a local civilian law enforcement agency watching out for their locality, she left it alone.

Finally, they rested. Sitting on a bench waiting for their ride, they watched people mill in and out of the large awning. A few of them met loved ones with kisses and embraces, others joined the pair and chatted around them. Alyssa rested her head on Kirk's shoulder, slowly easing into his arms. He took the bait at last. He was solaced by her presence, he could not doubt that. Even after today's failure, he could still consider it a success to have her beside him.

This brought up some unwarranted emotions though. He had been so nervous and conflicted when he initially laid eyes on Alyssa. Now, with her so close and a trustworthy companion, Kirk was utterly enraptured, trapped into the easy habit of falling back in love. It went in slow motion too, just like a poison that seeped into a wound and spread through the body. The arrow had shot true. There was no stopping them from picking up where they left off.

Kirk shoved this problem to one aside, concentrating instead on helping Alyssa in and allowing her free rein of his shoulder for a pillow. Luckily, their return to San Francisco merited no attention and a quick reveille for Alyssa. This allowed them to sneak in and change in his office quickly and check in with their respective offices. After it was reported that no activity was worth recounting, Alyssa immediately headed to the daycare with Kirk tagging along just in time to meet Ali and Magda.

At their parting, Alyssa invited Kirk over to dinner, naming a time later that evening and their address. When he accepted, Magda raised an eyebrow and said nothing. She only herded Ali forward and lingered behind with Alyssa as she bid the admiral a farewell. Alyssa was slower than normal, the nursemaid noticed, and might need help walking back to their apartment. Private conversation be damned. McCoy needed to be contacted after they were home.

When everyone was out of earshot, Magda spoke. "Why are you rousing your daughter's suspicions?"

"I doubt she's figured it out yet," Alyssa confidentially said. "I think she fancies her father to be a Starfleet officer anyway."

"She could think that it's the admiral," she hissed back.

Alyssa was indifferent until that moment, bristling on the suggestion. " _And_? I am not admitting the truth to her yet. I cannot."

"What if she asks?"

"I'll tell her the truth. I told Ryder as much. He knows his father was an old Air Force pilot and died by someone else's hands. Destiny did not allow much choice."

"Ryder's father is a man from the distant past and also dead. Ali's father is not."

"Ryder is also aware of the circumstances, Magda. The altered records hide everything. He knows to keep his mouth shut."

"And Ali? No records are going to hide that she's the daughter of a famous officer."

"We left the truth alone for a reason, Magda. There is no trace of the admiral to Ali or Ryder. I want to keep it that way."

"Alyssa, Synprilox is gone and has been for over a year. Nobody will come after us. The Thyrians hopefully mean business."

"I cannot take that risk," the security officer softly declared. She felt herself sway as she walked. "I cannot afford to lose you, the children or him. If anyone knew you were the sister and a mother and aunt of criminals, you're a goner. Admiral Kirk…if the wrong people knew that he was the father of my daughter and the surrogate for my son, they will be used as leverage. I'll never sleep with that on my conscience."

"I think we'll worry about that when the time comes," Magda replied, taking Alyssa by the arm. Her gesture was motherly, although her motives were sneaky. "Let's go home. I'll cook dinner and you get some sleep. I think you've had enough excitement for a few days."

"What excitement? As head of Starfleet security, everyday is an adventure." Alyssa's heart raced. She felt cornered and not willing to share her day, not even to the woman she trusted the most. "There's endless possibilities."

"When I come looking for you to ask about your daughter's necessities, I should not find you missing," Magda said. "When the admiral is also not around, I am going to conclude that you're reassuming the affair."

"If only it were that easy." The security officer sighed. "We had some business to conduct."

"Without proper Starfleet uniforms? I saw you come in without them."

"We would have been deterred if we wore them."

"So, you _were_ picking up where you left off."

"No. We were following a lead concerning the recent conference and it required us to go anonymously. It's nothing you need to concern yourself with."

Magda clucked her tongue. "So you say. What happens next when you decide to open your heart? When Ali sees through the deception? When your careful plans come to nothing and everybody knows that she's the admiral's daughter?"

Alyssa decided to use Magda's words against her. It was the best answer. "We'll see what happens. We will worry about it if anything does."

~00~

 _After talking with Magda so frankly, Kirk always wondered what secrets Synprilox and her people held. After all, his previous ordinary mission turned into an extraordinary one. He found out more than he wanted to about one of his officers and of her past too. When his ship navigated away, she had been assigned to that planet and her son along with her. Easily forgotten, he knew, something he told himself often enough._

 _Ever determined to investigate, Kirk thought that this wasn't an unpleasant experience. Other than realizing how unwelcome his presence was and aware of the cruel undercurrent, he was enjoying his stay. The exotic flowers always perfumed the air, the walkways were cleaned, the people outwardly quiet…it was idyll and quite the rest he craved. Underneath all of that though laid his answers. Magda requested that he be careful with their secrets. He intended in every way to keep that a promise and use that soporific pretense as his disguise._

 _The next afternoon, he decided to have lunch with the chancellor. Normally, the admiral would find a stall and haggle for some readied food with his guards, a custom that remained until today. Having some elegant company this time was a pleasant change and one he relished. He saw Amelia Synprilox all day in the most professional capacity. Maybe he would get some answers when she was off-guard and more willing to speak her mind._

" _Admiral Kirk, this is a pleasant surprise," Chancellor Amelia Synprilox stated when their lunch began, promptly at noon. Luckily, save for the servants, they were alone in the dining hall. "Normally, I see you explore our wonderful planet and eat the local foods. I didn't expect your people to inquire about a meal meeting."_

" _It's always nice to have a change of scenery," Kirk admitted, waiting for the leader to touch her food per their customs. When she did, he started his consumption politely. "I was hoping you would also speak about the relations between the Federation and Synprilox."_

" _Complicated," Amelia confessed. "I wanted to wait until the latter part of your visit to bring this up, but it seems that things have come to a head."_

" _A Starfleet officer was brutally assaulted. I want answers."_

" _It is more common than you realize, Admiral Kirk. Now, have you tried the grapes? I am surprised that they have thrived on clay ground."_

 _Kirk ignored the slight. He took the proffered plate from the servant and nibbled on his portion. He had to keep his cool, he reminded himself. This was a minor headache compared to the other missions he had to endure. The leader was trying to ease into the conversation while he was being a bull in an antique china store. He had to be more delicate about the matter than she was and not be as casual and callous as she was._

 _Amelia Synprilox picked up the conversation in response to his demand. "Admiral, I cannot tell you whether or not Synprilox joining the Federation was a good thing or not. However, I am reaping its benefits as best as I can, most of it the protection from our enemies and the unity in which my planet desperately yearns for."_

 _Kirk nodded. "As it should be."_

" _Some people still find the events from our awakening to be an act of war against what was the norm," she continued. "It was a political and greedy move rather than a coup that destroyed the Mycoff family and one I did not take part in. Some blame me still for his execution and the eradication of his line even though my advisers had ordered the deed. Others believe that his son and nephew should have been spared out. However, the head of a serpent should be decapitated. It should not be able to rise and strike again."_

" _I quite agree." Kirk wasn't going to argue that point. He remembered the killings of Dawson and Jaegar Mycoff well enough. Their motives were of no consequence in the name of justice according to Synprilox authorities._

" _While some things are appreciated, others are not. A military presence is one of the things my people wish would…_ disappear _. I understand that it was part of the agreement with the Federation since we are a wild race. Indeed, many of your wonderful officers have quelled the uprisings this signing has started. It has lessened over time too. However, tongues will wag and people will use whatever means possible to protect what is theirs."_

" _Starfleet and the Federation have no intention of controlling Synprilox."_

" _Admiral, if you read the treaty carefully, you will see that they have in, as with other planets who are members too, that they have all rights to if we do not keep our end of the bargain."_

 _Kirk played stupid in this case. "I was not aware."_

" _Are you truly? Did you know that any other Federation planet can declare war on us if we do not comply?"_

 _Kirk had to stop himself, keeping a stoic face to hide his reaction. It was a true statement. However, it was only in extreme circumstances that the Federation would use their forces for the greater good and only in agreement with the others in attendance. That little fact could be manipulated and easily enough in this case. In a chaotic atmosphere such as Synprilox, anything was possible to ignite a blaze of rage and riot._

" _We all have to work in harmony," Kirk said to smooth the awkward scene out. "I believe any stipulation such as that would be set by the Federation as a last resort."_

 _The chancellor shook her head. "I would think so too. However, Admiral, we are a dangerous people. You know well enough what happens to Starfleet officers that nobody cares for."_

 _Kirk decided to leave it there. Already, this was becoming a tense chat. He was a fool to be almost accusatory to blame the leader of Synprilox for allowing her people to attack a Starfleet officer. Best to continue the meal with lighter topics, he mused, and he changed it immediately. He inquired instead about the tours (one was scheduled tomorrow at one of the mines), when he could meet her new cabinet without arguments and any hopes she had._

 _This went over better and their lunch ended on a high note. It was encouraging, but not so for the Federation's position. It was more precarious than Kirk imagined. He felt another report to Lori needed to be filed, despite his anger towards her. In the evening, he resolved that he would find a time to make the communication. For the time being, he bid the chancellor a fond farewell and gratitude for her generosity. He was escorted out the doors and walked with his guards to Alyssa's house._

 _The rest of the day was free. Since the tour for some of the mines was the next day, he had time to shake off the political cloak and relax before facing his user on Earth. It would be a boring afternoon nonetheless until he talk with Lori. However, his safety was his concern. Making his way back, he decided that he should continue his other resolution and work little by little with Alyssa. The savageness of the incident a couple of nights ago was still seared in his mind as treacherous. It would take a while to recover._

 _When Kirk arrived at the house, he felt himself being pushed back by sound. He re-entered, allowing the lyrics to flow past him. It was strange, he had to admit, and very delightful. He found its source in the kitchen, where someone was cooking. The person was unaware of the admiral at the rear. When the black-haired woman turned around though, her eyes met Kirk's in shock. The gasp from her lips stilled her and the two stared at each other for a while as the notes perfumed the air with an electric shock they both did not expect._


	9. In Your Eyes

It was a nerve-racking experience. Kirk rung the bell at the main entranceway of a Starfleet apartment complex for families, hoping that Alyssa would answer and ignore the summoning all at once. When she did buzz up from her apartment and allowed him inside to the secured lobby, he waited until she came to fetch him in the foyer. They then took the lift up a few floors and landed on hers in silence. She unlocked her door and motioned him in first as it whooshed aside.

It was a pleasant and comfortable lodging. The first space they approached, the living room, was opened up by the large bay window lighted with exotic plants and numerous places where items of comfort laid, whether it was old books or knick-knacks on shelves. The dimming lights from San Francisco Bay illuminated in such a way that colors skipped from one corner to another. A quick peek saw that to one side was Alyssa's office, followed by a narrow hallway inside that room that led to the occupants bedrooms.

Delicious smells from the nearby kitchen made it more welcoming, beckoning Kirk to come closer without Alyssa telling him to. He stepped forward boldly to feel at home, finding a seat on the couch next to McCoy as Alyssa excused herself. The doctor, who also had been invited, was highly amused by Kirk's obvious surprise. He waited until everyone was out of earshot before speaking.

"That dragon will be the death of me," McCoy announced.

Kirk raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"House calls," he replied. "Demanding, demeaning…"

"For who?"

"Alyssa. Who else?"

"What's the matter?"

"Well, _apparently_ , she went out on an adventure with a certain admiral and over exerted herself."

"I wonder how that happened."

"Yeah, I do too." The doctor's sarcasm was thick.

"Did Alyssa tell you why we were incognito?" Kirk inquired. He hoped that she did not gloss over the important details.

"Something to do with the Thyrians. She wasn't too specific."

Even though McCoy could be trusted, Kirk had to think of what to say without tipping anyone else off. He was unsure if Alyssa had extra security in her building and someone was listening somewhere outside in the hallway. "I did some… _digging_ …and found a few clues about our visitors."

"And you two had to investigate out of town?" McCoy was not happy to hear that his instructions to Alyssa had been totally ignored.

"She volunteered herself," Kirk offered.

"More like you told her to jump and she asked how high," the doctor spat out tartly.

"Risks of the trade. What can I say?"

"Jim, this is Alyssa's life we're talking about here. Don't be such a callous prick."

"Spare me your lectures, Bones We all have our assigned duties and one of them means ensuring the safety of those in this meeting. Alyssa knows this as well as I do."

McCoy mumbled under his breath about Starfleet not listening and higher-ranked officers doing their bidding. He then went into old flames and how they should be kept that way – extinguished and burnt to a crisp. He made it clear as well that he was not pleased about Kirk dragging Alyssa around. He knew what dangers she faced. Already, he saw that she was approaching another stage of her disease. It won't be long before she dove into it.

Kirk discounted the talk from McCoy, chalking it up with being protective of the woman they both cared for. Instead, his attention went to the music that came from the nearby kitchen. He heard laughter surround it, wrapping the sentiment with love, and had to check it out himself. He got up and followed the noise, disregarding McCoy's sudden advice to stay out of the way.

Alyssa was sitting in the dining room off the kitchen as Magda stood and cooked. She had been talking with the nursemaid, the two of them joking about something, but had stopped when the admiral entered. Magda continued her chores in silence while Alyssa stood up shakily from her chair. He immediately saw her need for help, taking her into his arms for a slow dance.

 _Love, I get so lost sometimes.  
_ _Days pass and this  
_ _Emptiness fills my heart.  
_ _When I want to run away,  
_ _I drive off in my car.  
_ _But whichever way I go,  
_ _I come back to the place you are._

 _All my instincts, they return.  
And the grand façade,  
So soon will burn…  
Without a noise, without my pride,  
I reach out from the inside…_

 _In your eyes, the light, the heat.  
In your eyes, I am complete.  
In your eyes, I see the doorway  
Of a thousand churches.  
In your eyes, the resolution  
Of all the fruitless searches._

 _In your eyes, I see the light  
And the heat (in your eyes).  
Oh, I want to be that complete.  
I want to touch the light,  
The heat I see in your eyes…_

It took all of their strength to not show their bubbling feelings, not to share a kiss or another embrace. It was enough to touch each other and not want to do more. When the song ended, Kirk guided Alyssa back to her seat and parted immediately, thanking her for the honor. When her pale face smiled in appreciation, he returned it with one of his own. He retreated without another word back to the living room.

McCoy was grouchier than ever. "What the hell are you doing?" he hissed. "I thought you two lovebirds were staying away from each other."

"Memories," Kirk replied. "It was…a wonderful night."

"The beginning of the end, you mean?"

"No, no. I achieved my goal that night. I would consider it to be the start of something better."

McCoy snorted. "Love is a fickle feeling. You cannot rely on it forever."

"But it's always there for us to grasp for fleeting moments."

"For a short time, yes. Don't be a fool again, Jim. Alyssa isn't going to live forever. There's a chance she could die soon. Why love again when it could be snatched away?"

Kirk sighed. "She's here now. I think anybody who cherishes for her has to take advantage of the time left to her."

An awkward silence remained and their attentions went elsewhere. The two watched the action in the kitchen and waited anxiously for their food (McCoy joked at one point that Magda was vengeful enough that their dinner would be poisoned). During that time, the women talked of trivial things and Alyssa had to yell at Ali a few times to do some schoolwork. When the child decided to sneak out of her bedroom one last instance, she headed to the living room, startled to see the two men preoccupied until her appearance. She hid it well though, smiling like her mother.

She greeted them cordially, but her eyes were on Kirk. "You're very close to my mother," she observed.

"I told you that I knew her for several years," he responded. The girl was picking on him again and that made him nervous since the truth was in front of them unspoken.

"Close friends don't dance to a love song," Ali insisted. She was teasing.

"They do if they care for each other," Kirk said.

"How much do you care for Mom?"

"Like many people, very much so. In recent years, it's been difficult to communicate."

"Where did you go earlier? I saw you and Mom come in without uniforms."

Kirk froze, an action that even made McCoy laugh out loud. The admiral thought fast. "We had to look into some things," the admiral coolly stated. "It regarded the recent conference."

"Is that why she's so tired?"

"Yes," McCoy interjected. He wanted Ali gone before she unearthed more information than what was necessary. "Don't you have someplace else you need to be?"

"It's just schoolwork," Ali complained. "It's _so_ boring."

"Ali!" Alyssa's sharp tone echoed from the dining room. "Get back in here!"

"Oops," the girl slipped, rushing away. It saved the pair from replying to questions they did not feel qualified to answer.

McCoy looked at Kirk again as Magda entered with drinks. "So, tell me how special this night was?"

The admiral shrugged his shoulders, taking the proffered glass. He waited until Magda left before speaking. "Very much. I didn't see that brick wall hit me though."

~00~

Love, I don't like  
To see so much pain,  
So much wasted, and this  
Moment keeps slipping away.  
I get so tired of working,  
So hard for our survival.  
I look to the time with you,  
To keep me awake and alive.

All my instincts, they return.  
And the grand façade,  
So soon will burn…  
Without a noise, without my pride,  
I reach out from the inside…

In your eyes, the light, the heat.  
In your eyes, I am complete.  
In your eyes, I see the doorway  
Of a thousand churches.  
In your eyes, the resolution  
Of all the fruitless searches.

In your eyes, I see the light  
And the heat (in your eyes).  
Oh, I want to be that complete.  
I want to touch the light,  
The heat I see in your eyes…

 _Alyssa had been holding onto a dish of some sort for dinner, suspended in her thickly-gloved hands. She kept hugging it, using it as a way to keep anchored and her concentration elsewhere other than this new electric shock. However, she could not help it. She stared at the admiral with her mouth opened._

 _She did not expect him so soon. It had been a difficult day for her. The security officer was so bored ordering her men around that she decided that her much-missed domestic chores were a way to keep her from screaming. She felt more alive, using her small store of energy she had to cook a meal before Magda overwhelmed herself. More than ever before, Alyssa blamed herself for the workload the nursemaid took on. Magda's job was to homeschool Ryder, but taking on the whole household these days was huge and greatly appreciated._

 _Magda had taken Ryder out for his lessons today and she had been alone for the afternoon…or so she had hoped. Kirk here so early? What a surprise that had been. It was a monkey wrench, but she could handle it._ _Honestly though, Alyssa did not have any more strength to entertain guests. She was also utterly taken aback by the friendliness the admiral again portrayed, his smile a ray of sunshine in this dark time. He did not mind that she was in the casual state, dress and all._

 _Alyssa controlled her shock and smiled, forced and very fake. After ordering the computer to pause her music, she greeted him carefully, inquiring about his day. He answered with the usual cordialness, stating that he just returned from the chancellor's lunch date and had a pleasant conversation with her. All the while, he was studying her with the utmost courtesy and curiosity. That much was obvious to Alyssa._

 _She had to interrupt the scrutiny. "Admiral, is there any way I can help you?"_

" _How about putting that down?" Kirk indicated the food._

 _Alyssa had not realized that she again had the full dish in her hands. "Oh. Yes. Well, I was – I mean, I felt –"_

" _Commander, put it down. Let's talk."_

" _Yes, Sir."_

 _There were the red tape once more. Without recognizing it, Kirk had lapsed into the typical addresses reserved between officers. It was no surprised since he had just returned from an important meeting. At the same time though, he had to curse himself. He was trying to make the women comfortable, not make his visit a burden to her. Already, she was a basket full of nerves trying to please him and to put on a good show. Being tended to by a ranking officer must have been embarrassing._

 _Alyssa obeyed him nonetheless, taking off her kitchen gear and following Kirk to her living room. They found seats on opposite ends of the room, an unconscious decision on both parts that made them think twice about speaking to the other. He made the first move, motioning his head to the casual atmosphere outside. Alyssa dared a peek and found nothing extraordinary to see._

" _What do you mean by that, Sir?" she asked bluntly. "What or who is out there?"_

" _A world I was not aware was falling apart until now," Kirk clarified, regretting his silent and confusing beginning. "A world I did not think would hate us."_

" _I don't blame their resentment," Alyssa carefully said. "We are quite brutal."_

" _Now, it's my turn to ask what you mean."_

" _Starfleet has ordered us to keep order at all costs. That means that every instance of insurrection must be deal with swiftly and with any method possible. Too many threats had been made to other Federation planets by Synprilox."_

" _Is that why they've kept you here for so long? That you can control this better than any other?"_

" _Not only that, Admiral. It was an exile that I accepted, remember? What choice did I have? My son did not belong on a starship. That was already proven."_

 _Kirk nodded. "Yes. I do recall."_

" _Besides, what choice did Synprilox have?" Alyssa challenged. She grew brazen and quite loud. "We ensured that the chancellor did not meet her death before her term ended. They needed protection, at this point from each other and the other planet that attacks them daily. We are facing a full-scale war, Admiral, and I am not only referring to civil war. It might not be now, but it's brewing and will come to a head soon. Your inspection tour is all just a farce, a circus show. It will do nothing to break this cycle of violence."_

 _The bitterness of the blow took Kirk's breath away. It also reinforced his opinion about being used. Lori had made this out to be a routine visit. She said nothing about the political atmosphere, the hatred for Starfleet and the crumbling pieces that would soon shatter. It was possible that she did not know, he previously mused, but Kirk doubted it. Lori was knowledgeable. She would have taken every pawn on the chessboard and trapped the king into a corner._

 _In this case, it would be all of them. Nogura had tested Alyssa's mettle and won her a position in hell. Now, Lori was proposing preposterous suggestions and demanding reports on items Kirk had no idea about. What was clear was in front of him. There was an open door that showered them with a world full of knowledge that would break Synprilox apart. Doubt once more nagged at the admiral and questions filled him and emotions squashed him like a steamroller._

Lori…the jealous one, the woman who helped to promote me…why is she putting me in this position? Why is she testing me now? What good can I do on Synprilox now that I know how despised we are? Will everyone I know and love be put to the bar too?

" _And you?" Kirk managed to spit out. He was still too shocked over Alyssa's words and the realizations that fell over him. "What about your career?"_

" _I do the best I can and all for the greater good," Alyssa replied. "My career is of no consequence when all of this is in danger. We know that it's the best that anyone can do."_

 _An evasive answer, but a good one regardless. It aroused his suspicions, especially after what Lori had previously questioned. "When will your duty station change?"_

" _That is an inquiry I would have asked of you, Jim. I told you that this is an exile. I do intend to keep it until my work here is completed."_

" _Do you not like it here?"_

 _Alyssa paused. Kirk shut the door to give them more privacy. He thought the gesture empty now. However, that did not matter much to him. It thrilled him to hear his name being stated by a woman who stood on the brink of disaster. She was so calm, he claimed to himself, and so secretive of her actions. Alyssa did not care that she was awarded. Her pathway to retirement was not in her book. Living so that the many could be helped…that was her goal._

 _But there was something else there too, a flicker in those hazel eyes that told Kirk a different story. Alyssa was conflicted about her personal and professional role. It was webbing together in such a way that one almost became the same. She was fighting within herself feelings that hurt and delighted her all at once._

 _The matter at hand required addressing though. "Oh, I do like it here," Alyssa finally said. "It can be very peaceful. I am used to its turbulent times too. It's just…"_

" _Just what, Alyssa?" Kirk heard the hesitation and motioned for her to continue._

 _Alyssa stood up, drawing closer to the admiral. She reached over to take his hands for comfort. "There's a timer. I don't know when it'll be set to zero, but I will. And I hope that you are never there to see it. I do not want you or anyone else to suffer."_

 _And then, she was gone. The warmth left behind on Kirk's skin was somehow alien and alive all at once. Hearing her bustle in the kitchen was enough to keep him away though. This was step closer to his goal. Whether or not it resulted in something else was another concept for another day. What mattered most was that the two drew closer to the flames. One would be engulfed and the other would slowly die another death._

* * *

 **Lyrics are from the Peter Gabriel song "In Your Eyes".**


	10. Out of Control

The conference began in earnest eagerness the next morning. Tired from the quiet affair the night before, Kirk yawned from the moment he entered and continued to do so discreetly until the recess around noontime. From what he heard, the terms had remained the same and noting changed. However, a name perked his interested and woke him up. The Thyrians were willing to join the Federation and conceded to many of their demands, but the one they truly wanted was the location and incarceration of one Jason Lattimer.

"What interest is he to you?" Admiral Cartwright asked. "This was not part of the original planning."

"A prisoner of ours," a Thyrian selectman replied. "His family escaped prison several years ago. Our customs demand that the sins of the fathers be punished by the sons."

"Why now and not when this escape happened? If these people sought refuge, our laws protect them, especially if they were born outside your domain."

The Thyrian man smiled weakly. "Oh? I was not aware. How would this work then?"

Cartwright went into a lengthy explanation about Federation laws. Since it was the ruling across the board that determined the final decision, there was no way to comply with the request. They would have to review the process in which the events happened from both sides, allow the person to speak for themselves at a trial, listen to the other side and review the evidence. Then, an eleven-member board (consisting of several members of the Federation, three of which had to be Thyrian in this case) would decide the verdict. Majority must rule.

Kirk listened to this with little interest, although he stored the name in his memory for later. It was interesting that this was now part of the negotiations. On the other hand, he had no time for Federation games and shuffling. The Thyrians were keen on nabbing this person. Now, he had to do everything in his power to find out why. It was too suspicious and quite out of the ordinary.

In this case, Alyssa was right. There was reason to believe that this was no peace treaty. The Thyrians truly had an ulterior motive in their dealings.

Eventually, Kirk spoke up after Cartwright finished his speech. "What parent's crime is so severe that one needs to be sent back to their home planet?"

"What business it is, it is ours," was the answer.

"Can I inquire into the nature of the crime?"

The same response was given. Kirk was frustrated, fixing his face so that he was diplomatically stoic. He cast his gaze to Cartwright, who tried to do the same as Kirk. He was none too pleased about the responses as well. Cartwright folded his hands and reminded the Thyrians in so many words that they needed to make concessions as well and that demands did not sit well with the Federation.

This was accepted by their guests. Lunch was called immediately afterward. Kirk took the opportunity to excuse himself for the afternoon since he was no longer required. After reviewing the schedule from the ever-present Riley, he decided that enough was enough anyway. His presence wasn't going to add anything to their advantage and the Thyrians were making him nervous. He had the option to take refuge with Alyssa, but did not think it wise with Riley eying him warily and following him back to his office.

"Would you need me to have your meal sent up to you, Sir?" Riley questioned as they entered.

"Not yet." Kirk was not ready for food yet. He had other thoughts. "Are you sure you went through the Federation library, Riley?"

" _Sir_?" Riley was baffled.

"For information on Thyria. Are you sure you went through the whole archive?"

"Of course, Admiral. I even had the staff search their databases and find the material."

"I see. Did you return everything?"

"Yes, Sir. Do you need me to borrow them again?"

"That won't be necessary. Thank you."

Kirk dismissed Riley and sat down to write his reports, relieved to hear that his theft was not noticed. The more he pressed the matter in his thoughts, the more he held that things weren't not making sense. Another superpower planet, isolating its people, strict laws and demanding delegates…it seemed like a normal day in Federation parleying. At the same time, something nagged at the admiral. Ever since Alyssa mentioned it, he had been distrustful of the Thyrians. The only way he could link them to some sort of nefarious scheme was to find the same person they had been searching for.

 _Jason Lattimer._

This person would surely have the answers. Also, at least they finally have a name that most likely was linked to Hugh Lattimer. It was a good start. Kirk wasn't sure if Alyssa knew yet or not, but was certain she or her subordinates recorded the name. The way she monitored the sessions were discreet and careful. She would not have missed a detail like that.

 _Alyssa…_

Thoughts went back to dinner the night before. After explaining to McCoy some of that special night (earning him an eye roll and a snort from the doctor), the food was served. Magda had always been a great cook and proved it again. The talks at that table were animated and quite enjoyable. Ali was the star, he saw, and quite the attention grabber. Both Alyssa and McCoy were correct in saying that she was intelligent and could see everything at all angles.

That alone was most annoying and exciting to see all at once. Kirk had been scared to attach himself to the family once more. However, seeing his own daughter name off figures from the top of her head, analyze in several approaches and conclude perfectly had been a source of pride. More than once, Kirk had to hide his unprofessional smirk and coughed a few times to hide it. McCoy noticed it and had to elbow the admiral to get him to cease.

After the meal, Alyssa walked Kirk and McCoy to the main entranceway downstairs. She chatted inanely in the meantime, refusing to develop the conversation about the Thyrians and about her health. Otherwise, she was as normal as she could be, albeit more tired than usual. In the end, she hugged McCoy goodbye and kissed him on the cheek and waved at Kirk. The doctor had the good sense to leave immediately, thinking his friend would do the same. Once he rounded a corner though, the admiral turned to the security officer.

The two sought a little privacy. Alyssa motioned to a corner that no camera touched. Kirk followed, allowing the shadows to hide them. They embraced each other, drawn closer together until Alyssa's head rest on Kirk's shoulder comfortably. He buried his face in her black and white hair, allowing her scent to envelope him. It had been too long, oh so long…

"You know, we shouldn't be doing this," Alyssa mentioned as she lifted her head.

Kirk kissed her as a response. She returned it, using his neck as leverage to pull him where their facial skin made more than lip contact. Before they both knew it, they were catching the other tug at clothes and soon stopped. When they separated, their hands lingered, fingers brushing the others' with trepidation. No, the relationship was not over, but they were as shy about it as ever. It felt like it never had been broken and that they took a long vacation.

"You best get going," the admiral suggested. "Ali will wonder."

"So will Magda," she admitted.

"That nosy still?" Kirk was amused.

"Worse," Alyssa replied. "She think it'll be our ruin."

"I did not know I was someone's ruin."

"We also supposedly fell from grace, whatever that is."

"I think I like it then."

Alyssa smiled. "So do I, Jim. So do I."

Waking from his silly daydream as someone cleared their throat, Kirk noticed that Riley was standing before his desk. His features seemed worried, but he was calm in the unknown crises nonetheless. The admiral knew that look, standing up to face his aide. Something was seriously wrong.

"Security reports an attack on the Thyrian delegates," Riley announced. "An assailant tried stabbing one of them."

The admiral instinct kicked in, immediately believing this to be farce. It wasn't real, he told himself, but had to push aside the notion that it was a dream. "Any wounded?"

"The leader sustained superficial scratches," Riley reported. "The rest have been quarantined in their quarters. Captain Elma has stationed men in and out of their rooms instead of them using the Thyrians' own people. The man in question was killed by the Thyrians."

Kirk grabbed his jacket. "Stay here."

Riley was about to argue and soon found himself locked in the office from the outside as Kirk rushed out. The admiral did not care. His first stop would be the scene of the crime and then Sickbay. If Starfleet's security did not check the place out or even interrogate the any witnesses first, then he would. The attacker was dead, but someone surely would have information about him.

It did not take long to find the site, down a floor and yards from the kitchens. Already, it was secured and onlookers were chased away and discouraged to watch. Alyssa was not there, but several of her men were. A few of them drew the scene on their tablets or took samples from the floor and walls. The place was covered in Thyrian blue blood and human red. There was no doubt that this was a confrontation from an Earth humanoid. Kirk recognized the smell anywhere.

He pulled aside one man. "What happened?" he barked.

The lieutenant shook, but answered. "The Thyrians were walking to the cafeteria for lunch, Admiral," he explained. "Out of the blue, one of us went to attack them."

"What do you mean, one of you?"

"It was Commander Gomez, Sir. He was the security detail for this hallway. He was chosen by Captain Elma since he was senior in the sector. He also had some knowledge of the Thyrian customs. They were comfortable with him being stationed there."

"Was there any indication that he was bias?"

"No, Sir. It was strange though. It was like he suddenly snapped. He took out his knife and just…I don't know. He went crazy. He was irrational and screaming curses to ghosts. Nobody could stop him. He stabbed Lieutenants Jenkins and Fender when they tried holding him back. The Thyrians were faster though. When Gomez went for them and he scratched their leader, they killed him instantly."

"Did he indicate that he was angry in any way?"

"No, Admiral. Gomez was excited about the conference. He wanted to be a part of history. He felt that reaching new planets and making peace was for the best."

"Any drinking? Smoking?"

"None, Admiral. I can reassure you of that. Captain Elma keeps a tight leash on all of us unless it's shore leave. I remember that we had lunch before coming here. That was it."

"Thank you, Lieutenant." Kirk released the officer. "Carry on."

 _Strange and stranger._ The admiral proceeded to Sickbay below and was blocked by several men upon entry. They weren't the regular security teams and wore the typical signs of being office members.

"I'm sorry, Admiral Kirk," one said quickly, cornering him disrespectfully in the lift. "Orders from Admiral Cartwright. Nobody is to come in or out without his express permission."

Kirk was flabbergasted, enough that he did not reprimand the offender. He had never been denied access to an area before. Silently, he took these orders and took the lift back up to his office to at least apologize to Riley. There was nothing he could do. Nobody would dare to contradict what Cartwright stated and bluff their way through it. The game was on though. If he could corner the admiral and reverse the order for him, then he might have a chance to solve this mystery.

It does not seem right for a random security officer to fly off the handle, especially one of Alyssa's. Kirk had seen her in action and was aware of how strict she was in choosing her people and how they act under her command. Now, this painted her in the worst light. It was a savage tragedy that twisted into a serious plot. Kirk needed to find out more.

~00~

 _After ejecting that electric shock from Alyssa, it didn't take long for Kirk to go to his room to contact Lori. She would have been in her office the time he was calling and probably would have been insanely busy working. However, he did not care. Synprilox was much more important than her inane duties. It was now a matter of life and death and what he can do to stop the madness before it escalated further._

 _Lori did not answer for some minutes and kept pressing the button that told Kirk that she was not to be disturbed. He sighed. It was aggravating to have to redial the coordinates of her location and to get a hold of her in her office through many operators. Eventually, he told the last one to keep the signal until Lori decided to connect. Once a half hour passed like this, she finally answered. Her smile hid every little lie._

" _Jim! What do you have?" The question seemed so coldly formal for one supposedly happy to hear from him._

 _Kirk held his tongue against all of his anger and anguish. He urged himself to confess his developing feelings for Alyssa, but he held back, stating the facts as he saw it. "Serious violence against Starfleet officers. Revolt and revolution openly discussed. Chancellor Synprilox dismissing the problems and sweeping them under a rug."_

 _Lori laughed like it was all a joke. "Jim, Jim, Jim…I thought you knew. You_ were _the captain who initiated contact. You would have seen this mess. Then again, I imagined that you researched Synprilox's latest problems. I seemed to have underestimated you."_

" _What do you mean?" Kirk was easily upset by the last statement. He thought he had seen everything._

" _Do you not see what is underneath the riches and masked balls of Synprilox?" she asked him. "Do you not feel that its chancellor is trying to conserve her life as long as she can and prevent her people from using any material to kill her? Everything the Federation begged for, she conceded. Her Freedom Riders are no better. They too agreed to the terms and conditions and did not read the whole document. But they like their advantages and riches too much. That's why they've done nothing to combine the two passion together – common people and greater good._

" _They're all greedy, Jim. Chancellor Synprilox will especially do anything to get her way, especially after a saving grace such as yourself swooped in and rescued her for enjoying her predecessor's material goods. She's done a great job of hiding her disappointment, Jim, but she's a politician teetering on a dying world that's slowly draining of people. One day, maybe now or maybe a hundred years from now, Synprilox will collapse under its own weight. War is on the horizon."_

" _I actually term it civil war fueled by external forces, Lori. You make it sound like they are more players than Synprilox. Like there's another world out there that has a personal vendetta against them."_

" _There could be. Centuries ago, there was a planet, name unknown. It's a secretive place, hence its mythological circumstances. Our sensors have picked them up faintly. They're five lightyears away from Synprilox, in the Zulu Quadrant. According to legend, their weapons are superior and their anger is bountiful."_

" _I was not aware that Synprilox was being attacked. I was not informed of this at the briefing before my departure."_

" _I'm surprised nobody mentioned it to you, especially Commander Elma. Yes, Synprilox is undergoing a series of radiation attacks that break through their life support bubble. We theorize it is this mysterious planet, but I doubt it. Whoever is it though, they're pretty damned good. They've almost reached the capital and no Federation ship can locate its source. Half of Synprilox has been decimated and its refugees are crowding the cities."_

 _Kirk almost lost his breath, he was that taken by surprise. Lori was supposed to inform him of all issues with Synprilox if she knew. All he was aware of was an inspection tour to ensure all points had been followed. He was not supposed to be preventing war. Now, he realized with a sinking heart that there was a chance that an attack would occur. What then? Would he have to have Scotty beam him up and they run for it? Or would he have to fight for his life and take anyone he could with him? Was there even a procedure for evacuation?_

 _He faced Lori squarely, swallowing a lump in his throat. "And you now want me to not only watch out for an officer's actions, but also to prevent a war?"_

 _Lori only smiled, folding her hands tightly. "I'll leave this up to you, Jim. I am relying on you to do the right thing for Starfleet and the Federation. Ciana out."_

 _She cut the communication abruptly, leaving him conflicted. Kirk honestly did not know what to do. He sat there staring at the black screen, wishing that Lori would return and tell him the truth for once. She did not confirm or deny anything and only divulged information he should have received. She only added fuel to a fire. Only this time, he was the one who was going to be cooked if he did not watch his step._

 _Orders were orders though. This was officially still a five-month inspection tour. Now though, he had to rethink his strategy and without Lori. According to the Prime Directive, he would not do anything to advance a civilization and interfere with their social and political affairs if they bordered on the former point. In this case, Kirk was more than willing to take as many people to another location and/or to have war declared on the aggressor. It depended on the Federation._

 _He wracked his brain for a clear plan that would preclude any Federation decision until a meeting was called for further action. Priority would be to the millions of civilians anchored to Synprilox. Then, it would be Starfleet officers, of which he counted one hundred and fifty so far. With an ironic twist of his lips, Kirk thought of Spock. As his old friend had stated many times, the needs of the many always outweighed the needs of the few or the one._

 _In this case, Kirk's needs never mattered. With so explosive of a setting, he would have to set those aside. The fate of this world's people and the Starfleet officers were now in his hands._


	11. Fitting the Pieces Together

Kirk decided that Riley could wait for the apology and headed in another direction. Pissed that Cartwright would deny him access to the incident details, he headed to his office. However, he had to wait several minutes before Cartwright entered and checked in with his aide. By then, the admiral allowed Kirk in and offered him a seat and a drink. Kirk declined the latter and waited until Cartwright sat himself. The two stared at each other for a brief moment, each on the other side of the desk, before Kirk began.

"Lance, I need in," he said bluntly. He wasn't going to sugarcoat it. "The Thyrians –"

"We cannot allow it this time, Jim," Cartwright interrupted. He sighed. "Look, if I allowed you control over every crises, everyone will think that you're the instigator. Sit back for a while. Wait for the next meeting."

"I take it it's been cancelled this afternoon?"

"Yes, and tomorrow's has been delayed as well. The Thyrians did not appreciate the assault on Starfleet officers and the assassination attempt."

"Is that what it's called now?"

"Well, Jim, what would you name it?"

"Sabotage."

Cartwright raised an eyebrow. "What proof do you have?"

"Eyewitness reports. Granted, it was obvious that Commander Gomez attacked. However, his fellow officers say his attitude suggested otherwise."

"I would keep that quiet if I were you."

Kirk immediately understood. It never made much sense to not follow through with a clue, but he had to obey all orders. He started talking about Gomez again to expand on what he knew, but Cartwright cut him short each time. Apparently, this too was being swept under a rug.

"What will happen to Captain Elma then?" he asked Cartwright instead. He was relieved to see that this was regarded.

"She too is under investigation," Cartwright replied. "She was forced out of light duty because she's the best at what she does and that is where she'll go back to until the conclusion. She's their leader and has earned her right otherwise. Besides that, Jim, Starfleet cannot have her moping around some construction base when her talents are useful elsewhere. Obviously, it's clear now that what the records shows might save her. Jim, she has a career and children. She cannot afford to lose those."

"Is she really moping around, Lance, or she is really ill? Could this really be considered a mistake when Starfleet has done nothing except wrong her?"

"Right now, Captain Alyssa Elma stands as an error Starfleet made years before and one that we are trying to right after almost twenty years. Because she was frightened into silence by Admiral Uriah and the initial mission to Synprilox, we cannot afford her to be freed. Rehabilitated easily, yes, but there's a chance that she could destroy the time continuum if we let her loose. With the work she's also done for the Federation, she is a liability and one we need to watch carefully."

"She's a human being too, Lance. You cannot imprison her to a dictated career and expect her to work like a machine, watching her every move. She's proven to be loyal unlike her captors. She has to break free from the past and grow within Starfleet."

"Jim, Captain Elma also accepted the fate Admiral Nogura decreed. She could have been court martialed if she disobeyed orders. She proved her merit and rose in rank."

"For what purpose though? Because she was a love slave to an admiral working with our sworn enemy of the time? There is no compensating for that."

Cartwright was speechless by Kirk's audacity. For five minutes, he stuttered out strange incomprehensible sounds, but soon found his composure. "I'll forgive you the comment, Jim. This issue with the captain is a sensitive one and has been since her arrival back to Earth the year before, more so than ever before."

"She caused a sensation before," Kirk argued. "Why is she still an issue? As you've said, it's been almost twenty years. I would have thought Starfleet intelligent enough to properly handle its blunders."

Cartwright sighed. "From the moment of her arrival, Captain Elma's position was unique. Her links to important persons involved with the original coup is notorious. She has been proven innocent of all charges, I'll give you that, but her loyalty has been questioned several times, most notably by Admiral Ciana. She was also a witness to the explosion of Synprilox, which also makes a huge difference."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, despite the difficulties and the events she took part in, there have been some notorious instances where her twenty-first century methods raised some eyebrows. The captain also uses unorthodox methods when dealing with prisoners and never follows the book. I feel it was a fault of a certain former commanding officer of hers."

"Guilty as charged." Kirk didn't deny it.

"Regardless of these obstacles," the admiral continued, exasperated, "her experience merits some mention and she should have the highest positions, hence pulling her from Louisiana. She's tough as nails and can get the job done. Her running around Louisiana was unacceptable and she would have defied orders if she remained there. Ill or not, she needs to do her duty. This incident she will answer for because of the responsibility given to her."

"As Gomez's commanding officer, she can. She is not personally accountable for the incident."

"She put herself forward. She is also willing to cooperate in the investigation. For the time being, before she's assigned to the incoming cadets, she has been sent home. Her daughter is schooled here with the other children at this time and will remain there too, as Captain Elma agreed. Magda Mycoff has been dismissed from the premises due to the danger she might pose to the Thyrians."

"I see." Even as Ali's father, Kirk wanted to fight Magda's disappearance. Instead, he pursed his lips tighter to keep from blurting out the truth.

"You're taking a keen interest in the captain and her affairs," Cartwright observed. "Is there anything you're not telling me?"

"My life is an open book," Kirk volleyed. He wasn't going to broadcast the affair, but he was defensive about it, hoping Cartwright did not catch on yet. "The captain was a security officer on my ship years previously before being assigned to Synprilox. She also housed me on my inspection tour in 2270, just after my promotion."

"You stayed with her for an additional Earth month. It caused some gossip down here."

"Synprilox was also a complex situation and required some work on my part. It was dictated to my report to Admiral Ciana."

"Yes, well…the report she stored is now locked in a computer file. Nobody has been able to find it."

"There are several files she stored on that computer, Lance. Synprilox's upheaval was not the only one we lost upon her death."

Cartwright sighed. He was onto something and hinting as much, Kirk felt, and the trail was growing hotter. It was true that the rumors of his relationship with Alyssa preceded him. Lori had informed him. She wasn't too pleased, but she expected it. They weren't a couple until much later, but Lori was quite jealous of anyone who had a hold on Kirk. She was possessive and thought her catch quite the one for that day. Nogura had used her to snarl him and he was tangled in a web he still could not escape.

Kirk's mind imagined _that_ relationship. The marriage with Lori had been a farce. A one-year agreement was too short and bittersweet and full of issues they could not resolve, although the months had been what he required after losing the _Enterprise_. Granted, his feelings for Lori clouded whatever he had held with Alyssa. It was a hellish torture to watch her die in the transporter accident. He was bitter for months, feeling that he should have done something more to save her. Even regaining the _Enterprise_ briefly did not heal that wound.

Besides that, it was still an old habit to deny everything and to never tell anyone that he was the keeper of Lori's earthy goods when she died. She had not changed her final will, bidding Kirk to dispose of her personal effects to her parents and to retain certain devices, one of them about Synprilox. She left him no way to access them though, leaving him clueless to their contents until that determination surfaced. With Cartwright so persistent, he would have to figure out what Lori truly left behind.

"Jim, just stay out of it," Cartwright ordered. "I'll talk about anything else with you, but not the assassination attempt. Not this time."

Kirk nodded evenly, offering nothing more. Considering himself dismissed, he exited. He went to his office to finish up some work, hoping to shove any suspicion off of him. He even apologized to Riley for his behavior, offering the rest of the afternoon off in exchange for the inconvenience of being locked up. Riley was hesitant and it took some time before he accepted the expression of regret and the liberation. He even cleaned and straightened out some things before leaving.

This left the admiral alone at last. He finished up and departed as well. He did his customary walk around the grounds outside before the trek to his apartment for some time alone to think. After he arrived there, he checked for any messages and found one from McCoy. It was cryptic and quite unlike him. The ending asked him to meet him at some bar downtown that he favored. Kirk didn't have much time for pleasantries and debated on whether or not it was worth it to deal with the wit and sarcasm. In the end, he decided that he might as well go.

Donning less than formal clothing, Kirk set out for the requested location and arrived in time for Happy Hour. He saw the doctor at his normal corner table. While the lights were dimmer there, they still had the level of secrecy that McCoy generally enjoyed. Besides, he was a regular at this particular establishment. No waitress was going to snitch on them. McCoy had all of them in his pockets.

"As they would say in the twentieth century, 'What gives?'" Kirk sat down, ordering his usual.

"A message from a friend," McCoy replied. He quickly downed some bourbon. "I consider telling you to watch your back is an understatement though."

 _Alyssa._

"You've got no idea," Kirk said as a female server dropped off his glass. He sipped. "Cartwright is onto something."

"That too is an understatement. He's suspicious of everything."

"Not only that, Bones. He suspects that there is something between me and Alyssa and that I was defending her. She's also being held accountable for the actions of her men because she stepped forward. It's possibly a way to deflect some of the attention elsewhere."

"Well, isn't there a way to prove that you're as innocent as she is? That she has as much involvement as you? Jim, you're not going to be able to hide that relationship much longer. It's going to come out."

Kirk blew out frustrated air, thinking. For the moment, he put aside his love for Alyssa and wandered back to Lori. Cartwright might be on the trail for those files at this point. He was as protective of them as he was of the tape he stole about Thyria and imagined them being destroyed to avoid offending anyone. Hints about past relationships and Synprilox always made him nervous, especially now.

When he pondered back to the war between Synprilox and that unknown planet and the civil war they also suffered, links began to get connected. If he could get into that one device he knew was about Synprilox, they would have a goldmine. Lori wasn't stupid. Leaving them to Kirk was no mistake, albeit it was annoying that she wasn't direct and never told him anything outright.

"I think we might have something," the admiral allowed, "but we need a master at computers to gain access. Lori left behind some…some handheld computers with internal storage files that I did not have a password for. She was very secretive and did not enlighten me on their contents except the labels she wrote on them."

McCoy almost coughed out his drink. Even in his drunken state, he was highly bothered. "You've got be kidding me? We've got to call that green-blooded, goddamn –"

"Yes, yes." Kirk was in no mood for the theatrics. "We needs to make a special call to Vulcan."

~00~

 _Kirk was in a daze. After his conversation with Lori, he found himself wandering Alyssa's home, searching for direction and a way to dispel his animosity and stress. This was a huge order he would have to fulfill and he would need all of the help he could muster. If what Lori is saying is true, then they would have to move thousands of people who had only known the underwater world as their own. Resettling them would be a diplomatic issue that would require some Federation help._

 _That could wait until morning though. While all sorts of schemes churned in his mind, he needed a peaceful place to find an inner quiet for sleep and to put the issue down. If he attempted any action tonight, he would incite panic that the chancellor and the Freedom Riders would not appreciate. It would be gradual, once Starfleet evaluates the situation and determines that the needs of the many outweighed whatever petty concessions they wanted out of Synprilox…or so he hoped._

 _The front gardens offered him that aura. Kirk somehow managed to get outside to sit amongst the multicolored flowers and trees, thankful that Alyssa offered him that pleasure. He inhaled and then exhaled some of the aroma, working out what he had seen so far. Away from his anguish, he was better able to plan carefully. He only required a good time to bring it up with someone. Alyssa seemed to be the most logical choice. She would know the planet in and out and might already have something in mind._

 _It was maybe an hour later that Alyssa reappeared. She had wrapped herself in a robe to cover her indecency (excluding her bare feet), carrying two cups of what smelled like coffee. She handed one to Kirk and sipped the other wordlessly as she took a seat. It was like their previous conversation did not happen. She most certainly was fairly calm and did not indicate she was upset about it._

" _Your privacy means a lot to me, Admiral," she began carefully. "Channels are often monitored and used by the wrong people. Admiral Ciana should also be cautious of what she says too. I have warned her enough times."_

 _Kirk was speechless. "I thought communications were private."_

" _Not here," Alyssa clarified. "Luckily for you, I managed to cover it up so the local policing force didn't notice anything. The chancellor and her advisers will not miss a thing either."_

" _I thought that privacy was held more precious than security?"_

" _It's the opposite here, Admiral. I would have thought…"_

" _Thought what?"_

" _I mean, I would have thought you picked up on Synprilox's quirks. This is no ordinary planet."_

 _An awkward silence stood between them once more. Kirk could not take it. He sought to cut through that and at least try to be a friend, enough to form a partnership. He had done to so many in the past under his command and succeeded. Why was this so different? How could one woman be so hard to reach? Wasn't she easier to talk to when she admitted to be a woman of the past? When they were attacked and did not have a chance at survival?_

 _For the first time since their initial greeting, he felt tongue-tied. It was ridiculous. He, of all people, was always at ease with anyone he met, even though he pinned some as pains in the ass. He prided himself on that reputation, even though some of it dictated that he was a ladies' man and did not resist using his charms to get what he wanted. This security officer, this young woman of nearly thirty, took his heart and everything with it. Her quiet demeanor, her acceptance, just everything about her made him insanely wild._

" _Alyssa," he tried, his voice shaky and weak._

 _Immediately, she got up and put a finger to his lips to shush him. It was a daring move and one so inappropriate that Kirk did not move to discipline her. "Admiral – Jim – don't worry about it right now. Whatever you're worried about, there's always a solution for. We'll get through this together, no matter what."_

 _And perhaps that had been the best approach, with so cool and gentle of a gesture. With them so close together, Kirk resisted the opportunity to make the next move and stilled his hands. Whatever Alyssa was referring to, she was of the same mind as Kirk. However, attraction most likely was not on her mind. It was comforting him and that alone made staying with her more worthwhile._

 _Eventually, Alyssa excused herself, stating that she had some things to take care of. She picked up her cup and offered her services whenever Kirk requested her. Her second disappearance created a new void, an ache that Kirk sought to fill. With the tranquility so endless, his heart sought to keep in tune._

 _He looked to the black skies instead. The night was still in its adolescence. He had hours yet to ponder this new development. So many had happened tonight and all of them hardly fit into the puzzle he was working on. Already, he was seeing Synprilox, Lori and Alyssa fit in there, but their pieces were unintelligible. It would take more sleuthing and wit to keep on his toes. Kirk also wished he would be worthy of this challenge too._


	12. Time to Make Plans

Kirk had a lucky break. Spock was finalizing a visit with his mother (the ambassador being away on a mission) and had been monitoring his communications en route to his next assignment when the admiral contacted him. Immediately, Spock accepted the challenge, saying nothing more about the Thyrian council and the recent events he was sure to have heard of. He only promised to be in San Francisco by the next afternoon and to meet Kirk after his arrival. McCoy would also join them if there was a chance.

The next set in his business plans involved Alyssa. After their conversation at the bar, the admiral and the doctor departed and set off for home by foot. Kirk waited until he and McCoy parted far enough to make the next journey, watching as the doctor entered his lodgings. He then took a transport to the Starfleet off-base neighborhood and trekked through the back alleyways until he reached her front door. He rang the bell and waited for permission to come in. When he received it, he entered and sat in a corner chair away from the cameras and waited for Alyssa to retrieve him.

She came a few minutes later. They greeted each other formally and proceeded to the lift, still pretending to be talking official business. This continued until they reached her apartment and the door locked itself behind them. The relative safety of Alyssa's living room offered them privacy. The lights were dimmed and the place was unusually quiet. The curtains were drawn. Ali was most likely in bed.

"How was Ali's first day without Magda?" Kirk asked. He figured that Ali had the nursemaid all to herself after Ryder went to the Academy and it might have devastated her to have to be alone.

"Oh, as well as it should be." Alyssa sighed, showing how much of a chore the day was. "Ali spend two hours debating with Cartwright about why she should have Magda with her. When it was explained that she was a threat to security, Ali countered and said that she had been staying with her the whole time and could vouch for her innocence. It was a damn nightmare."

"That must have given Lance a headache."

"I'm sure it did. I got one hearing about it from him. Cartwright left her with the other children and told her to deal with it. He was not very polite about it and pulled me into his office to complain about it. He and I also discussed Magda. Ali was pretty sullen afterward."

"Got bored afterward?"

"She had no stimulation and was sent home early because she was considered surly. She mouthed off her the headmistress of the daycare and was petulant when asked to do some classwork. I had to leave myself to take her home. We already had a long time and she's been grounded to her room for the week. She's sleeping now."

Kirk was amused and tried keeping a straight face, changing the topic. "And Magda? Do you know where she is?"

Alyssa looked squarely at Kirk. "I was going to ask you the same thing. Do you have any information?"

"I have none," he offered honestly. "Lance informed me that Magda had been removed and you had agreed to Ali being schooled with the other children."

"I authorized no such thing!" Magda was supposed to supplement!" Alyssa was enraged, throwing her hands in the air. "I told the admiral to send her home if he could. _Here_. There's enough security in this place to keep an eye out on her. Our outbound communications are recorded, cameras are everywhere and she can't leave without someone seeing her."

"Lance might think otherwise," the admiral reminded her. "He's shrewd. He wouldn't do this without just cause."

Alyssa swore under her breath and said something about not trusting high-ranking officers. Kirk agreed with her inwardly, but was not sure about her reasoning because he was unsure himself of what was going on now that a few factor was computed into the equation. First, it was the assassination attempt. What happened to that security officer that drove him to insanity? Kirk did not think it likely that security officers would cover for each other, especially in an offense so serious. And the crime did not fit the offender.

The issue with Cartwright also had to be resolved. If the admiral was directing everyone in a different directions while capturing the innocent, then what was he hiding? Why was he denying Kirk entry into an issue that he was a part of? And if Kirk wasn't allowed business into anything regarding the Thyrians, then why he was at the conference? Was his appearance just a farce?

Kirk took Alyssa into his arms. "We'll find Magda," he promised. "Her name will be cleared."

"I hope so." She sighed once more, returning the favor. "She didn't have anything to do with Synprilox being lost. Her brother was partially to blame."

"The family had participated for generations in the genocide and corruption. Yes, he was partially to blame."

"She denounced it, Jim. Magda washed her hands of the matter years ago. She watched her own son lose his head for this and didn't even blink an eyelash to save him."

"I've heard it myself, Alyssa. Magda said it enough times."

"Jim, what can we –"

Kirk put a finger to Alyssa's lips gently. "Stay here. I'll update you tomorrow."

"I don't feel that Ali is safe in there alone," she complained. Her protest was mostly of a mother who worried for her child, but it also rang with the voice of a security officer who had experienced too much already. "Can you keep an eye out for her please? You don't need to be near her. Just check on her once in a while."

The easy answer was on Kirk's tongue. Yes, he'd do it. He'd do it a million times and never hesitate to stop. However, something inside of him begged him to reconsider the offer. Not only did it seem to indicate favoritism, it also might lead someone on a trail they did not want anyone on. Cartwright suspected something. Who else would?

"I'll do the best I can," the admiral decided.

Alyssa accepted this. She knew his best would always ensure survival. "What now, Jim? You're doing something. But what? What exactly are you planning?"

"Going through old reports. Nothing new. Don't worry about it."

"I am beginning to believe that this means a little more than plain digging. What do you have?"

"It means that the less people who know, the better off we'll all be. I'll update you tomorrow. Get some sleep."

The security officer never liked defeat. She was annoyed at Kirk for not keeping her in the loop this time around. However, she had to trust him. There were so many instances she could to cop out, to give herself a reason not to put faith in the man. He had her best interests at heart. Besides, being Ali's father from a distance, he would try his hardest to protect her. Alyssa never cared about herself. Only her children mattered.

She planted her face in his neck and took a deep breath. "This is beginning to sound like a conspiracy within the Fleet. And you know I can't stand those. Not back then and never now. Let's hope this is just smoke on the water and that our fears are nothing."

Kirk kissed her head. "I hope for the same."

~00~

 _The next few weeks passed in a relative peace, but one that demanded an awkward routine. It meant a lot of surveying, walking around and even talking. In the end though, plans always fell flat and then rose back up to the drawing board. Regardless, the admiral was never going to give up. He had a scheme in mind and was willing to talk it over with the chancellor and her advisers once he had something more solid. It was more of a matter of timing and seeing the obstacles and factors than anything else._

 _Kirk had yet to view the damage caused by the mysterious planet that was so far away and was inching closer with their aim. However, he had to slowly work through his plans. Without a way to escape at the moment, he remained in the capital, listening to gossip from a people used to this chaos and continuing his inspection tour when so many of them hated his presence. He did not voice these concerns to anyone yet, pretending that he was only inquisitive about this and that instance. Surely, someone would catch up sometime to his curiosity._

 _And someone did, only it was someone he expected. Alyssa had caught up with Kirk on his way to the marketplace on a warm, sunny afternoon. Magda and Ryder were some feet behind her, pretending to be interested in some food (well, Ryder was hungry and begging for a treat), and she blended in. When she reached the admiral, she was subtle about it. While her back to the populace who was watching, she was able to face him._

" _Watch your back," she warned. She picked up some unknown fruit and sniffed it before bagging it. "There are some wolves that'll like to see you dead."_

" _Have I made that many waves?" The admiral was highly amused._

" _Starfleet has been surfing higher," Alyssa replied, moving away._

 _Kirk did not think of it until a few days later. He was on yet another excursion, this time in a factory. While manual labor was mostly a thing of the past, some machines cannot do the work a man can. Synprilox showed the way in the most positive manner. For smaller gears and intricate designs for products to be traded, they used artisans to create the patterns and parts, making it more unique._

 _What made it more interesting was that the metal and precious stones they melted and used for their super weapons was now being redirected to these items. It was a work of art to see the weapons, Kirk recalled. Now, the deadly material winked from the green sunlight in the windows into their eyes. He had to shield his when he watched the production, listening to the monotone voice of the chancellor's new aide. The admiral could not remember his whole name._

 _Whoever he was, he was a snooze and most certainly an awkward choice. Indeed, this personal assistant could hardly control himself. He was so passionate about the new economy that he lost himself in the lecture, his tone pitching higher when he spoke lovingly about a new item or assembly line. His greatest interest laid in the shelving pieces most of the politicians favored, most of them figurines of animals and sometimes plant life._

 _Kirk tried the best he could to move forward and appear animated. He hid his yawn behind his hand a few times, politely smiling when someone looked his way. His mind screamed to be released. All he had been doing for a month was checking out the capital and surrounding small towns and observing the best they had to offer. He had yet to see the destruction the so-called war was wrecking on Synprilox. He wanted action and a way to save these people, not how they can stabilize the economy a crumbling planet._

 _Losing himself to daydreaming, the admiral followed along blindly and narrowly avoided stepping on others' heels, his guide's most of all. When he was abruptly shoved to the cold ground and garbled words named as assassin, he had to see what was happening. He tried standing up, but was immediately covered by his guards and the others in the group with him. From there, he deduced that the situation was being handled, albeit in the Synprilox way. Regardless, his eyes were trained to check out the events._

 _Yards away, a man was being dragged away, stunned and unconscious. Kirk rose without someone hindering him, assessing the damage. While his tour guide was visibly shaken and talking with the supervisor of the building, all of the workers ceased production and stared at him like he was lucky to be alive. He might have been had not some unknown angel interfered. Whoever that was, the admiral did not notice. When he monitored the rafters above his head, he had to blink a few times to make sure he wasn't hallucinating._

 _It was Alyssa. She had put away her phaser and had met Kirk's eye when he noticed her. She saluted him as a superior officer and slinked back into the ceiling's shadows, her footsteps echoing in the rafters. The admiral instantly felt reassured that someone was there watching out. At the same time though, it was creepy to think that she was there at just the right moment. With all of the accusations painting her as a traitor, was it possible that she was involved?_

No. It can't be.

 _Doubt lined the admiral's mind, more so than never before. All of those contradictions and insinuations blended together to create an opinion he could not form solidly until his mind cleared. Alyssa had been firm, friendly and loyal. She had been inviting and wonderful. There was no way she could have been an accomplice to this. For as far as he could remember her, she had been honest and true. She also asked for a lot of faith, but that was another story._

 _He resolved to tell anyone, Lori included, that Alyssa Elma was a loyal officer and would never commit treason. He stood by this mantra when the smoke cleared and the tour continued as it had before, moving forward like nothing had happened. He did the same, pretending to be involved and always wishing to see the security officer once more. She never obliged this wish though, sticking to the darkness even as the aide ended his display._

 _Kirk did not think anything of it until he reached her home with his tired guards. By then, he was annoyed, dirty and quite exhausted by the adventure. He sought to shuck off the uniform and to wash off the workmen's trade from head to toe, when he ran into Magda. She was in the doorway, blocking him from coming in._

" _Magda, if you'd please –" Kirk began._

" _No," she interrupted. "Before you enter, I need to know if you are all right. Did anyone touch you? Shoot you?"_

 _Kirk was confused by the concern. "Of course I am. Nobody hurt me. Why wouldn't I be otherwise?"_

 _Magda glared at him harshly, evaluating him to determine if he was lying. She must have believed him since she moved aside and allowed him and his men inside. The admiral breathed a sigh of relief, walking in and stepping over Ryder and his toys in the living room. He jogged upstairs without his man tailing, locking himself in his bedroom. He needed to be alone. Oddly enough, he was so overwhelmed that he needed to recalculate everything._

 _Lori would have the answers, but he was still svery angry with her that he was not ready to speak with her. When his emotions calmed, he would use her, all right, and use her well. She had the means and the connections to get a link formed to mass-transport civilians to another planet. There was sure to be colonies around Synprilox that the Federation could use to complete the task. This would keep Lori busy for quite a while._

 _Towards, evening, there was a knock on his door. "Dinner's ready, Admiral!" Alyssa called out. "Do you want me to save you a place?"_

 _Kirk was mildly amused to hear her cheery voice, especially after a day like this. "Can you bring a tray up here please?"_

 _The security officer replied her assent and left, returning half an hour later with food and a beverage balanced in her arms. Even though it was her home, she still inquired if she could come in. The admiral admitted her, admiring how calm she was, even after an eventful afternoon. He watched her place the tray on a side table and smile brightly, commenting how full his days had been and how a vacation should be in order, even a small one in the evenings._

" _With what time?" Kirk was laughing to dispel the worry. He was also thinking of how sneaky she was in the factory and wondered how she held up so strongly. That too was troublesome._

" _There's always time," Alyssa answered carefully. "You just have to make it, Admiral. With all that you're doing recently, I think taking small periods of time to yourself is a good idea. Knowing you though, there's more underneath that layer than I can see. You're planning something and it's more than what you've been assigned."_

" _I could say the same about you," Kirk volleyed._

 _Alyssa blushed. It was a shade the admiral actually admired, which made her hide it all the more. "Sir, if I may be so bold, I'd say that you're up to your elbows with all of the talking you've been doing with the civilians and the chancellor. Whatever it is, let me know. I think I can help you."_

 _When she left, the admiral had to think about what she said. Kirk did not believe that he was so conspicuous enough that even Alyssa picked up on his snooping. He played his ignorance card very well with the populace. That assassination attempt was possibly resentment towards a Starfleet presence, nothing more. However, with the security officer on his tail and the offer to help was tempting, he had to rethink his strategy. Laying low for a while would be key._

 _There was also something else. It was also true, he had not taken time for himself ever since accepting the captain's chair over five years ago. The last time he took off save for shore leave had been with Carol, before he was stationed on the_ Enterprise _and after that, a visit to his mother before accepting the position of admiral. With Carol, it had been so bittersweet. They had walked the park, talking about their dwindling relationship and their respective careers, and parted ways. Carol was going one way and Kirk another and there was no way for them to continue their bond._

 _It was a heartbreaking experience that he did not want to repeat. Trying to dismiss the bad mood and thinking of taking that chance to relax, Kirk ate, waiting until it was fully dark before retreating downstairs to deposit the remains of his dinner. By then, Ryder had been put to bed and Magda and Alyssa were nowhere in sight. Upon further investigation, he found them outside in the backyard, chatting like old friends and relaxing before a fire pit. They did not notice him lingering in the doorway, studying them from a window like an exotic creature on an uncharted planet._

 _Taking a deep breath, the admiral decided to move forward. It might not be tonight that he revealed anything to Alyssa. However, she requested of him long ago to have some faith in her. He still held onto that. She might be another step and one that would save Synprilox from destruction._

 _Ordering the entranceway opened, he stepped outside._


	13. On the Brink of Discovery

The next afternoon, Spock arrived right on time, ringing the doorbell and entering without a word. He brought nothing with him except McCoy, who lingered behind the Vulcan in an attempt to instigate an argument. Kirk smiled, inviting the pair in and motioning for them to sit. He then went to his bedroom, pulling out one of the small computer consoles that Lori used to carry around with her, only labeled "Synprilox". He lingered for a moment, allowing the better memories with Lori to wash over him, before exiting.

Kirk joined Spock and McCoy in his living room, handing the former the device. The Vulcan stared at it for a few minutes, switching it on and immediately coming upon several complex security steps to access the information. He opted to close out of it, shutting it down and looking at the admiral with a raised eyebrow. Spock did not need to ask who it belonged to. His questions most likely involved why it had to be done now.

"The Thyrian counselors have been mysterious lately," Kirk began. "There has been some suspicions that they are responsible for some events of the past and present."

"More than that," McCoy interjected. "Just plain nosy, sneaky –"

"That will be enough, Bones." Kirk did not appreciate the interruption. He turned to Spock. "Admiral Ciana had kept…excessive notes on Synprilox and its war between a faraway neighbor years ago, I believe. Since joining the Federation, she had been monitoring its development and how it erupted into not only civil war, but also into a galactic one that eventually destroyed it. It's coming to a head now. I am beginning to conjecture that the Thyrians were the ones that Synprilox had been fighting with and that they are looking for survivors of the explosion."

"I could not say if your assumptions are correct, Admiral, since it is not logical," Spock said, "but I can say for sure that Admiral Ciana's computer has been locked down in such a manner that she thought someone might break in and reveal secrets. She secured it very well."

"Yes, but what kind of secrets could she be hiding?" McCoy was impatient and quite curious too.

"If this has to do with the Thyrians, then the information might affect the conference in ways we cannot imagine." Spock appeared thoughtful for a Vulcan. "It begs the question of if it is best to break into a private computer to seek this information. Of course, that would be the logical course."

"If Thyria was the planet that truly destroyed Synprilox, then there's a chance that it will change the terms of their joining the Federation," Kirk mentioned. "We need to know."

"It's going to take some concentration to access it though, Admiral," the Vulcan said. "Admiral Ciana placed numerous layers of security on this in order to keep the inquisitive out and the admitted in. If she could not trust you, then we too might be of the former."

Kirk refused to believe it. Lori would have wanted him to have the information, especially if it meant peace somewhere. "Can it be done?" That was all he needed to know.

"It can," Spock conceded, "but it might take some time."

"We don't have much of that."

"I would need it, Admiral. However, under the correct circumstances, I could decipher this within the day. If I were to take this to the Vulcan Embassy, it would mean security, quiet and discretion. Would that be enough?"

Kirk did not feel comfortable parting with the computer, even if it was going with a trusted friend and colleague to a place that most likely will not be infiltrated or attacked. On the other side, it would mean that Spock would have the space to work. If it would take a day, the admiral was patient enough. He could wait…and so can Alyssa. She would be anxious to hear more too, especially since if his theory was correct. If so, then she would be amongst the few hundred that had been rescued the year before now targeted by the Thyrians.

It would not just be her that Kirk was worried about. His own daughter would be part of this conspiracy as well. Ali was also a survivor of the massacre.

"Yes," Kirk conceded. "I think it best anyway."

Spock nodded. He considered the meeting over. Rising, he bid Kirk and McCoy farewell and departed, hiding the item in his uniform in order to avoid detection. This left the two remaining behind to finally discuss it further in detail. The doctor had been unusually quiet during the visit after the initial entry. However, this too left him thinking. He connected the dots to what Kirk had said and would have exclaimed in outrage had the admiral not raised a hand for silence.

"I don't want to hear it," he told McCoy when he lowered his hand. "I know what this entails to."

"It could mean nothing, Jim," the doctor tartly said. "You might be chasing ghosts."

"I could be. I doubt that I am pursuing literal ones though."

"Who knows what Spock might find? It could be old files from Ciana's tenure, pictures of you and her…"

Kirk waved that away. "We had no pictures together."

"Howe strange for a couple who claimed to love each other not have memories of their time together."

"It's not the same as the others, Bones. Lori…Lori was the replacement of my ship. She held me together when I felt like falling apart."

McCoy snorted out what was cross between a laugh and a sigh. "What an understatement. What about Alyssa? What does she have to do with this?"

"Some…relationships don't change over time. I am finding that true with Alyssa."

"She's also the mother of your daughter, Jim. That makes a huge difference. Now, they might be involved in a plot that is a figment of our imagination. How do you feel about that?"

"The situation will affect all of them. Already, Magda is suspected of being a danger and has been removed after an assassination attempt that does not make sense. Two factors have been eliminated. Who is next? Alyssa, Ali or Ryder?"

"If you think about it, you would be next too."

Kirk was startled for a moment. "W-what?" He recovered enough to keep his composure, listening to the doctor explain.

McCoy counted the instances on his fingers. "Didn't you spend six months on Synprilox? Witness its wars first-hand? Tried to get Starfleet to remove half of the population to another colony before it became worse? Negotiate a peace with an unknown force? Made a big fuss over what the Federation thought was nothing?"

"I hardly succeeded. I managed to get a few thousand of the poorest to the nearest planet out of range. The exodus afterward was not of my doing. And there was no peace when there was no opponent."

"If you were the named peacemaker, Jim, then don't you think that anyone bent on destroying all survivors related to Synprilox would also tag you?"

"If I were someone high up who didn't like trails, I would leave no loose ends."

The doctor decided to leave it there, thinking that he gave his friend enough to ponder about for the time being. He rose to leave, bidding the admiral a good rest of his day, although he had doubts that Kirk would. Besides, he had a date at the bar downtown with the waitresses. They would be wondering where he is.

Outside, McCoy talked himself into a rational state and chided himself for acting so much like Spock. He did believe that he was covering his tracks enough to save his own hide. He was a known drinker. It wouldn't be out of the ordinary to sit at his usual spot and play the pessimistic asshole. That was part of his beaming personality. He only hoped that the same could be applied to Kirk.

However, with McCoy gone, the admiral knew that he had some things to do. Getting up, he went into his office and sat before his video communicator. He turned it on, deciding to hail Federation Headquarters on his personal line and hope that Alyssa was in. Her office was closed and redirected itself. Eventually, he managed to reach the general security office instead when she did not answer. Whoever took his call stated that the captain was out and would return in half an hour. Can the admiral leave a message?

"Yes," Kirk decided. "Please inform the captain to meet me at my personal address. It is imperative. Kirk out."

It didn't even take an hour for a reply. The doorbell rang loudly several times, most of it in a frantic manner. Kirk rose from his seat and answered it, seeing Alyssa on the other side. He allowed her in, guiding her to a seat by the fireplace and taking her backpack. He joined her, figuring out what to say to her. He could not tell her there was a conspiracy because there was no definite evidence of it yet. What was certain though was that the Thyrians were up to something and that whatever Lori stored was its key. Kirk had other thoughts about Cartwright, but he'll keep them to himself for the moment.

"All right, what did you need to tell me that was so urgent?" Alyssa asked. "You left much to be desired in your message."

Kirk chuckled, relaxing for the first time in a few hours. "We're still digging."

" _We_? Who else did you ring in our circle?"

"Oh, the usual."

"You employed Captain Spock, didn't you?"

Kirk was amazed by her guess. "How did you know?"

"I did some digging myself," Alyssa revealed. "Now that you said something, it all makes sense."

"Why? Did you have to see Spock arrive?"

"No, not personally." She sounded smug. "The Vulcan Embassy sent messages to us this morning before docking. They needed an escort for the ambassador and his son, the former who was said was on an important conference before today. I sent some of my men out there to greet them."

"What was so different about it? Ambassadors come to Earth often."

"Very true, Jim, but not when an ambassador was already known to be in a different galaxy and then comes without a reason. What was stranger was that there was no known duty roster for Spock. He either came here on pleasure or business. Since he does not use shore leave often and it's usually on his home planet when he does, then this is all for work."

Kirk was amazed by her deductions. "He's helping with our investigation. Ambassador Sarek has nothing to do with it. He came here by chance."

Alyssa sat up. "What kind of investigation? Is this what you were telling me about yesterday?"

"Lori had locked up a computer with information about Synprilox. I…I think she has something in there about Thyria as well."

"I see."

"We would also need to do our own searches before Spock finishes. There is the assassination attempt, why Magda is missing and Jason Lattimer's importance to the Thyrians."

"How much time do we have?"

"Depends. What were you doing before I called?"

The security officer shrugged her shoulders. "I had a few cadets I was training. They're relieved to have the afternoon off."

"You cancelled your training?" The admiral was once more holding back the laughter.

"I was getting tired of them beating me up anyway," Alyssa confessed, stretching. "However, I think that we can spare some time and explore San Diego some more. Come on, Jim. I think the transport leaves in an hour."

~00~

 _Kirk crept carefully into the luscious backyard, careful not to step on any of Ryder's toys, and soon came upon the pair. Magda and Alyssa both saw the shadow across their domain and simultaneously looked the same way. They stood when they saw the admiral approach them, out of respect more than anything else. The two had opposite emotions churning inside of them though, albeit with the similar hope that Kirk did not notice them and with good reasons._

 _The nursemaid kept her scowl to herself, feeling protective of Alyssa. She was beginning to feel Kirk was more of a threat than anything else. It was not because he was a Starfleet officer and one of many that aimed to control Synprilox. Magda doubted that. No, she thought he was aiming to be in Alyssa's bed and she was falling for it too fast. After all, it was only five years since Alyssa's husband had been killed. Any man paying her heed would grab her attention, especially one that had identical charms and smarts as her._

 _Alyssa felt her heart beating faster. She didn't expect Kirk to come out so soon. She only joked about having time to himself to be himself. And the mention about him sneaking around and speaking with the people of Synprilox was to let him know that she was watching him too. She was frightened for him. While the attempted murder was not the direct result of Kirk asking too many questions, it still painted a bigger target on him than anything else. If someone could shoot a phaser set to kill, who else had plans to kill him?_

" _Can we talk?" Kirk directed this at Alyssa._

" _Alone?" the security officer inquired._

" _If possible please, Commander. This is important."_

 _Alyssa nodded at Magda. The older woman displayed her displeasure openly, walking past the pair in a huff. While inside, she was banging items around. Alyssa frowned. She found the tantrum quite annoying and will have words with the nursemaid later. However, the admiral was more significant. The way his face was chiseled gave the impression that he had been in deep thought and wanted to include her in this process._

 _The security officer sat down again, offering the empty seat by the fire to Kirk. He took it, warming himself by the flames. He did not want to say it was cold, although the night almost felt like an autumn in Iowa. The bubble in the underwater world offered protection and heat during the day, but it felt much to be desired when darkness fell._

 _Rubbing his hands, he began. "It has come to my attention that Synprilox is under attack."_

" _What gave you the impression?" Alyssa did not want to admit anything without hearing the evidence from Kirk. She concluded some days ago that the admiral knew something was wrong and did not want to lead him along, especially in the mood he was in._

" _I have my sources," Kirk said vaguely. "Now, the more imperative issue at hand is how and why. What planetary power can shoot through a defensive and life-supporting shield? What kind of enemies does Synprilox have? I've heard of a faraway planet that might be to the cause."_

" _Synprilox has itself and this neighbor to blame."_

" _What neighbor?" Kirk played stupid, to see what Alyssa knew. He hoped he would match up to what Lori told him._

" _Some planet…I don't know where or how…they found a way to send radiation blasts through the wall and destroy the cities and towns of Synprilox. Thousands are homeless. Many more are ill from the poisoning."_

" _Alyssa, why wasn't the Federation informed?"_

" _They have been, Admiral. I can show you all of my logs."_

" _Who did you contact?"_

" _The Federation referred me to Captain Lance Cartwright."_

 _It sounded fishy to Kirk. He remembered the captain was interested in weapons, especially the Romulan cloaking device, and used his crew many times over to gain more for the Federation. "What did he say?"_

" _T_ _o continue to monitor the occurrences and that he would send back-up assistance," Alyssa recounted in an annoyed manner. "He said he'll organize the inhabitants to move to another planet similar to their home. Since he did not follow through, I took the initiative and have been reporting to the Federation and Starfleet on its results. It has been a success so far. Some have been evacuated to a world just a lightyear away, Kepler III. Others have refused to leave their home and are continuing to soldier on."_

" _I cannot blame them." A tree branch dipped low with the breeze. Kirk fingered the flowers above his head, pulling one off and playing with the petals. "If my family had lived somewhere for decades and it was the only place I knew, I would not want to relocate either."_

" _At least something is being instituted in order to save those who want it," Alyssa insisted. "I assume that you are planning the same and that was the reason why you were so distracted."_

 _Kirk was somehow not surprised Alyssa knew. "I am. I wonder, how can we expedite the process? How can we persuade more to leave?"_

" _Picking the neediest and beaming to them a freighter ship for transport can't hurry things." The security officer grinned weakly. "It's the only way, Admiral. But those on Kepler III are already up and running and welcome anyone. The colony is flourishing and is working as well as Synprilox, if not better."_

 _Without realizing it, Kirk reached over and held Alyssa's hand, clasping the flower between them. "Can you show me your transport station? I would like to see it in action."_

 _Gripping tighter, the security officer nodded. "Yes, Jim. I can show it to you. You'll also see Kepler III."_


	14. Closer

Again in civilian garb, the pair hurried to San Diego. Alyssa had more time to devote to the activity and Kirk hardly cared about the delayed conference with the Thyrians. It will give them an additional two hours to find Jason Lattimer and hopefully before the Thyrians do. If he was tagged as a prisoner and might be part of the peace agreement, then they needed to locate him fast before he was surprised by either his grandmother's people or Starfleet itself.

Stepping out of the transport, Alyssa tripped over her feet. Kirk grabbed her before she hit the pavement, steadying her and walking by her side. Copying the same cover as they did before, they beelined to the map and studied it for a few minutes. To each other, they noted the places they already checked out and marked the others they had not. With so much to cover, they split the chore into three days, which they did not have. Their additional optimism turned into completing it before leaving for San Francisco later.

The first hour dragged. The two were more concerning about not being discovered that they headed to a restaurant first so that they appeared less like Starfleet officers. They lunched in silence, slipping into the familiar small talk about the weather, friends and family. During the course of this break, Kirk asked about the children. He learned more about Ryder and Ali than he had in the last decade. While he did not regret the agreement they made when Ali was born, he did have to drown a gnawing feeling in his stomach. There was so much he missed.

Regardless, life had to go on. He could not dwell on the past. What's done was done. In the long run, especially with Synprilox destroyed and many lives lost, it was best that he disassociated himself from Alyssa. However, the way things were running, he might have to face these things head-on.

He was so stuck in his thoughts that Alyssa noticed when she did not receive an answer to a question. "Hello, Jim? You ok?"

"What?" Kirk paused, recovering himself. "Yes. Yes, I am. Why?"

"You're spacing." The security officer let out an uncharacteristic giggle.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you're staring into nothing and are so deep in thought that you aren't paying attention to shit. What's bothering you?"

Kirk waved the concern away. "Nothing."

"Are you upset about not being there for Ryder and Ali?"

"I said it was _nothing_."

Alyssa did not press the matter further. The reply from Kirk was pretty sharp. "I understand. Ready to go?"

The admiral agreed. They settled the establishment's payment requirements and set out again, linked arm-in-arm. While they roamed aimlessly for half an hour, Alyssa thought. She should not have talked about the children. Kirk had inquired kindly to avoid chatting about their assignment and she had obliged. She rolled into the best, funniest and even most annoying moments with Ali and Ryder. The most she talked about them though, the more Kirk withdrew. He would reply and laugh automatically after a while, but it changed everything about him.

It made Kirk more distant. Taking this into consideration, Alyssa decided that it was best to focus on their mission. No longer feeling close, she tried playacting her part and felt that it was forced. In any case, she had to push herself. Moving forward, she kept an eye out for anything unusual. So far, they did not see anything that merited their attention. Every so often though, Kirk would point to something out to Alyssa. She would mentally log it.

Finally, towards the end of the day, they saw somebody that might have fit in the description of the person they were looking for. While walking through the neighborhood that most Jolklins resides, they noticed a man that was similar to a Thyrian, standing outside watering his plants. Although the Jolklins were close in appearance to the Thyrians, the only characteristic that separated them was the hair color and the fact that this one also had some humanistic features.

Kirk nudged Alyssa. She saw the same thing he did and smiled. They both took down the address silently and began their return, considering the excursion to be a success and without the expected work. By the time they reached the pick-up site though, Alyssa was exhausted. She was doing everything in her power not to lean on Kirk so heavily and almost mouthed a girlish squeal of delight when their ride arrived. She was relieved when they boarded and were traveling back to San Francisco.

Curling up against Kirk, the security officer allowed herself a brief moment to relax and not be on high alert. Ever since Ryder was born and she had been kidnapped by Admiral Uriah, she never lapsed in this duty. She was always on the lookout and stalking, driving herself to the point of paranoia, and even lost nights of sleep thinking of people she would never personally know and were more important than she ever will be. Now, she could not help but think that, for a few hours, she was an ordinary person, not an officer of Starfleet, and that she could stroll through a city and not be recognized, nagged at or ordered around.

Eventually, she felt the urge to talk halfway through the trip. "You never answered my question, Jim."

Kirk turned to her, quieter. "Which one?"

"At lunch. Are you really that bothered?"

"About what?"

Alyssa thought that Kirk was dense sometimes. "The children. Ryder and Ali."

"Ahh." He paused. "Can we…discuss this later?"

The request was rational and she agreed. Alyssa saw the pain behind Kirk's eyes. She knew what it was like to bury that deep inside and to not want to talk about it. She recalled years of keeping old hurts secret. Before events spiraled out of her control, she remembered being a scared young girl, abused by her parents and suffering the guilt of her older brother's death. She even reserved some when her husband was killed. Recovering on Synprilox had been a lifesaver, but it also was her undoing in another way.

 _Another story for another day._

Upon arrival, the two immediately went back to Kirk's apartment and changed. They were back at Headquarters just in the nick of time. Ali had been released from her lessons and had been waiting for her mother outside the entranceway of the daycare with some of the other children. The girl tapped her foot impatiently against the floor, arms crossed. Her backpack laid at her feet, heavy and filled with enough homework that made Alyssa's head spin. Either from mouthing off or from boredom, she could not tell. In any case, Ali had work to do and Alyssa will be suffering a migraine tonight.

"What took so long?" Ali asked, eying the admiral with a raised eyebrow as she hooked her bag around her shoulder. She was suddenly interested.

"Isn't it such a tragedy that my daughter was kept waiting a minute?" Alyssa shook her head. "Are you ready to go home?"

"Is Admiral Kirk coming with us?"

"No. He has other…plans tonight. The Thyrian counsel has us both running."

"Not you. Where did you go? Ryder was just here an hour ago. He said that you had a training class waiting for –"

"I think Ryder has been reading into too many things and needs to stick to his own business," Alyssa interrupted in a rush, taking Ali by the shoulder and leading her out before the rush of other children ran them over. "Now, how much homework do you have?"

Kirk followed closely behind them, ignoring little heads bumping into his legs and back. He saw that Ali did not like that she was cut off at the pass, showing her displeasure in a face that reminded both parents of Kirk irked about a situation. It did not help matters when Ali briefly glanced back at him and mouthed off that she was innocent. Of course, he did not believe it any more than Alyssa did. Kirk also saw Alyssa roll her eyes.

When Alyssa turned back to her daughter, she had to listen to the vocal protests concerning the unfairness of the work Ali was given and the long hours she would be at it. Alyssa chuckled. Schoolwork was always too easy for Ali. The problem was that she was easily bored and would not finish it because it wasn't challenging enough.

Outside of Headquarters, Kirk remained with them, asking if he could tag along. While he had not checked his messages yet, he wished that Spock left one somewhere on the progress of decoding Lori's device. He also hoped to meet with his friends or to head home himself in order to sort things out. He didn't have the stomach to return to the future conferences, feeling that he still had nothing to add. Even thinking of Riley lingering near his office gave him a headache.

The two accepted, continuing their walk outside and into the city and towards their apartment. While Alyssa was pissy about Ali's attitude, it softened a little as they distanced themselves. They soon spoke of Ryder and his brief visit to Headquarters and what he was up to. Ali also asked about Magda. Alyssa was quiet about the nursemaid and only told her daughter that there are no answers at the moment. Ultimately, the conversation died down afterward, leaving Ali ample opportunity to fall back to bother Kirk.

"You _really_ like Mom, don't you?" It was an innocent question from Ali, but nonetheless very perspective from a girl constantly fishing for information.

"I told you, she was on my ship years ago." Kirk was sticking with this story. It was the safest.

Ali wasn't giving up though. "You've been around a lot lately."

"What's wrong with that? I like being with my old friends."

"The last you saw my mother was just after I was born, right?

"Ali!" Alyssa saw the façade and motioned her daughter forward. "Leave the admiral alone."

Shamefaced, the girl caught up with her mother and continued the trek. She obeyed Alyssa, but kept chancing glances backwards at Kirk. The admiral was incredulous. This left him a lot of questions. One of them was how Ali knew that Kirk last saw her as a baby. Cornered, Kirk knew that this was the straw that was breaking the camel's back. He had to keep control and to compose himself. He took a side road towards his apartment, waving goodbye to the two.

His thoughts went elsewhere to keep off of the pair, mostly concerning Jason Lattimer. Kirk considered the day well spent, hoping to sneak out tomorrow if it was permitted to see if they can pick him up for questioning. When he took the turbolift to his apartment, he dismissed his problems and relaxed. Upon his return to his sanctuary, he closed the world behind him and would have ignored the messages left had not one of them been from the Vulcan embassy.

First thing's first though. The messages left by Riley were important. Most of them consisted of him recounting the talks that resumed earlier and when the admiral should be able to join in. Nobody had noticed his disappearance yet, although Cartwright was quite interested as to why he decided not to show up. In the end, Riley added that the Thyrians continued their demands and threatened to have the planet searched for their so-called prisoner.

Kirk skipped through the remainder of the messages and halted at the one he desired. It was from Spock. He asked that the admiral meet him at the embassy early tomorrow morning, before dawn. The computer had been unlocked and its information was imperative to review privately.

~00~

 _The next morning dawned clear and pretty. Similar to an Earth spring day, the green sun warmed the cold dew in the backyard gardens as it dripped to the ground. Kirk stepped out into it, feeling more refreshed than he had in the time he spent on the planet. Stretching his arms, he watched the morning unfolded, finding a seat away from the fire pit. When Alyssa served him coffee and eggs and toast a few minutes later, his mind turned back to their conversation the night before. She went away before he could ask her a question._

 _It left him alone with his thoughts. A lot of them swirled around what Alyssa told him. She had organized a transport to get the populace off of Synprilox due to war because Cartwright wasn't cooperating? That the Federation wasn't doing much for these people? That there was a small number who were safe, but missing their home?_

 _The revelation was a far-fetched story and one that he wanted to confirm for himself. It was exciting to hear that someone was trying to alleviate some of the pain of war and not stepping on anyone's toes. To be honest, it was much more interesting than the tours, dinners and conferences. Luckily, his day was free to see this display. Tomorrow would be another story though. He would be back to official business and hopefully proposing an expansion of this setup._

 _Kirk was surprised to see Alyssa arrive again. She was without her cup of coffee, dressed and ready to spring into action. Oddly enough, she did not meet with her fellow security officers like she normally did in the mornings. She remained with the admiral and waited patiently until he was finished with his breakfast. She took the tray inside and returned with his jacket. He accepted it, eying her with a little curiosity._

" _I thought you mentioned that you'd like to see the arrangement, Sir," Alyssa said as a form of explanation._

 _Amused, Kirk put on his jacket. "You've read my mind. Don't you have work to do before we leave?"_

" _I can technically on medical leave, Admiral," Alyssa confessed with hesitation. "I still perform my duties. It does not affect it."_

" _What happened?"_

" _A few years ago, I was in a town just outside of the capital. I was assisting some civilians with moving when we were attacked with the radiation blasts. Like many others, I was hit multiple times. It has occurred numerous instances afterward."_

 _The tale turned Kirk's blood cold. "And you're recovering?"_

" _Yes, I am. Thank you, Sir. Now, do you want a transport or do you want to walk? It's a long journey. I do have a vehicle."_

 _The admiral opted for the latter to stretch his legs. Smiling, Alyssa led the way through the house and to the front, following the well-worn pathway out. Passing through the opening marketplaces and sleepy palace workers, they eventually reached the city limits after over an hour. Panting, the two stopped to rest underneath a tree, its blue leaves dipping up and down with the breeze. Ahead was another urbanization, its people just as busy as those behind them. Kirk tried seeing past it, noting how it became more rural and deserted as the miles strained endlessly in front of him._

" _Are you sure you don't want easier transportation?" Alyssa's hazel eyes sparkled._

 _Kirk admitted defeat. "Well, maybe if we can find one."_

" _It's difficult in these parts, Admiral, but we'll manage. I am sure I can ring something up."_

 _The old phrase caught Kirk off-guard. It took him a minute to figure out what she meant. By then, the security officer was already ahead of him, waving down a wagon. She talked with the driver for a few minutes to barter for a ride. Alyssa soon achieved her goal. Pulling something out of her pocket and handing it to their savior, she climbed into the rear, gesturing to the admiral to do the same._

 _He obeyed, seating himself next to her. Their carter started up again and was soon on another open road, yelling angrily at everyone in words Kirk could not understand. While Alyssa smirked and tried hard not to laugh, the admiral had to wonder how she knew what he was saying since her qualifications did not include alien tongues other than Standard. He was also not aware that Synprilox had a set language other than the Federation universal. This was something he would need to inquire about._

 _Coughing as the dust kicked up, the admiral endured the remainder of their trip in silence. Half an hour later, they were dropped off. As they jumped out, Alyssa spoke to their driver in the same tongue. He grunted consent to whatever she asked and was soon on his way. Chuckling, Kirk joined her as they walked a pathway towards a large building. It reminded the admiral of an old Earth factory the way it was built. The inside though was quite the opposite though._

 _Obviously renovated, this worn and friendly facility held several families in different stages of the relocation process, all of them vying for attention as soon as Alyssa entered. She dismissed them politely, saying that she was on personal business, and pushed her way through screaming children, frantic parents and weary elderly competing for a place to rest. Kirk followed suit, watching the scenes with amazement as a pathway cleared. He listened to Alyssa's speedy explanation of the system, although most of it went in one ear and out the other._

 _He was speechless when he saw the transporting system in the back, protected by its own awning and guarded by several officers, from Starfleet to civilians. He studied it for a moment, his eyes unbelieving as they scanned the crowds. Whatever the system was, it resulted in their people forming a line to this destination and being shipped to Kepler III through the guidance of these workers. It wasn't without its faults though. There was desperation and weariness of these people attempting to escape, all of them energized by the stage they were in the process. Most of the line shoved each other in an effort to leave earlier than anticipated._

 _Despite that, the perimeter been attacked several times and not just by the families (constant usage and fighting was hardly damage enough, he noted). It was akin to a war zone. An enlightenment about why they had not moved this location yet was not offered. When Kirk went to ask for it, he was stopped by a sudden burst of thunder. As rain started falling suddenly, he darted to the nearest shelter, which was a cove of trees. He did not want to cause more chaos by using the canopy. Already, the line leading to it was rushing forward in an attempt to remain dry._

 _Alyssa was right behind him, a quiet and willing partner in this venture. On impulse, they grabbed each other's hands during the dash and remained linked even under cover. They stood awkwardly out of sight and watched the storm together, all the while unwilling to pull away from each other. Kirk could not say if it was an attraction or for protection and who was actually doing what for the other. Most certainly, he did not mean to make the situation worse than it should have been._

Alyssa would understand.

 _The utter conviction of the thought propelled him to keep the topic off of their budding relationship. He did not want to talk about them and risked something else. "How does it rain on a planet that is an underwater world?"_

" _You know that all worlds have weather patterns," Alyssa elucidated. She did not remove her hand, only using the other to wipe her wet black hair from her face. "The founders of Synprilox decided that they wanted to make this almost like Earth. When it rains above the surface, the bubble uses the water to give us the same. The system also copies any other weather-related activity to make it more realistic."_

" _It's…wonderful." Kirk inches closer to her._

" _You should see it when it tried to snow," the security officer said, laughing as the heavy wind splashed some mud in the face. It ruined her tan uniform. "They cannot gauge the temperatures quite right. It always turns into slush or more rain. There is never an ice storm."_

" _Really? When does that occur?"_

" _During the wintertime. They do not attempt it in the autumn season. It makes it difficult to conduct business, so they try to make it brief. Luckily, the weather is usually mild and never too hot."_

 _It was an unusual thing, discussing the weather, when so much else was in the balance. Kirk decided not to reply, instead withdrawing further into the privacy of the wooded area. Alyssa followed him and allowed him the lead. As the rain receded, they both wished that the moment would not end. Then, it was time to make the decision and they took the initiative. It was like a magnetic force drove them together with their mutual consent, right into each other's arms. It was too late to stop it now._

" _Jim," Alyssa warned in a frightened voice._

 _Kirk did not respond vocally. He kissed her, elated when it was returned just as eagerly._


	15. Visits to Another World

Heading into the embassy late at night was questionable at best. While the security there was not as strict as the others', all of the Vulcan guards raised their eyebrows at the unusual hour Kirk arrived. He imagined them stating that it was illogical to stop by after midnight, but did not receive even that answer. They were silent, which prompted the admiral to explain briefly why he decided to stop in. Adding that it was an emergency with the ambassador's son merited some consideration. He was allowed in and escorted to Spock's quarters.

Kirk was lucky that his friend was only finishing his meditation. He never knew Spock stayed up so late. Generally speaking, when he was first officer, he kept hours that corresponded with their duties and that normally did not heed any evening hours unless there was a problem or there was research that was required of him as a science officer. Even so, the Vulcan never was fatigued or showed that he was worn down by his numerous activities.

At the moment, he was sitting in a chair, staring at Kirk with the same expression as the guards outside. There was no introduction necessary. Kirk smiled and got to the point of the matter immediately, asking if Spock cracked the codes to bypass the computer.

"Quite so, Admiral," Spock said. "It was an unusual combination and one I am fascinated with. Admiral Ciana managed to secure her information very effectively this way. If I was not able to compute the proper code, the device itself would have detonated."

Kirk nodded, putting his hands behind his back anxiously. "It must have been difficult."

"Even so, Admiral, the information inside of what you humans would call 'a sticky wicket'."

"Does this have anything to do with the Thyrians?"

"I am afraid so. There is evidence in here that suggests that the Thyrians will sabotage the conference."

"What is the so-called evidence that Admiral Ciana inputted?"

"Communications with the Synprilox chancellor. Testimonies from survivors of the Synprilox wars and the subsequent genocide before the planet was destroyed. Analysis of Thyria and its people as told by an escaped prisoner. Lists of people that are suffering from the effects of their radiation poisoning and those who have met death because of it. All seems to point to silence and destruction."

"Basically, Spock, you are telling me that we have firsthand proof that Thyria was responsible for the explosion of Synprilox and the death of countless lives."

"Yes, Admiral. There is also a chance that they are aiming for galactic war."

Kirk was startled. "This…radiation…was it going through the planet's water and the protective bubble?"

"Quite right," Spock revealed. "According to Admiral Ciana's notes, the Thyrians had developed a type of radiation beam that was able to continue through any planetary material until it reaches its intended target, inputted by a machine controlling it. It has been known to poison waters, food supplies and especially any type of race. There is a known cure, but the Thyrians have kept it secreted away."

 _Alyssa._

"Has the radiation in these people been studied?" the admiral inquired. He recalled that the security officer was afflicted and that no real medical team had been assigned except McCoy (years before though) and even he was not privy to much.

"Most certainly, Admiral, but it is very limited. On Kepler III, where the Synprilox refugees had been relocated, some medical personnel began their examinations. While the survival rate has been low, their methods in keeping all affected alive have been successful. However, there is no long-term solution and all eventually die."

"Of course. That would be logical."

"Admiral, might I be so bold as to ask why you are so interested in Admiral Ciana's notes? It is not only the Thyrians' negotiations."

"Have you been following the conference, Spock, and who is involved?"

"Yes, I have. What has been discovered will complicate the situation greatly. The proper authorities, as we call them, might have other interests at heart."

"Would you mean Admiral Cartwright?"

"I name no one specifically, Admiral. I only warn you that Starfleet might not be keen to hear of a dead officer's hidden observations that were not reported to them. They might believe them falsified records."

"True. I will be intruding upon logic here, but I must ask, Spock. What are your feelings on this matter? What do you conclude about this information?"

The Vulcan paused before speaking. "Since I do not allow myself human emotion, they would not matter in this course. What does is how this change will be received. Logically, I conclude that we do not speak of this matter until the proper time. We must also keep the original findings in a safe location."

"Did you happen to make a copy of the material?"

"Of course. It would not be logical otherwise."

Kirk smiled. "Would this copy also be in that safe location, as you suggested?"

"My father left some hours ago." Spock raised an eyebrow. He also pulled out another mobile apparatus and handed it to Kirk. "He will not be questioned."

"Indeed. Thank you, Spock." The admiral took the proffered item from his friend. Then, he considered it best to leave.

The Vulcan had the same thoughts. He called for the guards to escort Kirk outside and as far as the outer entranceway of his apartment. The admiral was appreciative of the efforts and enjoyed the silence of the walk home. He bid the two Vulcan companions a good night before unlocking his doors and seeking the privacy of his bedroom to view what Lori left behind. He was anxious to say the least. The butterflies in his stomach soared to new heights, wondering what secrets the dead stored.

Sitting on his bed, the admiral turned on the decoy and waited until its main screen flashed. Several folders graced it, labeled meticulously, most likely by Lori (who was better with her work than the house cleaning, he recalled). He tapped on the one named "Introduction" and saw that it revealed a video narrated by Lori herself. Although she never showed herself and the segment was mostly pictures and video, her calming and hypnotic voice echoed in Kirk's bedroom as she discussed everything known about the history of Synprilox and then Thyria. That itself was pretty boring since he remembered it from other sources.

The introduction ended with Lori stating to move on to the next topic, "Trade". Kirk exited from the first part, rubbing his eyes. He thought this too would be tedious enough to put him to sleep. When he started it though, it was no narration from Lori that he had to hear. This time, it was reading material. This was a treaty between Thyria and Synprilox for the material the latter used for creating their most destructive weapons.

Kirk recalled that Synprilox used to mine precious material in order to make these items and used to trade with a planet. This agreement with Thyria was precise, specific and detailed. From what the paperwork stated, they were giving Thyria this rock or the weapons for their own usage. By breaking this agreement when they signed with the Federation, Synprilox used the mines and factories for better circumstances dictated to them by the terms and damned Thyria. It named war if the terms were not met.

Spock had been right. Through this documentation alone, Thyria ensured that Synprilox would suffer if they had forsaken them and took protection with the Federation. Lori's careful research into the dynamic relationships proved it beyond a doubt. Thyria was responsible for the unfortunate fate of Synprilox and the death of millions of people.

There was more to read. The remaining night hours passed quickly. Before Kirk knew it, was dawn and he was through with the material. Sunshine reflected from the bay into his window. His alarm clock chirped. With it, a call from Riley came immediately afterward. The faithful aide waited patiently until Kirk answered with a grunt. Cheerful as ever, Riley recounted the events from the previous day that was missed from the conference and asked if anything needed to be completed before his office entry in a few hours.

"Coffee," Kirk answered. "Make it black." He felt like he had a hangover instead of spending the night in anxious anticipation and then studying. "Did I have any calls to the office?"

"Admiral Cartwright," Riley replied with a deep frown. "He's been wondering where you are."

"Minding my own business," Kirk mumbled to himself. Shaking his head, he face his aide with a smile. "I'll be in if my presence is necessary."

"It might be, Sir, but not at the table just yet. Admiral Cartwright needs to talk to you about the status of Captain Elma. She's been out of sight since the incident a couple of days ago, training cadets. The admiral is interested in your opinion since you've worked with her."

"It wasn't for too long, Riley, and I hardly remember it anyway. A good officer will remain dedicated when treated right."

Riley blinked slowly. "Yes, Sir." He cleared his throat. "Regardless, Admiral, your absence is making waves. The Thyrians did not appreciate your disappearance and have told Admiral Cartwright that you've been obstructing their justice. That is also a topic of discussion today."

"What are you talking about?" Kirk's heart was practically bursting out of his chest.

"The Thyrians have stated that you traveled to San Diego with Captain Elma several times," Riley stated, pulling at his white collar nervously. "They are accusing you and the captain of kidnapping their prisoner and hiding him."

~00~

 _It was strange to continue to stand in the drizzle and continue to hold hands. However, it no longer felt so awkward. They were no longer teenagers on their first date, groping for the mysterious curves of the other. Now, it was natural to stick close to a mysterious woman who cast her spell on the admiral and brought him to his knees._

 _Kirk started counting ways that Alyssa drove him to madness. Her acceptance and quiet nature were one. Another had been the ways she moved and her gentle yet stern methods as a mother and security officer. He had no thought of her as the young girl from five years ago, slightly disenchanted with the lies she sought to cover up through her fear and the brave way she sought to fix it. She had been a young officer wishing to prove herself. Today, she was mature, with a tinge of sadness and some grief and longing._

 _It was easy for him to admit his faults in falling in love and why he found her so attractive. He still had to wonder how Alyssa was feeling and what made her tick, although the hesitation was due to her dead husband (_ that _he was sure about). Any person who had been given a hard hand always had a difficult time coping with the consequences. However, even the link to the past crept up harshly and placed blame at its origins too._

 _As Alyssa called for a ship to take them to Kepler III (and using one hand to do the deed), Kirk thought about the last time he dealt with her. Even back when she was on the_ Enterprise _, she was quiet and always following orders without question, but she was a leader when the role was thrust upon her. Before Chekov took the helm with Sulu, she was in charge of him. Granted, she answered to a higher authority, but she had the guts to take direction and hold steady._

 _This made her more suspicious and bolder, which prompted him to check her records (not to mention, McCoy was a pest about it when he argued with Alyssa about it). While finding nothing out of the ordinary, Kirk thought it unusual about the disturbances and had to rely on his own judgements and observations. In turn, Alyssa had to be given a chance to prove herself. She was chosen to come to Synprilox as their security officer. This had released more information than he thought possible and a chain of corruption that made it to the Federation's ears._

 _Only twenty-three years old and quite the scandalous celebrity after those events, Starfleet had to determine how much knowledge Alyssa knew and the events leading to their return from the twenty-first century before coming to a decision. Admiral Nogura knew that Alyssa held too much knowledge of the future and could change the course of history. It was an easy decision, as Kirk saw it. Going back to 2012 with her son and hardly any support might mean her death during the Third World War. Moving forward in 2265 might mean a life that she could not imagine and chances she would not have in 2012._

 _Kirk broke from his reverie when Alyssa sighed. "There isn't a ship that will take us except yours," she said. "Apparently, there's some activity above. The last freighter that took the refugees isn't returning for another few hours."_

" _What kind of activity?" The admiral was alarmed._

" _Nothing unusual," she reassured him. Upon seeing moving shadows around the trees, she broke free from his grip. "There's too much traffic and Starfleet ships are trying to navigate around it and causing a disturbance. Mr. Scott has already said he would beam us up and take us to Kepler III. I already sent him our coordinates."_

 _He did not like that her hand was no longer in his, but he understood the need once people came upon them, all of them refugees. A million voices chimed in like a song, asking if they were ok and when they can be sent to Kepler III. Alyssa assured them that all was well and that there were some delays in the transporting of people to the ship because of the rain. They accepted this explanation and departed, knowing that this one woman held their future in her hands._

 _Kirk saw something different from them too and not just the faith they held in the security officer, who held this hope steady and kept their flame alive. Their faces told another story, of suffering and deprivation and the need to start anew. Synprilox and her troubles were not the only monsters that went bump in the night. This storm made them jitterier than they should have been and all because of the tribulations they endured. Kirk did not know the whole tale. He hoped he would be able to include it to a report to Lori though._

 _Soon, the familiar feeling of being pulled from one location to the next enveloped the pair. The next thing Kirk knew, he was in the transporter room of the_ Juniper _, seeing Scotty's beaming face. Even slightly drunk, he chatted to the admiral about how the ship was doing, his activities and how much he missed his old girl. Scotty was adamant that the_ Juniper _could not match up to the_ Enterprise _and made his anguish plain by vocally complaining about the days he missed refitting the ship._

 _Kirk took it in stride and listened as patiently as he could, eying Alyssa here and there, a plea for some input or interjection. She stood there politely and greeted the engineer warmly in-between this madness and did not say another word, choosing instead to allow the ranting to finish. She too smiled and took the time to heed to Scotty's concerns and wistful ramblings, nodding every so often. When Scotty was done and took a breath to allow them to pass, the two strolled out and down the hallway._

 _The admiral honestly wanted a moment alone with Alyssa. Knowing that they would be at Kepler III in half an hour (twenty minutes if the engines cooperated and the traffic moved out of their way), he directed Alyssa to his quarters. Once he unlocked it, he ordered the computer that he was not to be disturbed until they reached their destination. This ensured they would have the time to talk this issue through._

 _Alyssa certainly appreciated it. She seated herself gratefully when invited to a chair and paused until the admiral began, sitting opposite of her. She had so many things to say, Kirk noted, and all of it pooling into a jumble of emotions that was going to come out all at once. She was slowly turning into a pool of tears and he had to stop it._

" _What happened down there," Kirk began, "seems to be something that has been brewing between us."_

" _I would assume so," Alyssa replied. She reined in her sentiments. "Admiral – Jim – I don't know – I mean, I'm sorry. It won't happen again."_

 _Kirk reached for her hand again. Alyssa flinched and wanted to pull away, but the admiral's gentle persistence won out. "I do love you, Alyssa," he blurted out. "I don't know when or how. I only do."_

 _The words washed over Alyssa, a cross between relief and dread. For all these years, she had honored the memory of her dead husband and swore to keep it that way. Now, the chance to risk the most dangerous feeling of all stood in front of her…and she was scared to take it in her hands. The recall of Kurt bleeding to death in the potato fields of Maine only strengthened her resolve. She was a bringer of death. She did not need another man to mourn._

 _Kirk continued like he didn't notice Alyssa's obvious hurt. "I can understand how you feel though. You've been widowed for too long. I'm sure Kurt would have wanted you to love again. He wouldn't have wanted you to keep mourning."_

 _Alyssa almost yanked her hand away and walked out right then and there. Mentioning her dead husband like that was spiteful. Nobody had the right to throw Kurt Hemmingway in her face. She had to calm herself though. Of course, she had to admit that Kirk was right. Kurt wanted her to be happy._

 _Closing her eyes to Kirk to hide her sudden tears, Alyssa recalled the scene again. She would never forget it. The love of her childhood had died protecting her. Laying in her arms, Kurt traced her face with his finger, leaving a red trail dilated by her tears. His dying wish as he bled out in her arms was for her to take care. He did not feel his death was in vain, but the regret had been that he would never see his son a man and to grow old with his wife._

 _The conflict inside of her continued to boil. Alyssa allowed it to simmer before opening her eyes to face Kirk. By then, she could not hold it any longer and lost all control. She sobbed, melting right into his arms. Finding herself planted on his shoulder, she cried for a few minutes. Kirk was oddly comforting, quiet until she was finished. They separated mutually, fingers lingering gently before they resumed their previous positions._

" _I didn't want to," Alyssa admitted softly. It was liberating to confess such a horrible thing. The words continued to flow. "I couldn't allow myself to. I thought that, if I loved someone again, they would die. I am so protective of Ryder and Magda. They are all I have left."_

" _I am not planning on dying anytime soon," Kirk reassured her. He had to respect Alyssa and allow her some space. "Give this some time. I won't push you."_

" _There's something else. You're rumored to be with Admiral Ciana." The security officer's abrupt, blunt remark caught the admiral off-guard. Alyssa wasn't stupid. "I cannot be with someone else's other half. I can't be an accomplice to you cheating on her."_

" _We are hardly a couple." Kirk chucked. It was a common error and quite laughable. "We live and work together, but are not in any personal relationship."_

 _Alyssa was not convinced. "Why live together?"_

" _Her insistence." He shrugged his shoulders. "She wanted to understand diplomacy. Separate bedrooms. Scout's honor."_

 _For the first time in years, Kirk heard Alyssa laugh. Through her distress, she managed to at least find something funny. He joined her. After a few minutes, when the ship started moving, they stopped and fell into an easy conversation. First, it was about the simplest things, like family and friends and some funny stories. Then, it morphed into something more._

 _Kirk wanted to start over from the beginning, before Alyssa's assignment as his security officer five years ago, and really get to know her without forcing the truth out of her. In order for her to feel that comfortable though, he had to take the first plunge. This prompted him to talk about his life and family, from growing up in Iowa to bouncing through colonies with his father and his first arrival on the_ Enterprise _, when he was sixteen and Robert April was her captain. When it was her turn, she skimmed over a childhood wrought with religious fanatics, emotional and physical abuse and eventual rescue when she was eighteen._

 _They were so enthralled with their conversation that they almost missed Scotty's reluctant calls to depart. He was soft at first, but then became louder when nobody bothered to reply to his urgent messages. Kirk answered after the engineer buzzed him several times and told him they'll be on the transporter in a few minutes. He quickly flipped the switch off and looked at Alyssa sadly. They both were disappointed to hear that they reached Kepler III._

 _Kirk motioned Alyssa to follow him back to the transporter room. Ensuring that nothing remained of their private talk, they exited the admiral's quarters. Indicating that there was nothing between them save for the professional, walked to their destination, with Kirk at the lead and Alyssa three paces behind. Meeting the engineer shortly afterward in the transporter room, they took their places on the pad. They allowed Scotty the opportunity to fine-tune the system before they beamed down._

 _Kirk had been holding his breath, unsure of what he was going to see. He released it when he noticed his new surroundings, deep in the woods as he was. Kepler III was beautiful. While hardly any cities had been built, a large crude civilization different from Synprilox had been formed. It mostly consisted of community work. Children ran underfoot as both men and women assisted each other in their daily chores. Sentries were posted here and there, to protect and serve. Laborers cultivated and farmed large fields some acres away._

 _Nobody noticed their arrival or called out. It was a quiet observation. Standing as he did with Alyssa on the edge of their town, obscured by the greenery, Kirk watched with awe as the day unfolded, the opposite of its sister planet a lightyear away. It was peaceful and without incident, a harmony of some sort. Here too was a group of people who managed to give the best of their talents to create this utopia._

" _What do you think?" Alyssa was excited. She was the glee on Kirk's face and thought he would reply in a positive manner._

" _Wonderful," Kirk answered. "Unbelievable."_

 _He reached over to hold her. This time, Alyssa consented and returned the embrace. Together, they remained content in this arrangement and watched the town happenings. Eventually, Kirk mentioned that he wished to meet some people. Alyssa agreed, disengaging and taking the role of guide._

 _All the while, the security officer thought too. For the first time since her husband died, she felt a new kind of joy inside of her. She could not define it. She hadn't been able to since Kirk's arrival the month before. However, she wished it lasted a long time. Other than Magda and Ryder, she truly had nobody else. Her circle was completed._


	16. An Obstacle Course

Cartwright paced his office for several minutes after Kirk arrived for their appointed meeting. Hands behind his back, he huffed a few wordless grunts at Kirk in greeting and dismissed everyone else in his area, refusing to speak more until he appeared to have calmed down. When he did, he indicated that the admiral sit opposite of him, the desk between them. Cartwright refused to begin until Kirk was comfortable. It was a courtesy and a good indicator nonetheless.

Kirk studied Cartwright for a moment before the conversation began. Suspicions roused inside of him, but he kept that in the back of his mind. If whatever Spock indicated was right, then Cartwright was involved in the Thyrian conspiracy and was hiding something. There was no evidence yet, but the Vulcan would never mention something indirectly without reason. He found no evidence of it in Lori's files though and that was a little disconcerting. He would have to do the digging himself.

 _Spock wouldn't leave me astray. What other information does he have?_

Cartwright pacified himself. "What is wrong with you, Jim?" he demanded. "You agreed to be a part of this council, but you also seem to think you have more pressing matters than diplomacy. You run off and decide that law does not make a difference. Already, you're showing that some Starfleet officer is in charge of a man suspected of murdering the Thyrians. Why are you following along?"

 _Jason Lattimer, accused of killing his own people?_ Kirk was incredulous. The accusations were hefty indeed.

Cartwright did not notice Kirk's expressions and continued. "Right now, the conference has been suspended due to your actions and the Thyrians are threatening war. That too has been abated, but without placation."

"They can threat all they want," Kirk contested hotly. "The allegations are false. Captain Elma is not hiding their prisoner."

"What the hell were you two doing in San Diego then?" Cartwright hold his hands so tightly together that the brown skin almost turned white. He was obviously restraining himself from causing a scene.

"Captain Elma had a lead concerning the safety of the conference." Kirk wasn't lying. He wasn't going to reveal the specifics yet since Cartwright did not need to know. "We've traveled incognito in order to determine the validity of the claim. We hardly have any solid proof and have not revealed anything to prevent panic. It is still under investigation."

"Why wasn't I informed? Captain Elma should have reported this to me. She indicated there was no threat."

"As head of _all_ Starfleet security, Captain Elma reserves the right to keep anything confidential if there is no hard evidence. She was practicing discretion and would have reported to you at the best opportunity had there been something. Besides, Lance, she was working on an anonymous tip and discovered a thread that has so far led to a possible dead end. Why does she need to tell you that?"

"You're correct, Jim, but I know there's something else. You're both using regulations to keep something important under a rug."

"There's nothing else. If there is, you'll be the first to know."

"I doubt it. But why you? Why can't Captain Elma confine in another?"

"Who else can she trust, Lance? Let's be honest. Captain Elma had been isolated at Synprilox until the year before. Who has she been in contact with?"

"Some of your other former crewmembers. There are a few notables I can name."

"And all of them are not on Earth except for a handful and they are not in San Francisco. Most of them are above our heads, in training or elsewhere in space."

Cartwright glared at Kirk. "If I find that you and Captain Elma are holding out on information, Jim, you will be punished by the book. I will not hold back. In the end, you're going to wish that you were never admitted into Starfleet. You _will_ be breaking rocks on a colony. Dismissed!"

Kirk didn't bother to salute Cartwright. Feeling pretty heated and defensive himself and doing his best to control his temper, he returned to his office. Throughout the walk back though, he noticed how everyone was whispering when he passed them. Rumors had a way of getting around the building, he knew, but never as bad as this. The names thrown around were connected to him.

None of them mentioned Alyssa directly as far as he heard, only that the Thyrians were up to something (whatever it was, good or bad) and that it involved Kirk himself. This was only the beginning. Somehow, that link to Synprilox was going to be known and it was going to splatter some mud on their guests. Once Kirk had the upper hand, the Thyrians will be begging for a new agreement or leaving.

 _And that would be pure entertainment for a while._

His private area was quiet and without anybody begging for favors (a relief to Kirk in many ways). Riley locked up the office as soon as the admiral entered and sat down. By then, the aide bustled quietly, albeit with passive aggressive hostility. That was unusual, even by his standards. Riley was open and cheery and never had to hide anything. When he finally stood before Kirk's desk bravely, the admiral knew that something was wrong. Even the seriousness on Riley's face did nothing to dispel the obvious hurt.

"Admiral, I have served you to the best of my abilities, but I need to know if there is something else I need to do for you." Riley kept the pain out of his voice, but the tone indicated that he felt betrayed. "There has been several times in which questionable actions have been performed on your part. I want some clarification since some officers have been talking and asking questions."

Kirk was afraid of this. He smiled at Riley warmly. "What do you need clarification on, Riley?"

"The Thyrian counsel, Sir," the aide said. Those words explained everything. He ticked the problems off. "The library has discovered that some material on Thyria is missing and I know I checked it in. Your disappearances to San Diego have been noted, although I have no idea why you would leave without telling me. There was the attempt on the life of the Thyrian head. Captain Elma's name has been tossed around several times. It's said that she is involved in some plot and that you have knowledge of it."

"The good captain and I were investigating a claim." Kirk decided to stick with the same story. "We did not know where it would lead. So far, nothing came of it."

"I think you're hiding more from me… _Sir_ ," he insisted rudely. "You cannot mean to leave people in the dark."

Kirk had to admit that Riley had a point. Regardless, he wasn't going to ring him in yet. It was best to keep this Chief of Staff ignorant of all matters this time around. At the moment, he was safer ignorant. Until then, he could be used against Kirk and he could not afford that. Besides, when all was said and done and the reports completed, Riley will have his answers.

"Discretion is sometimes the key," Kirk quickly said. "It does not mean that my trust in you is lacking. It means that some people need to be protected when there is danger. I cannot deny that I rely on you heavily, Riley. But this time, I cannot allow you to be taken into confidence until I have all of the facts before me. For the time being, you'll have to depend on the usual channels."

Riley was not satisfied with the answer. His lips were so thin and white that they almost disappeared into his face. However, he did not argue the point. He did the best he could not to throw what seemed like a temper tantrum in front of the admiral. Instead, he fluttered around the office like a butterfly, touching each task here and there with the same attitude as before. Eventually, he soothed himself and apologized to Kirk.

When a communicator rang in the outer room, Riley went to answer it, leaving Kirk alone with his thoughts. The admiral did not bother eavesdropping, believing it to another officer who required his attention. He heard the faraway voice of his aide though, tuning it out more to concentrate on what pieces he had so far. Without Riley so prominent in the picture, he afforded himself the time to connect them together.

Riley returned a few minutes later, white-faced and shaking. "Admiral, channel two call for you. Privacy has been requested."

This caught Kirk's interest. "On this screen, Riley. I'll keep in here, between us."

The aide nodded affirmation and left, transferring the call over. It flickered and steadied itself on a sole figure. Immediately, Kirk saw Alyssa's pale face. She wasn't in the building training the cadets or at home relaxing, he knew. She was within the city limits, being held in what appeared to be Starfleet's brig in the security sector some blocks away.

Behind her weren't the usual guards either, although there was a mesh of them in the background being held at the rear. Kirk recognized the warden too, frozen in a state of protest along with his subordinates. The admiral could not blame them, especially with the roughhousing caused by their guests, the Thyrians. These aliens were accosting Alyssa like she was a prisoner and treating all parties and regulations without courtesy. The only one they offered was for the security officer to make her one plea to someone in the outside world.

"Captain, what is the meaning of this?" Kirk did not forget who he was, feigning outrage. He wasn't going to show anyone his cold fear. "Where are you?"

"Admiral, I would hope you would explain the situation better to these men than I can," Alyssa replied calmly. "This would be my only call. Currently, I am being accused of conspiracy, treason and obstruction of justice and am being held in Starfleet's local stockade at Alcatraz. I am pleading my innocence to you as a survivor of the tragedy that occurred to Synprilox over a year ago."

~00~

 _Even though the town interested them, Kirk and Alyssa remained in the wooded area for a few more minutes, their arms tangled against each other. Their eyes raked each other and then the beauty of the calmed settlement as the security officer explained some specifics. In the end, Alyssa found it hard to go on. She willed herself to keep her vision on the people she sought to protect. However, she found it easy to draw herself closer and touch Kirk._

 _Stopping her lecture, she gently grabbed Kirk and melted right into another embrace. Facing the admiral, she laid her head against his chest, listening to the beating of his racing heart. Even grieved for a dead man, there was no doubt in her mind that she loved him. Yes, there had been another chance for happiness, but Alyssa was finding it fleeting. She would make the best of it though and use that time wisely. It wasn't only the limited days Kirk had, but also his own emotions._

 _There was no doubt that Kirk came with a reputation. Even before his tenure as captain, he had been known as a ladies' man. He was faithful to each relationship he had though, carefully cultivating the image of the perfect gentlemen before passionate turmoil ruined each love affair. Alyssa had to wonder how each ceased to exist, flickered out like a moth to a flame, and how she'll fare compared to those others. She knew that she came with so much baggage that would tear anybody apart. She only hoped that it would not ruin one of the best things that happened to her since her marriage to Kurt Hemmingway._

 _That would be fine for now, although Alyssa clung onto Kirk like a drowning person would to something afloat. She will take advantage of her feelings and time all she wanted, but the short tenure would make it impossible to cope afterward. Once the moment came, she resolved that she will deal with it, even though her heart will break. She will not cling to Kirk forever._

 _Kirk combed his fingers through her black and white hair. "Are you going to grow this out?"_

 _Alyssa almost did not hear him. "Oh. I don't know. Maybe, maybe not."_

" _I seem to recall it was long at some point."_

" _And tied up to get out of the way. It was annoying to keep my hair so long. It was convenient for lovers, not for work."_

 _Kirk recognized that she referred to her dead husband. Kurt did love Alyssa's hair girlish too. "You don't need to mourn forever, Alyssa. Be free, be yourself. Behind that security officer and mother, there's a layer that is purely_ you _. Where is it?"_

" _Hiding behind the scared child, the confused teenager, the silent adult and the cautious Starfleet officer and mother."_

 _Kirk laughed. "We'll see what's behind that. Now, you want to give me the rest of that tour?"_

 _Alyssa obliged. Pretending once more that she was the perfect guide, she released herself from Kirk and positioned herself as a professional officer. Her face contoured into a mask before leading them into the clearing and explaining each station. Nobody took notice of them for a few minutes until someone approached them. He appeared to be the leader. He was chatting angrily in the same language that Kirk heard earlier in the day._

 _Disturbed, Alyssa responded carefully, introducing the admiral and perhaps telling the stranger their purpose here. It was a few minutes before the man calmed down. When he did, he allowed them to pass. Sighing in relief, she straightened out her posture and brought them to a more private corner, out of the way of the colonists' work. From their standing position, she pointed out buildings and houses, the order of operations and who was in charge of what._

 _Kepler III was a rural planet, a paradise that seemed too perfect to Kirk until Alyssa elaborated on its harshness. Underneath that façade was a tough world that did not show any mercy upon settlement. The refugees that initially arrived had to labor hard to survive, using their combined skills and resources in order to replicate Synprilox and learn from its mistakes. Once they achieved that within a year, the rest was easy, although there were always the usual difficulties of any newly-established town. Most of it involved petty disputes and the occasional domestic fight._

 _Alyssa moved on. Occasionally, she was stopped by another person and asked questions. She answered them politely and sometimes urged them to move on. Kirk saw the reason. He was obviously a Starfleet officer they did not care for either. He was still blamed here as an instigator to their misery. Granted, he could take that role since he recommended Synprilox for Federation membership and protection. Whatever happened afterward was none of his business…until now._

 _When the two rested on a rock nearby the edge of the farming fields, Kirk spoke frankly. He thought back to their first greeter. "What did you tell him?"_

" _Tell who?" Alyssa waved down a peddler for food and exchanged some sort of currency for their meal. She handed some bread to Kirk before expressing her confusion plainly. "What do you mean?"_

" _That first man there. He stopped us."_

" _Oh, Talmont? He's always suspicious and gets everyone else excited for no reason. Don't mind him, Admiral. He's been through enough already."_

 _Kirk_ hated _it when Alyssa named him by rank. However, with so many people milling about them now, he knew that she had to hide her feelings. He almost wanted to explode at her though. It was becoming too easy to be embroiled in Alyssa's world, to take her into his arms and to give her comfort because she held the world on her shoulders. There was so much they could say to each other, to make their lives more completed, and yet…_ yet _…he was having a hard time keeping that inside of him. He called upon all of his power as a Starfleet officer to keep composed._

 _He continued the conversation to distract himself. "Has everyone been through so much too?"_

" _Well, everyone has their own story," Alyssa explained carefully. She swallowed the last of her food. "Each person here has lost something precious to them. Sometimes, it's their home. Other times, it's a friend or a family member. Children sometimes have lost their innocence and parents a sense of purpose. There's more on Kepler III that has been shattered than just the loss of life."_

" _It's akin to those seeking religious and political freedom. They need to give up on the familiar in order to start anew."_

" _In a sense, I supposed, Admiral, but history also has a way of repeating itself in a million different scenarios and in more circumstances. Here, yes, it is different. Every new arrival means that there is a new beginning and a way for them to heal. The laws remain the same or sometimes are changed to reflect their common goals. I has to be for the good of the people, not the individual. They all depend on each other though and that's what is important to them."_

" _You said it was community work. Has that helped?"_

" _In many ways, I'd say. A lot of people have lost their sorrow in helping others. There are some stories that have told us of reunification, adaption and assimilation. All of them are good ways to forget the old troubles."_

" _Are there any counselors?"_

" _Presently, no." Alyssa frowned. "It is something we should consider. The need is always there."_

 _The chatter went on like this for a few minutes before it petered out. By then, Kirk had finished his meal and deemed their landing finished. Alyssa stood to stretch her limbs, using her communicator to request a beam up simultaneously. Kirk did the same as he stood up, taking once last glance before being transported back to the ship and Synprilox. The scene quickly faded away just as the security officer announced that Scotty was at the helm and pinpointing their coordinates._

 _Upon their return to the transporter room, it became apparent to them both that something was amiss and that they had been the targets of gossip. The engineer, possibly their main antagonist, was beaming from ear to ear and quite red in the face. Kirk assumed that he had been drinking the whole time while mouthing away happily. Indeed, he glanced from the admiral to the security officer, winking and hiding back a smirk. Alyssa took this as a hint to leave, excusing herself in an embarrassed manner._

 _Kirk faced Scotty, stoic. He wasn't going to let on that there was something between him and Alyssa, although it might be obvious after their time alone in his quarters and Kepler III. Scotty knew that Kirk was often flirting with the women. Alyssa did not seem to be an exception, although something was different…and that was what made this so special._

" _She's a pretty lass, Sir, if ya don't mind me sayin'," Scotty said. "She was then and she is now. Ya a lucky man."_

" _Commander Elma is only the host, Scotty," Kirk confirmed without betraying his inner turmoil. "Synprilox is another planet with a tour."_

" _Aye, but with a woman, ya canna go wrong."_

 _Kirk smiled. "It might be temporary. It might not. I never know."_

" _We can forget it, Sir, with a wee sip. Do ya care for one?"_

 _Kirk had to think about it for a minute. The hot and cold attitude needed to be numbed and he longed for familiar company too. "To forget some woes, Scotty, I think a drink_ is _in order."_

 _Scotty put his hands on the admiral's shoulders in a friendly gesture. "Aye, just say the word, Admiral."_

" _Mr. Scott, the word is given," Kirk replied confidentially. "The word is given."_


	17. Under a Microscope

Kirk felt his heart thump right into his throat, uttering no reply. Panicking more as the contact was cut short, he sprang into action. Ordering Riley to remain put and to stall all calls and to cancel all meetings for the day, he stormed right out of his office and pushed his way through several crowds of surprised people to catch a transport to Alcatraz. The admiral was in no mood for delays. If there was any sense left with those Starfleet law enforcers, they would have detained the Thyrians for presumption alone.

Immediately after his departure from the building, Cartwright joined him at his side. He wasn't too pleased about something, his mood worse off than their morning tête-à-tête. However, Kirk was sure that the admiral was on their side, the way he muttered to himself about contacts and how he dreaded receiving word about something stupid being conducting elsewhere. It was obvious Cartwright received word about Alyssa and was already on the case.

 _Yes, but how? How did Lance Cartwright manage to find out so fast? Alyssa is only allowed one call and that was to me._

"What do you know?" Cartwright barked.

Kirk was quick to respond. "The Thyrians are holding Captain Elma in the security district, on Alcatraz. Her only call was to me."

"What is she accused of?" Cartwright asked.

"She said conspiracy, treason and obstruction of justice."

"There is no evidence that she was conducting any of the charges. I have it on my personal authority."

"I'm aware, Lance. She was investigating, not instigating."

Cartwright swore under his breath. He hailed a transport for the pair outside and ordered it to their destination, damning all others who needed their ride. "What did you find, Jim?" He was curious. "You said it was a dead end. I wouldn't think so, the way the Thyrians are holding Captain Elma."

Kirk decided that it was time to play a new game called ignorance. "The Thyrian prisoner might be on Earth and have some significant impact on our dealings," he explained. Even that sounded too revealing, so he continued his lie. "As I've said, Captain Elma also received word of a threat to the council and thought that it was best to check it out while she could. There has been evidence to the contrary otherwise, nothing more."

"I've asked what kind of threat and you won't tell me. What is it, Jim?"

"Sabotage."

"What _kind_ of sabotage, Jim?"

"Anything that will threat peace, Lance. What else would it be?"

Cartwright was not satisfied with the answers still and hoped this would be different than earlier. "I am hoping you and Captain Elma will be able to explain more in my office when she is released. In the meantime, let's pretend for the time being that she is totally innocent and not under the influence of her former commanding officer."

Kirk hated it when people pointed out that Alyssa used to be on the _Enterprise_. Ignoring the obvious jab, he tried to enjoy the journey to Starfleet's local temporary prison and found himself more nervous than he was before. He took a deep breath to quiet down this new energy and focused instead of their destination. Even so, the trip itself was shorter than expected, considering Cartwright's urgent orders to the driver.

Situated on the other side of the bay on what was the former historical site called Alcatraz, the housing unit held criminals of all types, most of them political and social radicals that were going to be transferred to their appropriate rehabilitation center or some colony for hard labor. Sometimes, because Starfleet worked so closely with the Federation, their own condemned would be jailed there if no colony or star base would have them before they were shipped elsewhere.

Kirk also had to remind himself why he despised these types of jails as much as Cartwright's cheap shots and why he longed to keep away from them. It wasn't only the prisoners he wasn't in charge of, but the despair and desperation in each cell. As a commander and then a flag officer, he sought order and often, places such as Alcatraz made his skin crawl with its lack of discipline. Sometimes, it was easier to forget them than to pay heed to their own cries of distress about their unfair situations.

Their arrival caused some fury of activity, most of it a rush for the proper people to greet the two officers and to make their entry more comfortable. The chief warden ran out of meet the two, expressing his apologies for the lack of courtesy and escorting them to the main office. Kirk remembered from the video call from Alyssa that he had been held hostage while the security officer made her plea. He then began to wonder how and why this person was able to escape and grant them these pleasantries.

 _The Thyrians could be staging their own act._

After signing in, he asked them the purpose of their trip to the island. Cartwright cut in and did not allow Kirk the chance to speak. He only stated coldly that they were here to see Alyssa Elma and to bring her back to Headquarters. He added that they felt there was no reason for her staying and that the charges were bogus.

"On whose authority was Captain Elma arrested?" Cartwright inquired, continuing to glance at the head jailer. The admiral already knew the answer, as Kirk saw it, and wanted something for the record.

"Mine," the warden bravely admitted. He wasn't fazed by Cartwright's anger. "Admiral, you're aware, as well as I am, that I have the authority to arrest and keep anybody suspected of any serious charges, especially from Starfleet. My weight is higher than yours."

"Who brought you the charges? Was it something from Starfleet?"

"No, Sir. It was a Thyrian named Kleanem. He stated that he is a guest of the Federation and that Captain Alyssa Elma conspired against them while they were visiting. He added that she had been for the past decade and that no action could have been taken until now. Procedures had to be followed. She was picked up and is facing interrogation now."

Kirk never liked that word. Interrogation could mean many things. As a captain, he always ensured that it was an easy process, even when the person in question was most obviously a crook. However, other officers and officials were not so kind. Inhumane questioning methods have been outlawed over the years, from water boarding to isolation and beatings. On the other hand, it never stopped some in order to obtain the information they wanted, whether or not it is true. He was afraid that this was the case with Alyssa.

"I hope it remained on a verbal level," Cartwright warned.

The warden was offended. "I would not allow the captain's accusers inside the room. They were rough and zealous, yes, but they too have to learn the rules."

Kirk was not convinced and tried hard to keep control of his temper. _You allowed the Thyrians control when you held the keys. They were not following the rules. You already broke them._

Cartwright saw this, but he also caught onto something else. "What do you mean?"

"Well," he replied with hesitation, "the Thyrians are quite…well, _interested_ …in Captain Elma. They insisted that they alone had the right to incarcerate her. They mentioned another prisoner as well. They wished to take them both back to their home planet."

"Federation law denies that."

"I am aware of the regulations, Admiral Cartwright. Currently, my deputy is holding her until release."

"When will that be?"

"If satisfactory answers are given, it will be tonight."

Kirk would have cut in, but Cartwright was quicker. "Admiral Kirk and I vouch for her innocence. That will be all. Thank you."

Cartwright led the way outside and to their transport. He offered no opportunity for conversation. When they were on their way back and the driver paid them no attention, he spoke. "Jim, I need more answers than what you're giving me. You cannot leave me in the dark like this."

Kirk leaned back in his seat carefully. "About what specifically?"

"You are holding something back," Cartwright repeated. He was persistent. "Why would the Thyrians want Captain Elma that badly? Dammit!"

"Something to do with Synprilox?" Kirk suggested.

"Jim, most of her Starfleet career was spent on that forsaken plant until last year. Of course, it had everything to do with Synprilox! What did she do?!"

"Her duty, as far as I am aware. I assume nothing more and nothing less."

"Jim, you're hiding evidence of something. If I find out…"

"Lance, I'm aware. If Captain Elma or myself had any information, you'd be the first to now."

Cartwright was not reassured by this, hardly relaxing. "I hope so. We'll see if the captain is released tonight. If she is, I want you and her to meet me in my office. Logistics can be figured out later."

Kirk did not like this, finding another meeting most annoying. He informed Cartwright of what he believed to be all he needed to know. However, he had other ideas and was pretty pushy. Kirk was suspicious and did not feel him dependable yet. Regardless, what did Cartwright want to know? Why was he so curious about their comings and goings? Was it because of Starfleet and the Federation were curious? Where was he going with the questioning? Why does he have an interest in Alyssa too?

More questions remained, things Kirk thought of as they reached Headquarters, but he set them aside when he recalled how Alyssa was transferred. Admiral Nogura was the one who ordered Alyssa to be transferred to San Francisco and a higher power than he trickled down the order. Who was it and why? Who would want Alyssa and Kirk in the same room, dealing with the same people? Granted, Alyssa was security and Kirk was decoration. It could have been a coincidence, but he doubted it. They were somehow connected to this conference…and somebody needed them together.

Kirk separated from Cartwright upon their arrival at Headquarters, promising to convene at a later point, and headed to his office with a sudden conviction. Already, it was dusk and there was much to finish. Riley was busy, startled to see Kirk returned. He babbled to the admiral about the work completed and who had contacted the office. The admiral waved them away, settling into his chair and sinking into an aura of tiredness. He allowed Riley to continue the list before asking him to secure the doors.

Riley was confused. "Why, Admiral? Does this have to do with Captain Elma?"

"In many ways," he replied cautiously. "You've been wondering why my behavior has been strange. Is that right?"

"Yes, Sir." The aide wasn't going to sugarcoat anything and seemed eager to hear more.

Kirk nodded evenly. "I think it's time you learn more, Riley. Now, the tables have turned and I am going to need someone to cover on this end."

"You know I would do anything for the greater good, Admiral."

"I understand you would, Riley. I have a story to tell you. It began almost twenty years ago though."

"The _Enterprise_ , Sir?"

"Yes. It was a mission so unusual that even I had to be amazed. Those involved had the audacity to conspire and under the very nose of Starfleet too. The subsequent events were equally extraordinary."

"Is this about Synprilox?"

"Yes, it is, Riley." Kirk pondered the events from the original _Enterprise_ mission and even what proved to be the beginning of the end. "It was Synprilox all along. Usually, they say that the planet itself was a deadly paradise, ready to pull one apart. However, you can do just about anything there in secret, including risking everything for love."

~00~

 _Kirk had spent the rest of the trip back to Synprilox with Scotty. While Engineering wasn't too comfortable on the_ Juniper _, it was still wonderful to sit with an old friend and drink. They did not discuss much either, catching up on the various crewmembers from the_ Enterprise _and talking of its refit with William Decker at the helm. Kirk often wondered what happened with his old crew. He did not mention that only Riley was available to remind him of those times. He honestly missed his ship, wondering how he was persuaded to be promoted in the first place._

Lori…

 _He thought of her less and less. When he did, he was confused by her behavior. Kirk was fond enough of Lori, allowing himself to be twisted around her little pinkie, and followed her orders and answered her unusual questions. However, it did not seem that he loved her like he did with Alyssa. Sure, it was an attraction that they mutually connected to. A deep understanding of each other without politics and paperwork? No, it was not possible._

 _Finally, when they were orbiting above Synprilox, Scotty allowed the admiral leave, waving goodbye as he prepared for the landing. Kirk did not see Alyssa on his way. He managed to miss her in the hustle of transporting cargo and people to and from the ship. When he beamed down to the surface though, she was waiting for him, standing by the grove of trees they kissed under in the storm. She was talking into a communicator, requesting transportation with some cover since it was raining. Kirk joined her quietly. He waited for her to finish and to close her communicator before speaking._

" _I would recommend moving everybody you can at every opportunity," he suggested. He thought that sticking with Keplar III was a safe bet. "The Federation will be interested in this new colony of yours."_

 _Alyssa was slightly startled and blushed briefly. She recovered quickly. "Yes, I suppose so. But I have not received any word. We've been sending reports to Earth, but nothing has come of it."_

" _Who are you sending them to?" Kirk's heart sank. He knew the answer._

" _Admiral Ciana." Alyssa was uncomfortable admitting the information, uttering the name so quietly that Kirk almost did not catch it. "She requested that I keep this under wraps. She's part of a special task force designated to explore Synprilox and the relationship with the Federation. She also has me sort of spying on her."_

 _Kirk did not want to address the last confession yet, choosing instead to focus on the main point. "The agreement is a done deal. It's something that cannot be broken."_

" _Admiral, you know as well as I do that all treaties can be broken and new ones made. However, this is not a matter of it being broken or the Federation ignoring distress pleas. Admiral Ciana is concerned about the Starfleet presence on the planet and has been researching a lot of things, mostly what Synprilox was before our arrival. I thought she informed you when you left."_

 _Suddenly, pieces began to be put together. Kirk now pulled the spying bit into the picture. Alyssa was Lori's source of information. The questions concerning the security officer's loyalty to her uniform was ensuring that another set of eyes saw the same thing she was, a ruse that Lori kept up in order to make people believe that Alyssa was somebody else. The other part, Kirk, was just a toy, easily used and cast aside in favor of another. She was using him as part of another game._

 _Lori would have other people telling her tidbits from Synprilox, he resolved, and that was that. He would just be the official report. If she asked for anything else, he would respond as vaguely as he could. There was no reason why he should be left in the dark anymore. Most certainly, he cannot be fooled again._

 _Kirk smiled to dispel his annoyance. His hands went behind his back. "No. I was not informed of this plan. I assume now that this has been an understanding between you two for some time. I will not get in the way of it."_

 _Alyssa nodded in understanding, allowing an awkward silence between them. There was nothing more to say and the professional walls had to be maintained. After all that happened on their way to Keplar III, Kirk could not blame her. There must have been so much running through her head that she needed time to sort them out. He did too. It wasn't just Lori. It was also the rushing in his heart._

 _He was convinced of his feelings though, convinced that it will last longer than his inspection tour. He hoped she would realize the same. Alyssa wasn't one for sentiment and romance, Kirk mused. She was locking away opportunity and grasping at straws just to survive._

 _After half an hour of this stance, their ride arrived. Magda, scowling when she saw the pair, kept herself under control. When Alyssa drew closer to the enclosed vehicle, the nursemaid mentioned something to her about Ryder quietly. The security officer waved away the concerns, only saying within earshot that Magda was exaggerating. There didn't seem to be anything wrong._

 _Indeed, the five-year-old was bouncing in his back seat, the straps holding him secured bulging and stretching out with each hop. He exclaimed a gleeful greeting to his mother, but clammed up when he saw the admiral. He turned away when Kirk smiled, directing his attention to Alyssa. His arms reaching out for her in a manner that begged for comfort. This was a familiar place, but the circumstances were wrong. Kirk wasn't supposed to be here._

 _Alyssa was having none of it for the moment, viewing her motherly feelings as a sign of weakness. Her face was like stone. Taking the opposite seat next to Ryder, she motioned Kirk to sit with Magda up front. As he obeyed, he noticed that she controlled her son, talking to him softly albeit sternly. He did not notice Magda offering him a towel to dry himself with. Absentmindedly, he took it and gave it to Alyssa. She took it and put it to one side._

 _Kirk did not catch anything, straining his ears to listen. He thought it best to see Alyssa in this role instead of the practiced mask she wore constantly. He found nothing of interest. The best he got was the tone, which was firm and cold. This calmed the child immediately, although Ryder was somewhat sullen by this attitude. This also blanketed the remaining party._

 _Magda was a capable driver and arrived at the house within minutes. Luckily, the rain had stopped by then and water dripped off of rooftops and trees instead of splashing on the windshield. She parked the vehicle and started the process of unlocking gates and doors before anyone else exited the vehicle. Alyssa reached for Ryder and unbuckled him. Kirk followed closely behind her._

 _Already, there was trouble before the nursemaid's entry inside. Kirk's two guards were sitting outside, irritated that they had abandoned and soaking wet from their excursion searching for Kirk. They spoke to Magda in sharp voices when she joined their morose circle, expressing Starfleet regulations were essential to followed and why they could not be locked from their assignment. When they saw Alyssa drawing closer with her son, they informed her of the same thing._

 _Kirk watched the exchange. When he showed himself behind Alyssa, the two guards melted and allowed him to pass without further complaint. Magda gained access and allowed the trio inside. The security officer stayed behind to talk with her. Kirk had disappeared upstairs with his men, all of them talking at once. The women entered releasing their charge to his toys. They waited until Ryder was out of earshot before conducting their secret conversation._

" _What happened out there?" Magda hissed. "You were out for a long time and were seen together."_

" _Seen doing what?" Alyssa was amused, but shaky. She was now afraid that someone had figured out her interaction and admiration of Kirk._

" _Hiding behind some trees," she recounted. "Holding hands. Kissing. Beaming off of the planet."_

" _I was giving the admiral a tour of our immigration station," the security officer persisted. "There isn't anything between us."_

 _Magda stared at Alyssa squarely. "I hope not. If so, you know I would do everything in my power to protect you and Ryder. I promised the chancellor this and I promise it to you too. Anything you have with Admiral Kirk, I will deny with my dying breath. Nothing can come between you and survival, Alyssa. This planet will eat you alive."_


	18. Hush!

Alyssa was exhausted. Released from prison without the Thyrians knowing of her discharge, she took a transport and then walked back to Headquarters before night had fallen. Her step was hurried. She knew that her daughter was going to worry about her and wonder why she was not picked up. Worse, the girl will be stuck with a random officer until she arrived.

That alone was embarrassing enough. Alyssa did not want to explain why she was delayed to anyone, least of all to Ali. It was bad enough that events beyond her control were cornering her to admit the truth. More than anything else, Alyssa did not want to explain to her daughter the events that caused them to be on Earth and tangled with Kirk.

In many ways though, Alyssa was lucky. Although it was a frightening experience to be picked up by a foreign delegation and taken in as if she were a prisoner, she prevailed. She maintained her innocence, supported by two admirals, and was released when no evidence was forthcoming.

The Thyrians were angry of course, demanding that she remain behind for a tougher interrogation. They insisted that she was hiding something about Synprilox, blaring their opinions loudly. While nothing official had been released about the planet, what the warden only understood was that it was attacked and decimated. Alyssa was set free on this knowledge alone.

It made it all the more imperative for her and Kirk to find Jason Lattimer. If the Thyrians were keen on keeping her imprisoned, a survivor of the Synprilox tragedy, then they would be more interested in the only half-Thyrian outside their planet, especially since she was tracking him with Kirk. On the other hand, what their plans are remained a mystery to her. She hoped that Kirk's digging would yield something more than promises and keeping her in the dark.

Alyssa immediately ran for the daycare. She found Ali standing outside with her teacher, the two chatting about something. By the way they were interacting, Ali was trying to gain the upper hand on a topic as the adult gulped and sought to hide her nervousness. The instructor was relieved to see Alyssa, making an excuse about her departure and adding a message about a summons from Cartwright to Alyssa before disappearing. Alyssa looked at Ali severely, asking for an explanation.

Ali shrugged her shoulders. "Lieutenant Klein didn't believe me."

" _Right_ ," Alyssa replied sarcastically, beginning their walk to Cartwright's office. "What were you arguing about?"

"The Thyrians," Ali said proudly. "I was telling the lieutenant how –"

"I don't think we need to make anybody jittery," Alyssa interrupted quickly. "There have been incidents, Ali, and we sometimes need to be cautious of who we speak to. Some ears are not sympathetic."

Her daughter pouted. "I didn't reveal your job details. I used logic."

Alyssa wanted to laugh. She deduced that Ali would have made a perfect Vulcan with her computing and critical thinking skills, but would be too emotional and high-strung and would not like the dietary restrictions. Slowing down, she managed to reach the outside of their destination. She was surprised to see an extremely young officer standing outside. She exclaimed, noting her son Ryder. He returned to her early and so shortly after his graduation from the Academy too.

Ryder slowly turned to face his mother and sister, smiling the confident grin that Alyssa had seen in his father, Kurt Hemmingway. Tall, dark-haired and quite the catch, the sixteen-year-old was already dressed in a junior officer's uniform, shedding his Academy persona for something more mature. He appeared to also having a meeting with Cartwright and patiently awaiting orders to come in. hence his seriousness. Alyssa did not like the prospect, gulping as she held her son in a tight embrace.

He was the one who broke it when she clung too closely. "Mom," Ryder greeted. His eyes went to Ali in a typical roll. "Little sister."

"Not so little anymore," Ali insisted. She crossed her arms stubbornly.

"No," he agreed, "but still just as annoying."

Alyssa cut in before the two siblings picked up a more intense argument. "What are you doing here, Ryder? I wasn't expecting you for a few more days."

Her son was grave. "I have been assigned to a ship, but it is currently dry docked. We were supposed to be underway. My vacation had been cut."

"That's…unusual."

"Well, we are involved with protecting the Thyrians council's ship. We've been designated as their escort during and after the conference. I've been grounded here."

"Much as I love to see you, I find this disturbing. Your ship and the crew aren't meant for this type of security."

"I agree, Mom. I also find it worse that I've been called to Admiral Cartwright's office."

"Whatever for?" Alyssa felt panic well inside of her. She fought hard not to protect her son and demand that he leave so that she could handle it.

 _He's a man now. He can handle any interrogation by Lance Cartwright. He's his father's son through and through._

"He stated that he wished to discuss Synprilox," Ryder revealed. "Since I was at the Academy the last few years, there is little information I can give him."

"I'm sure you remember the rules I had," Alyssa said, trying to laugh. Her merriment came out forced and like a snort.

"Where is Magda anyway?" Ryder was confused. "I thought she would have been here with Ali."

"Gone," his sister said sadly. Suddenly, Ali turned around, smiling. "Hello, Admiral."

Quickly, Ryder and Alyssa whipped their heads around. "Admiral," Ryder nodded respectfully.

"Jim ,what are you doing here?" Alyssa asked. She was surprised that a party was forming and all of them to see the same person.

 _And about the same issue._

The siblings exchanged glances at the faux pas. Ali wanted to say something to her brother, but Ryder was faster. Elbowing her in the side, he smiled and saluted. Alyssa halfheartedly did the same thing to correct herself. Kirk returned the same. He took Alyssa to one side, away from her children.

"I hope you're well," he said softly.

"You don't need to worry about me," she reassured him. "I can take care of myself."

"Not what Doctor McCoy has said."

"That sneak!"

"Well, that sneak gives me important information. Now, why are you here?"

"I was told by Ali's teacher to be here. I figured Cartwright wanted some answer and would have come anyway without an invite. What's the story we're sticking to?"

"You've been investigating a lead and found a dead end. I came along." Kirk glanced at Ali and Ryder. The two had been whispering to each other. The former was giggling hysterically while the former tried to keep a dignified stance. "Do they know anything about us?"

"Oh, I'm sure," Alyssa answered confidentially. "Ryder knew that you had a special place in my heart. You treated him like your own son. He hasn't forgotten that. He's talked to me about it over the years and promised to never tell his sister. He agrees that it would be best for her."

"And Ali?" Kirk was concerned about her the most.

Alyssa had to think about it. "I believe she has an inkling. She won't get the truth, not now anyway. Ali's too young. She can be used as a tool. She also can be picked on and compared to her famous father."

"And infamous mother." The admiral grinned. "You've rocked a few boats yourself."

Alyssa feigned outraged. "I daresay the rocking was none of my doing."

"You started it with the good doctor."

"Well, _you_ instigated that too."

"I don't like seeing friendships fall by the wayside or my officers being miserable."

Cartwright interrupted their argument as his office door opened, hands behind his back. "I see that everybody is here. Come in."

The four entered the spacious room and fanned out before Cartwright's deck. Immediately, Ali was stopped before taking her seat. Cartwright asked an aide to take her someplace where she could do her homework quietly, out of earshot. Ali was indignant, pouting as the officer escorted her to another room off to the left.

The heavy door shut behind them just as Ali began a conversation to her captor about politics. Alyssa rolled her eyes, seating herself in front of Cartwright's desk with Ryder to her right and Kirk to the left. When the admiral seated himself, it was a seriousness that the security officer had not seen in him before. Alyssa knew they were in trouble, the way Cartwright cast his knowing eyes on them. He was searching for something and they were his key.

Cartwright folded his hands, tapping his brown fingers together in a frustrated manner. "So, which one of you wants to talk first about Synprilox?"

~00~

 _That night was quiet. When the guards switched shifts around two in the morning, Alyssa slipped out of her bedroom and remained still in her doorway, wrapping herself in a shawl to keep the cold at bay. She eyed the pair whispering to each other, gossiping about Kirk. They were annoyed, she heard, and rightfully so. The admiral was disobeying security procedures on an insecure planet and gallivanting with a woman rumored to be a traitor._

Little do they know.

 _She waited until they had gone to their intended positions. Once they were out of her way, she proceeded to Kirk's bedroom. She poised her knuckles to knock and then stopped herself. She felt old fashioned. Instead she pressed the button to request entry. The admiral responded quickly and allowed her in._

 _Kirk hadn't been sleeping, settled on the bed. He smiled at her, questioning silently with his eyes why she came. Alyssa offered no explanation readily. She herself had allowed herself the luxury of examining herself. Honestly, she was curious about how he felt and if her feelings were real. Sure, it was easy to fall for the charms of an admiral, especially one like Kirk. However, it also tramped heavily upon what she held dearly._

 _She was a widow, one that vowed to keep her husband's memory alive. She had been teased by too many people for it, but none understood the depth of her pain. Kirk had been one of them, she knew. He was there when Kurt was killed, helped her to bury him when she told him not to. Kirk was kind and empathetic. She understood that she required some space._

 _And now, Alyssa found that there was no way for her to deny this anymore. She paced her room before this moment, unable to sort out her conflict. This wasn't just a fling, she concluded. She was carried away the first time and the two of them admitted that they would need time away. This round, it was so real that they could taste it. She had to confront that._

 _Kirk stood up and held his arms for an embrace. Alyssa returned it, curling right into his shoulder. She felt so comfortable and secure there, melting right into the soft fabric of his shirt. When she looked up into his brown eyes, she saw that he was deciding what was best to do. He too could give into his feelings or forever keep them locked inside._

" _How trustworthy is Magda?" Kirk asked. He wasn't so sure about the protective nursemaid and found her quite annoying._

" _Plenty," Alyssa responded without hesitation. "She won't tell a soul anything."_

" _Does she suspect anything?"_

" _She's not stupid. She already admitted it."_

" _Where did she come from?"_

" _The chancellor recommended Magda to me. She knew I needed someone for babysitting, teaching and housekeeping. Magda has no family anymore."_

 _Alyssa did not want to add that Magda had disassociated herself from her family years before, after her son was born. When her brother managed to gain custody of her child, Magda was left with nothing. She was not married and her son's father had left her. Little career choices were left to her. She began keeping house and children. By the time Alyssa was offered Magda's services by Amelia Synprilox, Magda had successfully raised several children._

" _She is yours completely?" Kirk was not convinced._

" _Absolutely," Alyssa repeated._

 _The admiral was still wary. He wasn't too open about his affairs and never confined in anyone about them. Magda was the only one who managed…and Kirk did not like that she held that power. Worse, there was a world out there that hated him. What did Magda have to lose by giving away his vulnerabilities?_

 _Kirk sought to forget the more dire implications and tried relaxing. In no time, they sat down and were chatting again. For the time being, they talked about the years they had missed. They drew closer and closer, eventually lying down on his bed. After about an hour, Alyssa drifted off to sleep. Kirk continued to hold her, watching the darkness change to a reflective green. By the time the sun had fully risen, he heard little footsteps in the hallway and a plea to be picked up and carried._

 _Magda was also awake. She was yelling at Ryder to watch where he was going and to keep away from the Starfleet officers. She chased him downstairs. Below, Kirk could hear the typical routine sounds of a kitchen being brought to life and a child begging for and entertaining day. When the smells of breakfast drifted to his room, Alyssa stirred._

" _Did Magda call?" she asked._

" _Not yet," Kirk affirmed, shifting his body. He felt stuff. "Can you leave without anyone seeing you?"_

" _Are your puppy dogs out of the way?"_

 _Kirk managed to detangle himself and walk out to the hallway. Alyssa hid underneath the blanket, listening to the admiral while he redirected his guards. The two argued with Kirk, stating regulations and orders, but they were easily countered. In seconds, they had vanished downstairs._

 _The admiral returned with a smile. "All clear."_

 _Alyssa was grateful. Wrapping herself back in the shawl to set out, she passed Kirk. Quickly, she daringly kissed him on the lips. Then, out of habit, she glanced left and right before leaving. She waved goodbye and blew another kiss. She stopped and turned around only when Kirk called out to her._

" _I love you," he declared bravely._

 _The security officer gave him a goofy grin, shuffling her feet awkwardly. "I know, Jim," she said in the same tender tone. "I know."_


	19. The Stakes are Higher

All present did not answer Cartwright, scared about being caught in their secretive dealings. Ryder, the lowest ranking member of the group, volunteered himself to keep the limelight off of the other two. Cartwright did not want his opinion yet. He held a hand up to silence the junior officer, glancing at Kirk and Alyssa for further elaboration. The former took the lead instead.

"As you are aware, Admiral, I initially landed on Synprilox several years ago, intent on persuading them to joining the Federation and to seek protection," Kirk began. "Previously, it was reported as a mythological planet until explorers deemed it otherwise. Admiral Uriah and his crew on the _Endurance_ discovered it. Reports until my mission have varied and been manipulated."

"I am not talking about that, Jim," Cartwright countered. "I need the information that Admiral Ciana recorded. She kept records about Synprilox."

"What information?" Alyssa asked. Nobody could tell if she was truly ignorant or played it well.

Cartwright was not convinced either way. "Captain, I am aware that Admiral Ciana used you as an agent regarding the dynamics of Synprilox. She also had you spying on the chancellor."

"Hopefully, she has found the peace she never had living," she replied reverently. Alyssa made no mention of the revelation.

"Enough of the religious sympathy, Captain. What happened on Synprilox and how did Thyria come into play?"

"I am not sure, Sir. I am aware that Thyria is here for peace and –"

Don't play stupid with me, Captain Elma. Lieutenant!"

Ryder immediately came to attention. "Admiral?"

"What do you know about Synprilox?" Cartwright barked.

"Not a lot, Sir," Ryder recounted. "I was young when I left the planet. Four years ago or so, I was accepted at the Academy. Recent events were hardly told to me. I do recall my mother and Magda being protective of me. I had to follow certain rules."

"What kind of rules?" the admiral inquired.

"My whereabouts were always noted. My mother had a system in the house that would detect my location inside and outside. When I was not indoors, this sensor would locate me within a five-mile radius. I also learned how to drive several types of vehicles in case of an emergency. The one my mother owned also had a GPS that kept track of where I was, so I couldn't sneak out driving anytime I wanted to."

"Anything that merited trips to see the chancellor? Did your mother take you to any meetings while you were schooled there?"

"Most of the time, my mother went to the palace alone. Even on medical leave, she was always working with Chancellor Synprilox. Occasionally, when the chancellor asked, I met up with her. There was nothing special about the trips though. She helped me with my schoolwork and lectured me on a few topics."

"On what subjects did Chancellor Synprilox talk about?"

"Well, she had a knack for going on and on about something and getting carried away, Sir."

"Which _ones_ , Lieutenant?"

"Oh, mathematics and sciences usually. She liked Earth a lot and always had an opinion on plants and animals."

Kirk was getting bored with the charade. "Where is this going, Lance? This can't be about a boy's studies."

"No, but the mysteries have yet to be solved," Cartwright replied. He was obviously furious that Kirk dared to interject, using nonverbal language to get his point across. "Anybody who was a witness to the massacres conducted on Synprilox contributes to the investigation the Federation is now conducting."

"What investigation?" Alyssa's voice came out like an insulted squeak. "I was not informed there was one, Admiral."

"It seems that the Thyrians have caught our attention." The admiral also eyed Alyssa with contempt with her outburst. "We have reason to believe that they are responsible for Synprilox's destruction a year ago. As of this evening, the Federation, along with the Thyrians' claims, are being checked into."

Kirk wanted to admit everything to Cartwright right then and there. He only have to show Lori's storage device. He would have had it played, showing Cartwright that yes, Lori was involved heavily in Synprilox and documented everything – what was done and said and why. He could have confessed that the prisoner the Thyrians wanted was none other than a half breed, a grandson of their so-called escaped prisoner, and that he and Alyssa wanted nothing more than to protect him. They had reason to believe that the Thyrians meant harm…

But the way Cartwright was conducting himself made Kirk hold his tongue. He didn't trust the admiral. He had been warned several times over the years that, while Cartwright was effective and competent, suspicious activity always surrounded him. While there was no proof and he was innocent until proven guilty, Kirk will always remain wary. Oh, Cartwright was easy to work with him and it was a joy not give up specific details. Kirk wanted to keep it that way until the time was right.

"In what way are the Thyrians the blamed party?" Alyssa feigned curiosity. She played with the folds of her red skirt to keep distracted. "Have they used anything that would deter the Federation from friendship and protection?"

Cartwright glared at her. "I believe you know firsthand, Captain, what kind of weapons they use."

"We cannot say that for sure, Admiral. The Thyrians might not be the guilty ones here too. Look, all I can tell you concerning the chemical warfare is that someone was aiming a dangerous beam across Synprilox, causing damage and illness. That weapon of mass destruction also managed to eliminate Synprilox and kill thousands of its people."

"So, you know something!"

"Not exactly, Sir. I am aware that this weapon you are seeking information on is radiation based and that I, amongst several hundreds more, are afflicted with a disease with no known cure. I am curious to know why you seem to believe that this has any link with the Thyrians."

"Don't use your logic against me, Captain. You must have an idea. As a security officer, is it your duty to investigate into these matters."

"I can tell you many things, Sir. I can tell you what Admiral Ciana asked of me – that is no secret and on my public record. I'll admit that we were not on the best of terms. I can also tell you about the Synprilox refugees we've moved to Kepler III that are thriving on a community filled with dying people. I can most certainly elaborate about the last days of the planet, when their life support cracked and began to flood towns and drown thousands more."

Alyssa stared at Cartwright with the most haunted eyes Kirk had ever seen. They told him without words what she faced – the fear, desperation and panic. It also showed how traumatic it was for even Alyssa, who had dealt with tough hands since she was born. Kirk was certain that she had not just experienced a planet's complete extinction, but also heard the cries of death as she was rescued. To also have the responsibility of that survivor's guilt was a heavy burden on her shoulders.

Cartwright was not convinced, thinking it theatrics. "Captain, I can hardly call that evidence. Witness statements never stood alone."

She continued anyway, ignoring the condemnation. "Admiral, if you had any respect for the dying and dead, I beseech of you to conduct your investigation carefully. Just as I did, you will find that some stones don't need to be turned. They need to be buried." Alyssa stood up. "If there was anything else I can contribute to your search, I will let you know. However, I think this concludes our meeting. If the Federation requires my supposedly false testimony, I will be more than happy to comply…and not have some secret office gathering with you."

The jab was intentional, Kirk knew. However, Alyssa had a point. An official meeting would have been called for and conducted if the Federation would have wanted their input. An admiral didn't exactly have authority unless assigned to it by the council. And this made Kirk suspicious. He would have been informed of any changes. Cartwright had no authority over him…and was obviously hiding something and phishing for information.

Kirk made the easy decision to show his displeasure as well. He stood with the security officer when she called for the aide to bring Ali to her and caught Cartwright's eye in a warning glance. Cartwright was not pleased and said nothing in return, continuously tapping his brown fingers as they prepared to leave him. The four soon left his office as soon as respectful farewell pleasantries had been played out.

Kirk decided to join the family and make sure they got home safely. When they left the building, Riley caught up to them. The aide lived near Kirk and usually followed him in the same direction. This time, he was panicking, albeit keeping his cool until they were someplace private. Alyssa and her children noted his presence and accepted the company.

In the meantime, everybody walked silently and talked of trivial things until they were out of sight and hearing of anyone of importance. By then, Alyssa swung their direction into a restaurant and ordered a table for five. She knew a bombshell when she saw one. Riley wasn't good at keeping secrets.

Everyone settled down and continued their conversations. By the time appetizers and drinks were served, Alyssa felt that it was safe to discuss Riley's problem. She had scanned the area quickly and found Starfleet personnel of little consequence. Indeed, they were only cadets on their first outing since the term ended. They were too intoxicated to care about a small party in a dark corner.

Alyssa nudged Riley on her left. "What's going on?"

Riley looked first at Kirk for permission to speak. When the admiral nodded consent, the aide talked. "I was called to the Thyrian quarters for some errands and overheard their discussions on my way out. In short, they are planning an attack on Earth and attempting to capture their prisoner by force."

"We should alert the Federation immediately," Kirk said.

"I did," Riley protested. "They did not take it seriously since they themselves are managing their own inquiry. Any evidence presented will be considered."

"What do you mean, they didn't take it seriously?" Alyssa was incredulous.

"Admiral Nogura brought it to the proper authorities and it went right back to Admiral Cartwright, who should have given it to you. He didn't think it was worth the check since the Thyrians proved they came in peace."

"The Old Man must have been irritated."

"Rightfully so, Captain, but there's nothing Admiral Nogura can do after he's done his bit. That is not his sector. He can file a complaint to the head above Admiral Cartwright."

"And he's not in, right?"

"On vacation," Kirk confirmed. "Starbase 67, the pleasure station, to be more precise."

"What can we do?" Riley asked.

"Notify all docks," Alyssa decided. "The Thyrian ships cannot leave port. There must be a lockdown of all planets, from here to the end of the Milky Way at least, and all of them have to be on high alert. I can take care of that."

"You might be stepping on Admiral Cartwright's toes," Riley warned.

"And I am head of Starfleet security," Alyssa argued. "Nobody should gainsay me." She turned to her children next. "Ryder, you need to take your sister home and pack a bag each. Stay there. Keep all doors locked and stay away from the windows. Do no leave until instructed Admiral Kirk, Commander Riley or myself. I assume that you have no duties until your captain calls you in."

"Right." Ryder nodded.

"I can take them," Riley volunteered before Ali voiced her opinion. "It might be safer in my apartment. Would that work?"

"Yes," Alyssa and Kirk said simultaneously.

Riley blinked, surprised for the moment. He was unsure of who to address, opting finally for Alyssa. "Yes, Sir."

A waitress came with their food. All talk about the Thyrians, planet safety and lodging ceased. They ate in silence mostly, with an inane word or two thrown in. By the time the meal ended, Riley was tired. He already had to put an end to an argument between the siblings and did not look forward to preventing more. Regardless, he promised to take care of them. He took Alyssa's address and that of where Ryder was staying temporarily and left.

Alyssa allowed her credit account to be debited for the food. While she waited for the transaction to be completed, she alerted her teams via texting out a coded message. Kirk stood next to her as the two tasks were finalized. He thought of a million things he could say to her, but none of them more important than the threat they faced. It wasn't fair to think back to the twilight of the relationship, but that too passed through his mind.

He imaged his visit to Synprilox and all of the days they spent together, most of them at night in bed. Even though they had been idyll and without responsibility, they vanished with a blink of an eye. All of them would be for nothing if they didn't do something about the Thyrians. Kirk knew that Riley was flighty and impulsive, but he wasn't a liar. The story was no joke.

When the waitress stated that the account had been verified, Kirk took Alyssa by the arm outside. "San Diego?" he suggested.

Alyssa smiled, returning the gesture. "I thought you'd never ask."

~00~

 _Everyday was like the dawn – undrawn, exciting and exotic – and the days were tranquil. The two officers began to learn something new about each other or explore a territory previously uncharted. While they were timid at first, they soon learned to trust each other and yearn for their time together. But gossip was always rife and they had to learn discretion. It wasn't in their best interests for their careers. Thus their meeting places always changed. At night, they settled into one of the bedrooms or someplace around Alyssa's home where they could be alone and resumed their relationship._

 _Their day-to-day interactions were always watched and that was what made it worse. However, their actions turned heads the other way. Nobody detected that an affair was being conducted, although their eyes told each other a different story._

 _And it didn't matter how they spent their time. Much like the other Starfleet residences on Synprilox, Alyssa's home and yard was very private and secured and she knew everyone's activities. In addition, her neighbors were not nosy and did not look over her hedges. Even if they tried, it would be impossible. Kirk had not realized that the plants and trees extended not just to the front yard, but to the rear one as well. There, Alyssa had a tree house built for Ryder, which covered a great deal of their activities._

 _Kirk realized that this was a different type of relationship. He found it akin to being a starship captain. He was always exploring new words and alien creatures, but this was a totally bizarre experience and one that even he was enjoying. Alyssa was a mysterious and wonderful woman all at once. He started to see what her husband Kurt saw in her – the beauty behind her hazel eyes, the casual flip of her black and white hair and the quiet demeanor. It all made a man go insane._

 _On the other hand, it was difficult for Alyssa not to scream. She wanted to tell the world that she managed to put her hesitations behind her and that she was ready for love again. But she also glowed quietly because she allowed herself that luxury. With each day, she blossomed like a flower, unfolding each petal to reveal a new aspect of herself…and Kirk delighted in it. He felt so lightheaded that he could hardly contain himself._

 _Even her son saw the changes. Ryder was an intelligent, perceptive child. Seeing his mother happy for the first time in his life since his father's death was possibly the best that could have happened to him. He knew that Alyssa was attached to Kirk in many ways and warmed up the admiral little by little. He followed Kirk like a lost puppy and almost revered him. Each time Kirk saw the child, he was showing him something from behind his legs or asking for a story. He also led the admiral to his mother in the kitchen constantly. Alyssa was amused._

 _Magda was another story though_. _Ever since Kirk's arrival, she had been hostile and cold to the point of callousness. Her warnings about Synprilox notwithstanding, the woman was like a mother hen who was overly protective of her nest. Being near Alyssa and Ryder, especially these days, was enough to make her snap._

 _The admiral could not help but try to remain friendly with her, but it was frustrating to be rebuffed and ignored at best. Silent sparring and retaliation aside, he never raised the topic with Alyssa, hoping to remain friendly and positive with Magda for the sake of his visit. She was mostly a babysitter and teacher of sorts to Ryder and took responsibility of him when Alyssa was not around or ill. Alyssa trusted her too. If Kirk was to remain with her, he too had to put in that same faith._

 _But thinking of their budding relationship sometimes took a strange turn. Two weeks after that first night in his bedroom, Kirk found Alyssa in the obverse gardens. She was sitting on a lawn chair, sipping some herbal tea. She noticed the admiral approaching and smiled, putting her cup on a side table to her left. Her face lit up, melting away the worries._

" _How was your day, Jim?" she asked. The way she rolled his name off of her tongue was less awkward than a month ago. It was as natural to her as Ryder and Magda._

" _Fine, fine." The day was spent inspecting the mines and his knees were sore from the unusual amount of travel. Kirk sat in the opposite chair. "Busy day."_

" _I heard you were crawling underground," Alyssa observed. "I didn't think it was dignified for a high-ranking officer to get dirty with the rest of the menial work."_

 _Kirk knew that Alyssa was teasing him and took the bait. "No," he conceded, "but somebody had to do it."_

" _What did you find in your journey to the center?"_

" _Oh, rocks, miners…what you would call the boogey man…"_

 _Alyssa laughed. "No, no. The boogey man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris."_

" _What?" Kirk was utterly confused._

 _The security officer suddenly stopped laughing. Her face turned dark, with an embarrassed tinge. Of course, the admiral would not know about popular figures of the twentieth and twenty-first centuries. It was something of her past. Kurt used to tell her Chuck Norris jokes constantly. He told her that he had to learn one in basic training. It was a requirement before his graduation, he claimed. It was a statement that Alyssa always questioned since his eyes showed too much merriment._

" _Never mind," Alyssa said quickly. "It's just a reference from a long time ago."_

" _A very funny one, from what I understand," the admiral commented calmly. He was interested. "Care to explain more?"_

" _Not now." She picked at her pajama pants, fighting back tears. Thinking about her dead husband and his antics always hurt her. "Maybe another time. There is so much to explain about that joke."_

 _Kirk had to draw her back in. He was truly intrigued. "Is this…Chuck Norris, right? Is he a public figure from your time?"_

" _So to speak," Alyssa admitted. She could not help herself the way Kirk asked. "He was an actor who was the brunt of many jokes. He went along with them and used to crack a few on WoW every Monday."_

" _WoW?"_

" _World of Warcraft. It was a game."_

" _What kind of game?"_

" _There were several formats. The man one that I remember is on a computer…the old-fashioned ones anyway. A desktop or laptop mainly."_

 _The language was lost on Kirk. He understood computers, but not what types there were, especially from centuries before. "There is so much you can teach me."_

" _But that's obsolete," Alyssa protested. "Why do you need to know about things from an era that is gone?"_

" _Because it belonged to you," Kirk replied, taking her hand into his. "It was a part of your life. I want to learn all about you, Alyssa, even the bad."_

 _Kurt had been annoyed with the worst aspects of her life and sought to change it. He never liked the aftermath of rescuing her from her parents' home and constantly yelled at her tears. He never had patience and treated her like one of his men. For the first time, Alyssa saw this as a step. Kurt was right for her at the time she needed him. She will always love him, but their relationship would not have survived past leaving their home._

 _Kirk was the opposite. Even though he too had commanded many people, he treated her like an equal. This is what surprised Alyssa the most…and what she appreciated. She didn't know how to take it. However, she was already trying to keep it away from him, seeking instead to continue the conversation in a more normal manner._

" _I – I – I – well," she stuttered._

 _Kirk put her at ease, rubbing her hand with his thumb until she stopped. "These cultural references," he began when she shut up. "Can you explain some of them now?"_


	20. Powers of Persuasion

Kirk and Alyssa quickly returned to Headquarters to dress in civilian clothing and pack other necessary items. As they talked in Kirk's office, they planned out how they would confront Jason Lattimer and hide him. While any shuttle heading in and out of San Francisco would usually consist of people returning from a pub, nobody was going to catch two officers pretending to be a married couple and vacationing overnight in another city. The only impediment would be bringing their person of interest back to San Francisco without being conspicuous.

"We'd turn a few heads," Alyssa called out from the other side of the room. Separated by a screen as she changed, she added, "He's a humanoid and can fit in with the rest of the unusual races here. The only problem is that he's too close to the Thyrians. We have to keep him under lock and key."

The admiral conceded. "But how to persuade him to come with us?"

"Well, _you_ supposedly have the powers of persuasion. You do it."

"You're better at manipulation than I am. I'm ordering you to."

Alyssa peered around the corner without a top. "Oh, really now? We're playing this game?" She was smirking.

Kirk saw the tease. It wasn't just her words that got him laughing though. It was also her alluring posture and bare shoulders. Alyssa was so comfortable showing off to him that she didn't care that she was disrespectful to an admiral. For her, it was too easy to fall back into their old pattern.

Alyssa was in hysterics when there was no immediate comeback from Kirk. Her body shook with a ringing giggle, loud enough to get guards at the door with questions. Her arm covered the top of her chest in an effort to remain covered too. The admiral was in a similar state. He drew closer to their separator and reached for Alyssa in an attempt to quell their unrest. But when he noticed the dark spots on bare skin, his mood turned serious. He touched her arm gently.

She noticed the gesture and retracted behind the screen, the merriment gone. She sought privacy, feeling ashamed of herself. "The shuttle leaves in twenty minutes. The latest we could come back is noon tomorrow. It doesn't give us a lot of time."

"Can't we pick up a later ride?" Kirk asked jokingly. He put on his civilian shirt. "I'd like to spend some time with my wife."

Alyssa finished dressing and faced the admiral in denim jeans, a tank top and flannel shirt. "Well, _this_ wife doesn't want to spend all day in San Diego and miss out on her regular duties, even if she is suspended from most of them."

"Would that mean you're cooking tonight?"

Alyssa playfully punched him in the shoulder. "I'll think about it."

Afterward, they left the office, bantering back and forth quietly enough. Kirk found their surroundings a little more eerie than normal and took out his phaser. He eventually petered out the chatting to concentrate. While the quiet of the building was mostly due to the officers who sought to escape what was lacking in their lives without interruption, the usual noises of infidelity, long hours and solitude was no longer there. It was almost like the building had been vacated and it had become a ghost town.

Alyssa was thinking the same thing. She drew her service weapon and covered his back. Slowly, they proceeded to the exit, seeing and hearing nothing. When they were about ten yards from the door, Alyssa heard a familiar noise from the rear. She thought it was her imagination until it grew louder and near.

"Get down!" she yelled, throwing her body over the admiral's.

The security officer felt the sting on her arm just as they hit the floor. She bit her lip to prevent herself from crying out. She knew what it was. It rolled in her mind a new idea about their so-called new friends and the radiation poisoning that she and thousands of others suffered from. The Thyrians had been the enemy of Synprilox and had used all means possible to destroy the planet since the agreement with the Federation many years ago. They were after blood.

Paranoia settled in. This was no coincidence that the Thyrians came to Earth for an agreement and she was assigned as the security officer. Magda had already disappeared for no reason. Was Alyssa next? Were her children to be targets as well? And what about Kirk, who had been on that inspection tour twelve years ago? Would he be found out as the man who encouraged this friendship?

Despite the panic, both of them rolled over and stood up quickly, staring at the direction where the blast came from to see if their shooter would try a second time. Alyssa ran where the point was origin was, her service weapon poised in defense. All she saw were pieces of metal and some liquid on the floor, crushed and oozing. It would not be proof enough for Cartwright though. This was done on purpose.

"It was a warning," Alyssa said as Kirk caught up with her. "Somebody wanted us know that they were watching us."

"If they know we were in San Diego…" the admiral speculated.

"Then, they might be following us." Alyssa looked at Kirk sharply. "We've got ten minutes before the transport arrives. What do you want to do? We can risk it or find another way to reach Jason Lattimer."

Kirk thought for a moment. "Isn't there an organization that helps refugees or prosecuted people?"

"I don't know. I need to research that."

"I'm sure there is. But by having a trained group retrieve Jason Lattimer, we don't need to lead anybody to him."

"You're right. And it might be safer."

Finally, Kirk saw the burn on Alyssa's arm. "Are you all right?"

She hid the offending black mark behind her back, using this awkward movement to smoothly link her hands from the rear. "I will be."

"Do you need me to call McCoy?"

"There's isn't much he can do, Jim. Besides, we've got some work to do. Do you want to crash at my place or yours? Do some research?"

The admiral wasn't too familiar with the phrase. He wrinkled his forehead in confusion. "I will assume this is a way to ask me to spend the night at your apartment or mine."

"We'll be in one place. It's less conspicuous. Yours seems more ideal."

Kirk nodded in agreement. San Diego now seemed to be more dangerous than staying put and keeping their heads low. They can reevaluate their plan in the morning. The good news was that the Thyrians did not know where Jason Lattimer was located exactly. The bad news is that they were aware that they were being investigated.

Their decision was made. Kirk took out his communicator and talked with Riley. He ordered Ryder and Ali back to his apartment. His aide did not complain. Riley acknowledged the command, but seemed more than tired. Kirk heard some puerile arguing in the background.

Then, he and Alyssa returned to his office to pick up their things. Kirk noticed some changes with his companion though. Alyssa was getting slower and was oftentimes dazed, bumping into random piece of furniture and once, the wall. She continued to hide the burn on her arm and grimaced each time she used it. Even lifting her bag was a chore for her.

Kirk kept offering to help her, but Alyssa brushed it off. He recognized this as her way to be independent and not rely on anyone, a trait she retained since her husband's death years before. It annoyed him. He bit his tongue. He'll call McCoy, all right, when she was sleeping. That should do the trick.

This time around, the usual noises from the other offices echoed around them. Kirk thought this stranger yet when before there was none. Shrugging his shoulders, he and Alyssa exited the building without incident. They signed out at the door and were walking towards another transport, chatting as they normally did, before Alyssa suddenly gasped and stopped midsentence.

And that was when the security officer collapsed.

~00~

 _It had gotten the point where Kirk could hardly wait to get back to Alyssa and relax and it took all his power to not show it. The end of the day could mean music and dancing with her, mostly to songs that she grew up with or learned from her aunt. There was also good food and company (even if Magda was cold and distant). Alyssa also played with Ryder and that was fun to watch. Kirk occasionally joined in, chasing the five-year-old around the backyard until they was tired, but always kept his distance._

 _Lori's admissions had gone unheeded. Kirk was a little bias though. He always had been when it came to Alyssa, especially these days. The security guard had admitted that she had been working with Lori concerning Synprilox and the delicate situation between them and the Federation. That merited much more than being under a microscope._

No. It couldn't be. She's not a double agent.

 _About two months after his arrival, the admiral randomly thought this. One night, as Kirk sat in the backyard with Alyssa and Ryder, he dismissed the reflection once more. He focused on the boy instead, hoping to keep his mind on something else other than politics. He was pretending to be an explorer of an uncharted world, imagining his tree house to be another planet. He was so young and naïve, much as Kirk was when he commanded the_ Enterprise _initially._

 _Ryder climbed the wooden rugs, yelling about his captain's log and the lack of damage and life so far on the planet. He also talked about going where no man had gone before and hoping to connect with a new life form. Kirk chuckled. He believed Ryder had potential to become a wonderful Starfleet officer if he continued to stand by those beliefs. He would have blamed Kurt Hemmingway for it, but disregarded that theory. Kurt had been killed long before the situation at Synprilox began._

 _Alyssa was thinking the same thing. "He's almost like his father."_

" _How?" Kirk wondered. Some physical appearances aside, the boy was almost a replica of his mother._

" _Kurt was in the Air Force, a pilot," Alyssa replied quietly. "He wasn't exploring strange new worlds, but he flew into countries he never saw and – well, you know –"_

 _The admiral took her hand. "I wouldn't worry about it right now. Ryder doesn't need to know about Kurt."_

" _What will I tell him when he asks? He will want to know."_

" _When the time is right, I think you'll have the words. One day at a time, Alyssa. One problem at a time."_

 _Alyssa nodded evenly. The insecurity eased from her face. "What did you do today? Anything undignified?"_

 _This was slowly becoming a joke between them. Kirk had to hide his smile when he heard footsteps from outside their cover. "Well, the chancellor introduced me to some farmers."_

" _Oh? Were they individual homes?"_

" _No. They were on collection farms, I think the chancellor named them."_

" _Those." Alyssa's face flushed red in horror. "It is something I disagree with. It's a sort of slavery to the land. The counsel and chancellor place a family wherever they want to and demand a certain yield each season. This is to help feed a world, mind you. They are punished if the required amount is not met."_

" _This was briefly mentioned. I was not aware it was this harsh. What kind of punishments are we talking about?"_

" _Well, there's the favorite, which is imprisonment. There are fines, loss of home and separation of families. There has been worse. You've seen it. Synprilox is a planet that requires everyone to work together for the betterment of everyone. They must pull their fair share or face the consequences."_

" _It is communal like many planets then."_

 _The security guard grimaced. "Very much so, I am afraid. It's similar to governments that adapted a socialist system and corrupt it."_

" _That type of policy has been abolished decades ago!"_

" _Then, I would bring it up to the Federation, Admiral. It's something you can put in your report."_

 _Kirk did not like that Alyssa returned to formalities and frowned. When Ryder wasn't looking, he squeezed her hand tighter, to remind her that they were alone and not likely to be overheard except by a child. Something else was on her mind though. It wasn't the inner workings of Synprilox this night. No, her last comment was more distant than most._

 _And this too brought Kirk back to reality. Now, he had to wonder what he was going to do after this tenure. Of course, he'd eventually return to his desk job lightyears away. Then, Lori would also take up most of his time, demanding this and that. Alyssa would be a dream, left behind on a planet that would continue its chaotic chain of events. He already saw that, planets away, their relationship was going to crumble._

 _The security officer glanced over, raising an eyebrow. "Penny for your thoughts?"_

 _Kirk almost missed the comment. "Huh?"_

" _Are you ok?"_

" _I was going to say, pennies have been obsolete."_

 _Alyssa chuckled. "I'm aware. But you're working something out in your head. What is it?"_

 _Kirk didn't want to upset her. He shrugged his shoulders. "Don't worry about it."_

" _Jim." Alyssa sounded as stern with him as she was with Ryder. "You want me to open up to you. You need to do the same with me. I understand that this might be something that will take time. Never tell me to stop worrying. I never will."_

 _For a moment, Kirk hesitated. He initially did not want to trouble Alyssa, but the issue had been pushed enough that he had to say something. "Leaving here," he admitted. He felt pretty foolish mentioning it._

" _Oh." Alyssa sounded sad about the topic too. "I understand you'll be busy elsewhere once you leave. I won't hold you back."_

" _What about you? Your career?"_

" _Your life is wherever Starfleet assigns you. My life is here. The ideal solution to a unique problem is keeping me stationary. Starfleet and the Federation feel that my presence on Synprilox is a benefit. If I remain here, the chancellor and her counsel are more willing to work with them."_

" _That will explain more of your exile. I did not know you were a liaison."_

" _In a manner, yes, I am. I've expressed to Starfleet my desire to return to Earth or to be transferred to a starship. They have denied my request so far."_

 _Kirk felt a cold shudder run down his spine. He ignored it. "There are always positions for security officer on Earth. Come with me. What makes your request so different from anyone else's?"_

 _The answer was pretty obvious and Kirk felt more childish in asking her to leave. Starfleet wanted to hide their mistakes. Alyssa had been one of them. The suggestion for her to be stationed at Synprilox had been convenient and she was out of the way. To bring her back to Earth would be an act of favoritism and to remind Starfleet of their lapse in controlling corruption._

" _I'm sure they'll be times when we can visit," Alyssa said. She did not mention going with Kirk and it embarrassed her. "It…won't be the same as it is now."_

She realized it too. It's not fair!

 _The overwhelming emotion washed over Kirk. To know that Alyssa was feeling the same pain was a comfort and a soreness he could not erase. He pulled her closer to him and held her. She didn't say a word, but she didn't need to anyway. It was plain on her face that she was hurting and grasping at every happy moment she received._

 _Alyssa was madly in love…and detested the departure in a few months._


	21. Lost and Found

McCoy made sure that Alyssa was resting comfortably before leaving her where Kirk deposited her. He thought that she had a lucky break this time. She was awake and aware of her surroundings, but declining fast. While it wasn't too smart to keep her away from Sickbay, it was best that she was with people close to her in a normal environment. Medication was no longer helping her. End of life care was close at hand.

Alyssa agreed with the doctor quietly. She opted to remain on the balcony of Kirk's apartment, where the admiral had called McCoy. She lounged on a chair, her feet elevated on an ottoman as she looked up at the night stars. The obvious topic remained taboo to the pair. For now, death was not something they needed to face as friends.

McCoy left her to her devices and went back inside, discouraged by her state and the slow end of their friendship. There, Kirk had been drinking at the fireplace when he noted the doctor's reentry. McCoy noted his pessimism and decided that it was not wise to play with Kirk's emotions. Not this time. It was to press salt into an old wound.

He joined the admiral instead, sitting in the opposite seat. "When will she learn?" he joked.

"Not until she's dead." Kirk took another sip of his drink. He believed the question dumb. "Can you tell me more about this radiation?"

"There's isn't much," McCoy admitted. He was tired of this topic too. "I told you what I knew years ago. I can say that there's millions more on Kelper III that have it worse than Alyssa does."

"I thought you studied it years ago?"

"Jim, I _did_ , after Ali was born. This radiation is unlike anything anyone has ever heard of, medically speaking. First off, it's a slow, painful death. Any known treatments are not attacking the core problem. Normal radiation will be like the common cold and gradually worsen. Hair falling out, fatigue, vomiting…all that good stuff."

"But this began years ago. None of the victims showed any of those symptoms."

"That's because you haven't seen most of them at that stage yet. Most don't even have those signs. Some fall into the same patterns Alyssa has. That's the second mystery about this radiation. The end results are the same, but each person reacts differently and none of it humane. This is the work of barbarians, Jim."

Kirk nodded. He's heard this argument before. "What is the point of Thyria using this poison though? I understand why they would be angry with Synprilox. Attacking on Earth doesn't make sense unless they had specific targets."

"Well, do you remember when Synprilox joined the Federation?"

Kirk had to remember it for a moment, muddled with so much confliction. "We were the ones from Earth that brokered this deal after managing to quell _their_ civil war. Nobody else on the _Enterprise_ was privy to the details unless someone recalled a few being prisoners." He paused, wanting to change the discussion back to its origins. "Did you determine where the material to the radiation came from?"

McCoy snorted. "If I did, I'd have the cure by now. There's no way to isolate a sample. It moves too fast in the blood stream."

"What are we facing now?" The admiral pointed his head at Alyssa outside.

"Alyssa has reached an advanced stage in the disease," McCoy admitted quiet. He didn't want to tell Kirk the truth, but he owed the admiral that. "On Kepler III, there are patients who have lived as long as she has and that's because their exposure wasn't as extensive. Because Alyssa has been in the center of the action, Jim, she risked her own life. This is the result of it."

"She's closer to dying than the others, you mean."

"Jim, I said that each person reacts differently. I think Alyssa's stubbornness contributed to her living so long. But if she's where I think she is, then she's facing worse than the psychosis. She'll be delirious and have episodes where she'll think she's somewhere else, maybe a time where she was happy or there was trauma. She'll be irrational. You can't hold her here for long. She'll need to come back with me to Sickbay."

"It will be more mental than physical, you mean?"

"Not quite, Jim. This is just the beginning of the ending. You've seen the skin marks. Soon, her hair will fall out in chumps. Her core body temperature, which is dropping, will drive her to a coma. Only life support separates her…"

McCoy trailed. This wasn't just upsetting him, but Kirk as well. The truth was harder to bear than anything else. When it concerned Alyssa, they both had a soft spot for her. McCoy recalled her arrival on the ship and their friendship over the years. It sometimes was akin to a father/daughter relationship. Gods knew that Alyssa was as young and pigheaded as his ex-wife Joanna was years ago.

And then, there was Kirk and his charms. McCoy warned him to stay away, even before her transfer to Synprilox. He supposedly acted the gentleman when they initially went out on their own and learned about the upsetting corruption within Starfleet. Afterward was another story and one that he was forced to witness the aftermath of. It was an ending McCoy never wished though, admonition aside.

What Kirk was feeling right now was beyond McCoy's comprehension. The admiral had lost women before, mostly due to a bitter separation or, in recent history with Antonia, a decision to rejoin a career that he could not walk away from. He had never loved a woman and she was dying before his eyes. His glance over to the balcony was enough to tell McCoy that the feelings remained. This was no twilight romance.

McCoy almost lost it, swimming in his own misery. He reached for a drink and copied Kirk for a while, chatting about other issues within Starfleet until the clock struck midnight. By then, he excused himself to go home. Before departing, McCoy mentioned a few instructions for Alyssa.

The admiral dismissed everything McCoy said. Instead, he looked at his former flame and sighed, thinking. If she was incapable of taking care of Ryder and Ali and Magda could not return, he might have to do. He dismissed the thought and sought another way to escape. He saw Alyssa was distracted for the moment. Believing that she was fine alone for a few minutes, he moved to check on things next door with Riley.

The aide was awake and mildly surprised to see his superior. He reported that all was well and that the children were asleep. Ryder was slumped over a couch in Riley's living room. Ali had taken over a smaller sofa, posed in a sitting position and curled against a chair pillow. Both were coverless and shivering in the evening cold.

Riley noticed this too. He went to a closet and pulled out some blankets, all the while talking of retiring himself and muttering about mutinous siblings and his food supplies. While pulling off Ryder's boots, he draped coverlet over the junior officer. He absentmindedly handed the admiral another to put over Ali.

It was supposed to be an easy task. Kirk spread the cover over the small body and tucked in the loose corners. Touching Ali brought him someplace he didn't think existed though. It was a deep attachment, a tugging at his heart for the loss he and Alyssa had to sustain because of their decision to keep separated. He regretted it deeper than before. He was bitter that they could not have normal lives.

 _My daughter…_

The two words alone almost brought him to his knees with grief and relief all at once. Kirk did not want to acknowledge that he missed so many years of this girl's life and also admitted that he was a father. He had to walk away and shake that feeling before it consumed him, worse than having to watch Alyssa die. Most certainly, he had to consult with Alyssa about it. Ali was coming to the point where she must have the truth. He could not hide it anymore.

Quickly finishing up and thanking Riley for his help, he returned to his apartment. When Kirk arrived, he saw that Alyssa had moved from balcony to the fireplace. She sat where McCoy had been, staring into the flames in an effort to be distracted from the current situation just he was did. Kirk came up from behind her and tapped her shoulder gently to avoid being swung at. Alyssa jerked up, but soon relaxed when she saw the admiral. He sat down next to her.

"Aren't you supposed to be resting?" Kirk asked jokingly.

Alyssa grimaced. "Don't treat me like an invalid, Jim. I can still take care of myself."

Kirk did not want to mention the illness directly. Instead, he focused on Ali. He had to get her off of his mind. "I think we both need to talk to Ali."

"Oh? About what?"

"Well, _us_. She's inquisitive enough to find out herself. I think we should prevent that from happening. Ali should hear the truth from us."

Alyssa understood completely and agreed. "In the morning, I think. Ryder is supposed to return to his ship and come back in the evening. We can take advantage of his absence and sit Ali down." She paused. "But there's something I have to give you too."

The way the security officer talked of this future discussion made Kirk wary. It was matter-of-factly, a moment she knew had to come about. It honestly made his skin crawl. It was with dread and necessity that they reveal this secret to a child more intelligent than her own good. That was a problem. This could be used against Ali and that filled Kirk with fear.

What bothered him worse was that Alyssa had plans of her own. All of those years and she still could not take from people. She had to give of herself, sacrifices made of not just a mother, but an officer and a gentleman. Kirk had to wonder why she would say this out of the blue and what she had to offer. When she fished through her pockets for something, he was careful to hide his surprise. Finally, she pulled out an old-fashioned key and put it in his hands.

"In my apartment bedroom, there's an old cedar box," Alyssa explained. "If something happened to me, find it, no matter what. Do not show anybody until the time is right. Promise me that."

The way the security officer begged made Kirk agree immediately. "What's in there?"

"Things I hope you don't have to see and hear again," she answered. Alyssa changed the topic. "Now, does your computer play any music?"

"Of course. Why?"

"I have another song I'd like you to listen to."

Kirk chuckled. He knew that Alyssa always had a song to play and most of them from the twentieth or twenty-first centuries. One she ordered the computer the tune, he put his drink down and offered a dance. She obliged and leaned into him. She was slow with her movements, but she kept up.

 _Once the world was new.  
Our bodies felt the morning few  
That greets the brand new day.  
We couldn't tear ourselves away.  
I wonder if you care.  
I wonder if you still remember.  
Once upon a time,  
In your wildest dreams…_

 _When the music plays,  
When the words are  
Touch with sorrow…  
When the music plays,  
I hear the sound I had to follow.  
Once upon a time…_

Just before the song ended, Alyssa grew tired and started losing her grip. Immediately, Kirk picked her up and carried her back to her seat with vigorous protests. He shushed her concerns with a kiss and sat down himself. They allowed the instrumental ending to fade out before facing each other. And then, everything from the last few days hit Kirk in the face.

It wasn't just seeing Alyssa become weaker in his arms or admitting that Ali was his daughter. Something else was bothering him. This conversation that dealt with death and the children was heavy, a burden he felt he was unworthy of shouldering. He was an absent father by mutual choice and now was thrust the role he was unfamiliar with. When Alyssa died, Ali and Ryder would have nobody left to care for them. Kirk was their only hope.

"Penny for your thoughts," Alyssa finally said after some silence. When Kirk did not answer, she touched his arm gently. "What are you thinking, Jim? Please tell me."

The admiral hesitated in telling her. After pouring himself another drink and downing more than half of it in one shot, he replied. "I'm afraid. I trust that we're doing the right thing for Ali and Ryder."

~00~

 _They had decided to spend the night in Alyssa's bedroom. It had taken Kirk some time to get there. Once he arrived though, he found a comforting welcome, with candles lit and Alyssa naked underneath a bathrobe. She locked the door behind them and they began to strip their remaining clothes slowly, exploring each other in a new way. Then, Kirk kissed her hard on the lips. He picked her up and carried her to the soft bed. He also blew out the candles, pinning her down in the darkness._

 _After some hours of bantering, they decided to sleep. It would have been a normal rest of the night had Alyssa had not woken Kirk up almost every hour, tossing and turning constantly. She fell asleep, but kept mumbling about escaping while "they had the time". Other instances, she whimpered or asked if it was safe to come out in a terrified tone. Towards dawn, she gripped her pillow so tightly that the admiral thought it was going to explode at the seams._

 _She woke up eventually, but did not get out of bed or release the headrest. Even when the pots and pans were banged together in an effort by Magda to rouse them from their slumbers, Alyssa ignored it. She rolled over and laid on her right side, staring out the window as the green sun rose and cast its rays through the curtains. She enjoyed herself on their initial mating. This mood seemed to be the opposite._

 _Kirk embraced her from behind. Alyssa tried pushing him away, but the admiral was stronger and soothed her with gentle ministrations. Even shushing her only managed to create more agitation. It wasn't about the sex. It was something else._

" _What's wrong?" Kirk didn't mean to pry. He was growing tired of the silence._

" _A nightmare," Alyssa replied quietly, honestly. "It was long before I met you."_

" _Do you want to tell me about it?"_

" _I remember bits and pieces of it. Ryder was just born. Kurt and I…we had just lost some of our closest friends. We saw them shot down like common criminals. They were killed in the rioting by police forces. After that, we had no choice. We had to leave our home and drive north."_

 _That had explained most of Alyssa's agitated sleep. Kirk did not press the matter. He moved some hair from her face, tucking the strands behind her ear gently. He morphed the action into brushing her hair with his fingers, dangling the loose ends in a pile next to him. Alyssa appreciated the gesture, but was more anxious and fidgety. Eager to start her day, she reached for her hairbrush on her nightstand and handed it to the admiral._

 _For a moment, Kirk did not know what to do with it. He stared at the item. "Not doing it right?" he joked._

" _In order to complete a task correctly, Admiral, you require the right tools. It's regulations" Alyssa broke free and sat up. "Besides, I don't need my hair on the bed."_

 _Kirk took the hint. Sitting up too, he attempted the tame the black and white hair. With Alyssa moving so much, it was near to impossible. Impatient, he gave the brush back to the security officer and began dressing. Before leaving, he returned to Alyssa and kissed her one more time. She returned it eagerly, oddly clinging to him for a moment longer than she normally did._

" _Tonight," Kirk said. He planted one more kiss on her forehead. "I promise."_

 _His own guards would be looking for him soon. He had an appointment with the chancellor and the Freedom Riders within the hour. He did not want to be late. When he checked on Alyssa one last time, she remained stationary and unwilling for another kiss. The only movement was her cradling the hairbrush between her whitening digits._

 _There wasn't much else Kirk could do to placate her. He had no intention of breaking her from the trance. He had already seen how dangerous Alyssa was when she was left unguarded and distracted. He only had to recall a few weeks ago. One of his guards was almost flipped over her shoulder had Kirk not intervened in time._

 _It was a symptom of Synprilox, he reasoned, and one he was willing to find a cure for. It wasn't Alyssa's past that made her this cautious (although there were times when it bothered her too). It was a disease, a condition planted by a planet that challenged her daily. This morning was just the result of the burden placed on her shoulders compounded by a nightmare, nothing more._

 _Kirk decided to skip breakfast at the house and head straight to the palace. He mentioned it to Magda in the kitchen before calling his guards. He waved at Ryder at the island too. The child giggled and tried paying more heed to his eating._

 _Magda was glad to see his back. She whistled a happy tune when Kirk left the kitchen and calmed down. Just as Kirk left though, Ryder tried catching up. He was caught by his nurse, admonished about bothering the Starfleet officers. Ryder was quiet. The way the nursemaid spoke made it seem like it was death to follow three men out to the palace. It was harsh and rude._

 _Kirk sighed. He regretted having to leave the boy behind and resolved to spend some time with him later. He did not want to admit it yet, but he loved Ryder. It was a secret emotion he kept close to his heart. Work before pleasure, he reasoned. He couldn't just rush off to see Ryder and Alyssa anytime he wanted to. He had to maintain his domestic atmosphere quietly._

 _It was an uneventful walk to the palace. Kirk soon met the chancellor in the foyer and they joined the others for their morning meal. Although seated some distance away from Amelia, he noted that she was awfully silent during the event, mumbling her apologies and constantly calling over her counsel men to whisper something. Usually, their answers were not to her satisfaction and paled her further. Something was obviously going on._

 _Kirk wasn't one to pry. He waited for the appropriate time in which he could make an inquiry about the problem. If he could do anything to help the situation, he was more than willing to do any task. Most certainly, it would beat any diplomatic meeting. Kirk was up for some action._

 _Amelia saw this. She raised her hand to stop his questioning. "Admiral, I would suggest minding your own business this time."_

" _Was I that obvious?" He smiled._

" _This is a local issue. Starfleet is slightly involved."_

" _What are they required for? What is going on?"_

" _Oh, there is some trouble with one of the units. Nothing more than a skirmish."_

 _Kirk did not like the sound of it. "Are they under attack? Did they instigate anything with your people?"_

 _The chancellor refused to answer and ended the discussion. Kirk decided that he would find out for himself. After breakfast and the following government meeting he hardly remembered, he rushed out. He beat his guards back to Alyssa's house, storming inside and searching for the family. He didn't find a soul, not even Magda and Ryder. When his guards caught up, he ordered them to repeat his actions._

 _Nervous, he abandoned them once more and went to the backyard, noticing Magda and Ryder. There was no sign of Alyssa. Kirk shook violently. He always had gut feelings. He never felt so much dread inside of him though. It churned like a stormy ocean, crashing against his stomach again and again._

 _Kirk grabbed Magda's arm. "Where's Alyssa?"_

" _Handling a situation outside of town," the nursemaid replied. Her eyes remained on Ryder climbing into the tree house. "The farmers were revolting. They saw the Starfleet officers and lost control."_

 _Kirk did not have time to think. Springing to action, he ran in the opposite direction, through the house and out the door. He called out to his men behind him, but did not look back to see if they followed. All he cared about was the people involved. He understood why the farmers would rebel, with conditions and punishments so hard. With their hatred against the Federation and Starfleet, it was a deadly concoction. Innocents would be killed._

 _One of the points behind his inspection tour was to keep the peace. If he couldn't even help with that, what would this Synprilox being in Federation mean? How could the Federation hope to find peace with them too? There wouldn't be a planet left!_

 _There was another alternative motive. Knowing that Alyssa was also out there prompted him forward. Kirk would never admit it to anyone that he loved her enough to die for her. He could not stand the thought of losing her. It would darken his life all the more if anything happened to her._

* * *

 **Lyrics are from the Moody Blues song "Your Wildest Dreams"**


	22. Racing Against Time

The pair slept side-by-side in their separate chairs, the fire dying to embers as the hours passed from night to day. By the time the sun streamed through the living room, they were alert and dressed. Alyssa decided to continue whatever duties she had remaining to her and escort her children to their day activities (Ryder to his ship and Alyssa to the daycare). Kirk still had to sit at the conference table with or without their guests.

To be honest, Kirk was disinclined to deal with Cartwright and had little faith in his abilities. At the same time, the admiral was in charge of the situation and hardly seemed interested in controlling it properly, only putting his nose into everybody else's business. Kirk only hoped that the Thyrians would be wise enough to remain at recess until the investigations were completed by all parties. That way, he and Alyssa could still conduct their search quietly and without Cartwright on their backs.

As the morning progressed and they settled down to some coffee, Kirk found it strange that Riley did not page him as he normally did. Thinking that two kids kept him busy as soon as they woke up, he figured that he and Alyssa will see him on their way out and pry Ryder and Ali away from their petty arguments. He mentioned this to Alyssa as they finished their coffee. She agreed.

"Riley is probably getting a headache," she said. "I would. Those two fight like cats and dogs most days."

Kirk chuckled. "That bad?"

"You have no idea." Alyssa stirred some dairy into her concoction and drained the remainder of the cup. "Those two have gotten into the worst arguments. It makes battling with the Romulans tame."

He got the point. Kirk too finished his coffee. "Riley has his hands full then."

After putting the empty mugs in the kitchen sink, they departed from Kirk's apartment together and walked the few yards over to Riley's door. Kirk rang the doorbell and waited. There was no answer. This too was out of the ordinary. Even though Riley had instances where he was irresponsible and open to heavy drinking, he was always awake and pushing the day's agenda at Kirk. There was no way the aide could have found time to become intoxicated.

Alyssa noticed Kirk's frown. "Do you think he's still sleeping?" she suggested. She doubted it.

"No," Kirk replied quickly. "I'm sure he went to bed after I left him…"

Alyssa didn't like this situation any better than the admiral. She had a bad feeling and terror soon filled her. Drawing her service weapon and setting it to stun, she waved Kirk to one side and commanded the computer to exert the building's security keypad. Using a genetic code to bypass the alarms and to gain access into the apartment, she waited a moment for the doors to open. Seeing nothing ahead, she peeked inside and gasped.

The security officer had seen several scenes over the years, from minor altercations between couples to brutal mass killings of innocents. Although compared to those, the mess before them was relatively small, albeit a hard one indeed. There had been an obvious struggle for power. Furniture was overturned or broken. Items were scattered everywhere. The windows had been shattered. The door leading to the balcony had been used as a point of entry, the only area that was not entirely destroyed.

Inside, Alyssa was screaming. On the outside, she calmly went into the apartment, calling for the occupants' names over and over again, searching each room carefully. She did not care that she destroyed any evidence. The only thing she was focused on was finding her children. Fear chilled her.

Each room had revealed nothing. Riley's bedroom was empty, literally ripped to shreds, from the walls to the sheets on the bed. His bed was slept in, but he had been pulled from it by surprise from the way the blankets and pillows had been placed. Alyssa saw little blood there too, indicating that Riley put up a good fight and had been disabled.

Alyssa struggled to keep her heart from pounding out of her chest as she emerged from Riley's bedroom. Keeping steady by holding the wall, she realized that Ryder and Ali were obviously not in the apartment, but there were items around her that might indicate where they went. She soon found their overnight bags, passed in her hurry to find the trio. They had been opened and tossed around the living room like they were being used to distract someone.

Some of their clothes had also been sent in the same state of Riley's bedroom. Most of them were Ali's pajamas. Alyssa groaned. She kneeled before the blue and white set with trepidation and hung the stripes over her fingers, shaking. This wasn't supposed to be real. This wasn't supposed to be happening. Her children, the pride and joy of her life, were gone, _kidnapped_. They possibly could be dead.

Her worst nightmare had come true. She wasn't there to prevent it. It was all her fault.

Kirk did not openly show that he too was feeling the same way. Stepping in as he pushed away his own madness, he met Alyssa near the ruined clothing and helped her up. He caught her in his arms as she collapsed in grief and guilt. He saw that she was growing spastic. Although taking deep breathes to keep calm, Alyssa was shaking. Her eyes darted left and right constantly, seeking any more clues that would lead her to Ryder and Ali.

"I already called base security," Kirk said. He forced Alyssa to face him, eye to eye. "They'll be here in a few minutes."

"Someone should have heard something," Alyssa insisted. Fat tears sprung out unexpectedly. "I should have known. I should have stayed with them, Jim. This would not have happened if I was with them. Ali and Ryder and Riley –"

"And done what, Alyssa? We would have been in the same predicament if we stayed here. Riley was with them. He must have done what he could. It might have meant that he could not ring for help."

"At least I would have been there with them!"

Kirk was surprised by the outburst. He felt the same way though and that was the problem. He saw the situation as preventable. He also believed that he and Alyssa would have been used, not the children, and did not view them staying with Riley as a target. Somebody from the Thyrian camp was watching them. He was sure of it.

 _But who? And why?_

He soon found Alyssa slowly becoming unreasonable and sometimes illogical. She talked about what-if possibilities and what she could have done in a fast-paced manner, almost to the point where he could not understand what she was saying. Everything taught to her by Kurt and her experiences with Starfleet were caught in a fantasy world that he did not understand. Eventually, he stopped her midsentence and released her.

"We don't know what happened, Alyssa," he reminded her. "They could be anywhere. Anybody could have them. We have to wait and see."

"I know the drill," she replied. Her voice was soft and tinged with anger. "We sit on our laurels and pretend that we are normal people. Dammit, Jim, we are not. Our children and your aide are out there. They need us!"

Kirk struggled for a reply. He acknowledged that Alyssa was right, but did not want to tell her directly yet. "And we are walking a very thin line, _Captain_. I think you need to remember that."

Alyssa's face flushed bright red. Kirk could not tell if it was fury or embarrassment by the formality. She was about to retort when they heard the turbolift behind them open. Their help had arrived and the discussion had to end.

They both found that it was easier for Kirk talk with base security for a few minutes and answered their questions. While still obviously distressed, Alyssa chimed in every once in a while in a mousy voice. She mostly kept to herself though, eying the apartment every once and then, like she was searching for a clue to the trio's whereabouts that nobody could see. She was almost shocked into silence.

After the preliminary check began, Kirk escorted Alyssa back to his apartment. When she sat before the fireplace without complaint, he placed a call to Cartwright in the other room to cover his ass. He explained everything that conspired since the night before minus a few key details. While placing Earth on high alert was a big deal, no details had been forthcoming and those in Starfleet and the Federation had been annoyed that their usual activities had been curtailed. It was within Alyssa's jurisdiction to keep some decisions discrete and tell whoever she feels required the information.

Cartwright had just been informed of Alyssa's orders from her subordinates and was not pleased with the restrictions and little explanation. He accepted this decision though. He covered for Alyssa whenever possible, Kirk heard through a series of complaints. Having to ground every vessel and search every pocket was not the night some dignitaries, officials and officers desired. However, with an attack on a Starfleet officer and few witnesses, threats had to be taken seriously.

He only ordered them both to remain out of sight until he had discussed the situation with the Federation president in greater detail. Already, there had been some guards placed near the Thyrians and mostly because they already cast a suspicious shadow. Kirk and Alyssa were not the only ones who detested their actions. Cartwright played off that he too did not like them and was on their side the whole time.

"And the assassination attempt?" Kirk inquired. "Will this too be investigated further?"

"That is also still under review," Cartwright revealed. "Nothing more can be said, Jim. You don't give much either. At this point, you and Captain Elma need to stay out of trouble."

"It's easier said than done, Lance. Trouble likes coming to us."

"I _see_ that. I hope this is concluded to Captain Elma's satisfaction though. Having the children of our head of security missing is no laughing matter."

"Lance, keeping anybody that high up the food chain is no laughing matter. Being an officer of Starfleet has its honors, but it also comes with this high price."

Cartwright sighed. "I agree. But what were Captain Elma and her children doing with you and Commander Riley anyway, Jim? Something going on between you two that I should know about?"

"Well, since Captain Elma felt there was a threat, she decided in a logical manner that being together would ensure everybody's safety. This was a huge miscalculation."

"I'd say. Now, I have a ship captain pestering me about his recently graduated cadet, a daycare matron relieved to be rid of _her_ pest, the head of Starfleet security out of her mind and an admiral with too many secrets."

Kirk felt the jab sharply. He forced himself to smile. "I've told you everything I knew, Lance. Whenever I get more information, I'll let you know. Kirk out."

The admiral returned to his living room to find Alyssa missing. Suddenly frantic, he started looking for her, but was instantly calmed when he saw her on the balcony outside, watching the bustle below. Kirk joined her, standing to her right. He felt that there was nothing much to say to her. After his rebuke, his tongue was tied. For the first time in over a decade, he had treated her worse than a yeoman. For that, he was sorry.

But Kirk didn't want to admit it yet. That would mean facing his greatest fear and taking part of this misery. Instead, he followed Alyssa's eyes below them. There wasn't much going on in a typical workweek in San Francisco. While the town was the main headquarters for Starfleet and the Federation and their guests, the streets below were going about like nothing had happened. Life had continued to circle and nobody understood that three people were missing and the Thyrians were under a microscope bigger than theirs.

On display before an audience, Alyssa was coping well enough. If the admiral looked closer though, he noticed subtle movements that indicated more than parental worry. It was culpability. Her worst fears had come true. Alyssa had sworn to protect her children and felt that she had failed in that obligation. Kirk could not blame her.

She broke that trance. "What did Cartwright say?"

Kirk wasn't going to lie to her. He hid the call already. "Follow the usual procedures and keep out of trouble."

"What Cartwright doesn't know will not hurt him."

"Alyssa, we have to wait for –"

"At this point, Jim, I don't care anymore." She faced Kirk with fierce, fiery eyes. "My children… _our_ children…are out there. Riley is who-the-hell-knows where! We don't know who exactly could have broken in without someone seeing or hearing them. No." She paused. "We have other options, Jim. There are different leads to follow. All the threads connect back to here."

He conceded her point. "Who did you tell about Jason Lattimer?"

Alyssa's temper flared. "Nobody! Nobody at all! Ali might have known something, but she was guessing. A few days ago, she was outlining what will happen during and after the conference." She caught her breath and suppressed a sob. "She didn't mention this."

"Do you remember what else she said?"

"Not all of the exact details, no." At the realization, Alyssa burst out crying. She sat down on the chair she used the night before. "Jim, I don't know. _I don't know!_ I should have paid more attention to her."

He sat down next to her, putting an arm around her shoulder and embracing her sideways. "Alyssa's there was no way we could have seen this coming. I don't think our daughter would have either."

Alyssa wanted to laugh. It was a ridiculous notion that Kirk would admit his ties. But she had more important things to concern herself with. Out there, her children waited for her. There was also their main suspect, Jason Lattimer. He might be their key.

She wiped away her tears. "What can we do now?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Kirk said. He encouraged her to rise.

Composing herself, Alyssa followed Kirk. They settled in a side room where he communicated with officials and had his computer. Kirk requested some information concerning the refugee program from it and waited. Alyssa paced, her brain racking what else she could do. She had her reservations though.

It was obvious that Cartwright was on their case. He wasn't exactly on their side. He was nagging them about what they found and why. He was also pretty nosy about something else. When she recalled their meeting the night before, she thought his questions to Ryder ridiculous. Now, they made sense. Cartwright was interested in what kind of relationship she and Kirk had.

Alyssa knew about the rumors. She disregarded them every time she heard them. It was easy to lie when the truth had been denied for years. But why was Cartwright so interested in it? What was he hiding? Alyssa knew that he had a hand in the situation with Synprilox. He should have all the details excluding her love affair with Kirk.

The admiral interrupted her thoughts. "The refugee program is located in Sacramento. They are a branch of Starfleet, but there isn't as much paperwork to process. They can have agents pick up anyone within the hour."

"Can they accommodate what we need?" Alyssa asked. She felt weak and leaned on the back of Kirk's chair for support.

"I'm sure they can if some strings are pulled."

"Are you using your rank?"

Kirk grinned. "Advantages of being a rear admiral."

She nodded. It wasn't often that Kirk lauded his promotion. "When do you want to leave?" Her voice almost came out as a squeak.

"You should stay here or go home," Kirk suggested. "I can take care of this. You shouldn't overwork yourself."

"Don't coddle me, Jim," she warned again. "I can take care of myself. Besides, if I stay behind, I'm liable to be stuck in my head. Best that I listen to Cartwright and stay out of trouble."

Kirk could see Alyssa's point. He was worried about her though. Images passed through his mind, mostly almost impossible situations that she would put herself through. He pictured her running through San Francisco and beyond, picking apart every lead to find Riley and the children. He also saw her being sent to the Federation Funny Farm too and breaking free at the first opportunity.

She was right. Keeping her busy might keep her from rushing into bad decisions. But the insane part of it was that he would have done the same thing. If they didn't have this one lead, Kirk would be off with Alyssa. His newfound feelings resurfaced with an intensity he could not shake off anymore.

"All right," Kirk agreed. "One wrong move and I'll have McCoy sedate you."

Alyssa smiled. She tried remaining light in this serious moment. "I should say the same about you."

~00~

 _Kirk felt that he was racing against time. His guards could not keep up with his pace, losing the admiral within a mile after his run began. He did not care. He flagged down transportation when he could and kept requesting to be brought to the next town over, whatever it was, to retrieve the Starfleet officers that were involved in a skirmish. He was mostly turned down. The last person informed him that nobody would near the fighting._

 _Finally, he tired of receiving negative answers and sought another way to get there faster. "Can you at least give me directions?"_

" _What does it matter to you?" the man volleyed back in Standard. He flicked the reins to his horse from his high wagon seat. "It's all the same to us. Death. Civil war. Revolution. Repeat. Nothing will stop it."_

 _Kirk did not like reminding people that he was an admiral and worth of respect. While he had remained low when it came to the civilians of Synprilox, he again attempted to use his rank. "There are Starfleet officers that are involved in a fight with your people. They are my responsibility."_

 _Before Kirk could continue, the man spat on the ground near his feet and took off. "Starfleet has done nothing for Synprilox," he called back. "Let them all be buried six feet deep."_

 _It gnawed at the admiral that the people of Synprilox would allow Starfleet officers to perish. As he watched his last chance drive away, he reevaluated his predicament. He had no idea where this place was and how to get there. Nobody was willing to help him. And by the time he reached this place, he might be too late._

 _He thought that he could find some answers at the resettlement transport. He hardly remembered where it was and continued asking for a ride every opportunity he saw. He managed to negotiate one once he refrained from mentioning the outbreak or about Starfleet. Any reminders seem to seal him from any answers._

 _After being dropped off twenty minutes later, he pushed his way through the lines from the entranceway onward. Some of the refugees recognized him and called out his name, asking for a greeting or for help. He waved absentmindedly and frantically searched the recently returning groups storming in suddenly. He stopped before their entranceway and watched._

 _All of them were obviously in need of medical care. A majority were requesting a transfer to Kepler III after they recovered. The others not involved heard these stories and started gossiping about the altercation. What Kirk heard from his position was that Starfleet officers had passed by a group of frustrated farmers. These civilians had enough of them and pelted their visitors with rocks and tools for no reason. It morphed into an all-out battle that would have gotten worse had not one of the Starfleet officers put an end to it._

 _Kirk decided that enough was enough. He went past the line again and stopped someone explaining their situation to an intake employee. "Who stopped them? Who stopped the fighting?"_

 _The woman shrugged her shoulders. "Some female officer," she said. The worker beside her also took this information down. "She was behind us a while back. I don't know where she is now."_

 _Kirk had no time for details. Without thinking, he ran outside. While watching the crowds, his eyes scanned each one for Alyssa. She had to be that woman, she reasoned. She had to be!_

 _He continued this until he saw the first line of Starfleet security officers heading off the rear of the procession. A lot of them he recognized as Alyssa's subordinates. Some were hurt and others used as their backup, he noticed. He met with them and pelted each with questions._

 _All of them had the same story as the Synprilox refugees, but added a few details that the civilians did not have. They were issued orders to keep a perimeter around the farming sector from Admiral Ciana. There were reports of retaliation from other industries and a possible insurrection from within their quarters as well. Alyssa took the lead, first calming the farmers down and then sending some men to meet the leaders of the different businesses rumored to be part of the conspiracy._

" _How did it start?" Kirk demanded._

" _I don't know, Admiral," one admitted. "We were talking pleasantly with the farmers one moment. The next, we were being hit with anything they could throw at us. We had to protect ourselves and the innocents."_

 _Kirk was frustrated. Thanking them, he allowed them to go forward. He still continued his search for Alyssa, meeting with each Starfleet officer until he noted her, the last of the security to come. She was helping a family of five, carrying two young sleeping children in her arms and keeping her balance well despite a limp. The mother behind her held hands with two older ones. All six of them had been injured._

 _He met with her silently, taking one of the slumbering wards out of her arms. He followed her to the medical ward and ensured that the family was seated together. The mother nodded her appreciation to the pair as a medic met her and her children. As Alyssa and Kirk retreated, she began her tale of woe and gratefulness to the workers._

 _Before they left the medical ward, another worker tagged Alyssa. Noticing her limp, he made her lay on a bed despite the arguments she put up. Kirk encouraged this, ordering Alyssa to listen. He himself sat in a chair next to her and asked for some privacy. Once the medic closed the curtain around her and the admiral, their argument started._

 _Alyssa sat up, rubbing her sore ankle. "Admiral –"_

" _You could have been killed." Kirk found himself angry and hurt. "What the hell did you think you were doing?"_

" _My orders came from Admiral Ciana," she replied coldly. "In order to protect a food source and to keep Synprilox was starving, my men were told to retain order. The farmers had been threatened by several foreign industrial workers. As I understand it, someone falsely gave them information about Starfleet and one of them began instigating the farmers to attack us."_

" _How did you get so involved? You could have left."_

" _Admiral, it is_ my _responsibility to restore order and I had to use any means possible. By the time it turned into a riot, houses had been destroyed and people had been hurt and killed. I stayed behind after consoling all parties. I decided to resituate the survivors and to report the damages."_

 _Hot, churning acid dripped from the admiral's tongue, but he refused to spit it out again. Instead, a jumble of words jumped out and all of it about regulations. "It was a fool's notion to station Starfleet officers in an area where it's known to have trouble. There should have been backup at the very least."_

" _Yes, Sir. I apologize. Admiral Ciana did not mention –"_

" _It does not matter what Admiral Ciana did or did not mention! She should have known the whole picture. Did you mention_ that _to her?"_

" _She is aware of the –"_

" _I did not ask you what she was aware of, did I?!"_

 _Alyssa was surprised by the outbursts, involuntarily flinching. Taking a deep breath to show she was not intimidated, she said, "No, you didn't, Admiral. To answer your question, I did tell Admiral Ciana. She was supposed to pass it to Admiral Nogura for further review. The head of Starfleet security and the Federation were also supposed to report their findings. No answer has been received yet. Proper procedure has been followed."_

 _Kirk felt like he was knocked off of a high horse. His breath was taken away. The simplicity and strength of this woman, who was so quick to calm this rage, was amazing. His mask fell off as quickly as it had been put on. With nobody nearby to see and hear them, he was brave enough to take Alyssa's hand and hold it tightly._

" _I love you, Alyssa," he admitted. He never said those words to someone and meant it so deeply before. "I love you. I was so afraid that I lost you."_

 _Alyssa exhaled slowly. "I know, Jim. I know."_


	23. Mutual Grief and Joy

Maybe it was the silent trip to Sacramento or their mutual grief that spread a shorter gulf than before between the pair. The journey from San Francisco seemed more like a nightmare than a mission. Their hands remained clasped together in an effort to keep the other from running off. Their main focus had to be Jason Lattimer until it could shift to the missing. Business before the person, they knew. They easily detached from each other when they arrived at their destination.

From their stop, it was a short walk to the refugee office. Alyssa entered the building first and endured a retina scan. Kirk repeated, remaining close behind her in the eerie, cold corridors. Very few turned left or right and less taken by an inhabitant. Every five feet or so, there were doors that marked the occupants inside. Alyssa looked for the one that indicated that head of operations. Towards the end of the hallway on the left, she saw the title and rang the bell.

Kirk waited in breathless anticipation. The Starfleet run agency wasn't too well known and was rumored to be run by incompetent civilians, so small it was. The familiar red uniforms countered this proposal as the door opened and some minor workers milled around them, drawn to their entrance like butterflies to a flower. Alyssa took advantage of this, inquiring to a random secretary about the meeting for this morning and trying hard not to trip over the others that gawked over Kirk.

The worker nodded acknowledgement and pointed to a series of chairs nearby. She mentioned to Alyssa about a busy schedule and a new ship coming in with refugees from Calypso X. Ignoring this, Alyssa guided the admiral. The two sat down and waited for their turn.

Their stay stretched on in what seemed like forever. Kirk fought the urge to swing his legs, much as his nephews did when they were younger, and gripped the sides of his chair instead to avoid the embarrassment. Alyssa did the same, her eyes darting in suspicion to keep her boredom at bay. This was unfamiliar territory for her and she was wary anyway. She never trusted new places, especially ones that harbored questionable people.

After an hour, they were finally called. They rose together, following the same secretary into an inner office. They were instructed to sit down before the desk of Captain Ned Spaulding. He wasn't available at the moment they arrived, leaving the two more time to ponder their predicament. It drove them both mad. Alyssa was trying her hardest not to scream in frustration. Kirk was about to pull rank. It was ridiculous to have to wait for their appointment and be escorted to an empty promise. At the moment Alyssa and Kirk were going to act, Spaulding appeared and sat down.

"Admiral, Captain," he greeted with a respectful nod as if he had not kept them waiting for over an hour. "What can I do for you today?"

Alyssa bit her tongue to avoid swearing. "We are requesting sanctuary for a man who is a descendant of a Thyrian escapee," she explained calmly. "He currently resides in San Diego. We have reason to believe that his life is being threatened."

"How so?" Spaulding folded his manicured hands across his desk. "We have heard that the Thyrians are asking for Federation protection and opting for membership. They mean no harm to us."

Kirk jumped in. "They have mentioned in the negotiations that they are seeking imprisonment for this individual. Recent research of the planet has also turned up an isolationist and militaristic society that punishes those who do not conform. The sins of the parents reflect upon the children."

"I see, Admiral. Well, much as I'd like to help, we cannot at this time."

"Any reason why, Captain?"

Alyssa kept her temper in check quite well as she glared venomously at Spaulding. "I thought your department handles this sort of situation."

"It is," Spaulding confirmed, offended by the frosty atmosphere now. "Because of our own department changes, we currently do not have the manpower to cope with every hard case. At the moment, we are undergoing some departmental shake-ups and many of our agents have been…well, bagged, I should say."

"As head of Starfleet security, would I meet your qualifications?" Alyssa countered.

Kirk was amazed by her audacity. "Captain Elma, I don't think we should –"

"I'm not trying to stop on anyone's toes," she clarified, mostly for Kirk. A brief warning gaze fell on him. "If you cannot fulfill a request, would I be able to bring this person of interest in and hand him over to you for protection? I'm sure you have enough agents for that."

"Well, I – I mean, Captain Elma, _that_ is unusual." Spaulding was surprised. "Your qualifications are more than enough. Are you aware of our procedures?"

"I would believe that they are similar to any other pick-up," Alyssa replied coolly. "I also would assume that anybody I recruit would be appropriate for the task."

Kirk wanted to protest vigorously. Alyssa was talking about doing the job herself? And in the condition she was in? It was unheard of. She previously had a close call with her illness and was almost in the last stages of the disease. However, the way she talked meant something else. She had a plan and wasn't telling Spaulding everything. She added that clause for a reason.

Spaulding confirmed this. "If you're able to bring this…half Thyrian…alive to us, we'll be more than happy to relocate him. We have the people to keep him in hiding."

Alyssa called the meeting to an end by standing. Kirk followed suit to show that he was still in charge. They bid Spaulding a farewell and expressed appreciative gestures for his help. When they were out of the office, Kirk pushed her into a nearby remote hallway and pinned her against the wall. He was angry and had enough of the secrecy. They were supposed to be a team. This addition could have discussed it before making an offer to Spaulding.

 _But that's the admiral in you, Jim. What happened to the captain?_

"Demote me," Alyssa dared. She noticed the attitude and was in no mood for respect. "Transfer me. Report me. You've got the power to do what you want to. And I don't _care_ what you do, Jim. You cannot expect them to push us around and leave us staring at a brick wall. We need to take action ourselves. Honestly, we cannot go there ourselves, but we have other means. Not everybody we know is on the Thyrians' hit list."

"Like who?" Kirk demanded. His tone did not calm. "The Thyrians are familiar with your men and mine."

"Not all of them," she revealed.

The admiral was now confused. "Who else do you know?"

"Well, you're acquainted with this individual too. He's still fairly young, made first officer of a ship in recently, has originated everything to Russia…"

" _Chekov_? He's not authorized. He doesn't have the clearance you do."

"Some things you aren't meant to know, _Admiral_. Some things are meant to be kept between a few parties."

Kirk thought that she was playing with him. "You're bluffing."

"Me? Bluff? _No_." Alyssa shook her head. "Chekov has been doing some undercover work since he and Sulu were acquitted of those crimes a few years ago. You know that he has been a chief security officer on a few ships. Besides, he owes me a favor."

He would have asked what the circumstances were, but declined to inquire as his arms slacked and Alyssa squirmed free. She began to head towards the exit, opening a communicator and reaching Chekov in seconds. She stated some sort of code, gave the address in San Diego, and closed the line before Chekov said anything. She looked back at Kirk and grinned. It was the first time that she truly masked her anguish since the morning shock. They had at least scored a victory.

Within the hour, they were back at Kirk's apartment. Immediately, the admiral checked for messages and updates. There had been no new developments in any sector, which left them both disappointed and antsy. The only thing they waited for was Chekov saying that he released their person of interest to the proper authorities. They had too much spare time on their hands and little in the way of distraction until Jason Lattimer arrived.

In the meantime, they would have to pretend to do normal activities to keep their minds preoccupied. After calling Cartwright in his office and finding no other details, Kirk decided to cook lunch since they both skipped breakfast. He was about to ask Alyssa if she was interested, but found her retreated on the balcony. Again, she was in the same seat, staring out into nothing.

He joined her, sitting behind her and stroking her black and white hair like he used to. It was funny how he even half-expected her to grab a hairbrush and instruct him to use it since shedding her hair was almost akin to a crime. But when Alyssa turned to face Kirk, it was like she wasn't in the present moment. The hazel eyes that Kirk used to practically swim in had a hue of discoloration to them, almost red and grey in some areas. He was startled especially when she started talking about some party later that night. She wasn't agitated, but she was anxious.

Alyssa mumbled a name – Kurt, her deceased husband. She was worried about her parents finding out about something trivial. Soon, she was responding in full sentences in between Kirk's shocked silence as if Kurt was in front of her instead of the admiral. Tears filled her eyes on occasion, childlike and innocent and perhaps a little trusting too. It was almost like Alyssa's old nightmares except it was being played out in front of him.

Kirk only listened in horror, feeling a visitor of a dream that he could not participate in. He wiped her face with his thumb and listened to her finish the rambling. He didn't try adding to the drama. There wasn't even a script he could follow and the wrong words would deem it worse. It was enough to revisit these old wounds.

Eventually, Alyssa stopped talking and stood up, knocking Kirk balance off completely. Blinking a few times transformed her eyes back to normal. She looked down at Kirk In horror and immediately helped him up, begging him silently to do something, _anything_ , to stop her pain. He held her in his arms for comfort.

This was what Kirk had been warned about by McCoy. This was only the beginning of the end. Alyssa was nearing the last stages of her life.

"Can you – Jim, please, _end_ this," Alyssa begged. Her voice was muffled against his chest. "End this before it gets worse."

"No." Kirk respected the right to die, but could not do it to Alyssa. He was adamant. "It's a mercy I cannot give you, Alyssa. If there was anything else I could do, you know I would."

She nodded. It was unfair of her to ask him. "I understand."

They did not mention the event or the suggestion again. Instead, Kirk led Alyssa inside for lunch. Half an hour later, they were eating in the same silence. Alyssa was more concerned and it wasn't because her children and Riley were missing. It had been over two hours since she talked with Chekov about picking up Jason Lattimer. Normally, she would have received a message back by now with positive results. Chekov was quick and effective.

Now, she doubted herself and Chekov. There was the possibility of trouble. The Thyrians could have gotten there first and Chekov could have dealt with the aftermath. However, Alyssa dashed that thought. Nobody would have had the ability to research all of her contacts in less than a week. She had too many that linked and circled back and not everyone was well known in Starfleet circles.

Just as she finished eating, her communicator chirped. She answered it carefully, especially when she noted Chekov's ID flashing. "Elma here."

"I have him," Chekov replied with glee. "In custody now."

Alyssa smiled. "Was there any trouble, Pavel?"

"None at all. He came quietly enough."

"Does he know anything yet?"

"It's not of my business, Alyssa."

That was their code for telling the other that they did not care because the job was done. Alyssa suppressed the urge to laugh hysterically and answer back in the same vein. Kirk stared at her in a curious manner though. He heard the good news and would want to move to San Diego as soon as possible.

Alyssa closed quickly. "Many thanks, Chekov. We'll talk later. Elma out."

Kirk didn't need to be told twice. Quickly, he gathered the dishes and placed them in the sink. Then, he and Alyssa were out the door. While she still did not speak of her sickness and the past incident on their way out, the admiral still worried. In the back of his mind, he thought that something was going to happen. It was a feeling he tried dispelling, but was unable to.

~00~

 _Alyssa protested that she did not require any help exiting the facility. Kirk ignored her, using all of his charms as he supported her to gain a ride back. He managed to get a social worker from the center to comply. While he managed to get the security officer outside, their assistant helped him lift Alyssa into the vehicle before taking the driver's seat up front. Kirk took the opposite seat from Alyssa. He was glad to be off._

 _On the way back, the two sat in silence. The admiral mulled over their conversation at the medical bay. He was confused about Alyssa's response. Although it was endearing (and somehow referenced something she knew from her past culture, he was sure), Kirk noticed that she always said that she knew that he loved her, but never replicated the same response. That made her all the more special and strange._

 _Towards the end of their trip, Alyssa finally spoke up. When they were just over the town lines, he had to endure her words of thanks and statements of how he shouldn't have done what he did. Alyssa cited how dangerous it was recently and how higher ranking officers were always the first to be picked off. She took care of herself, she added, and everyone involved had not been hurt badly, including herself. She only had a sprained ankle._

 _Kirk listened to her the same way he would a diplomat. He raised his hand for silence after a few minutes of the nonsense. "How would you have gotten home?"_

" _I always find a way." Alyssa's face was set stubbornly._

" _Well, if you were in charge of me, how would you have taken care of myself and my party?"_

" _Again, Admiral, the question seems redundant. I would have found a way."_

 _Kirk was slightly hurt by the formalities once more. He thought he managed to steer Alyssa past that when they were mostly alone. "You seem to believe in your own abilities as an officer. What about your feelings as a human being?"_

" _A Starfleet officer does not consider personal feelings."_

" _That's correct in many ways. Sometimes, it's also what you use to survive. Simple human emotion, from desperation to stubbornness, is what drives us. But you need to use it, Alyssa. You cannot keep giving of yourself for no reason and not take. You need to prove that you are not a robot. There is a mother and a lover in there, underneath the inventive Starfleet officer. That needs to come out too."_

 _Alyssa considered the words for a moment, but she could not make herself work it out. This was just another chink in her armor and Kirk was trying to pull it off of her. She tried seeing it his way. True, she had opened up more than she ever had in five years. It was too easy with the admiral since he was so persistent and kind. But she could not put her personal feelings with her professional work. It was going to kill her and those she loved._

But that's not what he means. Jim is talking about being me. He wants me for me.

 _The admiral watched her with amusement. "Are you sure you haven't studied logic?"_

" _You're mocking me," Alyssa complained._

" _No." He took her chin into his hand and held her gaze. It was a daring gesture in public. "Making an observation. I want you to keep showing me who you are. There are too many layers."_

That explains a lot. Jim's being nosy.

 _Alyssa again remembered Kurt. He was tough and without mercy because he was an Air Force pilot. When they met when she was a child, he held such a strong impression on her. While she toyed with other older men as a teenager, he had been in the back of her mind. He taunted her constantly until she left her parents at eighteen. He protected her and later Ryder as best as he could, but that had been his undoing as well. Even to the end, he had tired of who she was and tried morphing her into the working machine the military had been and she loved him for it._

 _Yes, Kurt would not have wanted her to grief forever, but he also would have wanted her to evolve and rise. She tried smiling at the admiral as he released her. It wasn't everyday that someone told her to be herself. It had been years since she was able to goof around or relax. Since political and social events brought her into the hands of Admiral Uriah and then the subsequent transfer after the discovery of this deceit, she had been so involved in a world that required all of her attention and disallowed little room for her own personal life. It was not allowed to her._

 _Little by little, she was allowing herself to grow with Kirk and she hadn't realized it until now. She was too obstinate and relentless in guarding herself. Kirk was right. She wasn't some emotionless being, but someone with flesh and blood. That meant she also could not ignore herself too._

 _Upon their return to the house, Kirk helped her out and into the living room to sit. Alyssa redirected him to her office instead and named it the most private space in her house to discuss their business. He complied with a familiar eyebrow rising and seated her at her desk chair. She pointed out another in the corner he could utilize. When she ordered the computer to lock all doors and to keep the lights on, Kirk was amused. She was serious._

" _I don't say this often because of how little I experience it." Alyssa took a deep breath. "I do love you, Jim. I love you. It took me some time to see it myself. But it's difficult to admit something that you deny yourself. It's something I fear."_

 _He took her shaking hand. "Love is sometimes best to forget too. I cannot forget you."_

" _But life will resume normally when you leave. You'll have Admiral Ciana and she'll be pleased. You cannot keep me long distance."_

" _We'll work that out when it comes. Admiral Ciana has nothing to do with it."_

 _Kirk got up and kneeled before Alyssa. She quickly ordered the lights off. Shrouded in darkness, they felt for each other awkwardly and managed to find one another on the floor as they tumbled. Even in pain, Alyssa wrapped herself around Kirk and felt a shower of kisses pelt her face before reaching her lips. She returned them, tugging on fabric. She did not know whose it was. She did not care._

 _The rest came easily. Their uniforms were off in seconds. Alyssa tried to take control and found it difficult to be on top, so Kirk gently pinned her next to her chair. She did not like that either and pushed him to the side so that they faced each other and propped up by their elbows. They stared eye to eye, challenging the other to make the first move. Alyssa decided that it was hers. She ordered some music to cover up the noise and allowed Kirk to lunge forward._

 _Some minutes later, they laid together on the carpet arm in arm, exhausted and trying to catch their breath. Now they found that they had to face reality. Outside, Magda was screaming about something. She demanded that Alyssa open up her office immediately. She was concerned since everyone was locked out._

 _Alyssa stood and limped to the intercom nearby. "Starfleet business, Magda. I'll be out in twenty minutes."_

" _What kind of business?" Magda demanded. "You have been secluded in there for an hour. Your son needs you and you've had calls from your men."_

" _This is business I can't discuss with you. Now, I'll be out when we're finished."_

 _Alyssa shut off the system and hobbled to Kirk's side. She shifted through the pile of clothes until she found her light tan pieces. She began dressing herself carefully, using her chair as a support. He did the same, disappointed as she was that their tryst was over. He tried catching a caress or two when he found a naked spot. Alyssa swatted him away, trying to keep her giggles in._

 _Eventually though, they had to face everyone. Alyssa ordered the music to shut off and sighed. She and Kirk could dupe anyone with their masquerade. It was easy to be professional and keep their intense sexual feelings to themselves. However, Magda knew what was happening. She wouldn't be fooled._

But she'll keep this secret. She knew all along we loved each other…right? Would Magda remain faithful to me?

 _Alyssa brushed the thoughts away. "Tonight?" she asked Kirk instead. She was scared of the answer._

" _My room," he confirmed. "I've got a few calls to make anyway."_

" _Oh?" Alyssa was intrigued._

 _The admiral easily dismissed her interest. "You'll see. I'll tell you more later."_


	24. Consequences

Kirk and Alyssa urgently retraced their steps back to the Sacramento refugee center. Upon their return, the place seemed to have transformed from their earlier visit. Already, it was booming like a beehive. Because they now had someone in their custody, the process of sanctuary and relocation began. Alyssa hoped that it wasn't in vain and that their efforts weren't too late.

After passing through security and reentering, Alyssa saw guards around the corner. Immediately, she and Kirk found Chekov standing to one side, pretending to clean his fingernails. He saw the pair and ceased slacking. He saluted them both, pretending not to be so familiar. Already, other interested Starfleet parties were lingering.

"Admiral, Captain." Chekov nodded sagely.

"Where did they place Jason Lattimer?" Alyssa asked.

"Processing," Chekov confirmed. "They vill have him in interview in half an hour. The floor is yours."

Alyssa was pleased. Thanking him with a kiss on both cheeks (which caused the Russian to blush brightly), she led Kirk down the appointed hallway. She found the way to the interview room via directions, enduring more security before entry. Spaulding was present and led the way, demanding answers to questions and using fingerprints and retina scans to an extreme, sometimes denying the results and ordering a retake. He knew who they were. He purposely kept messing up their testing to stall for time.

It was annoying. Alyssa thought it was revenge for their petulant interview previously. She and Kirk endured this as much as they could before the admiral threatened a call to Nogura. Once it was voiced, Spaulding was instantly satisfied. They were allowed a room, to wait for Jason Lattimer. There were no windows and only one camera to record visual and audio. They took the existing chairs on one side of a table and waited until their guest arrived.

This time, it did not take long. Three processing agents joined them, surrounding a young man. On close inspection, Jason Lattimer did not seem part Thyrian. Alyssa rubbed her eyes and looked again. Yes, he had some characteristics of his grandmother who escaped and some of the delegates that arrived. All and all, he had mostly the appearance of a human except for some of his skin. There was a light green pigmentation against the peach. His hair was black and stiff, almost like it was held back with hair gel, and his eyes were a dark brown.

Jason took the opposite chair and stared at the pair. It was extremely uncomfortable, but it did not faze them. When Alyssa motioned the three eavesdroppers to leave them, she returned the gaze without flinching. She hoped that Jason did not see them as a threat and tried softening her features. Already, she saw that he was frightened. He had been picked up by a Starfleet officer and deposited into an agency run by them. With news of the Thyrian peace, Jason must be terrified for his life.

He broke the trance and eyed Kirk. "I know you," he said carefully. Back to Alyssa, he added, "I also know you."

"I'm interested in how," Alyssa replied. She crossed her arms. "You have not met us until now."

"Personally, I do not," Jason admitted, "but anyone with Pholm's Radiation is easy to spot. And Admiral Kirk is a celebrated officer. I do not understand why he would need to speak with me."

"Because we have some business to conduct," Kirk announced. He leaned forward. "As you're aware, Thyria has declared peace and is here to dictate the terms with the Federation. They have named you as their new prisoner."

Jason paled. "W-w-w-what?"

"They want you as their prisoner," Kirk repeated. "Currently, the terms are not finalized. You are still a citizen of Earth and are subject to the laws of this planet. They cannot simply seize you."

"It won't stop them," Jason protested. He recovered himself. "They've kidnapped before. Children and enemies are their favorites. They become slaves."

Kirk and Alyssa exchanged quick glances. This wasn't what they were expecting. Slavery had been completely outlawed several decades ago. If a planet was joining the Federation, they had to admit all practices, even those that they deemed illegal. If Thyria failed to mention this, it would mean dire consequences. It wasn't just the conference that would be jeopardized. Kirk already saw Federation enforced isolation.

"What do you mean?" Alyssa asked instead. It terrified her to imagine Ryder and Ali being held as slaves. She bit her lip to keep it from quivering.

"I know that my grandmother is the only Thyrian to escape the world," he explained. "She was paranoid. She feared being captured and enslaved. Death was her only mercy. Until the end, she warned everyone that the Thyrians would be back."

"What other information did you grandmother have? What did she tell you about Thyria?"

"Information comes at a steep price, Captain…?"

"Elma. Captain Alyssa Elma."

"Captain Elma then. What is our exchange?"

"You're here and not released to the representatives of Thyria. Isn't that enough?"

"What about your word?"

"If you want to patch a video call through to Kepler III, you are more than welcome to. They can testify to my character. But we don't have time for any games, Jason. You are either going to help us or not."

"That planet was settled by a Starfleet savior. Are you telling me –?"

"I did nothing but move people from a dying world. I saved people and it was approved by the Federation. I am no one's savior."

Jason perked up. The way Alyssa deflected any credit from herself struck him as snappish instead of humble. He kept looking at her through another set of eyes. Sure, she was tough as nails. But inside of her was something else – a light of some sort. He kept that to himself and decided to use another tactic.

"There is a cure, you know," he mentioned casually. "That radiation was created through Synprilox's trade with Thyria. Those minerals they used to make weapons out of? Thyria changed the consistency of it and mold it in a molecular mess."

Kirk felt his heart rapidly beat into his throat. There was a cure for this deadly illness he feared would take Alyssa away? How was it made? Where could it be _found_?

For him, there was hope. It wasn't just for Alyssa. There was a chance now, one for thousands of people on Kepler III. Oh, he wouldn't be lying if he wasn't being selfish. It would mean a great deal to have her alive longer. But duty comes first. He and Alyssa would agree to the infected population being handled first before her personal gain. She would die than allow thousands to suffer more.

The security officer held off any excitement too. "That much we have deducted. Handling such material would mean a dedicated medical team to counter any side effects. If there is a way to prevent people from dying, then where would it be?"

"I would assume with the men who hold the weapons," Jason replied. "I know that they are contaminated from manning their stations. Because so many had been affected, they had to find a cure to reverse the effects. They would lose more people otherwise and wipe out a planet."

"How do you know so much?" Kirk demanded. "You seem to have more information than your uncle. He left behind a record, but in one part."

"Uncle Hugh had more knowledge than I ever will. He never completed his work. He verbally repeated everything to me until I memorized it. He knew that he was going to be poisoned. It was a matter of when. He did not go quickly. I just hope his soul is at peace."

"Poisoned from what? This radiation?"

"I will leave it to your imagination, Admiral. I have my theories. They cannot be proven though."

"That does not answer my question."

"No, it does not. But something that is so obvious should not be repeated."

"You were the secret keeper chosen by your uncle," Alyssa interjected. She could not be persuaded otherwise. "Your grandmother parted him the information and he to you. Your parents sent you away to live a life of solitude within a community almost like you to prevent someone from finding you. Someone had to."

"I would give you a prize for original thinking, Captain, but I have nothing except my name," Jason said. "However, your inquiries are tiring. Honestly, what are you planning on doing with me, now that I am a refugee?"

"Hopefully, reassign you to another location," Alyssa revealed. "Because your life is now in danger, Admiral Kirk and I are taking personal responsibility for your protection. You will be staying here. An agent will be retrieving your personal items to take on the next leg of your journey. You will be contacted about any information regarding Thyria when we request it. This, along with my word as an officer and a gentleman, will be our exchange."

Jason seemed somewhat pleased with the arrangement. "I would be careful if I were you, Captain," he warned. "The Thyrians do not take kindly to instigators."

"I figured as much," Alyssa stated coolly. "Before I let you go, Jason, I need you to answer this. If the Thyrians were to kidnap children, where would they be? You said that they will be slaves. But you never mentioned where they would be hidden."

Jason struggled to answer and hesitated many times. "If they are dry docked somewhere, I would begin a search there. There have a…a brig specially made for their new arrivals."

Alyssa did not want to imagine the implications. Time was of the essence now. The indirect mention of torture was sinister enough. Thyria was isolated enough that it could hide its transgressions. Easily, she could picture Riley and her children trapped inside a cell without room to stand, sit or kneel. She squeezed tears away seeing her daughter raped and her son whipped. The aide was daring and would be picked off in no time.

Underneath the table, she felt Kirk's hand brush her knee. He did not linger for long. It was a quiet gesture, telling her stay strong. She could not afford worrying. Jason was already peering at her curiously enough. His facial features asked for Alyssa to elaborate.

Instead, they thanked their guest and stood to leave. The three agents took Jason away. Outside the building, they found an awning to sit under and waited for the shuttlecraft to pick them up. All the while, they both kept the negative thoughts at bay. Without saying anything, they both found that the other was looking for comfort and denying themselves the right to take it from the other.

Kirk reached for Alyssa and held her hand. He was fighting. For the first time in his life, he had to battle with himself. To be a rock, he had to act like the Starfleet officer and remain impassive. To collapse in grief, he had to be a parent. It was so new that the feeling almost overwhelmed him in raw grief.

"What should we do?" Alyssa's voice sounded small. "We can't just waltz into a foreign ship in dry dock and demand entry. We have one witness and his information is third-hand."

"You have the power and the right on suspicion alone," Kirk reminded her. "If we can build a case, a team can investigate further for you."

She nodded in agreement. "We'll build it," she said. She didn't sound too confident though, like she was at the end of her road. "For our sake anyway, we need to. There are people who depend on us."

There was no need for a reply. By then, their ride arrived. They kept a silent vigil straight to Kirk's apartment, avoiding any contact with each other. Entering the complex made the pair uneasy though. By the time they entered the turbolift, Alyssa was on edge. She purposely put herself in front of the admiral and drew her service weapon with shaking hands. She sensed, as well as Kirk, that something was off.

When the doors opened, they walked the hallway to his apartment. Kirk also pulled his out to cover the rear. Alyssa did not think it was necessary because their danger lay ahead. All appeared normal though, even as the admiral ordered the computer to unlock his doors.

Inside, they saw no forced entry and nothing was out of place initially. However, they did not relax. Kirk went in one direction and Alyssa the other to search the apartment. The admiral saw nothing on his end and turned around to yell for the security officer. The reply was a scream and a loud fight that ensured from Alyssa's side. Rushing out, he found someone emerging from the shadows. Alyssa's limp form was dragged in front of the figure, a knife to her throat.

"One wrong move, Admiral Kirk, and it won't be the poison that deals a cruel hand." A Thyrian showed himself. "Put your phaser down slowly."

Kirk obeyed. He kept it between his fingers, inching his phaser to the floor and gently laying it there. Another Thyrian came up from behind him. He picked up the weapon and tossed it to his friend. It was pocketed quickly.

"I thought you were smarter than this, Admiral," the intruder continued. "It's been to long since you've seen everyone, hasn't it? Your lover included? You couldn't resist, could you?"

"What is the meaning of this?" Kirk demanded. He ignored any references to his relationship to anyone linked to Synprilox, Alyssa most of all. "We are on a mission of peace. We do not intend war."

"We do," the Thyrian announced. "I hope that my name you will remember, Admiral, since you cannot remember me. My name is Ghanstan, a member of the Honored and creator of all Thyria stands for. We have our dreamers who believe in peace. The rest of us are incensed about the Federation's dealings with Synprilox. It's because of you, Admiral, that we have suffered without our neighbor."

"I have done nothing," Kirk declared. "You have. This is an act of hostility."

Ghanstan smiled. "Precisely, Admiral." He faced his friend and waved. "Take him away. I'll take care of her."

Kirk lunged forward and tried reaching his adversary. He underestimated how easy two targets were and was quickly overcome by the Thyrian behind him and slammed to the floor. As Ghanstan disappeared from his blurry vision, carrying Alyssa over his shoulder like she was a prize, Kirk tried one more time to get up. His hand stretched out in a pathetic effort to catch her as his legs stumbled through the steps to stand. From behind, he felt something hard strike his head.

His world went black.

~00~

 _The next few weeks passed quickly and it soon reached the halfway point in the inspection tour. Nowadays, Kirk found that they were full of not just boring meetings and avoiding eye contact with a certain security officer until after hours. He also discovered that it was about compromise, secrets and observation. He could not make the situation with Synprilox change, but he was able to at least calm some of the radical behavior and bring safety to more._

 _Once most of Synprilox realized that the admiral was a complete tool for Starfleet and was here just to see things and report back to Earth, he was no longer an assassination target. He was respected. While he spoke with the chancellor and her counsel, people approached him with petitions and pleas for advice. They pelted him with urges for modifications with their membership. They begged for protection from the unknown enemy and a cure for the radiation so that they did not have to travel to another planet for sanctuary._

 _Kirk did the best he could to assemble teams for each problem, nagging Lori so much that she shut off communications for two weeks until he promised not to badger her for faster results. Some Federation groups had been dispatched to handle the political aspect. The search for the deadly rays continued in earnest though. Several ships searched far and wide after each attack. They had some clues and followed them._

 _At this point, Kirk had yet to hear back about the results. He was more concerned about the survivors and the defense. A treatment plan for those affected was implemented, but with little results so far. Medical teams studied for several hours, trying to find a solution. Regardless of the conclusions, he sent the information to Lori, whether she liked it or not._

 _The best parts of his day always involved Alyssa and Ryder. He slowly became accustomed to being a sort of parental figure to the boy, although the choice was not his or Alyssa's. It took some weeks before Ryder was used to the admiral. He was soon bothering him to play. At first, Kirk wasn't too keen on involving himself with a child that was not his and hardly had any idea how to deal with him properly anyway. He tried following along with the child and doing the best he can, even if it meant sitting outside and pretending to be an alien._

 _However, as time passed and Ryder led the way, he became more comfortable climbing to the treehouse, running around the yard and playing imaginary games that involve exploration and unknown worlds. Kirk was always good at the real simulation. He always imagined himself back on his ship and commanded Ryder. He obeyed quickly, countering with imaginary intelligence reports of his own. It made being a captain once more too bittersweet._

 _Like Kirk, Alyssa wasn't around often during the day. She was usually traveling Synprilox, responding to troubles in the palace or attending meetings with either her unit or the Synprilox government. They were lucky if they saw each other during those hours. If they did, they had to keep eye contact to a minimal. They both found themselves betraying their emotions if they did. Otherwise, in the safety of Alyssa's home, they hid behind the trees._

 _Actually, Kirk noted that she remained away from the marbled mansion as much as she could. The reason why did not matter much to him. All that he cared for was that they were together at the end of the night and woke up in the morning. It was what he looked forward to the most. They were times of opening up and talking about who they were. It made him fall in love with Alyssa all the more._

 _In his discoveries, he found what made Kurt Hemmingway mad and lenient at the same time with the black-haired beauty. Alyssa was extremely intelligent and cunning and very kind and generous, but she was also mischievous and sometimes dramatic. She was overly anxious inwardly and outwardly calm all at once and tried to control them by remaining in a state of calm. A contradiction of emotions meshed inside of her, all of it the aftermath of the long-term abuse suffered in the various stages of her life. Synprilox was another one._

" _Breath in and out," he cautioned her. "One day at a time. One problem at a time."_

 _It was the best advice he could give her. Since Kurt had tougher methods to deal with Alyssa's stress and panic attacks, she never recovered. With so much that happened in-between, she did not have an outlet. Kirk considered it a saving grace that Alyssa trusted him and allowed herself the luxury of falling apart in front of him. It meant that she could grow and that meant being a better Starfleet officer. He wished that for her too._

 _As Kirk laid next to Alyssa one night, he had to think about the overall situation, between his mission and his life. Yes, things had improved on Synprilox and he was no longer molested. However, there will always be those who disagree and argue with the changes. An idea carried a lot of weight. It can spread from one mind to another and never die. Kirk had seen how easy it was to do on Synprilox. The world was large, but it also carried a variety of political and social views that carried to Keplar III. However, its counterpart also worked in better harmony because of the tragedy most suffered under. They learned the old lessons and sought to create something new._

 _As for Starfleet…well, Kirk was a career man after all. It would be difficult to explain this to Lori for one thing if she found out and he decided to avoid that at all costs. She was playing a game of love with him and he avoided it. Now, leading Lori on seemed to Kirk the most logical conclusion. She wasn't going to take no for an answer and will be hurt that her subordinate stole his heart._

 _The other was that Starfleet made a grave mistake with Alyssa. From what the admiral had been able to discern, she was exiled on Synprilox. It was a taboo subject that they did not want to acknowledge. She had many enemies in and out of the Fleet because of her report to Admiral Uriah, he knew. What anyone could use against them could be catastrophic. Knowing that Alyssa was from the twentieth century could destroy Starfleet and it will be blamed on her. He wanted to do everything in his power to protect this woman and her family, no matter the cost to them._

 _Eventually, Alyssa stirred, almost sensing Kirk's misery. She rolled over and wrapped her arms around him. "What are you thinking about?" she asked dreamily._

" _Many things," he replied vaguely. He wasn't ready to be specific. "Leaving Synprilox like this," he admitted._

 _The security officer was more alert with the comments. "If anything, live in the present. Don't think about our future for now. There's always another day."_

" _Easy for you to say."_

" _It's not easy for me either. I am dreading these things too."_

" _Oh?" Kirk easily pulled Alyssa on top of him. He covered them with a blanket when he felt Alyssa's clammy skin._

 _She giggled. It dispelled some of the foul mood. "Well, happiness and love are always fleeting. The good can only last so long. It's something best to hold onto it when you have it. In the future, you might not have it."_

" _You seem very wise for one who leans on another heavily."_

" _Well, it's a new mantra I am trying out."_

" _I think it's a good one." He kissed her._

" _I am preparing myself," Alyssa continued. She turned grave, working out something and refusing to mention it. She tried another route. "Jim, there's only so much time we have together too. I can't take advantage of it. It's one day at a time, one problem at a time, you said. This is something that's bothering you too, isn't it? It's not just Synprilox, is it?"_

 _Kirk cursed himself for being so obvious. "You're very perceptive."_

" _Comes with the job. Besides, we said we'd work out something later. I can deal with Admiral Ciana. She isn't that bad."_

" _Haven't you ever thought of the consequences of our actions?"_

" _Everyday." Alyssa was sad about the realization. She shivered._

" _One day at a time," Kirk gently reminded her. "One problem at a time."_

 _Alyssa could not resist. She had to dismiss the melancholy. She pushed the blanket off and reached over for another kiss. Kirk returned it, rolling over for a better angle._


	25. Revelations of Self-Destruction

It felt like he had been out all night with his roommates from the Academy and that Gary had instigated all the way. He recalled the all-nighter and all of the drinking and girls they had encountered along the way. Thinking that he had classes within the hour, Kirk groaned and rolled over. He would have bolted up had not the sickening feeling in his stomach lurched forward. He felt like throwing up.

Contemplating calling out sick, he continued to scheme how he will tell his instructors the reason why he could not make it. His mind went over several excuses before the truth slammed itself in his face. He no longer was a cadet in San Francisco, bucking against structure and rules. He was a real admiral who had been kidnapped by an alien race and was going to witness the destruction of all he held dear.

The admiral stood up suddenly. Overcome by a wave of dizziness, he leaned against a metal wall on one side, shaking and adjusting his blurry vision and the rolling bile in his throat. He didn't know exactly where he was, but if he had to take a guess, he was on someone's ship and in the brig. The room was cold and his entranceway guarded by a sentry outside. Kirk could not see well enough to tell who was there. If he had to logically conclude, it was an armed Thyrian and one unsympathetic to his state.

Indeed, the man outside hardly paid any attention. His head turned slightly in Kirk's general direction. He took out a communicator and spoke in another language, but it was not Standard. From what Kirk could understand by the body gestures, it was to tell someone that he was awake. It was a disconcerting thought.

He rubbed his aching head and gulped down the lump in his throat, pushing himself to be more aware of his surroundings. After a few minutes, his vision cleared, but not the headache and nausea. Cursing himself for being so stupid and trying to bide his time, he checked for any holes in his prison. There were three solid walls and one doorway with a clear yellow force field and nothing more. Kirk did not even have the benefit of food or answers. He would have to wait.

It didn't take too long for a visitor. Ghanstan arrived an hour later, dismissing the guard. He stood on the other side, grinning at Kirk like predator to prey. He said nothing for the moment, placing his hands behind his back. The admiral was not fazed by the motion and kept his weaknesses to himself. He slowly walked towards the force field to face the Thyrian.

"What you have done is an act of war," Kirk declared. "The Federation will hear of this soon."

" _If_ they can regain power," Ghanstan pointed out. "I believe their backup systems and allies will remain… _disoriented_ …for a very long time. They soon will be surrounded. All colonies within this galaxy and the next are a little busy at the moment."

"Why?" the admiral demanded loudly. "What is the meaning of all of this?"

Ghanstan tsked. "Admiral, Admiral, Admiral…when will you learn? At this time, you are no position to negotiate or demand anything. Your beloved Earth and all that you know will be destroyed and you with it. There is nothing you can do to stop us now. You'll just be our greatest prize."

The Honored member ordered the guard to return and left. Kirk was motioned to keep away from the doorway with a weapon that was more threatening than he remembered. He obeyed, raising his hands in surrender and backing away gradually. He eventually hit a wall, slipping into a sitting position in order to gather his thoughts and to recover from the ordeal. He had to do something quickly. If Ghanstan had disabled all points of defense from this end of the galaxy to the next and already had defenses in place to keep others from coming, then there was no way to stop the Thyrians from achieving their goal. Lori had left behind information about a possible galactic war, but not how to stop it. This was only the beginning.

 _And one we should have seen coming years ago. Why wasn't Synprilox investigated?_

Kirk didn't know the Thyrians would start their assault so soon. He also wondered why Lori did not bring this up to someone when she received the information. If Lori had come across something so important as this, she would have brought it to the immediate attention of the proper authorities. Action would have been taken and the Thyrian threat would be vanquished.

He went over it in his mind, piece by piece. Lori could have thought the threat years in the making and decided that there was enough time to counter this act of terrorism. She also would have confined in someone who specialized in securing their sectors. Alyssa most certainly was in contact with her, but she had no power to meet the challenge of defense on her own. Someone else also knew about the information. When it came down to Synprilox and Thyria, there was always selected people who were privy…and one wasn't dead or dying.

One person came to mind. The admiral thought back to his conversations with Admiral Cartwright. Sure, he was interested in Alyssa, Synprilox and the disaster the year before. But he had played too many hands and seemed all over the place. However, this keen interest meant something else. If Kirk thought about it, Cartwright showed in his own way that he had to have been the one person Lori confined in or he was a close second and was taking orders from someone higher up. He most likely was at fault.

 _Alyssa…_

She was somewhere on this vessel. Kirk was sure of it. But the matter of rescue was a moot one. Regret washed over Kirk. What the Thyrians were going to do with her was obvious. She was a survivor of the massacres on Synprilox and was a witness to the atrocities. She was surely going to share the same fate as those before her endured.

What also made it worse were Ryder and Ali. With Alyssa's fate so obvious, the admiral's heart almost stopped thinking of the children. He imagined all sorts of situations. They too were part of this macabre, Ali more so than her brother. Ryder was enrolled in the Academy when he was ten, the youngest Starfleet had despite its rules, and had seen the early onset of attacks Synprilox faced. Ali had lived on Synprilox for most of her life until this past year. She would have as many secrets as Magda and Alyssa did. Because she was more perceptive, she possibly knew just as much as Ryder.

He put his head into his hands to ease some of the ache and to drive back the tears and shuddered. There was no way that this dread would cease. His worst nightmare as a parent had come true. Whatever he and Alyssa agreed to had come to nothing. The information of the innocent was a high price tag. All in the name of revenge was this being handled and their careful planning had come undone. Everything was going to shatter.

The day dragged without incident and he spent what seemed to be a night sleepless, worrying and planning. During that time, when Kirk wasn't focused on his personal problems, he monitored his surroundings to see any chinks in the armor. So far, he found out that the guards were changed every four hours. They always talked for a moment, possibly to check who was who and say a password, before switching positions. They also checked on him every hour or so to ensure that he was still caged.

During that time, Kirk noticed some subtle changes in the mechanics and movement of the vessel. While it seemed like smooth sailing for the most part, he felt the familiar rumblings of a battle around him. Sometimes, the ship lunged one way or another and steadied itself. Other times, he heard the rattling of weapons being fired or phasers hitting them. No major damage had been detected as far as he was aware. The Thyrians seemed to have the upper hand.

Kirk was not given food until morning, when he was beginning to feel his stomach eat itself. There was a small hole in the field that was opened by three guards, just enough to slip the nourishment through. What controlled it was a panel to the right of the doorway. Four buttons had been pressed and another four to lock up the hole.

Maybe around what was an Earth midmorning, the guards' cycle continued as normal. This time, something was odd to the admiral. The person that entered was a little younger than the typical sentries. He also hid his face well, much more so than the others. Passwords were uttered and places were exchanged. As soon as the exiting tired guard's back was turned, his replacement took out a hollowed item and put it to his lips. When he blew, a dart shot out and hit its target. The Thyrian collapsed.

The mask fell and the rescuer was revealed. Ryder rushed to the control pad and keyed in a code. This prompted the force field to open up. Kirk got up and joined him. Quickly, they ran out. Ryder let the admiral to a Transporter Room.

"Report," Kirk demanded.

Ryder was trying to rein in his emotions and spoke stiffly when they arrived. "It's the Thyrians, Admiral. They have attempted to block two galaxies and invade. Luckily, they've somewhat been pushed back, but they're still putting up a good fight. This is the last ship in the immediate quadrant that isn't in battle."

This was somewhat of a relief, Kirk reflected. He needed the whole story though. "How did you escape?"

"Tricked my guards and summoned for help. Assistance was already on its way and heard my signal. Ali and Mom were taken by a separate party. I was ordered to escort you off this vessel."

"How much time do we have before we're discovered?"

"Well, I did set the self-destruct on their bridge to five minutes. That should give us enough time to leave. It'll also damage another one of their ships."

"That's a lot of time to give. You needed time to get everyone off board?"

Ryder grinned, despite himself. "Sir, I thought I was being nice. Besides, it'll be a nice light show. Orders are orders."

Kirk understood and asked nothing else. When they reached the Transporter Room, coordinates had already been set. Ryder calibrated it once more and waved the admiral forward. Kirk climbed the platform with Ryder and waited for them to be beamed to safety.

What they beamed down to was a war zone. Kirk was startled, glancing left and right at what appeared to be Headquarters. It felt a stereotypical scene of an old dystopian novel, if he had to be honest with himself, and it was equally disturbing. Everywhere, emergency personnel moved, either helping the injured, putting out fires or evacuating civilians. Full defense had been initiated. Scores of Starfleet troops were on the move. Most of them found spots to transport themselves to. Others formed lines of defense or were moving civilians to safer locations.

"This way, Admiral!" Ryder pulled on Kirk's arm. Immediately, he guided the admiral through a nearby entranceway, to a bunker below the main building.

Kirk allowed Ryder to guide him blindly. Eventually, he released the hold on him and followed Ryder through the darkened corridors. After a few minutes, the young officer suddenly stopped. Kirk almost ran into him, but managed to stop in time. He watched as Ryder keyed in another code, gaining entry into an office space. Inside the sparsely furnished series of rooms were high-ranking officers and their families. Some had been wounded. Others were making calls.

With a sinking heart, Kirk realized that this was total war. They were fighting an enemy who knew more about them than they did about them. The Thyrians had come prepared to infiltrate and fight to the death.

Ryder ensured that the door was locked behind them. He remained by Kirk's side. The admiral had recovered from his shock by then and was slowly making progress to his first visitor. Cartwright was finalizing an order to a ship when he noticed the pair. He closed the transmission and glared at them with hardly-veiled anger. He barked at everyone to clear the room. When the three were alone, he spoke.

"You _knew_ about this!" Cartwright accused.

Ryder mustered as much respect as he could without childishly denying it. "I had no knowledge of this attack, Sir. I was not privy to any information my mother may have had."

Cartwright did not believe him. "Lieutenant –"

"Lance, he's telling the truth," Kirk interjected. He hoped to defuse the escalation before they were known into another brig. "Nobody did."

"You're lying, Jim. You and Captain Elma knew that the Thyrians were capable of this type of destruction!"

"Even if we did, if we said anything, would anybody believe us? Would _you_?"

Cartwright took a deep breath and calmed himself. "No, I suppose not. The Thyrians came in peace."

"But you knew about it yourself. You knew about the possible attack." Kirk warmed up to the theme. He didn't know what he was saying and continued his rant. "You worked with Admiral Ciana. You were also part of the special task force. You used Captain Elma as your double agent as well and hid her activities through a promotion she did not want. The two of you pretended that there was suspicion of treason. You _both_ are trying to find out the final piece of the puzzle and wanted Synprilox tamed…Sir."

"She agreed to take the fall," Cartwright protested weakly, losing his bluster. He was visibly shaking. "Captain Elma was protesting our interests. Admiral Ciana and I did not mean to make her a scapegoat, but she rose to it for the betterment of the many. She knew her duties."

"And who else's life did you destroy other than hers? Her children's? Most certainly, she had to risk her life time and again for your needs. Her son and daughter are targets of assassination!"

"She won't need to worry about it anymore, Sir," Ryder said. He was upset now. "Admiral Kirk, it's about…my…my mother. She's in Sickbay. She's on life support now."

~00~

 _A week of busy activities later, Kirk found himself awake in a deserted house. Alyssa had long left the bed before he woke. Dawn was starting to break and he had nothing on his schedule except a late dinner with the chancellor for some of their holiday celebrations. After his guards had already come in and out to ensure no threat, the admiral still felt quite exposed. He never had to experience such silence before._

 _He rose and dressed. When he exited his room, he saw some movement. Dismissing it as trivial, Kirk made his way downstairs to the kitchen. Breakfast had been left for him on a counter. Sensing a warm day, he took the tray and trekked outside, finding shade under Ryder's treehouse. He found his usual seat and ate._

 _An hour later, Alyssa arrived back home. It was an unusual occurrence. Kirk heard her rummage through the house for something before meeting him in the backyard and sitting in the opposite chair. He was startled to see her. Her normally short black hair was askew and frizzy. She was pale and very ill, more so than usual. She clenched her hands tightly, anxious._

 _Kirk reached over and held her hand. "You want to talk about it?"_

" _No." Alyssa shook her head. She hesitated in continuing. "No. Not right now anyway. When we have a quieter moment, we will."_

 _This answer didn't sit well with Kirk. He thought that he managed to get her talking about anything. This new Alyssa was a little strange. He had not seen her like this before. Besides, they had a quiet moment now. Why shouldn't she say anything? What was so serious that they had to wait for another time?_

" _I told Magda to go on vacation," Alyssa chatted inanely. She refused to note Kirk's askew glance. "I have Ryder for the week she's gone."_

" _Where is he?" Kirk half-expected the five-year-old to dart out and play in his treehouse._

" _Schoolwork now," Alyssa replied. "He came with me to my…my morning assignment. I only have a few more minutes before his finishes his work. Magda left me her lesson plans. It's going to be a busy week."_

 _Kirk understood now. This was no quiet time. This week, Alyssa was fulfilling her role as a mother and it as a tough one already. Without Magda, he wondered how she would fare. He also felt a little selfish too. He always loved it when Ryder pretended to be a Starfleet officer and imagine all sorts of space adventures, but he also longed for his time alone with Alyssa. If this meant that the security officer was domestic while her nursemaid was on break, then so be it. Kirk did not like the idea, but he knew that accepting her meant a family as well._

 _He nodded evenly. "How about tonight?"_

" _I have a meeting with the chancellor within the hour until the party starts and then I'm staying for the festivities," Alyssa said sadly. "I know you have dinner with her too. Do you want to meet afterward? We can walk home together. Maybe we talk then."_

" _And Ryder? Is he coming with us?"_

" _When Magda isn't here to watch him, he comes with me. The chancellor was kind enough to set aside a room and a matron to watch him when I am on duty. If she isn't busy, she'll sit with him and lecture him about some topic. I also check in on him when I can."_

" _Do you know anything about what this dinner is about?"_

" _You're the only Starfleet brass to be present." Alyssa grinned, trying hard to suppress some bitter joke. "Other leaders who are allies with Synprilox, Federation or not, will be there as well. It's sort of a religious ceremony akin to the old holiday of Halloween or the Day of the Dead, if I had to name it. It's to celebrate the deceased."_

 _Kirk shuddered involuntarily. "Really?"_

" _Synprilox isn't set on a specific religion, but they do respect and revere their ancestors," Alyssa clarified. "From what I understand, it's a masked parade that turned into a ball at the palace. Other world leaders aren't the only important people there. Community heads are invited to represent their region too. Others are to tend to the cemeteries."_

" _Don't you find it a little ghoulish?"_

" _To be honest, yes, I do. For Synprilox, it is not. It's their tradition. Besides, it's sort of a break for everyone, from factory workers to farmers. They won't complain about an additional two days off."_

" _On Earth, most people do not follow along with any religious or political holidays and superstitions anymore. Some major ones are observed. The Fourth of July comes to mind."_

 _Alyssa said nothing. Remembering those special days had been oddly hurtful. Her parents always forced her to observe their religious days. Her aunt and her brother had been able to take her away from that and show her more than what her Lutheran parents were able to. Those memories almost blinded her vision with tears. She held back though. Being in her state of mind was no excuse to cry._

" _Tolerance is something I'm sure they taught you in the Academy," Alyssa said. "No matter what we think of tonight, I find this an excuse to wind down too. I've been this particular holiday. It can be pretty fun if you take away the visits to the cemeteries."_

 _Kirk found it off that Alyssa mentioned the basic rule in Starfleet. Shrugging it off due to exhaustion (he knew how hard Alyssa worked, especially lately), he continued to engage more details about this dinner later that night. All the while, as the security described years past, he wondered what sort of thing Alyssa needed to tell him. It had been easy for her to discuss everything else. Why was today so different? What was so important?_

 _After a few minutes of this inane conversation, Alyssa excused herself. She had exceeded her time away from Ryder and already heard some crashing in the kitchen. She dashed off, her fingers lingering against Kirk's before slipping away. She promised on her way back that she'll return around lunchtime. They can have their mean together._

 _Kirk was curious. He hoped that whatever she had to say, it was worth the wait for whatever time she chose. He had patience. Tonight should prove interesting and it wasn't just the customs Synprilox followed. It was also the mystery he hoped to solve._


	26. Stepping in Tune

The bunker was supposed to his home and office for the time being, since he was an important officer that could not be spared on a starship. Kirk did not care. His mind whirled around a million different situations. Ryder's revelation had punched him hard in the stomach. He was floored, unable to function like he was supposed to, and only obeyed orders or listened to side conversation without meaning. He carried on, he supposed, but did not feel that he had much heart. Everything seemed to have gone over his head.

He managed to get Ryder exempt from his duties. Without the Thyrians to escort, there wasn't much to do except explain to his captain that his original plans to take time off should be implemented. After dealing with _that_ captain, he settled into a sparse space assigned to him and three other high-ranking officers. He did not see Riley yet, but he was sure that the aide will be along shortly after finding an excuse to escape Sickbay. Kirk was sure that Riley wasn't going to leave him alone for more than he needed to.

What was worse than waiting for Riley was daring himself to keep away from Sickbay. As Kirk went through the motions of preparing for war with his fellow officers who included him on the plans, his mind kept going back to Alyssa and her chances for survival. Just when he thought they had some time together before she died, fate had other plans and took her away faster. That alone burned inside of him fiercely. Life support wasn't something Alyssa was going to agree to. Kirk was sure she wanted McCoy to pull the plug and declare her dead.

Jason Lattimer had mentioned that there was a cure. The Thyrians held it hostage though and that was what bothered Kirk the more than anything else. They held the key to salvation for the innocent people they contaminated. The only way that they can retrieve this antidote was to conquer the dominating race themselves through battle.

Kirk had his ideas about the matter. That was to ponder for later though. He still had one more task to complete before making his move. Alyssa might not be able to be live on, but there were millions more like her that could be. He had to attempt to save them.

The meeting ended. Without a clear solution in sight, the officers decided to take a recess and bring their ideas to Starfleet council when they were called upon. Kirk opted to remain behind in the shared office and was relieved to be alone. Taking a deep breath and exhaling it, he played with the key in his pocket. Alyssa made him promise to do open a box in her bedroom to unlock a secret in case of an emergency. Her death was near. It was time to act upon her wishes.

Kirk waited until the office and hallways were completely clear before calling for Ryder, hoping that he would join him. He waited patiently for the young junior officer to appear. However, Riley arrived instead. He was none the worse for wear, Kirk thought, but the aide was pretty tired. He sighed when he saw the admiral in his agitated state, approaching carefully. The two had been through an ordeal. It was best to remain calm.

"Admiral Cartwright informed me that you requested Lieutenant Elma's presence," Riley began.

Kirk wondering what Cartwright was planning now and sighed. "I wanted the lieutenant, not a lecture from a messenger, Riley. What does Admiral Cartwright want?"

Riley blinked twice before realizing that he had to answer. Kirk's brazenness fazed him. "He is keeping Lieutenant Elma in secured quarters, Sir. He ordered him to remain with his family."

For the moment, Kirk wasn't going to counter anything Cartwright ordered. If he wanted to play this game, then so be it. Kirk had plans to go Alyssa's apartment anyway. He will have to bring along another companion if Ryder could not be spared. The way things were going though, it might have to be Riley or McCoy, if the latter was nearby. Kirk wondered if there was a possibility that the doctor could be spared and doubted it.

Riley did not notice this internal debate. He droned on about the state of affairs above their heads, the newly declared conflict against Thyria and what it means for the Federation to have been stabbed in the back. Kirk listened without interest. He paid more attention to Riley's merits as a partner-in-crime than anything else. Riley was privy to many of Kirk's secrets, almost as much as McCoy, and seemed to keep his mouth shut for the most part.

 _What was one more?_

"Admiral, do you understand?" Riley finished, peering into Kirk's eyes to see if there was any comprehension.

"I am not a child that needs to be disciplined," the admiral reminded him. "I do understand the regulations and orders. I cannot abide by them though."

Riley sputtered something akin to outrage before recovering himself. "Sir, we are under a state of emergency. All major cities have reported attacks, this one most of all. We are barely holding on. You have a procedure that requires signing documents, regulations to follow."

"And I have more important tasks to complete before somebody needs my signature. At this point, I'm here to stand and nod. Starfleet does not require me. I am not the man for the job at hand. Not now, at least."

"But, Sir, Admiral Cartwright just said –"

"Damn what he says!" Kirk stood up. "He's been a part of this conspiracy that has kept us on the edge of war. Who knows how and why the Thyrians were able to get past this and pretend peace."

Riley had never seen the admiral so angry before. He sought to calm him. "Do you have anything else in mind, Admiral?"

"Just leaving," Kirk simply replied. "You can come with me or stay here."

"Sir, you aren't cleared to leave."

"I have a promise to keep. That means more to me than regulations right now."

Kirk got up and grabbed his jacket anyway, walking past dignitaries, guards and other workers to escape his underground prison. Behind him, Riley argued. It worked to his advantage and could not have worked out better. Without Riley realizing it, the two were outside and indifferent to the catastrophe around them. Kirk walked in directions that helped them to avoid necessary personnel so that Riley continued his trek from the rear and distracted himself. It was a long zigzagging process.

By the time he reached Alyssa's apartment building some minutes later, Riley realized what happened. He crept behind the admiral and followed closely behind him. Kirk had a hard time getting past the computer building security due to the attack and had to punch the keypad to pieces before the doors swung open. The alarm system luckily didn't work. The place had been ransacked recently.

"You did this on purpose," Riley accused. "Sir," he added as an afterthought.

"Not exactly," Kirk admitted. He gingerly stepped inside, crunching glass underneath his boots. He used his jacket sleeve to stem the blood from his knuckles. "It worked out pretty well, don't you think?"

Riley advanced ahead and tried the turbolift. "It's not working."

The aide looked around the foyer for a minute before finding a side door. He had to push it aside with a strong force before it budged. He checked the inside and the immediate stairwell before he allowed the admiral through. Kirk was amazed that the aide thought of a manual way. Every off base housing was supposed to have a set of stairs. Lessons had been learned in the distant past reminded them to never rely solely on modern technology.

Kirk remembered that Alyssa's abode was on the fourth floor. It was a tough climb without the lift, he had to confess, and made worse because he was desk-bound for many years. Riley was no better. The two breathed heavily as they ascended, stopping frequently to double over before continuing. Outside the cold corridors, they felt the foundations and walls shaking. The Thyrians were taking a second shot.

When they reached the designated floor, Riley again had to force the entryway open. They followed the small hallway and soon found themselves in front of Alyssa's door. This too had been locked. Kirk hardly recalled her security code, keying in a combination he dimly remembered from Synprilox. After a few awkward tries made by his slippery bloody fingers, the door slid opened slowly and stopped in the middle. The admiral shoved it to one side.

Everything remained the same. Luckily, nothing much had been tampered with. Riley and Kirk entered carefully and scanned the immediate area. The admiral moved through the living room and into the adjacent hallway. His steps echoed loudly as he checked each bedroom to see which one was Alyssa's personal space. Riley remained behind to keep watch.

The first he entered was obviously Ali's. The small bed and random messes on the floor indicated as much. Kirk studied it for a moment and wondered if he could find out more information about his daughter this way. He stepped in and scanned the darkened room. Other than a child's spills, there was a dresser, a desk with a chair, a computer and a few pictures on the walls. There wasn't much else. They were general details could have described any eleven-year-old.

Slightly disappointed, Kirk moved on. The next room (which was more like a closet really) yielded nothing more than sparse furnishings. He deduced it to be Magda's space. The one after that was empty and only had a few items in there (Ryder's if he was home, most likely). The last would be Alyssa's room then. He managed to slip in and ordered the lights on.

While this too yielded the same genetic material in Ali's room, there were some individualistic points that Kirk noted. A few pictures on the wall indicated her frequent travels on Synprilox and Earth. There was some of her past and present life and some private events that she did not like sharing with others, not even with him. A lot of them were of Ryder and Ali. One of them was her wedding to Kurt Hemmingway. Another had been of her and Kirk, long before Ali was born.

It was another punch to the stomach. The admiral gulped. He lifted it from its spot, his eyes glossing the frozen moment in time. Yes, they had been deeply in love. That had never ended when they separated. It seemed to have deepened and was gone in a flash.

Believing time to be short, Kirk put the photo down in its original place. He had to search for the item that Alyssa described. He knew that she did not make it easy. Going through drawers and her closet was revealed nothing and seemed too obvious, even for her. There was a secret spot somewhere. He had to work for it.

The admiral slid his fingers through every nook and cranny he found. Immediately, he did not find anything. Then, he began moving furniture. When he moved her dresser, grunting as he did, he found a few odd floorboards underneath. He kneeled and studied them. There was a pattern to open them, he found out quickly. Each one lit up with a different color and played a tune. When it paused, Kirk moved fast to copy it. After a few minutes of playing the game, a small doorway opened. In the hole was the cedar box.

He grabbed it before the floor closed up again. The cedar box was heavy and covered in heavy dust. Kirk blew on the top and sides. He took the key from his pocket and inserted it in the front hole he found, turning it. It clicked neatly.

Awed, Kirk sat on Alyssa's bed, fingering the prize in his hands. He wasn't sure what he was going to find. Alyssa could have left him anything. But he knew that the only way to find out was to take the plunge. That was had what defined their relationship – chances and living in the moment. This was no different.

Sighing, he pulled the key out and opened the small container.

~00~

 _Alyssa had already gone ahead and settled Ryder at the palace by the time Kirk showed up with his guards. Immediately, they were escorted by the servants to the main dining hall. There, with his shadows nearby, he was seated amongst the other dignitaries. He found out by introductory conversations that some had been from nearby planets and were visiting for the first time. Others had traveled far and were utterly interested by this isolated planet. All had been fascinated by the customs of Synprilox and sought to work out the mechanics of this first public affair._

 _Through the small holes of his mask, Kirk also observed the celebrations too. He found it akin to other parties he attended throughout the last three and a half months, but with a little twist. He studied around the dining area and noticed that the so-called priests and priestesses were in attendance. While not very religious, he remembered that Synprilox used these people more for comfort than for guidance. The only time they would be used for directing is when one was near death._

 _Since this was a ritual for the celebration of death, Kirk did not find it surprising that these people were here. However, something crept up on him unexpectedly. The images of an execution from five years ago came back to him. It was a strange ceremony, Kirk recalled, when he pushed away the pictures of decapitated bodies. These spiritual mortals offered no comfort to the dying then. He could not imagine them doing the same now._

 _A call for a dance broke the reverie. Kirk politely declined every offer. He remained at his table and took off his mask when it was appropriate (usually, when he had to speak with a leader of another planet). He was also too hot and didn't think dancing would help him._

 _His eyes wondered instead to those who took the floor. He watched them carefully, aching to pinpoint the security officer he missed terribly. It was not wise to search her out, but in this night of disguises, he did not care because nobody would know who was who anyway. He replaced his mask to keep up this pretense. Excluding those who reached out to him, mobody really knew it was him anyway._

 _After a few minutes, grew bored of this. He was going to give up on locating Alyssa when he saw something shadowy in a corner – a covered female inching out the back door. Kirk knew that it was the security officer. Ordering his guards to stay put, he got up from his chair and followed the woman out of the dining hall._

 _There, he saw the mysterious person meet up with an elderly woman. They spoke in hushed tones in the Synprilox language. The older partner pointed to the stairwell and departed company, passing Kirk. The admiral looked the other way and pretended to be doing something else. As soon as the passerby was out of sight, he squinted as the other sprinted up the stairs. He continued his trek and caught up with Alyssa, putting a hand on her wrist._

 _Alyssa knew it was him. "Jim, what are you doing?" she asked softly when her eyes met his. "You're supposed to be dining downstairs."_

" _I was going to ask you the same thing," he replied sheepishly. His smile was lopsided. "Aren't you supposed to be enjoying yourself?"_

" _I'm not the one who is supposed to be with the government big wigs." Alyssa sighed, resigned. "Oh, what the hell? Come on. I'm checking on Ryder."_

 _The music drifted from below. Kirk pulled her the other way. "I was going to ask this lovely lady if she would care for one dance before she visited her son."_

" _One," Alyssa determined. "You promise?"_

" _Would this gentleman tell a lie?" Kirk gripped her hand._

 _Alyssa allowed the admiral to lead her back down to the main floor and hide behind the stairwell. Even though servants milled around them, they were fairly alone as they slowly stepped in time behind the stairs. They only tightened the hold on their masks when some intoxicated groups stumbled out. When the song ended a few minutes later, they separated._

" _I think we should leave," Alyssa said._

 _Kirk agreed and followed her lead. They went to the second floor. They passed through dimmed corridors until they reached a room on the far right, almost in the back of the palace, and pulled off their disguises. Alyssa punched in a code. An affirmative answer was given and the door opened automatically. They entered and it closed behind them._

 _The same woman Kirk saw before was with Ryder, cleaning the room. The young child was sleeping, his toys scattered all over the bed and floor. Alyssa treaded quietly towards her child and brushed aside some of his dark hair. She kissed his forehead gently and backed away. She spoke to the chaperone one more time before returning to Kirk._

 _The admiral watched the scene with awe. Mesmerized, he approached the child as well. He felt himself smile with a sort of fatherly pride. He didn't copy the same endearments as Alyssa had, but he did clear off some items from the bed. Ryder was already tossing and turning._

 _When they left shortly afterward, they found a secluded corner some feet away. They stopped, but did nothing except gaze into each other's eyes. Something had changed between them. Alyssa felt it. Kirk had played with Ryder and never complained about him. He never pushed himself so forward before though. The admiral was now feeling equal responsibility for a child that was not his._

 _And that was going to make leaving so difficult. Alyssa held onto a secret. She was pregnant. Once she told Kirk the news, the departure and their relationship was going to be twice as hard. It wasn't just Kirk's reaction she was dreading. Admiral Ciana would not forgive her for the transgression once she found out the whole truth. It'll pass easily through Starfleet and she'll get over it. Single parents always dotted the Fleet. If no father was listed on a birth certificate, Starfleet never pursued unless someone wanted responsible parties._

 _Personally though, it was a nightmare. This made her heart break more. She reached out to Kirk. He took her into his arms. He had no idea why she was so clingy, but that did not matter. The moment itself was special. They would have few of them left._

 _Soon, they heard footsteps rushing towards them and the security officer's name was being called. Alyssa broke away from Kirk and peeked out to see the trouble. She saw that one of the chancellor's maids was running frantically. She stopped the young girl and demanded an explanation._

 _The maid was terrified and tried catching her breath. "The chancellor, Commander…the chancellor is asking for you."_

" _Why?" Alyssa was offended. She was supposed to watch the guests, not cater to Amelia Synprilox. "What does she need?"_

 _The maid noticed the admiral and stared at him for a moment. She had been so shocked by his presence that she was paralyzed. That was when Alyssa noticed the blood on her dress. Something had happened below. It wasn't the surprise catch that got her so scared._

 _Alyssa grabbed he girl and shook her by the shoulders to get her attention. "What happened?!" she demanded._

 _The maid regained control of herself and gulped. "There's been a killing," she replied. "Two Starfleet guards have been stabbed. The chancellor herself was also targeted."_


	27. Promises to Keep

Kirk was surprised to see what was inside the box. There was a small device, which fit neatly into the palm of his hand. He had never seen the likes of it before. It was cube-shaped, with a small circular indent on the bottom and top. The former felt like a button and the latter was clear, almost like a screen. His reflection shone against the mirrored side.

Underneath, there were old papers and some discs and tapes. The documentation was solid proof of important events. Whatever Alyssa had left in the storage units was another story. What concerned Kirk more were those papers. One of them was a marriage certificate, signed by her and Kurt Hemmingway. It was dated April 29, 2010. Another was Ryder's birth certificate and the amended document from Starfleet. The last was Ali's, which he signed.

Quickly, Kirk folded these away. The other material, he'll review later. The cube was what intrigued him the most. Spock would have called it fascinating. Indeed, it was, but there was something more to it than meets the eye. From the way Alyssa concealed this important information in a trivial item that possibly held it all, the process was all and all more than that. It was interesting.

Riley found Kirk. He stood in the doorway with hesitation. "Sir, we should be going back. The fighting is beginning again."

"Not yet." Kirk put the box down and looked at the downside of the device.

"Admiral, somebody is bound to find us missing. It's against regulations unless we have security clearance."

"I think we have enough reason to be here."

Riley joined Kirk on the bed. "Sir, you've told me the history of Synprilox you knew. There's been mention that Thyria has been the cause of its demise. You also said you've had an affair with Captain Elma. What does being here have to do with the situation at hand?"

"Because Captain Elma left me things." Kirk showed him the cube and allowed him to take it into his hands. "What do you think of it, Riley?"

"It might be one of those old recorders," he replied. Now, he was intrigued. "They were pretty common maybe twenty, thirty years ago. If someone was stationed in a remote location, Starfleet required them to tape their will. Their official copy on this was then submitted to the central files. Another would be with the officer or with the closest of kin."

"Could there be anything else added to them?"

"Well, Admiral, there was infinite space on them. Sometimes, personnel also recorded their surroundings for future reference. Starfleet regulations specify that anything of value be placed in a secured location anyway. Others kept it like a diary, like a captain's log."

Above them, the lights flickered. The building shook. Kirk knew that it was a big indicator that they should get out as quickly as they could. But his time here was a luxury he could not afford to lose. This was the only chance he had to watch this recording. Alyssa had entrusted him with it for a reason. It might also help them later.

"Can you play it?" Kirk asked Riley.

"There might be some private information in there," Riley warned. He heard enough of the relationship between the two and did not want to stomp into Kirk's personal life. "Are you sure you want me in here to hear it?"

"You've come with me this far, Riley. I trust you."

The comment was enough motivation. Riley beamed with pride. With confidence, he played with the bottom circle. He spun it a few degrees clockwise and counterclockwise until it clicked and disappeared into the cube. The aide then placed it on the floor. The clear top popped up like a cone and focused on a holographic image. At first, it was blurry, but when it began clearing, Kirk recognized the location.

 _Synprilox!_

He was devastated by what he saw. What he recalled was a thriving world. The Synprilox before him lost its vigor. The land was barren, salted by war. Bodies littered the pathways and streets, from the young to the old. The artificial weather system no longer existed. The skies displayed the usual cover, but the only prominence was the dome that covered the planet. Cracks were large and leaking grey water.

No longer were there markets screaming their fares. The farmers did not have fertile soil to cultivate. Children did not run in groups to jump and play. Synprilox was a dead planet.

The view moved through a few angles of the same tragedies until Riley and Kirk were able to see a full picture of the situation. But something jolted the two from the reverie. When a voice started the narration, Kirk almost jumped out of his seat. It was Alyssa!

She spoke a few words that sounded muffled before she apologized. "Jim – Jim, I hope you can hear me. I don't know if you'll see this or be able to bring this to the attention of the true authorities of the Federation. I don't know if I will survive or not –"

The picture cut out and was soon full of static. After a minute, it adjusted. Alyssa kneeled and played with the camera so that it better took in the commentary. Her movement indicated that time was of the essence. It was frantic and desperate. Without realizing it, Kirk's hands shook from nervous energy. He stilled them and chided himself. This must have been a year or two before. There was nothing to fear now.

"I told you years ago that Synprilox was under civil war," Alyssa continued. She stood up, upset. The audio and visual was slightly better, but it was still fuzzy. "They also looked for an enemy that nobody could find. Unity against this people and the defenses you implemented abated the fighting for a while, Jim. You _helped_. It was because of you that Synprilox survived a little longer. But even its own people were going to take so much before they became so selfish.

"Starfleet is aware that there have been skirmishes between us, people from other worlds and the civilians of this planet. But that's only the beginning. Efforts to make Synprilox a flourishing member of the Federation have been grounded at this point. You and I both know that the Federation had plans for Synprilox. It wasn't just that it was a dangerous place. It could have been the most functioning of all the planets. It was pure and simple greed, Jim, and no compromise in the middle.

"But that did not matter to us to begin with, Jim. Our lives together were more important. We could have stayed together and worked it out in the end. But to what end? That you would have to worry daily? That somebody would see the daughter of a celebrated officer and kidnap her? That anybody that saw my file would use Ryder against me? No. Cutting ties had been the best decision we made, even if it was painful. And all you need to know is that – that I kept my end of the bargain. I did all I could to keep Ryder and Ali safe. I don't know for how much longer though. I ask for your forgiveness.

"You probably know that Ryder is on Earth, attending the Academy. He is in safe hands. Ali and Magda have been signaling for a rescue ship. They are in our shelter. The house is destroyed. Our belongings have been sent to Kepler III by a freighter already. Starfleet vessels have been here, or so I was told. There should be one nearby. I wouldn't think you'd order them away. You never did."

Alyssa again asked exoneration for missing information and explained what happened in the ten years that Kirk had last been there. Tensions had eased slightly. Synprilox reached far and adored its new freedoms within the boundaries given to them. Starfleet and the Federation had lessened their hold because Admiral Ciana found holes in the agreements and dismissed those who had negative interests in the planet. She too began the long process of making this friendship a stronger one.

On Synprilox, Alyssa continued to inform Admiral Ciana of how unfair it was that Synprilox was placed in a position where they so unjustly treated. They were not criminals and only required protection. She monitored the situation with the radiation and continued to evacuating those interested. She also continued her role as the double agent and found out more than she cared to.

It was not the chancellor who was in control anymore. It was the Freedom Riders. The council had ties with the unknown enemy who was destroying them and pretended that it was Amelia Synprilox's fault. While she could not fault the Freedom Riders' actions because of the iniquitous treatment from the Federation, she could not side with them on their double-crossing. They had allowed the citizens to believe the worst in the wrong party and take the blame off of them. They also discreetly put Starfleet in the spotlight and painted them as the instigators of the war above their heads.

"And being placed as the wronged party made it worse," Alyssa continued. She sat down on the ground, exhausted. "It always did. Synprilox is one of ten worlds that are named by the Federation as hazardous. As such, they assign Starfleet security officers to keep order and to monitor the politics. In exchange, they enjoy the benefits of being part of a union. This is only a step closer to quarantine and severance.

"Synprilox is a prideful planet. These people are not used to being so tamed and are used to listening to those who seemed to have their interests in mind. They've also had centuries of habits – electing, tolerating and poisoning. The cycle had been broke, but it was at a high price. Once they realized that there was a better future, they took it without seeing the consequences. Eventually, the Federation tightened their leash once Admiral Ciana lost her hold….and she did eventually, when people above her head demanded her intervention to cease. Civil war picked up once more."

And that was when Alyssa detailed the atrocious events Synprilox endured. The Freedom Riders oust the chancellor and took control of Synprilox. Amelia Synprilox soon found herself homeless and without a way to support herself or service Synprilox. Used as a scapegoat, a ransom was placed on her capture. She went into hiding, seeking refuge with Starfleet and the Federation. Unfortunately, the Freedom Riders had been the recognized legitimate government and this was denied.

Alyssa was not able to help her friend. This too was another tragedy. Her services were now rendered to a group who used and abused her and her men. But she knew what the chancellor was up to. Amelia continued to attempt to rally support without her former contacts. She managed to form a following and continued her assault against her old advisers.

With so much in propaganda and rumor, Synprilox's people were fighting the fabric of their economic and social structure. Factory workers went on strike when their precious metals no longer went to non-violent products and were sold on the market for officials' greed. Municipal forces found their loyalties questioned and interrogations daily. Collective farmers soon saw their lives lost and their families compensating for a lack of crop through slave work. The marketplace's prices soars and people starved. Wages took a dive. The gap between economic classes grew.

What was worse were the Starfleet officers left behind. Without clear orders or a way to escape, each one fell one by one. It was through illness, war, the radiation, civil violence or execution that they all died. Only few had survived with Alyssa at that point and all of them had been contaminated with the radiation.

After Admiral Ciana's death in 2279, Cartwright took the helm and it worsened. Reports filtered back and forth with any more instructions. The minimal amount of work was put into their situation and silence was maintained. Eventually, Alyssa took matters into her own hands and reported Cartwright for negligence and prepared for her departure.

"But I don't think I will be able to," she concluded sadly. "Jim, nobody is still answering our calls for help. The freighter that took our belongings has not returned. I hope they were not destroyed because of our plea for help."

This was when Alyssa transformed. She no longer was no the security officer who had to use her strength and cunning anymore. This was now a scared woman and a mother that desired her child to be safe. Kirk saw the twinkle of tears in her eyes. While she wanted to live, Alyssa needed Ali to be rescued and to be there for her. There was no mistaking that emotion.

"This shall be my final will and testament," Alyssa said breathlessly. She struggled to speak. "I, Lieutenant Commander Alyssa Helene Elma, being of sound mind and body, appoint Rear Admiral James T. Kirk the holder of my estate. I leave him custody of our daughter, Alice Wionna Elma, and my son, Ryder Gregory Elma. Any of my material belongings he can disperse with as he pleases."

Suddenly, the transmission ceased and the picture was gone. Riley picked up the cube from the floor and gave it to Kirk. Some of what he heard was very personal. Bits of it he wasn't so surprised about. From what the admiral had explained, his relationship with Alyssa developed so quickly, but there wasn't much of a chance for it to continue. Time, career and political circumstances worked against them.

On the other hand, the admiral never mentioned that Ali was his daughter. Riley could tell that Kirk wasn't being kept in the dark about it. There was no outrage when Alyssa mentioned it. But it also changed a lot of things and all of it controversial.

"Sir –" Riley ventured.

"Not now," Kirk interrupted.

"Admiral, we need to leave, whether or not you want to. It's no longer safe here. You kept your promise. We can return."

"Not yet."

Riley wanted to rip his hair out. "Admiral, _please_. We need to go back."

Kirk was deep in thought. There was something more than this cedar box that Alyssa hid. She said that she transferred her belongings to Kepler III. It wasn't just trivial items from her home. She wouldn't mention them without reason. What were they?

It is well known within Alyssa's inner circle that she was quick enough to keep her secrets out of sight and mind. She always had an ace of spades up her sleeve. Kepler III held the rest of their answers. Kirk had to get there somehow. He knew that he could not reach it if Cartwright could help it. He would have to use other means.

Kirk rose, picking everything up. "Are the space docks still closed?"

"Nobody is allowed in and out, per Captain Elma's orders," Riley clarified. "Her second-in-command retained the order."

The admiral nodded evenly. "This can wait. We have another assignment."

Riley had an idea. Bits and pieces of the mystery came together and pointed to one person. This wasn't about Alyssa Elma or Lori Ciana anymore. Kirk was now looking at Admiral Cartwright.

"What are we doing?" Riley asked. He followed the admiral out of the bedroom.

"We wait and see," Kirk said. "There will be an opportunity. Then, we move to the next item on the list."

Riley nodded in agreement. He and Kirk continued their trek through and out of the apartment. It was trickier returning to the bunker though. Security frisked them and allowed them in. Instead of going back to the office though, they were escorted to Sickbay. Kirk saw McCoy there with Ryder and Ali and started for them, but someone stopped him.

Cartwright pointed to the material in Kirk's hands. "Been busy disobeying general orders?"

Kirk blinked. "I don't know, Lance," he said without missing a beat. "At least I wasn't busy condemning Starfleet officers to death."

~00~

 _It was a nightmare. Alyssa surveyed the crime scene from afar. She calculated in her mind her next move based on the information she was given. From what witnesses have stated, there were three male guests who randomly attacked. They were supposedly part of the delegations that came to Synprilox. She didn't have a list of which party they came with, but she was going to track them down. They may be gone, but they were being searched for by her men._

 _She knew that there was no excuse for the incident. It happened under her watch and she was going to pay for the consequences. Alyssa dreaded making the call to Earth and mentally beat herself up for being so anxious. Admiral Ciana will surely conduct disciplinary action, perhaps exiling her to Synprilox for the rest of her life instead of the nameless years, and that was never a bad thing. Alyssa never minded living on Synprilox._

 _The security officer closed her eyes. There, in the darkness of her sight, she worked out the first act. She recalled dozens and dozens of faceless people walking in, greeting each other and congregating in their respective corners. Then, they moved to their tables and were seated by the servants. Masks were placed on their faces and the festivities began._

 _The second act was dinner, the climax. Hundreds of platters graced each setting. Candles were lit. The atmosphere was light and cheery. Alyssa thought it too positive for a night celebrating the dead, but she paid no heed to her personal feelings. She only recalled how, when the food was served, some people had decided to get up and call for dancing. That wasn't traditional, but not all races could sit for long periods of time. The chancellor accepted that and gave some leeway._

 _Then, there was the third act. While she was away, delegating her attention elsewhere, another force moved in. Just as she and Kirk conducted their affair, the three men chose their target…and Kirk's men paid the price. They aimed for the chancellor. Her bodyguards were nowhere nearby, so the Starfleet officers took the lead. That was their fatal mistake._

 _And now, this was the finale. Alyssa opened her eyes. She was called down to investigate. The scene before her was a mess, even cleared of people. She bit down the bile in her throat. Two bodies and both brutally stabbed. It was a tragedy._

 _Kirk crept up from behind slowly and put a hand on Alyssa's shoulder. He too had watched everything from afar and thought her very distant. "Commander?"_

 _She whirled around quickly and pushed his hand off of her. "Yes, Admiral?"_

" _Do you have any additional information concerning this matter?" he asked formally._

" _None, Sir, but we do not have all of it yet. My men are still searching for the suspects. This place has been locked down and all guests are being patted down before departure. They each will have a guard. Reinforcements have been called for."_

" _Do you have my replacements, Commander?"_

" _No, Sir. Not yet anyway. Starfleet will be sending them shortly. For the time being, as the highest ranking officer, I will be your guard."_

 _Kirk tried not to show his discomfort. "On whose authority?"_

" _Mine," Alyssa answered coldly. "If there is a state of emergency, ranking officers are to take on the role of bodyguard. I have someone to take my place. He knows the affairs of Synprilox and Kepler III as well as I do."_

 _The admiral knew that she was right. He faced her stoically. "Is there any place we can keep low?"_

" _We cannot return to the Starfleet neighborhood," Alyssa said. "That area has not been cleared. For the time being, we are guests of Chancellor Synprilox and the Freedom Riders. Our rooms are on the third floor. I will be sleeping at the foot of your bed."_

 _This was almost like a dream come true. Kirk knew it was supposed to be a professional stance. Their nights will pass like any other though. They would have to be quieter about their transgressions and watch out for the servants. It was just going to be tougher being in closer quarters._

 _Alyssa was thinking the same thing. "Ryder is currently locked in his room and monitored by his matron. I need to look for Magda. Will you care to join me, Admiral?"_

 _The answer came easily. Kirk nodded. "Wouldn't it be against regulations?"_

" _None of them said that an admiral can't join his sentry in a search."_

 _He agreed. After Alyssa called over some of her men to watch the area, they left the palace. They kept at a distance to deter suspicion and continued their trek. Alyssa seemed to have an idea where Magda was. She followed the roads out to the borders of the next town and stopped near a gated community. The lighting was dim here._

 _Kirk soon recognized this as a cemetery. Cautious, he opened the metal doorway for Alyssa and allowed her in to check the perimeter. The hinges squealed in protest as she eyed the small area carefully. The coast was clear save for a few mourners without candles. She signaled him in._

 _Alyssa walked through different rows, avoiding the overgrown sites and the visitors to the dead, until she reached a remote corner. This was blocked off by another gate. She opened it, peeking in. Inside, there were many headstones. All of them were simply stone circles in the barren ground, without grass or flowers, and bore names and dates alone._

 _This seemed to be a section unlike any other Kirk had seen though. To him, it seemed to be a place of shame. The rest of the burial grounds showed life after death and were alive with each person's memories. This part was like a dark smear on the rest of the race itself, a Christian sin almost. He could not figure out why it had to be isolated from the rest._

 _The pair slowly walked forward. There, they saw a lone figure standing before three resting places. Kirk thought the figure familiar and approached on his own. He waved Alyssa away to get a closer glance at the graves. When he saw the name in the dimness, he had to blink a few times to believe it._

Mycoff!

 _With a sickening feeling in his stomach, Kirk realized that Magda was related to the rebels of Synprilox. He stood next to her calmly though, quietly observing the stillness of death. She noticed him and Alyssa and smiled. There was nothing to indicate her inner turmoil. Indeed, she welcomed the company._

" _I told you, Admiral Kirk," she said to him, waving to the graves of her family. "This planet will stab you in the back. You just have to be a little more careful."_


	28. What Will I Find?

_Love is in the water.  
Love is in the air.  
Show me where to look.  
Tell me, will love be there?  
Will love be there?_

 _Teach me how to speak.  
Teach me how to share.  
Teach me where to go.  
Tell me, will love be there?  
Will love be there?_

If Cartwright had been cornered and surprised before, he was better prepared now. "What are you talking about?"

"This is why you've been so interested in Synprilox," Kirk accused. "You've been trying to get a hold of Admiral Ciana's information by going through the channels she used when you took her position. You've been trying to do this for years. But you did _nothing_ to help when you could."

"I have every right to retain any records left behind," he retorted. It was admittance, at least, and one that Kirk relished. "I was placed in charge of the Starfleet presence on Synprilox upon her death. Since no information was forthcoming, I was not able to make any decisions. Whatever information Lori Ciana left behind was all that I had and that was very little."

Kirk knew that he was lying. There was no way that Cartwright could have missed any briefings and there was no way Starfleet would have swept this under the rug. While a lot of Lori's information had been hoarded and hidden, Starfleet would have been able to lecture Cartwright on the issues Synprilox faced. It was public knowledge. He kept his tongue though. He wasn't going to trap Cartwright… _yet_.

"There should be something left behind," Kirk insisted lamely instead. He hoped to place some blame elsewhere and draw out another confession from Cartwright. "I told you, Lance. Lori Ciana would not have left loose ends."

"If she did, she would have given it to you," Cartwright pointed out. "Everyone knew that she loved you. There wasn't a secret she kept from you."

"Me? _No_. Lori gave me nothing. She didn't even say anything for the inspection. You know of the report. I told you, Lance. My life is an open book. I hide nothing."

"You've told me this before, Jim. I do not believe you."

Kirk looked squarely into Cartwright's dark eyes. "There is nothing I am concealing from Starfleet. You know as well as I do how dedicated I am."

With neither willing to budge, the conversation was essentially over. Cartwright only mentioned to Kirk that he was needed to stay put and left with an excuse that he was required elsewhere. This allowed Kirk and Riley to finally enter Sickbay. The admiral told himself that he would somehow manage to have Cartwright admit to his shortcomings. While he was never innocent in the matter either, Kirk knew that Cartwright was covering his tracks.

 _He'll pay for these mistakes. It won't be now. It will be later._

McCoy noticed them from his corner and met them almost immediately. Riley considered the discussion private and pretended to be busy, meeting with Ryder and Ali around the corner. The doctor took the admiral to a small and remote room, where he knew nobody could hear them. He also noticed the box in Kirk's hands and said nothing about it yet. He knew what it was. Alyssa told him about it long ago.

"Ryder wants the plug pulled in forty-eight hours." McCoy said. "I'm sorry, Jim. There's nothing I can do. When they kidnapped you and Alyssa, they dosed her with so much radiation that her bodily functions failed. She skipped through the advanced stages of the disease and went straight into a coma she can't wake up from. The machine is the only thing keeping her alive, but just barely."

"There's a cure," Kirk replied softly. "The Thyrians have it."

"That's impossible, Jim! Every known remedy and medication in all of the galaxies has been tried."

"Bones, there _is_ a chance. There's a way for thousands like Alyssa to survive. She can live. We can defeat them."

"Christ, Jim, listen to me. I know you're pretty damned upset, but –"

" _No_. You listen to me." Kirk was cross. "The Thyrians are holding onto their only trump card. If we do not play ours, we don't stand a chance. They want domination. They got it. We've got a battle up there that will mean the beginning or the ending for us. I don't know. But one thing is certain. I don't like losing."

McCoy nearly lost his temper. It was bad enough that he had to deal with the loss of another friend. Now, he had to contend with Kirk being hysterical on top of his own angst. McCoy found it oddly easy to rein in his emotions. But there were times when he was so frustrated with the admiral that he wanted to scream. This time was no exception.

However, he had a feeling that he had to trust the admiral. Kirk may be desperate, but he wasn't going to chase something that wasn't existent. This cure might be the ticket and part of the solution to their problems. But McCoy wasn't going to hope. Forty-eight hours was a short time. It wasn't going to be enough to retrieve the miracle material and come back in one piece and without galactic war over their heads.

"Forty-eight hours, Jim," McCoy reminded him flatly. "I am not delaying Ryder's wishes. If you're not back, Alyssa is still coming off the machine."

Kirk nodded. He left McCoy and waved for Riley to join him. What he did not expect was Ali following closely behind the aide. Alyssa wasn't dead yet. Kirk was going to command her to stay with her mother and brother, but noticed that Ryder's commanding officer also strode in and was lecturing the junior officer on something. He stopped and told Riley to go ahead and faced his daughter sternly.

"You're a pretty close friend to Mom if I'm supposed to be staying with you," Ali said before Kirk could utter a word. She slung her backpack over her shoulder. Although very shaken from her previous ordeal with the Thyrians, she displayed no fatigue.

"Looks that way," Kirk replied. He remained stiff and had to remind himself that he was the adult, not Ali.

"Does this mean that I am coming to meetings with you?" she asked. "Taking notes? Following you around with all those big wigs?"

"No. I'll have somebody watch you when I can't." He paused, taking a deep breath. "It also means that we need to have a serious discussion."

"You're not used to parenting," Ali teased. "You're not a very good babysitter if all you do is threaten me with a boring night."

Kirk did not answer. Instead, he offered Ali the chance to exit first. She accepted the gesture and found Riley down the hallway. She scurried after him, chatting so fast that Riley had a hard time keeping up. He looked at the admiral for permission to take the young girl elsewhere.

Kirk pointed to the direction where his temporary office was. Riley herded Ali, but she continued to chew his ear off about many topics. From behind, Kirk caught up and listened. It gave him the chance to study Ali some more without her noticing him. Granted, it was obvious that he was interested in what she was doing and saying. Luckily, it wasn't enough that nobody would see the pride and love.

What Kirk picked up the most was that Ali sought solutions to problems with no obvious conclusion. When she worked her way through each instance, she'd pick up on details nobody else would think of and saw other angles to those perspectives. Kirk caught up with her discussion on the dismissed conference and heard her talk about how the Thyrians were warlike. What information did anyone have about them? How did they appear out of the blue and demand protection? And what about the Klingons? Didn't they have a say in this too?

"They're pretty tough," Ali concluded. "Why can't we consider them friends? Or the Romulans? I mean, they're almost like the Vulcans. They're an offshoot."

Riley was so overwhelmed by the questioning that he stuttered a few times before remembering that he too was in charge. Recovering himself, he explained treaties, galaxy lines and how the Federation works. It sounded more complicated coming out of Riley's mouth and Ali was soon bored. She did not mind though. She took everything in like a sponge. She even countered a few points and suggested improvements.

Kirk was impressed. _She is a midget diplomat. Alyssa, what have you done to her?_

By the time they reached what was Kirk's office, Riley was dismissed and ordered to keep the doors locked and all officers out. Kirk was determined to have a discussion with Ali alone and without a thousand ears listening. It was time to tell her about him. Alyssa might not be able to sit with him and explain her side of things, but he had to redeem himself somehow. Ali had earned that right with her mother's pending death.

"Wow, you must be serious about the Thyrians." Ali found a chair near Kirk's desk and sat down. She placed her backpack on the floor as she studied the plans around her. "I thought you had to share you space?"

"I do," Kirk admitted. He found his seat on the other side of put Alyssa's box between them. "I told you. I need to speak with you."

"Is that Mom's?" Ali's inquisitiveness was piqued.

Kirk opened it. "It is. She left behind some documents for me. I want you to see them."

Ali was curious and cautious all at once. Her worry about her mother temporarily disappeared as her childlike emotion took over and pulled out the items. She noticed the storage material and the cube. That wasn't too interesting yet. But she saw the papers underneath and picked up them, reading them carefully. She scanned the marriage paperwork and Ryder's original birth certificate. She was confused.

"Mom was _married_?" Ali scratched her head. "No. The date is wrong. She wasn't – I mean, _no_. This isn't right. Mom was born in 2242. I've seen her papers."

"No, it's right," Kirk clarified. "Your mother was an unwilling accomplice in a plot by an ambitious and greedy officer who worked on Synprilox. She wasn't the only one kidnapped either. She had been taken from the year 2012 to 2265 and trained as a Starfleet officer. She was on my ship. After the…resolution, it was decided that she would remain with Starfleet. She was stationed on Synprilox."

Understanding dawned on the girl. "And Ryder? Was he…was my brother born in the twenty-first century?"

"Yes. About a year after her marriage to Kurt Hemmingway, Ryder was born. It wasn't long before they had to flee the social and political upheaval in the country. They fled after their friends risked their lives to save them. Later, Kurt Hemmingway was killed."

"Is he buried anywhere nearby?"

"No. I helped your mother bury him. But it was when we were stuck in the twenty-first century. His body is in a remote location in what is the state of Maine."

Ali inputted this new revelation carefully. It was tough for her to digest all of that in so short of a time frame. But she was stronger than the admiral anticipated. She took a deep breath and plunged into the next page. Kirk held his own as she scanned the text, willing himself not to get too excited. This was her birth certificate. She was going to learn why he was now in charge.

Suddenly, Ali stopped and trembled when she reached the middle of the page. She looked up at him incredulously. "It was you. _You're_ my father. Why didn't you tell me?"

Kirk had been prepared to answer this question for so long that it was a relief to respond. "Your mother and I agreed to keep it quiet. Ryder also promised." The moment felt surreal and drawn out, so much so that Kirk had to take a deep breath and relax. "At that point in our lives – and now too – we saw that it was dangerous to admit that I have a daughter. We wanted to protect you and Ryder at all costs."

"I don't see why," Ali said. "Mom was isolated on Synprilox."

"I have more enemies than those on Synprilox and your mother was no different," the admiral explained. When he saw the anguish in Ali's eyes, he had to reassure her. "I never lied to you. We still love each other dearly. Your mother and I just could not keep up the relationship. It wasn't the distance and Synprilox. It was the possibility that anybody in the years of our travels could hurt you both. It's been proven already."

For a moment, the room was quiet. Ali was shaking. It was unlike her not to volley with some question or comment. She glanced from Kirk to the paper several times before putting all of the documents back into the box. She sat up straight and met Kirk's eyes with hers. She stumbled on a few words and found that even she was shocked into silence.

And that was when Ali burst into tears.

~00~

Give me a word.  
Give me a sign.  
Show me where to look.  
Tell me, what will I find?  
What will I find?

Lay me on the ground,  
Or fly me in the sky.  
Show me where to look.  
Tell me, what will I find?  
What will I find?

 _Sunshine streamed through the windows. Kirk blinked a few times and he woke from a dreamless slumber. He stretched, sitting up. The night before was so surreal that he could not believe that it happened. The walk to the cemetery to the cold realization that relations were tight made him believe that reality was right around the corner. He would have Alyssa in his arms in either bedroom and they would sneak out and face another day alone._

 _He soon realized where he was and what happened and dressed quickly. He peered outside his room and noted the amount of guards. Alyssa was already outside his door, prepared to escort him to his meeting with the chancellor. The admiral did not chance a glance at her and motioned for her assistance. He focused instead on the events from the night before to keep his mind passive._

 _Magda aside, there was so much he had to digest. Right now, the tables had been turned. He had been the inspector and the Starfleet officer willing to give Synprilox a chance. He already protected the planet and its people the best way he could under the circumstances and tried to keep the peace. Now, he and many others leaders were threatened. The chancellor may have been the target, but she was only one of many, he knew._

 _They arrived at the council chamber. Alyssa bypassed the guards stationed at the doorway and remained in a corner as Kirk found his seat. The Freedom Riders and Amelia Synprilox ordered the doors shut and the meeting to begin. Immediately, chatter began about the state of affairs in Synprilox and quickly changed to the night before when they grew bored of domestic affairs. Most of it involved the ceremonies being cancelled and hopes for rescheduling. The chancellor waved away all suggestions. They were trivial to her._

" _I think we have more important business to attend to," she said, looking at the admiral directly. "There was an attempt on my life. Who knows who else was also going to die that night? But one thing is for certain. Evidence has been put forward that the accused are also targeting Starfleet officers."_

 _There were gasps around the table. Kirk was not surprised. Even if the ones on his life practically ceased, it did not mean Synprilox was pleased with Starfleet itself. He encountered a few radicals brazen enough to take the chance. However, he was curious. What evidence was there? And why didn't Alyssa pick up on it? And if she did, why didn't she tell him?_

 _On the other hand, he thought the reaction from the Freedom Riders staged. There was something off about these leaders being astonished about criminals braying for blood. If this was common (especially in the case of the attacks), then they all should know about it and solve the issue, not pretend to be shocked. Kirk did not believe these Freedom Riders so ignorant that they required an announcement from their de facto leader to reveal the planet's troubles._

 _Kirk kept his mouth shut. He nodded to the chancellor. "What evidence is there?" he asked her._

" _Some of the conspirators have been captured," she replied briskly. "They've confessed their crimes. They've been charged with attempted murder and the murder of two Starfleet officers. However, they also had another person in mind on their mission."_

" _Who would that be?" Kirk raised an eyebrow. He was interested._

" _It was you, Admiral," the chancellor replied. Her manner indicated that he should have known. "You had been on their list for quite some weeks."_

" _Are you saying that I have made more people angry?" He thought that he was doing enough to calm the waves. He shook his head to dispel the naïve thought. "I thought that the Starfleet presence was slowly becoming accepted."_

" _It is possible that some people still do not appreciate Starfleet butting their business into ours," one councilman interjected. "We appreciate what has been given to us. We are as protected as we can be from our enemies. But we want nothing more with Starfleet. They may be a part of the Federation, but they are a nuisance. I want them out!"_

 _Kirk's felt his face drain of color. "I do not see how Starfleet has become a problem here. As I understand it, there are other terms of the agreement, including this clause, that Synprilox did not argue about."_

" _No, Admiral, we did not. But there was no choice! We were forced to. You should have been aware of that."_

" _Not until recently have I been introduced to the troubles Synprilox currently faces. I also see that there are some that are caused by the inhabitants themselves. You should be made aware that the Federation has done more to counter any threats. The wrongs of the past need to be righted."_

" _You are not the person to do this, Admiral Kirk. You are the root cause of all of this!"_

 _Amelia listened to the growing tensions with unease. "Gentlemen," she interrupted. "Treaties and technicalities are not on the table today. The violence facing us as leaders and diplomats are. The laws are clear on Synprilox. Starfleet regulations are also the same. After planetary laws have been fulfilled, if that's possible, Federation and Starfleet laws require the condemned to be sent to a rehabilitation colony outside of our sector."_

 _Arguments exploded. Kirk had heard them before. Nobody wanted any interference from the Federation and Starfleet most of all. He did not blame him. Not after seeing what was done to Synprilox. He chose not to add any comment because any challenges from him might indicate violent intent. Instead, he waited until the noise fizzled out. Amelia played referee and managed to calm her fellow politicians before speaking again._

" _We are still allowed our punishments to be carried out," she reminded them. "While this crime is still under investigation, an example must be made. Attempted murder is a serious offence. Public flogging at the lunch hour tomorrow has been ordered for those who have admitted their crimes. Afterward, all offenders will be handed over to Starfleet officials, if Admiral Ciana wishes it. That is all."_

 _The meeting continued in the same manner for another hour. While it wasn't as explosive as it was before, the man who openly defied Kirk still continued his assaults and constantly argued the admiral's every point. Although mild, Kirk thought the man very petty and tried to work around him. He ignored its results and then tried going with the flow. That seemed to work out better, although his opponent was not pleased. Adding fuel to the fire was not the best of ideas, he knew, and sweeping something under a rug was worse._

 _After the assembly ended, he was directed to a series of guards. Alyssa assigned them for the next few hours as she continued checking into the continuing investigation. She said nothing to him. She ordered her men to take the admiral upstairs and ensure that whatever work he conducted was undisturbed and that all comings and goings be reported to her. She could not promise to him alone with him. The nights at her home were now over. The events from the night before sealed the past activity forever._

 _Amelia Synprilox stopped Alyssa when everyone had left. Aside from the sentries outside the door, they were now alone. The concern on the chancellor's face was obvious though. Alyssa sensed that this might be another discussion about their relationship. She tried to keep her frustrations to herself and only smiled at the leader. She could only handle Amelia's protestations of love so many times._

" _You have more you need to care for," Amelia started._

" _Last night is another example that we need to reevaluate," Alyssa replied. She ticked off a list with her fingers. "Evacuations have been steady and need to continue if we have assassinations. We need to determine the source of the radiation. Starfleet needs to send a team of medical experts. We also need –"_

" _That is not what I am referring to," the chancellor quickly said. "I understand your concern, Alyssa. You have a plan for everything. But with things so…so, well, out of control these days, I think you need to think about your growing family. You've had a happy affair, Alyssa. There's no mistaking it. But Admiral Kirk is leaving in two weeks. You cannot pine for him anymore."_

 _The security officer was flabbergasted. She thought that the relationship and the pregnancy were not so obvious. She racked her brain for any instances where clues had been left and found none. There were few ways that the chancellor could have known and all of it having to do with her spies. She knew that Synprilox was a sort of police planet and used its policing forces to the full advantage. She didn't think she would be a target though, Starfleet officer or not._

 _She wasn't going to lie to the chancellor. "What do you suggest I do then?" she asked Amelia desperately. "I cannot cut ties with Admiral Kirk. I cannot keep this a secret either. It'll get back to him eventually."_

" _You may need to," the chancellor answered sadly. "Admiral Kirk is not a parent. You are. You both also cannot keep a relationship when so much else is at stake. It is not ideal, but it places the two of you in danger. It is easier if you remain the only parent."_

" _I cannot keep a child from the father," Alyssa argued. "It is not right. In my…on my planet, it is courtesy to tell someone that you're expecting their child. One cannot just run away like I am."_

" _You are trapped here, Alyssa, just as I am," she reminded the security officer. "Your fate is entwined with Synprilox. You cannot tarnish another's reputation or tie him down. Admiral Kirk has other plans and is in danger if you keep him with you. We are under the threat of civil war and an interplanetary one as well. You have been working well with us, no matter what the Freedom Riders say about you. A high-ranking officer of Starfleet cannot be a part of the future here. Protect yourself and your family. Keep it quiet."_

" _And then what? I cannot say this is some immaculate conception."_

" _No, you can't, but you can excuse yourself for lapsing. An affair with another man is common in your circles, as I understand it. Earth does not frown down upon single parents anymore, no matter who they are. Best of all, no name needs to be mentioned. You can put 'no father' on the birth certificate and be done with it."_

 _Alyssa thought it over. In many ways, Amelia was right. The admiral had to be left in the dark. His career and his life are going to be at risk. To be linked with him was also going to condemn her to the same hell. But she also felt a moral obligation to him. She could not live on the pretense of a lie. Somehow, Kirk was going to find out she was pregnant. He will never forgive her if she kept it a secret from him on purpose._

" _I will think upon what you said," the security officer decided. She already knew her answer though. "My family needs to be protected at all costs. So does Admiral Kirk."_

 _Amelia smiled sagely. "I love you, Alyssa. You know that. I am only looking out for your interests. You understand that…right?"_

 _Alyssa nodded slowly. She saw the jealousy of a scorned lover when she saw it. "I know, Amelia. I understand."_

* * *

 **Lyrics are from the Collective Soul song "Shine".**


	29. Unspoken Trust

Kirk wasn't a comforting person to begin with. He had been through enough hurt and pain to understand that he had to put it aside and conduct himself in a manner becoming of an officer. Watching his daughter break down had been disturbing and pressed on every nerve in his body. He did not know whether to hold her or to give her space or to lecture her like a subordinate. This was a new experience for him.

He attempted a gesture of reconciliation, but Ali was repelled by the awkward motions and inched away in her chair. After twenty minutes of this strange position, she calmed down. By that time, three admirals were at the door, demanding entry to their mutual office space. Kirk offered Ali a handkerchief from his pocket to hide her distress and hid the incriminating documents back in its box. He ordered Riley to let them in. It was a silent truce. She smiled at him as the officers entered, complaining at Kirk about his behavior.

Even explaining about Alyssa and pretending that he was concerned did not help matters. Sighing, Kirk allowed himself to be scolded before the trio fumed in their respective corners. Afterward, they did include him on a security update. The Thyrians were beaten back as far as Jupiter, but were still running strong and calling for more resources. In the meantime, all hands were on deck.

They added that it was safe to go home since most city and military functions have been restored except for a few restricted places. Escorts were now in place. Transportation stations now had extra security. Civilian and Starfleet personnel were now on around-the-clock vigilance. Anything suspicious was to be reported.

Kirk groaned inwardly. It meant that he was stuck with security guards everywhere until the crisis was over. At this time, he desired privacy and secrecy most of all and found that he wanted to be home with his circle. Ali was good at keeping her mouth shut when the situation merited. Riley had been trusted for years. He wasn't so sure about some puppy dogs tailing him at this most distressing time.

He called for his detail and requested that they meet him outside. When he was finished with the communication, he turned to Ali, packing up. "Shall we go home?"

"Are we going to Mom's apartment?" she inquired.

"No, we're going to mine," Kirk said. "It'll be safer."

Ali eagerly stood up and followed Kirk out. Riley joined them. More than ever before did the pair watch her. Ali skipped ahead, no more than five paces in front of the two. Down the end of the hallway, she took out a handheld computer and turned it on. She giggled when the game graphics flashed in her face. She was distracted for the moment. This gave Riley and Kirk some time to talk.

"What else do we know about the Thyrians now?" Kirk discreetly whispered to Riley. "All systems are up and all hands are on deck. It doesn't mean they're not within galaxy limits. How far away _are_ they?"

"Right now, it's back and forth on Jupiter," Riley revealed. "Lieutenant Elma disabled a vessel, but that hasn't stopped them. We pushed them back a little. Another ship pops up when we defeat one. It's like the Thyrians have backup ships in case of a disadvantage and we don't see them."

"Destroying a ship should have been a good sign. How are they able to bring in reinforcements without us seeing them? They don't have a cloaking device like the Romulans do."

"You're right, Admiral, but this is a difficult situation. We haven't had an attack like this before. Not from the inside anyway. They have technology we can only dream about."

"How were they able to get through our defenses so easily? Did our courtesies contribute to it?"

"Well, Sir, they _did_ request many things. Nobody came to their quarters. They cooked their own food. They also had some of their men explore restricted areas."

"Why was this not reported to Captain Elma?"

Riley blinked like he had been hit in the face and was hardly surprised. "She was aware of the situation, Admiral. She placed more of security in those areas when she could get away with it. The issue was considered closed."

Kirk fumed inside. There was so much he wasn't privy to and that hurt. But there wasn't much that could have been done. Alyssa was taken out of the game after the assassination attempt and she took the blame for her subordinate. But he was not aware that she was more than suspicious of the Thyrians and took other precautions. Sure, she went along with what Kirk was investigating. She even pulled a few strings to get Jason Lattimer. He did not like this secret keeping.

 _But it doesn't matter now._

The regret ran deep. Kirk suppressed his anger and frustration with the fresh wave of grief. He found himself in a precarious position. He had to balance a fine line between respectable officer and private person. For the time being (rumors hopefully remaining hushed), he still had to keep quiet about Ali. Once Alyssa died and her will was revealed, it will be a different matter. Despite this confliction of emotion, he could claim the affair existed and face down the worry about Ali later. That was best.

When they exited the bunker, Kirk and Riley lost track of Ali. In between the emerging bustle of the city (still recovering from the attacks) and the emergency personnel that directed traffic, she had disappeared. Kirk felt his heart go into his throat as he scanned the crowds frantically, looking for his daughter without panicking. He felt silly when he located her sitting on a nearby bench. Her attention was still planted in her game.

 _This is what Alyssa must have felt everyday._

Kirk waited for his sentries to arrive before telling Riley and Ali that his apartment was their destination. Four burly men marched sternly behind them on the way, biting into the back of their feet often. The admiral thought they were new to the job. Most certainly, they were young and fresh from the Academy. Frustrated, he ordered them to back off a few feet a couple of times before they reached his building.

This too had been destroyed in the attack, more on the inside than out. Kirk allowed his eager followers to inspect the foyer, hallways, lift and stairwell first. While clean-up crews had been busy, they too had to undergo inspection before Kirk and his party could enter. Once the coast was clear, they were escorted to the only turbolift working. It managed to drop them off on the third floor. They had to take the stairs the rest of the way up.

Riley was invited to spend the night with Kirk to prevent a repeat performance. He emptied his apartment of some essentials before settling with the admiral in his living room. He was asleep in a chair almost immediately. Setting down himself, Kirk directed his guards in key positions and ordered them to clear out. This left him and Ali alone.

To him, it felt strange. He didn't know what else to do with a child or how to figure out her needs. Ever since the Academy, he had lived on his own mostly and with a few exceptions. His antiques had been his only company and that was only a recent friend. On and off, Riley was the occasional visitor and mostly to nag.

Ali quickly settled the problem and took the reins by ignoring Kirk. She settled at a chair near the fireplace, her backpack beside it on the floor. She took out her computer again. She didn't play the same game though. She was reading something. From what Kirk could see, it was a novel.

Kirk decided to take a step forward. He sat in the opposite chair. "What are you reading?"

Ali was annoyed that she was disturbed. She did not look up from the screen. "Lewis Carroll. Mom suggested him. She said she read him constantly at my age."

"Poems? Stories?"

"I am reading about the Jabberwocky. It's insane! It's almost nonsense."

"There's a lot of word play. But there's been worse. Have you tried _A Tangled Tale_?"

Ali eyed him suspiciously. "No."

"I have a copy you can borrow," Kirk offered.

"Can you send it to me? I can give you the code to access my computer."

"It's a paper copy actually."

Ali brightened up immediately. " _Really_? You have actual books? Can I see them?"

The admiral was fast. Now that he found some common ground, it was easy to acquiesce his daughter. He retrieved the desired item from the other room. Ali waited until the book was placed in her hands before carefully opening it. She was awed by its age and how rare it was. Paper was not easily found in these parts in this day and age anymore. The edition was easily over three hundred years old.

With Ali now happily distracted, Kirk found himself freed. He didn't feel that Ali was a danger to his collection. He went to his bedroom and closed the door. Sitting on his bed, he put his head into his hands. It had been a turbulent few days already. It was finally catching up to him in a way that made him feel older than his forty-six years.

The old doubts and regrets crept up on him. Again and again, he cursed the day he accepted Nogura's offer to be promoted. He did not want to leave Starfleet, but that was his ultimatum…and a poor and weak one, at that. He should have waited for another ship or argued more for the _Enterprise_. He should have run in the opposite direction when he saw Lori Ciana. He should have resigned from his commission if he wasn't given another command. He should have stood his ground.

Even after becoming an admiral, there was more he should have done. Tears threatened to come down when he remembered Alyssa. Life would have been wonderfully different and amazing with her in it. He should have pushed for her transfer out of Synprilox and Kepler III entirely. He should have been more open about the relationship and tried to be a family with her. He should have done right by her and damned all those people after them. He should have protected them all!

 _Should, should, should…_

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. Kirk got up and answered it. He was surprised to see Ali there. When he looked at a clock to his left, he saw that it was late. He had been hiding for over three hours and night had fallen.

She handed him the tome back. "It was a fascinating read. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Kirk held the volume in his hands tightly and used it an anchor. Now that it was late, he thought food was next. "Are you hungry?"

Ali shook her head. "No. Can we talk?"

 _You're the adult here, Jim, not her. Remember that._

"We can," Kirk allowed.

"Away from Commander Riley please?" Ali wrinkled her nose. "I like him, but I don't want him to hear anything."

"He's sound asleep. Is it that important that we're completely alone?"

The face Ali made answered the question. Kirk smiled. He was still carrying the book when he guided her to the balcony and ordered the door closed. He knew that anybody could hear them from the inside if they tried, but Ali didn't need to know that. It was enough to have the illusion of privacy.

The admiral sat down next to his daughter. "What do you need to talk about?" he asked.

"Can't you tell me more about you and Mom?" she begged.

Kirk laughed. "Not a lot, I'm afraid." He leaned forward. "No. That's not fair to you. I can tell you as much as I can."

Ali perked up and began pelting him with questions. It was so fast that Kirk could not keep up. He eventually gave up and allowed her to continue rambling nonsense until she took a breath and was silent. Al of it was curiosity and most of it intrusive. He found that he didn't want to reply to many of her inquiries. Details he believed to be between him and Alyssa had been a primary reason. Another was the way information slipped to the wrong people. He was so afraid for Ali.

Realizing this by the look on Kirk's face, Ali slumped in her chair. "You can't tell me anything."

"Well, I answered some of them before," Kirk admitted. "I can tell you that I met your mother on my ship, the _Enterprise_. She was chosen as a security officer for our initial trip to Synprilox. The rest, as they say, is history."

"You can't tell me anything specific?" Ali pressed.

"None," the admiral replied as an idea popped into his head, "but I have decided that some things need to be…well, done, before we both settle down together. What I can tell you is that I am going to leave you with Doctor McCoy for a day or so."

"What? _Why_?" Ali was outraged, to the point of whining. "Are you serious? He's going to torture me!"

Kirk agreed with the sentiment and cracked a smile. He couldn't laugh. "I have some business to conduct. It might mean something for a lot of people, your mother included. It might mean a cure."

"I'm coming with you," Ali declared. "You can't leave without me."

"No, you're staying put. I am ordering you to." Kirk was frustrated with the girl. He exerted his authority as an officer forcefully and hoped it went to heart. "I am going somewhere I can't bring you. It's too dangerous."

Ali was quiet for a moment. Her hazel eyes rose to meet Kirk's brown ones. "I'm losing Mom," she reminded him. Her voice shook. "I can't afford to lose you too. I know where you're going, Admiral. You might not get out of there alive and I can't bear it."

~00~

 _The next weeks passed in a sort of blur. Kirk finalized his reports and had packed everything by the time the_ Juniper _was going to beam him up. An hour before departure, he sat in his room in the palace, thinking. It had been a busy time. Since the night of the attempted murder and the loss of his men, he had been in nonstop communication with all leaders on Synprilox and with Starfleet, trying to delicately tip the balances._

 _It was a tiring role he was glad to be rid of. While his efforts had been promising for Synprilox, he had his doubts about these promises he tried keeping. Nothing much had changed except for the lessening of the radiation attacks. Kepler III was thriving and growing rapidly. The local politicians have calmed down slightly. Civilians behaved in this same manner, but it wasn't as extreme. He can consider those his greatest achievements._

 _He had his regrets too. It wasn't just the initial lack of involvement and how the mystery was not solved. The biggest one was Alyssa and Ryder. Kirk dreaded parting with them. Oddly enough, he could not imagine his life without the two and imagined all sort of situations where they could be a happy family. However, he had no power and no opportunity to change anything._

 _While it had been difficult to spend time together with Alyssa, even at night, they managed a sincere parting late the night before. She sobbed into his shoulder, but managed to compose herself by the time company showed up. Ryder wasn't too happy to see Kirk go either and had said goodbye several times within the last two days. He knew that Kirk was a special person in their lives. He could not bear the only male figure in his life leaving._

 _There was something else that kept Kirk busier though. The focus of his last weeks on Synprilox was on the main mission, which was finding the conspirators. While they had managed to gather few in the web, Kirk still felt uneasy about the lack of information and a solid conclusion. He knew that there were more people involved. There was no way that three people could have managed such an act. And Alyssa worked her men to the ground to find out more. She had a few leads, but all of them led to a dead end._

 _And again, there was another problem. Sitting on his bed, Kirk remembered that Alyssa needed to talk to him. Because of their lack of time and privacy, she didn't get the chance, not even when they bid each other farewell. Even every time he tried to broach it was met with silence on her part. It wasn't like her at all. Kirk thought that it might have to do with her dual role as security officer and lover, but that did not make sense either._

 _If he had to pinpoint when it all started, it was after that meeting a few weeks prior. Ever since their initial encounter years before, Alyssa and Amelia were close and they trusted each other. It was whispered that Amelia made advances towards the security officer and was denied. Regardless of the rejection, she continued keeping Alyssa near and their conversations deep._

 _That time, Alyssa had remained behind with the chancellor. Kirk saw the two of them chat before he left. He didn't hear anything. He only saw their grave faces and their conspirator-like whispers. Alyssa was telling Amelia something. The security officer was surprised that the chancellor knew something and sought a wiser head. The words the chancellor gave Alyssa must have included what she needed to talk to Kirk about._

 _To be honest, he did not know how to feel about that. Butting into business that wasn't the chancellor's made the admiral angry. Most certainly, she had told him to keep out of the affairs of Synprilox. Despite all of that, Kirk managed to keep it on his mind constantly._

 _After today, it wasn't to matter what difference he made on Synprilox or not or how his relationship with Alyssa was going to end or continue. Alyssa will no longer be striving to enchant him every night. Synprilox will disappear in the shuffling madness of deskwork. He would go back to Lori and her psychological games. It would be back to the old grind, to paperwork and Riley on his back and Starfleet double-talk that hardly made sense._

 _The hour had come. The admiral rose to gather his things. Just in time, there was a knock on his door. He called out to come in and was surprised to see Alyssa there. She commanded the computer to lock it behind her. By the look on her face, something was very wrong._

 _Kirk faced her. "What's happened?"_

" _Our attackers seem to think that Synprilox isn't their only target," Alyssa explained. "The_ Juniper _has been driven away and is badly damaged. Casualties are high. There are no other ships that can come in until this threat has been handled. Orders are orders, Admiral. It seems that your stay here as been extended, on Starfleet orders. They ordered that you remain here for another month."_

" _And do what?" Kirk had prepared himself to leave and found this to be a tease. He was angry about it. "What are they going to do about the_ Juniper _?"_

" _This area is now restricted," Alyssa stated plainly. When she saw that he needed comfort, she softened and took his hand. "Jim, we can work through this. Right now, the arrangements remain the same. I will rotate between four men and I'll be around at night. We'll have some time left. It might be a gift."_

" _It's candy, Alyssa. It's not a present. What are we going to do? After next month, this will still be a memory."_

" _I dreaded this day more than anything else. Above all, you should know this. I love you, Jim. I love you. Don't you see that?"_

 _An idea came to mind. "Do you want to transfer out of here?" he asked her. More than anything, he wished that she would say yes. "Do you want to come back to Earth with me?"_

 _Alyssa closed her eyes. "I cannot tell you how much it would mean to me to be on familiar ground. Yes, I want to come back with you, Jim. I just don't see a way."_

" _I can find one," he promised._

" _What? With Admiral Ciana so happy I am here?" Alyssa opened her eyes. She laughed. "She loves you too, Jim. I can't stand in her way. I also can't stand in the way of your career. She is right in the middle."_

 _Kirk knew that she was right. Lori was jealous when she wanted to be and she had made her intentions with Kirk pretty clear. They lived together and she was always with him when the chance merited. Not to mention, she was in charge of Alyssa and could not transfer her out of Synprilox without a good reason. It was going to be awkward to explain why she had to move out and Alyssa and her brood were moving in._

 _He felt the chains of yet another failed relationship pull him down. But his mind rebelled against the idea. No, he reasoned, this was not a departure because of differences. It was because of their careers, circumstances and positions. It was beyond their control…but there was a chance to change it. He had to. He couldn't let Alyssa go._

 _He leaned into her heavily. "I can't lose you. If we got married…"_

" _No. It's not right. That's not how our relationship should work." Alyssa took a deep breath. "Jim, listen to me. The way we are right now…I don't know if marriage is the ultimate answer. We can work towards it. Right now, what we face is a long distance relationship that is going to challenge us. We have a way to work it out. I'm sure we'll see each other again. I have no doubt we can get through this."_

" _When? How? We're going to be several lightyears away from each other."_

" _Don't you have a video conference computer at home?"_

 _Kirk paused. "Lori also uses it. That won't work."_

" _I have business with her sometimes. I can come up with excuses when I call." Alyssa kissed his forehead. "I can't afford to lose you too, Jim. I refuse to."_

 _They remained that way for a long time, holding each other tightly. When Alyssa's communicator beeped, she cursed and put her mask back on. Immediately, she answered it. One of her men told her that there was a breakthrough in their case. A ringleader had been identified and was currently being held at the palace dungeon. He added that he was an alien of some sort and was one of the Freedom Riders._

 _Alyssa mumbled something about power and corruption before responding. "I'll be there within the hour, Lieutenant. Do not interrogate the suspect without myself or Admiral Kirk present. Elma out."_

 _Kirk listened carefully to the interaction. He was not surprised that one of the chancellor's people was part of this conspiracy. "What do you plan of doing with this Freedom Rider?" he asked._

" _What should have been done years ago" she replied. "Someone within the government is part of an assassination scheme means that he had the resources to do more and wants to. What it is, we'll see soon."_

" _And us?" Kirk kissed her. He wanted to tempt her to stay for a few more minutes. "Do you think we'll have some time?"_

" _We have another tough month ahead of us," Alyssa reminded him, smiling. She started pulling her uniform jacket on. "We'll see, Jim. I'm sure we'll have some time to ourselves."_


	30. Honesty, Above All Things

It was a restless night. While Riley was able to sleep through the noise, Ali had a few hours to herself and Kirk spent the night awake. Between the guards that filtered through constantly and the worry about one girl, there was no way Kirk could get to sleep. His mind usually occupied itself with Ali. For a girl that went through so much in so little time and had to face losing her mother, she was holding up pretty well. But underneath that shell, there was a scared child in there. Kirk only had to figure out how to reach it.

While Ali chatted inanely and he set his attention elsewhere, he noted that she was a handful and a foreign substance in his life's mixture. He dealt with his nephews and sometimes the children of his peers. He could talk on their level and give them back. His own was different. He was in control and he found that he was awkward trying to be the parent. But now, he was the authority figure and the one who was supposed to make decisions in favor of her wellbeing. Trying to exert that sort of power was different than being a Starfleet officer.

During that time, tiptoeing around the other, they both were trying to get the hang of the each other and learn more. Ali was the most persistent. She still pelted Kirk with questions and he answered the best way he could when his mind was into it. Mostly, he tried avoiding the same specific details and steered the conversation away from him and Alyssa. He did not want anybody else knowing about their relationship and with four security officers around, it was easy gossip.

 _It was easier commanding a crew of four hundred and thirty than a child of eleven._

Eventually, Ali did fall asleep on the couch after her inquiries tired her out. Kirk wasn't paying attention to her at that point and was beginning to read a book himself. When he heard the silence and saw her, he chuckled to himself. She was sprawled on the soft cushions, one arm over her eyes and the other still holding her handheld computer, spilling out the words of Lewis Carroll. The device kept beeping for attention.

Kirk put his book down and took the item from her hands and turned it off. He placed it on the nearby table and settled near his fireplace without his tome. He thought about drinking, but decided against it. He had enough to deal with and getting drunk would make matters worse. Instead, he watched Ali steadily and waved away any questions from his sentries. All the while, he wondered how many nights Alyssa had done the same.

Then, he wondered how many sleepless nights Alyssa had since Ali was born. He knew that she was protective of Ryder, especially after Kurt's death, and always kept vigils over him. Ali was another story. How far did those lengths go? Did she think the same things as Kirk did and continued to dread? What did she do to dismiss those fears?

Kirk found that it was difficult to answer any of the questions. He was so lost that he yearned to reach out to anyone who could help…and found that his arm held empty air. Without anybody here to help him, he was drifting aimlessly in an ocean and waiting to drown. The only mantra he had was telling himself that he was the adult, not Ali, and that he was a poor one indeed.

Before he realized it, it was dawn. Stretching, he got up and grabbed the copy of Lori's material and hid it in his pocket. He also began making coffee. By then, Riley had woken up to the smell and followed the admiral to the kitchen. Silently, they worked side-by-side in a familiar morning routine that had not been reacted since before Lori had died. When they returned, Ali was also up. However, she said nothing to them and appeared to be pouting. She was sullen about spending her day elsewhere.

Kirk decided that it was time to work out his idea. He sat down with Riley nearby. "I'm going to need your help."

The aide's ears perked up. "How so, Admiral?"

"I am going to need to send a communication to the Thyrians."

"Admiral, the situation is being handled the best way Starfleet sees fit. Why do you want to be involved? You can't do anything."

"Because I know many things that they don't."

Riley nodded in understanding. "Yes, Sir." He cleared his throat. "Well, Admiral, I'm sure that Captain Styles will accept you coming to his bridge. His is the only ship kind of parleying. You cannot command over him though."

"I am not looking to sit in the captain's chair," Kirk amended. "I am looking to board the Thyrian vessel."

The aide coughed and almost choked on his coffee. " _What_?!"

"If anything else, the Thyrians can be charged with biological warfare," the admiral continued. He felt bitter about admitting fault. "I have been unwillingly the culprit of this from the very beginning. If we had not landed on Synprilox all those years ago, lives would have been saved. The Thyrian would not have felt slighted and would not have attacked. I…I would not have been involved. However, because Starfleet and the Federation are an indirect cause of this, me most of all, I feel that I need to finish this."

Ali listened to the conversation with interest and sat up. "Admiral, you can't go."

While Riley found himself speechless at such audacity, Kirk suppressed another laugh and tried to be serious. "I told you already, Ali. I need to. This is our only chance to save people. Your mother might live."

The fact that Alyssa might not die intrigued Ali. She pressed the matter. "How? She's on life support. She's going to die. Ryder is going to take her off of it tomorrow morning."

"If medical science proves us wrong, she might not be," he insisted.

"I didn't have all the facts." Ali was amazed. "The Thyrians hid a cure from us. How? Why?"

"Because you don't need the memo," Kirk joked. He turned back to Riley. "If you can get the communication through to the commander of the Thyrian vessel, I will find a way to board Styles' ship and be transported. This might drive them back. They have me. The rest of their targets are dead anyway."

Ali was about to protest again. Kirk put up a hand up to stop her and found it surprising that it worked. When he checked on her, he found that her lips quivered and she was biting back a response. She was not giving up, Kirk realized, even if she was told to shut up. She truly believed that some ill will fall on him. He did not believe it. There was always a way to win. He never lost.

"You still have not told me how you're going to pull all of this off, Admiral," Riley reminded him. "Captain Styles isn't going to open his bridge to you that easily."

"Oh, I think I have the right person for the job," Kirk answered confidentially. He looked at Ali specifically. "But first things first. You're being dropped off with Doctor McCoy."

Ali groaned. "Can't you leave me with Ryder? Mom used him."

"His captain does not have access to a daycare and McCoy does," Kirk countered. He was tired of repeating himself. "He can drop you off with the matron."

This question was repeated for the next hour as the trio left for Headquarters with the four guards. Kirk tried to be a patient as he could, but with Ali dragging her feet, he found himself so annoyed that he wanted to snap at her and shake her by the shoulders. He was relieved to meet with McCoy in the bunker below. He asked McCoy to watch Ali or to send her to the daycare, where Alyssa had her.

The doctor thought that Kirk was here for an update and didn't expect to be a babysitter. "I'm a doctor, not a daycare matron or a teacher," he complained when he pulled Kirk to his office for privacy. "What the hell am I going to do with a child?"

"Give her to the actual matron, if you can find her," Kirk suggested. "Come on, Bones. It's only for the day."

"And where do you think _you're_ going? You don't have meetings."

"Riley and I have some business to conduct."

McCoy's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You're borrowing a ship."

"No," Kirk said. "We are looking to be transported to one. Namely, not one of ours. I figured that we'd take a stroll on a Thyrian ship and have a chat."

"You're just going to walk in there and expect a warm welcome?!"

"Well, what are friends for?"

"Alyssa just entrusted you with her children, one of them your own, and you're just going to throw it away?!"

Kirk was confused. "How did you know?"

"You're not the only one who keeps her secrets," McCoy said mysteriously. He was still irritated though. "Now, why are you leaving Ali and Ryder with me again?"

"Ryder should have a ship to go to," Kirk pointed out, "and I said that Ali should have a daycare matron that can take her. Just pick her up at the end of the day. I will be back after that."

"Jim, this cure you said is out there….I can't wait for it. You have less than twenty-four hours. Ryder expressed his wishes to me clearly."

"He's also a child –"

"Who is legally in charge of his mother," McCoy reminded him. "You may have custody of Ali and can disperse Alyssa's property as you please, Jim, but Ryder is an adult. He's been appointed in charge of her body. He's also a junior officer. You can't take that away from him."

Kirk flushed. "You're right. I shouldn't assume. Just because he's under my care afterward, doesn't mean he isn't an adult." He paused, sighing. He felt so tired. "What time tomorrow morning?"

"Ryder is looking at forenoon, two bells." McCoy swore under his breath. "He said Alyssa wanted a quiet affair, cremation and no memorial service. She wasn't too concerned about what happened after she died."

Facing that reality again was too much to bear. Kirk nodded and thanked McCoy for his help. He did not leave any arguments about any decisions. Leaving the office and calling Riley to his side, he walked out and searched for his first intended target. It was easy to find him too. Cartwright was sitting in his own office. While numerous aides bustled about him, he sat alone like an island, undisturbed by the commotion.

Kirk stood before his desk. "Lance, I need a favor."

"I thought you would." Cartwright didn't glance away from his paperwork. "You cannot have a ship."

"That wasn't what I was going to ask. It doesn't require me to sit in a chair."

"Oh?" Cartwright was interested. He looked up.

"I have to get on a Thyrian ship," Kirk clarified. "I need to set up communications and transport in."

"What do you have that Starfleet does not? What knowledge are you hiding?"

"There's a way to defeat them," Kirk announced. "I am going to finish what I began seventeen years ago."

~00~

 _Kirk had never been in the dungeons of the palace before. Although he had seen the worst of Synprilox in five months' time, this was by far the dirtiest. Alyssa led him from the opulence of the green and blue marbled hallways to a remote doorway that spiraled a pathway downward for several thousand feet. She motioned at him to hold the wall firmly. The fall down the slippery steps was a long one and Kirk was loath to look down._

 _At the bottom, Alyssa checked in with the guards at the main desk. They directed her down another hallway. This time though, she was not at the lead. They insisted that six others follow her and the admiral._

 _Kirk managed to walk next to Alyssa. "Why the escort?" he hissed._

" _This is the most secured location in the building," she answered. "Anybody who is imprisoned in this part is protected. We are considered important visitors. They require the added security."_

" _Well, you_ are _Starfleet security. Why can't you head this investigation alone?"_

" _Admiral, this prisoner is also a government official. I can't interrogate him alone."_

 _Kirk understood immediately, but it did not mean that he liked it. Regardless, he followed his group down the dark corridor. The lights blinked brighter upon their arrival, blinding the few inhabitants seeped into its darkness. Most of them appeared to have been living in the cells for a long time. Their clothing hardly appeared changed and the scent emitted from them was enough to make anyone gag. Kirk put a hand over his mouth and nose. He also eyed the terrified faces with trepidation._

No wonder they kept more people around us. Hunger can be a powerful motivator.

 _The six stopped before a barred room and surrounded the pair in a semi-circle. Kirk looked to Alyssa on his right for the lead. Taking the cue, she stepped forward and glared at the man behind the metal prison. When he came to the light, she noticed that it was the same man who kept challenging everyone since the Freedom Riders' inception. She remembered that his name was Ghanstan._

 _Keeping her surprised to herself, she began. "Councilman, you know your rights. Do you waive them in favor of confession?"_

 _Ghanstan stared at Alyssa with contempt. He spat at her feet in disgust. "I'll say nothing incriminating to the Starfleet cunt."_

" _You can save yourself the trouble," Alyssa insisted. She ignored the insults._

" _Or I can sit here and wait for a trial," Ghanstan replied. "Spare me your bravado, Commander Elma. You know as well as I do the laws of this land. Federation ones do not plague me. I will have my revenge."_

" _On who? And what? Where do you come from?"_

" _Obviously, it is not here." Ghanstan spread out his hands. "As you can see, I am not from Synprilox. I've lived here for many years, abandoned by the very people you seek to stop."_

" _Who are these people?" Kirk demanded. "Where are they? Why are they trying to destroy Synprilox?"_

" _Ahh, Admiral Kirk, the so-called savior of Synprilox. Or are you the man who truly saved a world from itself? How can you stand there and say that a deal was good and done when it was not? The Federation and Starfleet did us hardly any good."_

" _Synprilox made its choices. You cannot blame the Federation and Starfleet for everything."_

" _Oh, but we can. We most certainly can. You alone are the instigator of this union, are you not? Were you not the captain of the_ Enterprise _, when she entered orbit almost six years ago?"_

" _I cannot take personal responsibility for a planet joining the Federation and what the terms are. I know my orders. I follow them."_

" _Then, you have failed in that duty. You did not see the whole picture."_

" _When the whole picture is in front of me, then I will make decisions based on it. There was nothing that stood in the way of Synprilox joining the Federation."_

 _Ghanstan laughed. "You have little knowledge of this planet, Admiral. Worse, you are ignorant. Synprilox wasn't just under civil war. She was also a slave to another vengeful world and one you will never see coming."_

 _Alyssa had enough. "We are through," she announced to the guards._

 _She did not care that Kirk was furious that their interview did not yield any real results. She led him back upstairs. Once they exited and were in his rooms, she breathed out a sigh of relief. That prison was not her favorite place. This time was no different. The dismal faces and the feeling of desperation were a heavy burden._

 _Alyssa turned to the admiral, hoping to see him calmed. He was, albeit showing some irritation. She waited until he spoke first. She knew that approaching him when he was angry as not a good idea._

" _We were getting somewhere," Kirk complained. "He gave us more information than I expected."_

" _Ghanstan was also taunting us," Alyssa reminded him. "He's argumentative and likes conflict and drama. That's just his personality."_

" _He said that he wasn't from Synprilox. Where did he come from?"_

 _Alyssa's face darkened. "I don't know. I've been trying to find that out for the past year."_

" _What? What do you mean you don't know?"_

" _About a year ago, I was instructed by Admiral Ciana to discreetly check into the background of the Freedom Riders. She was suspicious of them. Some of them were making demands of the Federation that we couldn't meet by law and she wanted to know what drove them to these lengths."_

" _What became of this investigation?"_

" _That all of them are corrupt and like to take the chancellor's place." Alyssa laughed like it was a joke. "One of them liked to have pictures of naked children on his computers. Another had Orion slave girls brought to his rooms at night. I found out that one even had twenty-five children and all of them with different mothers."_

" _That must have filled files. How did Lori react?"_

" _She was intrigued, more so than I was. But Ghanstan interested me the most. It was well known that he was adapted when he was a teenager. He was transported here by unknown parties several decades ago. Before that, his life is an empty book. I cannot find records of him anywhere. It made me think that he is either from a planet unknown to us or he changed his name and identity completely."_

" _He could be from the planet attacking Synprilox," Kirk suggested._

" _No doubt about it." Alyssa found a chair and sat down. She was dizzy. She put her head into her hands._

 _Kirk kneeled before her and put an arm around her shoulders. "Are you all right?"_

" _The radiation," she lied. It was an easy one. "It's all right, Jim. It'll pass."_

" _Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?" he pressed._

 _Alyssa thought it was the best opportunity ever. Kirk had gotten it all wrong and was leading her on a merry dance to keep her secret. She could have continued the steps and said yes. True, the radiation was making her sicker. Each time she got up and exerted herself, she was risking her life. Every time Synprilox was attacked and she was in the middle of it, she prayed that it would be a quick death from the blast._

 _This was no ordinary disease and pregnancy. The weight of her ill health was pulling her down. But Amelia's words dwelled inside of her. Yes, it wasn't hard to leave Kirk out of her children's lives, but there was also a line she was crossing. It was not fair to keep this from him. His child's life was at risk from the radiation and he had a right to know. The time was not right though, not when this hung over their heads._

 _She bit her lip and shook her head. "No. I'm not ready yet, Jim. I don't think I ever will be. It might be within the month or it might be years. But I do know this. You deserve the truth above all things. I love you enough to give you that."_


	31. Admiral on the Bridge

Cartwright looked at Kirk suspiciously. "What are you talking about, Jim?"

A million stories threatened to spill out. Kirk bit his tongue and reminded himself that Cartwright could not be trusted completely. "Lance, you're going to need to trust me on blind faith. We are still under attack and with no clear way to win. We might keep the Thyrians away, we might not. But I might have a way to stop this completely."

Interest sparked in Cartwright's eyes. It was pure excitement like the admiral found some dirt on Kirk. Cartwright was onto something, all right, and he felt that he had Kirk in his grasp. But he wasn't going to admit the whole truth about himself and Alyssa and how the Synprilox mission turned out. Everybody's name was going to stay clean, even Chancellor Amelia Synprilox. Kirk would make sure of that.

"You wanted me to be a part of the delegation," Kirk continued. He took the spotlight off of Cartwright. "You also wanted me to present some perspective since I dealt with parties like the Thyrians, when all diplomacy broke down. But this is different. Nobody understands this situation as much as I do. Nogura has probably fifty ships out there, minimum. It seems like he wants the many sacrifice. I prefer the one – _me_."

"Pretty," Cartwright allowed. "It was gallant of you to think of those capable ships and crews defending this end of the galaxy, Jim. The answer is no. No captain cannot take you onboard. Unless you have a _legitimate_ reason why you alone can handle this hostile attack, I cannot endorse you leaving."

There was only one playing card left and it didn't involve Alyssa much. There was the device Lori left behind. Kirk felt bitter about lying to Cartwright about the issue, since it indirectly involved him, but there was no choice anymore. He took out the copy of the files Spock transferred from his pocket and threw it on Cartwright's desk. When he reached for it, Kirk's hand darted out and almost slapped it away.

"Recent developments," Kirk revealed mysteriously. This was the best way to deflect any attention elsewhere. "All of the information was recorded throughout Captain Elma's investigations and her tenure at Synprilox by Admiral Lori Ciana. As you know, she worked hand-in-hand with Admiral Ciana before the untimely…transporter accident a few years ago."

"Where was this found?" Cartwright asked. He was skeptical that Kirk was telling the truth and sought to probe further.

Kirk was flustered by the simple questioning. "Does it matter now, Lance? The problem is that the Thyrians are looking for revenge. Admiral Ciana told it all here. They had been allies with Synprilox before the Federation took control. Synprilox had been trading with Thyria. Once the Federation set their terms and Synprilox agreed, Thyria was thrown to the wayside. The material that was mined had been used for weapons. Synprilox was not the only one who used it. The minerals also created a radiation that has been slowly killing thousands, if not _millions_ , of people."

Cartwright was shocked. "Jim, this would change everything." He almost spluttered out his words, so difficult was it for the admiral to talk. "This was not some random attack. The odd occurrences were not a coincidence. This was planned out."

"Yes, Lance! The Thyrians have used the old hostilities towards Starfleet and the Federation. They shared this sentiment with dissidents on Synprilox that did not make it to Keplar III. In turn, these people blamed us for the isolation. They took their anger out on Starfleet and the Federation. They had some right to."

"I understand, Jim. In retaliation, I suppose that the Thyrians used the radiation on Synprilox and declared an open war without anybody detecting who they are."

"Lance, I was one of the only Starfleet officers who was there, from beginning to end. You have to understand above all why I need to be the only one to communicate with the Thyrians."

"Yes, I see that." Cartwright recovered himself and stood up. "The answer remains the same. It will not change unless you comply with one condition."

Kirk hid his disappointment. "What is it?"

"You answer this one question. This will be the last time I ask you. Did you or did you not have a relationship with Captain Elma?"

The question almost knocked Kirk off of his feet. Previously, he easily brushed it off and managed to piss Cartwright off even more. It wasn't hard to lie about Alyssa. Now, he was on the spot and this meant life or death. Cartwright was giving him one more chance to not lie. But there was a loophole. Kirk saw it and took advantage of it.

"Anybody who stayed with Captain Elma easily had a connection with her," Kirk said with a smile. "Mine was filled with warmth and laughter. She trust me with her life and her children's. I trust her with mine."

Cartwright thought that he had something. His dark eyes lit up. "I see."

Kirk patiently waited to see what else Cartwright would do and say. He hoped that the admiral would keep his end of the bargain. Doubt gnawed at Kirk though. Cartwright was doing nothing and seemed to be keeping everything in suspense, standing there thinking. In the end, after an uncomfortable silence, he nodded at Kirk.

"I'll notify Captain Styles," he informed Kirk. "One wrong move and we'll be transporting you out. If I don't see results, I'll personally see you in the stockade. Understand?"

"Of course, Lance. Now, if you don't mind, I do want to bring Riley with me."

"And he can stay with Styles too. Is _that_ clear?"

"Crystal clear, Lance. You have my word that this will be resolved."

"Good." Cartwright paused. "We'll talk more about this issue about Captain Elma later."

Kirk did not want to talk with Cartwright about Alyssa, Ryder and Ali. The wound was too sore and he could not stand the salt being rubbed on it. He had other things to focus Easily, he pushed the image of the black-haired beauty from his mind. Seeing her in Sickbay in her state was enough to break his heart. Worse was leaving behind the children.

While Cartwright notified the Transporter Room, Kirk took his chances and hurried away before the admiral changed his mind. Riley followed closely behind with a quizzical look on his face. He heard the conversation between the admirals and stood there quietly as they argued. He would have defended Kirk until the end and even lied for him, even though it was true that Kirk and Elma had an affair. That was not the point here.

Riley did not see the sense of him coming with the admiral. It could some outrageous plan nobody had to know yet. But Riley was sure that the admiral had this down pat. There was no chance in losing.

 _Right?_

They entered the Transporter Room and quickly took their places just as the orders came from Cartwright. The next thing they knew, they were on the transporter pad of the _Kelvin_. Styles was already there to greet them, twisting his rod in his hands, but Kirk waved it all away. Ceremony did not matter to the admiral. He considered saving their end of the universe payment enough.

"Status report!" Kirk barked as he disembarked from the platform. Riley followed closely behind him.

Styles was startled to hear the request. He recovered quickly, twisting his blonde moustache. "Admiral, the Thyrians have been driven –"

"I'm looking to see if they're still within our galaxy," Kirk amended rudely.

"Well, yes, Sir, they are."

"And how much more manpower do we need to drive them back to the edge of it? How many more ships are in the quadrant? How many more can come to our aid?"

"They are five more ships on their way, Sir."

"Keep them in the rear, Captain. Open a channel to their leader."

Styles was outraged. Bad enough that he was outranked on his own ship and ordered around like a junior officer. Worse, he had to take orders from an admiral who hardly logged a starhour in twelve years and did not understand their enemy. He twirled his customary baton in his hands and tried his best not to scream in frustration.

He had to say something though. "Admiral Kirk, we cannot –"

"Captain Styles, are my orders going to be countered or are they going to be obeyed?" Kirk eyed Styles gravely. He was annoyed with the captain already. "You are already jeopardizing this mission. This will mean life or death to our world as we know it. I would be loath to have to report this to Admiral Cartwright if there is anything _left_ of it."

Styles took the hint. While he resolved to bring this up later, he took note of the scenario and nodded. "It will be done as you wish, Admiral. Three minutes, open communications will be on the bridge."

Kirk and Riley shadowed him there. The admiral did not think that the captain would succeed in reaching anyone in the Thyrian party and almost laughed at the absurdity of Styles now bending backwards to accommodate him under the threat of dealing with Cartwright. But something bothered Kirk too. On his way to the bridge, his memory caught up with him. Images of a dark dungeon underground filled them. Alyssa was there too, questioning a man who claimed to be one thing and was another.

He pushed them way through them. It was not the time to go back into the past just yet. It was a luxury he could not afford at this time.

"Admiral on the bridge!" a helmsman called out when they arrived.

"At ease," Kirk orderly sharply ordered. He turned to the communications officer to his right. "Are we able to reach the Thyrian party?"

"Yes, Sir," he replied quickly. "The Thyrian leader, Ghanstan, is requesting to speak with you specifically."

 _Typical._

Kirk stood in the center behind the captain's chair, facing the front. "Put it on screen."

The Thyrian poised himself in the same stance as the admiral. Ghanstan was oddly glad to see Kirk though. His smile was malicious and victorious all at once, but he changed it at once. He placed his green hands behind his back in his gesture of contemplation.

"It seems like we're at an impasse, Kirk," he announced. "What piece on the board is going to break the stalemate?"

"We can talk about this on your ship," Kirk offered "Break off your attacks. Leave this galaxy. It's me you want, not the rest of civilization here."

Ghanstan measured this gesture carefully. "Considering you have destructed one of my vessels already, Admiral, I cannot just 'break off' this attack you speak so viciously of. You made the first move many years ago. We shall make the last."

The admiral had to think fast. His instinct told him that the Thyrians did not care about the individuals, but total annihilation of everyone, and he had to think along their lines. "How much more satisfying will it be if I watched this with you?"

"What an interesting concept, Admiral." Ghanstan appeared considerate. "It will be worth my while. Prisoners do not last forever either."

Ghanstan conferenced with some people in the background in their language. The group was tight-knit, but their expressions were open. They did not like what was happening and argued with Ghanstan. Kirk wasn't sure if this meant that his suggestion was accepted or not or that Ghanstan was trying to gainsay them. However, he understood one thing: his escape and a destroyed ship did not go unnoticed. The Thyrian was going to punish him for the transgression. It would not be just watching his world crumble.

 _Just like their only escaped citizen, all those years ago. She had to be punished somehow. Her children and grandchildren will suffer the consequences._

Ghanstan returned to the center of the screen. "I think we've got all that we require, Kirk. Prepare for death."

The admiral would have protested and asked the meaning of the statement, but did not get the chance to. He soon felt the familiar sensation of being beamed. The last thing he saw was Styles moving to call for security and yelling in frustration. The image reappeared as he landed on the Thyrian ship, near Ghanstan. Next to him to share the death sentence was Riley.

Kirk was horrified. _No! He wasn't supposed to come with me!_

Ghanstan faced them. "Now that I have your undivided attention, Admiral, there are some thing we need to discuss. Come. Let us act lie civilized beings for once."

~00~

 _Alyssa worked well into the night, trying to find more answers about Ghanstan. Because she had found nothing except a few recent chapters, she sent some of her people out to research. Her men had exhausted every lead they had and found nothing more than the interrogation and some records from twenty plus years ago and that was little to go on. Ghanstan was another immigrant of many who settled on Synprilox, nothing more._

 _This terrified her. Questions of the worst sort rolled in her mind about Ghanstan. This person was a Freedom Rider and in the center of government affairs. He had been the most vocal and vicious of the bunch the chancellor had dealt with. It was surprising that he part of a conspiracy to murder and those reasons eluded the investigators. Alyssa knew there was a larger loop somewhere and it had to do with the attackers above their heads. There wasn't anybody who was going to tell her otherwise._

 _The security officer had other worries too. The worst of all was her personal life. Alyssa was terrified of what Admiral Ciana was going to do with her. The investigation and what Ghanstan's intrusion meant aside, Lori was sure to see through the façade that Alyssa was holding up. She was crumbling under the heavy weight Synprilox dealt her and did not have relief. She cast medical leave aside like a cloak and continued to work without sleep or rest._

 _Also, she had taken Kirk's affections from Admiral Ciana and was having his child. Lori Ciana was not a forgiving sort. She made her intentions about Kirk plain (as far as the rumors went). She used him for her own gain. It didn't get her anywhere with Nogura yet, as far as Alyssa was concerned. It didn't change that she was still Alyssa's superior and could make her life a living hell._

How much worse can this be?

 _She had to make her report and face the music. She was long overdue and had ignored contacting the admiral for weeks because of recent developments. Excuse erupted in her head. Alyssa dismissed every one of them. She resolved that she'll work the conversation through as best as she could. Kurt had taught her how to be a good officer. She had his example to use._

 _In the late afternoon, when Kirk was busy with the other delegates, she snuck away from her work. She wasn't able to go home for this private conversation and sought any console in the palace that would serve her needs. After talking with the chancellor, she found a solution. Amelia offered her the one in her personal office. While Alyssa knew that it was monitored the most, she still accepted it._

 _Lori answered almost immediately and sighed. "Commander, it's been a while. Why have you lapsed in reporting to me?"_

" _My apologies, Admiral," Alyssa said, gritting her teeth. She almost spat out that communication was a two-way street, but stilled those words and smiled pleasantly. "Things have been very busy here."_

" _Define 'busy', Commander." Lori turned her attention to another screen and typed something into it. "This had better be good."_

" _There has been murder, Admiral," the security officer replied gravely. "Starfleet officers have been killed."_

" _What?!" This caught Lori's interest. She did not face Alyssa though, only showing concern typical of officers. "What do you mean?"_

" _The local festivities turned up a discontented Freedom Rider," Alyssa explained weakly. "We have no other information."_

" _How the hell can there be no information about a member of the council?"_

" _I don't know, Ma'am, but we're looking into it. My men and I are using all time and resources. We also are rotating shifts to protect Admiral Kirk."_

 _Lori peered at Alyssa carefully now. "Commander, have you even taken your medical leave yet?"_

" _No, Admiral, I have not. Things have been a little…well, they have been hectic with Admiral Kirk's visit. I have been monitoring his overall activities and ensuring that all Starfleet and Federation interests are present on Synprilox. Duty over self."_

" _Remember that duty, Commander. You hold everything in your hands."_

" _Of course, Admiral. I will never forget."_

" _And take some leave, will you? I do not want a sick security officer on my hands anymore. It's bad enough seeing you with the radiation. If the situation is as bad as it is and the attacks continue, I might send Admiral Kirk back in a few months. You said there was a colony for refugees. Is that right?"_

" _Yes, Admiral, there is. As soon as I finish this latest mystery, I will follow your advice."_

" _I can tell." Lori's eyes flashed disgust for a moment. She changed the topic suddenly. "When a love affair sours, you have to do everything you can to survive. Ciana out."_

 _Immediately, the admiral cut off the communication. Alyssa was relieved in many ways that it went better than expected and that she kept her tongue. However, that last comment stung her, more than Lori's blatant statements about where her loyalties should lay. Lori knew something that she kept close to her heart and was supposed to be confined to the medical team on Synprilox. Alyssa thought that she kept her condition from the radiation quiet enough. With a sinking heart, she realized that it also means that Lori had knowledge of her pregnancy, but perhaps not who she was having an affair with._

I doubt it. Anybody who saw us would know.

 _Alyssa stood up. Her legs shook like Jell-O and her head spun. She almost fell forward, but managed to use the desk in front of her as support. She waited a few minutes before the feeling passed._

 _There was still one task left to her today. She remembered that she still had to meet Kirk and bring him back to his quarters. She hoped that they can talk and work some things out. If Lori knew her secret, then she was bound to tell him eventually. She had to prevent that, advice from the chancellor be damned. Kirk had a right to know and make decisions with her._

 _She left the office without a visible trace of illness. Immediately, she found her way to the council chamber and waited outside until Kirk emerged. She dismissed the guards behind him and took control. The two walked quickly to Kirk's rooms and closed the doors behind them._

 _Alyssa glanced left and right, paranoid. She felt that everybody knew. Somehow, their secret got out and she was going to be forever scared for their lives. There were always people who were discontented with change and thought nothing was done for them. There was always an assassin, ready and willing to poison, stab and shoot. And if there were more people like Ghanstan, there was going to be trouble._

 _She checked every corner and swept the area for microphones and other listening devices. She found the one that she knew was connected to the chancellor's office. She flipped the switch off and disconnected the wire gently. She figured that Amelia will understand. She'll explain everything to her later._

 _Kirk was mildly amused by the inspection "Think we're safe now, Commander?" he joked._

 _Alyssa faced him. Tears filled her eyes. She did not expect such a silly comment to bother her so much. She wiped her face with her tan sleeve._

 _The admiral was too cautious to make a move. He went with the most neutral question. "Is there anything wrong?"_

" _Oh, Jim." Alyssa rushed over and clung to him._

 _Kirk thought that this was uncharacteristic of Alyssa. She had panic attacks and anxiety that plagued her and even depression that hung over her head. When she overcame it, she was coolheaded, calculating and sometimes coldhearted. For her to childishly hold onto him like that was disconcerting._

 _He returned with gesture with hesitation and pressed Alyssa's head against his shoulder. He found this was a mistake. His uniform was soon soaked with Alyssa's tears_

 _She started mumbling things into the cloth. At first, they were only grunting sounds without any meaning. Then, jumbles of words spilled out and were strung along randomly and then with some sense. She talked about their safety and then something about Synprilox. There was a mention of Keplar III and how much she yearned to be there. She added in something about enemies, their positions and the relationship._

 _Kirk could not make out the whole meaning. He tried listening closely and soon found an incomprehensible story of woe. Then, he put the chapters in order. Yet, he did not find the root problem. He tried again._

 _It was when Alyssa talked about children. Kirk froze and gripped the back of her shirt tighter. All of a sudden, it made sense. Everything fell into place…and their lives just fell apart and shattered into a million pieces._

 _Kirk felt like he was struck hard. He did not know how to respond. He allowed Alyssa to continue her ranting. As it grew louder and more understandable, he hoped that nobody heard beyond his doors. But even Alyssa realized that she was worsening. She softened the blow and controlled her tears. The secret was no longer with her. Kirk now knew._

 _When Alyssa had calmed down a minute later, Kirk separated from her and sat on the nearby bed. He put his head into his hands, trying to process the revelation. It was utterly impossible. He was devastated and it wasn't because he was going to be a father. Their careers were going into two different directions and he couldn't do anything about it. He wasn't even going to be on Synprilox for much longer and Alyssa was exiled to the dying world._

 _Alyssa did not know what to do. Her misery was spent. She thought about comforting him instead of catering to her private pity party, but she was waved away. She waited a few minutes before inching forward. This time, Kirk took her into his arms. She was relieved. He wasn't angry, just surprised. She could deal with that._

" _What are we going to do?" Kirk asked her gently. "You can't leave Synprilox yet."_

" _No," Alyssa conceded. "Lori Ciana will have my ass, Jim. She loves my work and uses me, but she will keep Starfleet's secrets if she has to. Leaving me here to rot and cheating Synprilox is one of her many talents."_

 _He ignored the jab. "I love you, Alyssa. I cannot leave you now."_

" _You have to, Jim. We might not have a choice. I cannot hold you back. This isn't going to look good with Starfleet and Synprilox. I can make lame excuses and hold my own. I cannot afford to lose you."_

" _You cannot tell a man to stay way from his own child!"_

" _And you can't believe that Lori Ciana will accept this new change in your career. You cannot marry me, Jim. Even if this went past Starfleet – the model of military tradition and acceptance of all sorts of practices – then Synprilox will not accept it. You are well known as a savior and a slave master. Anything can be used against you. A child is the easiest tool of an enemy, especially your own. One of mine can be hidden. Don't you see that?"_

" _What the hell do you expect me to do, Alyssa? Stay away and pretend it all never happened? That we're chaste and just an admiral and a commander? You might be alone and –"_

" _Die?" Alyssa laughed bitterly. "I do not fear death, Jim. The Grim Reaper is my friend. Dammit, I risk my life everyday. I am a security officer. I am not supposed to last long. This disease will probably kill me long before a phaser or a knife will."_

 _Kirk was disturbed by her bluntness, but saw the sad reality of their situation. He had to shake away the morbidity. "Promise me something," he demanded. His voice shook._

" _Anything." Alyssa could not deny him._

" _Always keep me in the loop," Kirk stipulated. "I understand…I see why I have to stay away. I cannot accept it. I don't want to. But our lives are at a great divide. Mine is on Earth. Yours is here on Synprilox. Nobody is going to transfer me here and you are having a hard time leaving. At this point in our lives, we do not have room for a family together."_

" _I'll die here, Jim," Alyssa whispered. "I'll be another body. But the children will be safe. I swear."_

" _No. I will get you all out of this situation." Kirk was sure of his vow. "It may take me years, Alyssa, but you will never have to worry again. We will be together. I promise you that."_


	32. Playing Cards

Kirk was not fazed. He blinked a few times to dispel the surprise. "If you acted like a civilized being in the first place, we wouldn't be in this position now."

"Come now, Admiral. We _are_ a civilized race, after all. The Federation hardly sees it." Ghanstan motioned him to the turbolift. "Shall we discuss this over some tea? I believe that your English race use it as a midafternoon meal."

Kirk fought a shudder down. The innocent way Ghanstan offered the treat was something akin to cold. But this might work out to his advantage. He nodded his assent just as the ship trembled. He had twenty-four hours or so before Alyssa faced death completely and more on his conscience lightyears away. He had to play his cards right.

Ghanstan turned to his communications team. "Let the good captain on the other side know that we hold Admiral Kirk and Commander Riley as honored guests. We will parley as needed. This galaxy won't last much longer anyway."

Once the order was acknowledged, a group of six Thyrians flanked the pair and marched them along behind Ghanstan. Suddenly, Riley had something to tell Kirk, but he was hesitant. The admiral hoped there was an opportunity. It felt like they were being suffocated as it was. The turbolift was akin to being imprisoned in a tiny box as nine beings crammed themselves into it. It surged downward from the bridge, heading several decks deeper into the ship.

After they stopped and the doors opened, they walked onto a floor that seemed more guarded than most. Kirk observed each doorway as much as he could without being conspicuous. He noted a few that indicated important items or services. Although in a language he could not understand, he knew importance when he saw it.

When Riley caught up with him, suspicions were confirmed. "Sir, this floor is the power source," he whispered.

Kirk was slightly confused. "What do you mean?"

"Lieutenant Elma managed to disengage one ship," he reminded Kirk. "The vessel was one of two that the rest draw power from. The main source of the radiation is here. The cure has to be here or another ship."

"So, the other vessels will be powerless without this radiation? That it isn't just a weapon?"

"Precisely, Sir. Once this ship is disabled, we can overcome the rest of them much easier. Besides, their weapons aren't as updated as they'd like us to believe."

"I don't think we can just waltz in here, Riley. Besides, how did you figure this out?"

Riley grinned. "I'll let you know later, Sir. I am sure we'll figure it out all out."

"I see you're becoming acquainted with our facilities," Ghanstan called from his position in the front. "As you'll see, this is how we survive as a race."

Kirk bit back a snappish remark. He followed Ghanstan and his men until they reached what appeared to be a reception room. He and Riley were allowed to enter first. Initially, they relaxed. The scene was quite quaint. There were several tables, but little company and servers to guarantee an atmosphere of comfort and tranquility. Kirk was seated at one table and Riley at another.

Kirk settled into a diplomatic stance and fixed his face to be more guarded. He studied Ghanstan at the opposite table as their tea and accompanying desserts were served. The Honored member was wearing quite the mask, of courteousness and hospitality. Underneath, he was seething. It was fortuitous that Kirk was in his hands again, but that hardly touched into how upset the loss of a ship meant. If Riley was right, then Ghanstan was slowly losing. His commands and bravado meant nothing.

Ghanstan didn't pull any punches either. "Why, Admiral? Why offer yourself again? Wouldn't it be more prudent to leave the hard work to your underlings? Let them suffer for you?"

"No, I wouldn't like my subordinates to see the results of my work," Kirk replied tartly. "It isn't everyday an officer sees what happened when he comes in peace."

Ghanstan remained stoic, but he fumed on the inside. His mouth twitched. "I might have inquired about your…inspection…Admiral. But I was there to see it. I mean, it was only, what? Eleven or so years ago? The last time you were in Synprilox?"

"Precisely. I conducted a subsequent visit to its colony sometime later. I was there for a little more than a month."

"And what have you found there? On this colony?"

Kirk resisted the bait. It was enough to give Ghanstan some information about his visits to the Synprilox people. The images of a dying world flashed in front of his eyes. Avoiding it, he took another sip of tea.

"I found it…well, unique and out of the way. Interesting too. It had so much potential." Kirk reached for a muffin and took a bite. The saucer rattled in his hands, so he set it aside. "Every colony has the ability to morph into a functionable world."

"Indeed," Ghanstan conceded. "The people of Synprilox are just…well, a little two-faced. Don't you think?"

"All politics run along that same theme."

"Yes, but there are also those who survived and continued the duplicity. They will continue this…theme, as you call it. I wonder if you know how to get to them? I'd love to see if it's true."

Kirk's heart almost stopped. He realized Ghanstan was phishing for information about Kepler III and its refugees. He smiled weakly and shrugged his shoulders in indifference. It wasn't much of a distracting gesture.

"I seem to remember the colony mentioned," the admiral admitted, "but I was not given the exact location. Captain Elma directed my vessel to another part of the sector without telling me the exact path."

"I find it unlikely," Ghanstan replied cruelly. "She was your _teengle_ , as we call it. A lover, a special friend, the other half of a soul. She would have told you everything and never lied to you. She should have said something."

"Perhaps she would have told me had she not gone into a coma," Kirk replied. He kept the edge out of his voice. "I'm sure she'd be of service."

"Oh? She did not lapse into delusions?" Ghanstan feigned shock and then sadness. "Oh, my Admiral! I am truly sorry. I am sure my men did not mean to hurt her so."

The ship shook again. A red light blared overhead. Kirk ignored it. While he fond the sarcasm and pretend concern quite alluring, he also checked Ghanstan for any other clues. The Honored seemed a little more than worried, other than the location of Kepler III not being revealed. He yelled at his men in another language. Some left to answer the call. Another dragged Riley to the table Kirk remained seated at.

Riley looked to Kirk for the answers. Kirk silently cautioned for patience. His eyes warned Riley to remain still. Then, he faced Ghanstan, tilting his head curiously and innocently.

"I hope everything is well," Kirk mentioned to Ghanstan.

The Honored laughed. "Oh, it is well, Admiral. It is. Right now, we have our sights on your moon colony. I hope you don't mind."

Even as Riley and Kirk kept quiet, the Thyrians toasted their supposed victory. As the intended defeated party, two guards immobilized them as Ghanstan encouraged the outstanding party to drink. When they finished their festivity, the officers were released.

Ghanstan stood up. "If you gentlemen will please excuse me, I have other activities to conduct. I shall return when they are completed."

Kirk and Riley were left with their guards. For some time, they gathered around the pair like bees to a flower. It wasn't just to protect them from escaping though. As far as Kirk saw it, he and Riley were Ghanstan's trump cards. They were going to be used for more than information at this point.

Outside the vessel, Kirk heard what was obviously a battle. While the victor was not clear, the admiral recognized the familiar whining noises of phasers and some yelling from decks around them. It must be the red alert that Ghanstan had to attend to. It wasn't them attacking the moon colony. Starfleet was fighting back and gaining some ground.

Kirk had to take advantage of that. He nodded at Riley and pointed to his wrist. _Wait for the signal._

It took some hours. Kirk noticed how diligent the sentries continued to be. Just as the occasion in the brig, new men would come in and exchange places with a password. On the doorway, they used the same code Ghanstan did and locked it from the outside with another button. There was also another button that the head guard used to gain control of the computing controls in the room. Kirk had to watch several times before he managed to memorize the sequence.

Eventually, Kirk formulated his plan and signaled to Riley to gain control somehow. He motioned discreetly to watch the keypad like he did. When Riley for the hang of it, he took a hardened muffin and waited until the coast was clear. When the guards' heads were turned, he tossed it and it hit the panel. Riley was now in control.

Then, when Riley was all set, Kirk pretended to be stretching his limbs to begin the distraction. Riley copied him, yawning like he was tired. It made their captors uneasy. They held their weapons directly at their heads and threatened them in a language that unmistakably told them to sit still. Riley stood up with raised hands.

"I said to sit down!" one yelled at him in Standard.

"Computer, respond to my voice only," Riley directed. "Lights out!"

The room soon shrouded itself in darkness. The guards began shooting, but kept missing. With the occasional phaser lights to help them, both Kirk and Riley were able to quickly disable them. When Riley ordered the lights back on, the red light shone above their heads again. Something was definitely off.

"Let's find that power source and get out of here," Kirk said. He turned to his aide. "Riley, how did you figure the computer would listen to you in Standard?"

Riley rushed to the door and locked them in for a few minutes. He grinned with the bought time. "Ghanstan's guard made the mistake of talking to one of the others. What I didn't tell you, Admiral, is that I brought my translator and had programmed what is known of the Thyrian language into it. I managed to catch some of the security codes and secrets, like the ship responding to Standard. All I needed was to watch which one it was."

"What else did you catch?" Kirk asked, intrigued.

The aide shrugged his shoulders. "Same things you did, Sir. But I did hear that some cure is on another ship. It's not a power source exactly, but it's a backup. If we don't get it off of the ship, it might utilize a suicide bomber."

Kirks heart sank. "Do you know which one?"

"It's in the rear and heading out of the galaxy soon," Riley confirmed. "But if I translated our friends here earlier, then there is a leak on this ship. Their radiation will affect everyone onboard."

"Where should we start? Or did you get that far?"

"Well, Sir, today is your lucky day. As far as I understood, there is a private chamber or transporting. Hook a left out of here and we should come across a small corridor. The Transporter Room should be some yards down."

The admiral was amused. "How did you manage all of this, Riley?"

He gave his superior a lopsided grin. "I'll call it the Thyrians' mistake, Sir. If they didn't put a variation of their language into our databanks upon arrival, I don't think I would have been able to sneak so much. We'll call it our saving grace."

~00~

 _For the next few days, Kirk did not want to accept Alyssa's assessment. He wanted to try every which way to save her and their family. It took a few days of persuading, but once she consented, it was easy to make plans and to do some digging, mostly on his own. The remaining days on Synprilox were used to chart out their future together and to explore each way they could be together. From what Kirk understood, he was going to have pull many strings to bring Alyssa with him and it wasn't Starfleet that was holding her back too. There was also a certain amount of time before she could be transferred and then, other unknown factors on Synprilox itself._

 _That could be figured out later. What Kirk knew was that, in this new age of exploration, Starfleet personnel were allowed longer times at one station because of how strenuous and lengthy space travel was. These days, it was typical to serve five to seven years in a location before an officer was sent to another station. Sometimes, they rotate from one to another on a regular basis or move up the chain. It depended on their career choice, how they proceeded and the people they knew._

 _For Alyssa, Synprilox was the solution to a million headaches and the embarrassment Starfleet had to face when Admiral Uriah's crimes were revealed (the media had not been kind and it took some propaganda to get Starfleet back in good graces). While the time left on Synprilox was unknown at this time, Kirk researched anybody on Earth who needed a good security officer, namely in San Francisco. There were some positions available._

 _He did not know if they will be there in the future. One thing was certain though. At the moment, even though Alyssa looked to his safety, Kirk found the tables turned. There was no doubt that, similar to any inhabitant on Synprilox, Alyssa and her family were in grave danger. The radiation alone is a high risk. Add having a child, Kirk will accept no other option except a transfer. It was his responsibility alone._

 _Like Alyssa, he saw Lori to be the largest hurdle. This is why Kirk went straight to Admiral Nogura for some advice. While he did not give any impression of the affiliation yet, Nogura was open to the idea of Alyssa coming to Earth and hinted as much that he knew about the relationship and reminded Kirk of keeping secrets. He also understood the precarious position Alyssa was in and the tangled mess between Lori, Synprilox, the chancellor and many others and was willing to sort it out._

" _Give me some time, Jim," Nogura requested. "It might not come to fruition. I will do my best. But you need to work with Lori too. I have people to replace Commander Elma, but the willpower is different."_

 _Kirk agreed and debated for the next few days after Alyssa's announcement how to approach this with Lori. He decided to keep it low key. One night, when Alyssa was sleeping and his guards rotated outside, he was reaching for the visual communicator. While the only distraction was Alyssa's service weapon bouncing between the floor and the bed, Kirk did not see any hinderances as he waited for Lori to answer._

 _She took in the call almost immediately. "Jim! What a surprise. How are things now? Calmer?"_

 _Kirk prevented himself from yelling about the delay in help, supplies and military might, but kept his mouth shut. Starfleet and Federation aid were not the topic at hand. Alyssa was, he reminded himself. He did not have to take Lori's bait._

 _He took a deep breath. "I need to talk to you about Commander Elma."_

" _What about her? Has she done something to be put on report?" Lori's eyes narrowed suspiciously._

" _No, no, nothing like that," Kirk reassured her. He shook his head. "I am curious as to when her tenure on Synprilox will end."_

" _Well, it's complicated, Jim. We need a trusted presence on the planet and she's it. Granted, she's trained enough people to take over. But nobody likes any replacement she suggests."_

" _Lori, she's been here for nearly six years. There must be a better reason why we cannot transfer her."_

 _Lori changed the topic. "Why are you so interested in her? I've told you enough. It's reason enough to keep Commander Elma on Synprilox."_

" _Yes, you've explained that she_ might _be a traitor to Starfleet," Kirk countered. He threw out his next card in a rush, without thinking about the consequences. "She isn't. It's plain to see that she's your double agent, Lori, and you can't stand to lose her. Admit it. She's a slave under your whip. The radiation alone is killing her. There has to be a way to release her."_

" _In her other delicate condition, I don't think so." Lori's voice grew cold. "Look, Jim, you're right. Starfleet and the chancellor believe that Commander Elma is a pacifists' link and can work between all sides. She's good at playing the other party against each other and getting the job done. She stays where she is and that's final. I won't hear another argument about it."_

" _I think you'll also be up against the Old Man," Kirk threw out. It wasn't a good card, but he thought it was worth playing. "He stated that he has other people who can take Commander Elma's place. There are other security officers here that step up."_

 _Lori fumed and was silenced by her anger. Kirk did not venture to mention any more of the conversation with Nogura (it wasn't Lori's business anyway, he reasoned). It was enough that he watched her form words that she could utter._

 _Finally, she found her footing. "I will talk it over with Admiral Nogura. But I will not guarantee anything, Jim. Don't push me. Commander Elma will stay where she is for now. She is an asset to us on Synprilox and that's final. Ciana out."_

 _Lori closed the communications. While it was a victory, Kirk still felt uneasy. First, he was told to watch his back because Alyssa might be a traitor. Now, through the muddle, he suddenly figured out why Lori wanted her to remain. Something was still off. This wasn't a matter of what Lori wished, although he could see it was a form of revenge. This was the unknown factor as to why Alyssa was exiled._

 _His eyes gazed over to Alyssa's sleeping form. He was startled when he saw that she wasn't there. Kirk stood up frantically and searched around for her. He relaxed slightly when he heard the sonic shower and some gagging next door. It was definitely Alyssa._

 _There was soon a knock on the door. "Yes?" Kirk called out._

 _The door slid open, revealing one of Alyssa's subordinates. "I'm sorry to bother you, Admiral. I heard some noise. Is everything all right?"_

" _Yes, yes." Kirk waved his concerns away. "You can go."_

" _Again, I apologize for the intrusion, Sir. Commander Elma requested that I stay around until she is finished bathing."_

" _You can remain outside, Lieutenant. I will deal with her later. Thank you."_

 _It took some haggling because of how strict Alyssa was and how afraid her men were of disobeying her. Kirk managed to get the youngling out of his room and cursed Alyssa under his breath for her cautiousness. He waited until she emerged and was going to chastise her and stopped. She was so sickly that he wondered if she was able to stand._

 _Alyssa nodded at Kirk in greeting and gestured to wait a minute. She exited and checked on her men outside, understanding why nobody was with Kirk. While she was annoyed the one was not where she ordered, she kept her tongue and opted for discipline later. She only instructed them on a few tasks and returned._

" _How was Admiral Ciana?" she asked. She was wounded._

" _Feeling the same as you," Kirk replied._

" _I don't think I'm jealous," Alyssa countered stubbornly. "I heard her, Jim. She knows. This isn't going well for us, you most of all."_

" _What are you talking about?" Kirk noted the change in tone._

" _She won't help you command the_ Enterprise _," she blurted out. "Lori Ciana is playing a game with you. She read your files. She managed to put Doctor McCoy in a position where he has no power. This is why she nagged at Admiral Nogura. They both thought you were the perfect fit for a promotion. This isn't for you. This is for Starfleet."_

" _Admiral Ciana isn't breaking her word," Kirk argued like a vow. "She's promised me."_

" _But it isn't going to happen, Jim. Please listen to me."_

" _An officer's word means the world."_

" _But Lori Ciana's doesn't mean anything except for her own means. You can say all you want about the_ Enterprise _. You won't get her back. William Decker is in charge of her refit and it'll be years maybe before she'll take flight. The_ Enterprise _is over twenty years old. You can't bide your time for her and command. You've been grounded, just like they did to me."_

 _Kirk's heart sank again. He was angry about the intrusion, but Alyssa was right. She hit a part of him that held as much hope for her. To hear that his wildest dreams are going to be dashed was too much to bear on top of being responsible for a family. Was it enough that he was not successful in saving Alyssa? Had to contend with power beyond his control? Wasn't it salt in a wound to never sit in the captain's chair again?_

" _Don't you think I don't know that?" he hissed at her. "The price is too high. We all have to gamble. This is one of them."_

" _You cannot throw me down on that table," Alyssa stipulated. "It's dangerous to try. I love you so much, Jim. I cannot bear you leaving me, but I also cannot lose you too. I'll go to the ends of the galaxy for you if I had to, but I cannot watch you fall either."_

 _Kirk embraced her. He sought to find the right words, but could only say a cultural reference Alyssa often used. "I know, Alyssa. I know."_


	33. Learning to Fly

While Riley promised a simple route to a transporter, it took longer to get their bearings. There were more side corridors and doors than they realized and the Thyrian language had more variations than Riley realized. Their investigation began with translating their pathway with Riley's device as best as they could. While it worked better when people were talking, he had to program the letting and take pictures in order to figure out their destination. Each doorway they've encountered did not promise them a way to the transporter.

"Do you think you've been misled?" Kirk asked Riley. It wasn't the first time.

"No Sir," the aide replied confidentially. "It just seems there is some miscalculation in the computer's inputting."

Kirk sighed and continued to follow Riley. Eventually, Riley insisted that there was one more hallway, but then he paused at one passageway. He checked his translator again and found that this was the way. He also saw it was locked and eyed the keypad with trepidation. He was afraid of putting in the wrong password and looked to Kirk for some clues.

The admiral shrugged his shoulders. "Are there any prints on the keys?"

"It appears so." Riley saw some sort of indication that somebody had used it recently. "Three keys, Sir. One looks to indicate the Standard 'ed', another 'hon' and the last 'ly' maybe. It could be a number of combinations. The Thyrian language is more complicated than I thought."

The possibilities did seem endless. Kirk was about to give a logical guess when he heard someone approaching them from behind. He and Riley rushed to a corner to hide, waiting for the individual to pass them. Kirk found it strange. Whoever was coming did not sound like the footfall of a Thyrian and was small and cautious. When the shadow came into view, he noted that it was definitely humanoid and female. Kirk knew that nobody else was beamed aboard with them.

Sudden terror struck him. He sprang out. "Ali!"

The girl was easily fingering the code they needed to get into the locked room and didn't seem startled by Kirk's outrageous exclamation. "Hey, Admiral. I thought I'd help."

Riley crept behind Kirk and groaned. "Jesus, how did you get here?"

"It wasn't too hard," Ali admitted. She paused and turned to face the pair. "Doctor McCoy was pretty busy and wasn't paying much attention. He didn't even drop me off with the teacher. And Ryder's captain has been changing his mind about his leave and coming in and out of Sickbay. I was on my own."

"This isn't an excuse," Kirk reprimanded.

"No," she conceded, "but I had to do something. I hacked into the main computer frame of the Federation. From there, I traced the coordinates of the ship you were on. I mean, Captain Styles is _so_ obvious. I beamed myself aboard and waited until I heard information about your whereabouts. Oh, and do you know how easy it is to be a stowaway?"

"You can't be here." Kirk felt foolish saying it. "You need to return to the bunker. This instant."

"I can't." Ali's voice suddenly sounded so small. "Without me, Admiral, you wouldn't be where you are. Ghanstan is after you. You and Commander Riley will die. I know the codes to get through. We can escape and I know the way, better than Commander Riley does. Please let me help. I promise to behave."

The childish pleas were pretty. Kirk wanted it to fall on deaf ears and was prepared to be stern. He heard a speech running through his head that sounded more like a captain than a parent. He stilled it. The way Ali presented her argument wasn't just that of a child who wanted adventure. While she was vague, she had elements of her mother behind her. She was begging Kirk for a leap of faith and wanted to prove herself.

"Go," Kirk said. Regret lined his decision "Stay with me with Riley at all times. He will be next to you. I'll cover him at the rear."

"Sir –" Riley began.

'We don't have much time," Kirk argued. He turned to Ali. "If this is a game, we'll be talking later."

"I can reassure you, it's not," Ali stoutly defended. She returned her attention to her work. "Now, the Thyrian language is based on class, as I've found out. The lower classes, usually the workers, have their own slang, to keep secrets. On a ship like this, it isn't going to be easy. The crew is considered military and not a lower class, so they won't be using some riff-raff all the time. Besides, the more elite and the Honored set the passwords and only give them to one person when it's needed. They change it and give it to the next person, etc., etc. It's easy to believe that one word and one set of the language will be utilized. In this case, I think 'Glory' will suffice as our key in."

Riley checked his translator and adjusted it in sync with Ali's. He looked at her in amazement. "How did you know?"

"Federation Headquarters isn't the only thing I've hacked into since moving to San Francisco," Ali confessed. She wasn't able to lie. "Once you get the hang of the security features of one system, the rest seem about the same and you can get through anything, even the library databanks. I was able to gain access to some Thyrian ship and gained a Standard to Thyrian dictionary."

Kirk was stricken between disturbed, infuriated and proud. He worked his face into something stoic. Then, he motioned Riley to keep watch at the front and stood behind Ali. As she worked the keys to gain access, her nervousness over Kirk's reaction caused her to make mistakes. She slowed down and pressed one button at a time until a green light flashed over their head. They were in!

Immediately, the three entered, two adults between the child. The door quickly closed behind them and the illumination dimmed overhead. They stared in a shocked awestruck. Around them, there were thousands of tall torpedoes, stacked one on top of the other, from floor to ceiling. Small pathways were made, but they were only large enough for entry, exit and inspection only. Ali did not need to translate the words on the tubes. The pictures on the weapons said it all.

 _Poison. Death._

"Don't touch anything," Kirk ordered sharply. He gazed around. "Riley said there is a leak on this ship. It could be here."

"I don't think so," Ali piped in. "I think it's nearby."

"How can you tell? I don't recall any indicators."

"When you've lived near it for so long, Admiral, it's pretty easy to recognize it. There's a smell and feel to it. It's overwhelming."

Kirk tried to keep the panic out of his voice. "How do you suppose we find this leak?"

"Does it matter now?" Ali challenged. "The best thing we can do is set this ship self-destruct, like Ryder did to the other ship, and beam somewhere else. I think we should be far enough away."

"Self-destruct option is usually on the bridge," Riley said shakily. He didn't like her grim assessment. "We can't bypass the crew."

"Or it's in the captain's quarters," Kirk clarified. He didn't blink an eyelash at the outrageous point. "A captain can use a unique code without other officers. He is supposed to go down with his ship. Traditionally, they remain in their quarters when it sinks."

"I don't think the Thyrians follow the same traditions we do," Riley complained.

"But it's worth a try," the admiral urged. "Besides, we have more at stake." He faced his daughter. "Ali, do you have a layout of the ship?"

She nodded gleefully. "There's a ventilation system here. It leads to the other desks. At the end, it goes to Engineering. There's a ladder that goes between decks."

"Can you tell which one is Ghanstan's room?"

"It's on B deck. That's all I have. I don't know if they label quarters like we do."

There was a lot of risk with the venture, especially when there's a cure somewhere and billions more on other planets were threatened. Kirk knew the one course to take. He had to give death a fighting chance.

"The Thyrians were able to lock onto us by sidestepping a vessel's security and locking onto our coordinates somehow," Kirk worked out. "We might be able to do the same on another ship, instead to beam us back. It's not that we have communicators."

"I do," Ali said in a small voice. She produced it from her back pocket and gave it to Kirk. "I actually took this from Doctor McCoy's office. I'm sorry I couldn't find another one."

Kirk stared at her in disbelief. He didn't know what to say. "I'll…well, we'll talk about this later." He turned to Riley. "What time do we have?"

"Fifteen hundred hours and some minutes," Riley guessed. "I lost track of time, Sir. I'm sorry."

Enough time had been lost in this venture. Kirk directed Ali to show them another way to Ghanstan's room and a transporter. She pointed out a hatchway nearby. Riley popped it open and allowed the admiral to crawl in first. Ali followed and the aide took the rear, closing the doorway behind them. The girl guided Kirk from that point onward.

Luckily, the cramped space did not last long. They reached an open area with a ladder and began a long ascent. Ali motioned to the fifth level (which was a relief to the tired officers). They entered and found themselves in another storage area. It seemed to be a much different direction than what Riley anticipated.

While Riley cursed his translator and Kirk caught his breath, Ali evaluated where they were. She was frustrated. When she was confident before, she was frantic. She kept banging her device against her hand.

"What's the matter?" Kirk asked her.

"It's the signal," Ali complained. "This area is like a dead zone. Systems are kinda…well, they're malfunctioning here. Maybe we're in the right direction? I didn't check too far ahead." She sounded guilty about it.

"But we're just as blind," Riley said, pointing to his computer. "We don't know which direction we need. I can take guesses and remember what our hosts talked about."

"We're going to have to guess, aren't we?" Kirk looked around. He found some service weapon laying around in a crate and immediately gave one to Riley. He kept one for himself. "Set to stun. We'll stick together and split up if we need to."

There were a few known facts. One of them was that there were four choices ahead of them. None of them were locked and opened before them like black holes. All of them most likely will lead them in a different direction and nowhere near Ghanstan's quarters and a transporter. And no matter which way they went, Ali informed him that her computer had no signal.

Kirk sighed. The choice fell on him. The odds were stacked against them, but he was responsibility for their safety. Alyssa wouldn't have forgiven him otherwise.

He picked the second door to the right. "Let's go."

~00~

 _Kirk was still determined to transfer Alyssa out of Synprilox. Despite what seemed to be jealousy on Lori's part, he knew that Nogura was his best bet. His other passion, regaining the_ Enterprise _, had to wait too. He didn't want to admit that Alyssa was right. He would do anything in his power to take the reins again…after his family was taken care of._

 _The night after his call with Lori, he left a message with Riley, to give him a list of the best times when the Old Man was available. Almost immediately, the aide communicated back with an hour-by-hour schedule for the next week. Kirk found the best time for him (which was the middle of the night in Synprilox and daytime on Earth) and anxiously waited until his appointment was set in stone. When Riley confirmed it, he hoped Alyssa was sleeping when it was conducted. It was bad enough she knew about Lori._

 _Luckily, Kirk found Alyssa so tired when she returned that night that she almost fell asleep immediately. When she dozed off in the sonic shower, he had to help her out and dress her. Alyssa drowsily swatted him away, but did not struggle much. She laid on the cot without complaint._

 _This left Kirk to his schemes. After ensuring that Alyssa was definitely out, he switched on the visual and waited until he was connected to Earth. Then, another operator reached him to Nogura's office. Even though Nogura expected the call, he was still caught off-guard. He set his reports to one side._

 _Seeing the determination on Kirk's face did not soften Nogura's annoyance. "Listen, Jim, if this has to do with Lori Ciana –"_

" _No," Kirk interrupted. He cleared his throat and tried to correct his faux pas. "I apologize, Sir."_

" _I don't want to hear it," Nogura finished. "Lori has been storming the office for the past few days. She has been pushing to have Commander Elma remain on Synprilox for another ten years. I figured it had to do with the call you had with her."_

" _I am concerned about Commander Elma actually," Kirk corrected. He cursed Lori under his breath._

" _I understand," Nogura said slowly. "We are due for a conversation anyway." He folded his hands on his desk. "Right now, I am open to any suggestion."_

" _How about sending her to Kepler III? The colony is flourishing."_

" _That can be a temporary solution. Anything else?"_

" _There are plenty of Federation posts that require security officers. We can place her in the Milky Way."_

" _Very true. There are plenty of schools for…well, her_ children _."_

 _Kirk's heart pounded in his throat._ He knew!

" _Is there any way she can come back to Earth with me?" he asked instead. It had been discussed and he hoped Nogura had a positive answer this time._

 _Nogura tried covering up a laugh by coughing. "Sit on it, Jim. I don't know how many waves this will make. The story of Commander Elma has been making its rounds again. You were also her commanding officer on the_ Enterprise _and that has gained some attention. The inspection tour on Synprilox is becoming a joke."_

 _Kirk was alarmed. "How so? I'd hope the coverage will be more positive."_

" _Most of it has been. Some of it is not. I was against this inspection from the beginning, but Lori insisted on it. It was good press, she said, and the chancellor requested you."_

" _She's told me."_

" _It is true. But Commander Elma in the mix is what makes it tantalizing. The two of you together is a powerhouse even I can't handle the press for. I need the fascination to die down before she can be transported to Earth."_

" _What benefits have we reaped from this feedback? It seems you have your hands full."_

" _Well, Lori has been handling most of it. She organized a delegation video conference in the last few Federation meetings. It's been a success and most planets are interested in Synprilox and handling its…political and social quirks. There is support to change their economy and trade has been proposed. This will be presented to the chancellor and her council soon."_

 _Kirk heard the hesitation in Nogura's voice. "But…?"_

" _Commander Elma has been named as part of the success," Nogura confirmed. "We've been keeping your name out of the equation except to say you're there to inspect and send reports back. With that being said, you both need a few months apart before she can be released. Talking this over with you, I believe that Kepler III is ideal."_

 _Relief lined Kirk's face. "When can she be transported there?"_

" _Whenever we can get a freighter out that way," Nogura answered. He sent a request in as he continued. "I understand that the_ Juniper _cannot retrieve anyone yet. Commander Elma seems to have bribed a few Federation ships to do her bidding with transporting refugees. Lori has supplied me with the details and, I must say, Commander Elma is a capable officer and has served Starfleet well."_

" _AI agree, Sir. Kepler III does not have the same political and social problems that Synprilox has and is calmer."_

" _Now, there is the issue of Lori Ciana. I've been considering what can be done with her, since Commander Elma reports directly to her. You've kept her on a string for some months, Jim. It's going to take her some time to pull herself away once she's been cut. I am thinking of transferring the Synprilox situation to another officer and separating you two."_

" _What do you mean? Is there something she is accusing me of?"_

" _I see your commitment to Commander Elma and it's admirable," Nogura said, "but you've been known as a ladies' man, Jim. No doubt about it, Lori will feel like she was used. I do not want any careful negotiations ruined by petty fighting."_

" _Sir, I've never used her. I work with her. She has been a mentor and a great help during this promotion."_

" _And you live with her too, Jim. People believe this arrangement is more than a love affair."_

" _Commander Riley is part of that living arrangement."_

" _Next door," Nogura reminded him with a sigh. He paused. "Jim, if you want some advice, I'd say to walk carefully. Lori Ciana can be vengeful. Just keep it our of the Fleet. I know she won't, if she can help it."_

" _I understand, Sir," Kirk replied weakly. He knew Nogura was right. "Whatever the cost, I will."_

" _Lori will at least concede that Commander Elma can reside on Kepler III," Nogura continued. "She is supposed to be on medical leave anyway and disregards it at every opportunity. If she doesn't take this opportunity, I will personally throw the book at her." He chuckled, then grew serious. "The attacks are serious on Synprilox, Jim. I hope the trade will encourage more military action as well. I am surprised you didn't get caught in any skirmishes."_

" _I was fortunate," Kirk admitted._

" _Indeed," Nogura said. His face lit up when a message came through. "Well Jim, you're going to need to pack your bags and tell Commander Elma and her family to do the same. I have a ship heading your way, fully equipped for battle. The_ Antigone _will be there in two days. Forget the rest of the inspection and enjoy yourself on Kepler III. I'll extend your stay for another week. You deserve it. Nogura out."_

Two more days. Two more days!

 _Kirk felt he won a huge victory. Even though it was not a permanent solution, he knew it was a step in the right direction. Alyssa and their family were going to be safe._

 _After checking on Alyssa (she was still sound asleep), he next set his tasks for the upcoming days. First, he had to tell Amelia Synprilox and her so-called Freedom Riders that he was leaving and that he concluded his inspection. Next, he had to prepare the household for departure. Then, he was going to find anybody who will help Alyssa and many more affected like her. If medical leave was what Nogura wanted for her, then Kirk was going to make it happen._

 _Even though he walked a thin line between man and officer, Kirk did not feel like an admiral. He again looked at the napping form behind him, the one that protected him, no matter the cost to her. It was his turn to take on the role of protector. Nogura was ensuring their relationship was kept quiet and was on his side. All anybody needed to know was that Alyssa was going on leave and hopefully will never return to Synprilox again except to pack to move._

I can't leave you like this, Alyssa. Not now, not ever.

* * *

 **This is for Beyondtoday. Thank you for your encouragement and kind words. I hope this new chapter came out fast enough. ;)**


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